by Lexi Blake
Henry shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. I was willing to find out.”
It had felt good to make that fucker flee. He was off the leash when it came to protecting his wife, and she was conveniently forgetting the fact that after she’d yelled at him for his caveman like tendencies, he’d had her skirt flipped up and his cock deep inside her in the back of the store she’d set up to sell her vegan bread to Squatchers. Yeah, he’d had a mating call out of her pretty mouth really quick.
But he was smart enough to know that if he wanted to take advantage of the fact that his caveman side got her hot, he shouldn’t point it out to her.
“I could have handled it. I’ve always handled it in the past,” Nell insisted. “Do you remember last spring when that tourist was incredibly rude to me?”
Henry felt a feral expression come over his face. “The one who hit on you and then called you a whore?”
“I explained my position to him and he came back and apologized after he thought about my words.” Nell gasped and sat up straighter. “You talked to him, didn’t you? Henry, did you beat that man?”
He hadn’t had to. He was good with words. “No, I merely explained what would happen to him if he talked to another woman that way, he pissed himself, changed his clothes, and then properly apologized.” It hadn’t been the first time he’d dealt with a man who’d gotten handsy with his wife. Sometimes tourists thought country girls were there for their entertainment. Henry liked to put them straight. “If it helps it wasn’t just you I did that for. I caught some asshole being aggressive with Hope and handled it for her, too.”
Her voice went low. “Did you kill him?”
She could be a little overly dramatic. “No. I told you. All I had to do was point out a few hard truths and we came to an agreement. See, I learned that from you. I talked to them.”
His brat’s eyes rolled. She was asking for it again. She asked for it a lot lately. “I tried to teach you to find common ground with people we don’t agree with.”
“We did find common ground. I was willing to tear his penis off and stuff it down his throat, and he decided to do whatever it took to get me to not do that,” Henry shot back.
“I meant common ground on an emotional level.”
The man had cried. “He was very emotional about his penis.”
She looked to Alexei. “Could you tell him how wrong he is about this?”
“I am actually only here to facilitate communications between two of you. That’s what a therapist does,” Alexei replied. “As friend, I tell Henry he is good man and I will help with taking of penises.”
Nell stood. “I’m done with marriage counseling now. I should have known a male therapist would agree with you.” She turned and walked out.
Alexei looked crestfallen. “I might not be cut out for this part of therapy. I am better in bar. Shouldn’t you follow her?”
“She’ll go to the bathroom and then she’ll find Holly and yell about me some more.” Then he would collect her, head home, and plant his face in her pussy. He’d found that was a good way to get her to forget her annoyance. Then he would cook dinner, rub her feet, and fuck her again before they went to sleep. He would cuddle her close all night long.
All in all, not a terrible day.
“You don’t seem upset by this,” Alexei said, one brow raised.
Henry sat up. “I’m always upset when she’s angry with me, but it’s good for her to get it out. A couple of weeks ago she wasn’t talking to anyone. Now she tells everyone who will listen what a liar I can be. She even interpretive danced our entire fight in a drum circle at the festival.”
Alexei’s lips quirked up. “And you watch this?”
“Oh, yes. It was for a group of witches. I’m pretty sure there are a couple of hexes on me,” he admitted. But she was writing again. He’d woken up one morning last week worried because she wasn’t in bed with him. He’d found her at her laptop, typing away. He was fairly certain he was the bad guy in this one since it was about a young activist caught between a manipulative CIA agent and the too-pure-to-be-an-actual-man owner of a nature preserve.
At least the heroine was attracted to the CIA agent.
He kind of wanted the CIA dude to murder the nature guy, and then he would show the heroine the joys of anal sex.
“And then he told the man he would kill him,” Nell was saying as she and Holly walked by. “He’s entirely too invested in murder. I blame that Taggart man. He’s a bad influence.”
“You know what happens when boys play with their friends,” Holly said with a sigh. “I’m glad Alexei’s old mob friends don’t come visit.”
Alexei stood and frowned. “I have no mafia friends. They all assholes.”
“All my CIA friends left the Agency, so it’s pretty much the same,” Henry admitted. “I figure she’s going to be at least an hour. You got a place where I can take a quick nap? I’ve got another sageing scheduled for this evening. I don’t care what they say. Sage is not soothing.”
“Sure. Couch in library is comfortable,” Alexei replied. “Come along. I will watch over our women while you get rest. If you want my nonexpert opinion, the two of you seem to be better. I cannot imagine she will hold this in her heart for too much longer.”
Henry hoped so.
October
“Are you sure?” Nell leaned in, not wanting to let anyone else in on this secret of Holly’s.
All around her Caleb’s birthday party went on. Holly and Alexei had surprised Caleb with a party, and by “surprise” they’d told him they were having it, he’d said no, and they’d done it anyway.
Caleb Burke actually looked relaxed and happy, a beer in his hand as he talked with Henry, Rafe, and James Glen.
Nell and Laura had joined Holly in the kitchen. From here they could see the whole of the great room where most of the party was taking place. The big windows that led to the patio and the outdoor living space were open, and Nell could hear music and chatter.
Life had gone back to normal, and she felt okay with that. She rather thought this was what Mel had been talking about, allowing the rhythm of the days to flow and bring them back together.
So why did she still feel so far from him? There was an odd distance between them she couldn’t seem to get past.
“You took a test, right?” Laura had an expectant look on her face.
Holly nodded. “I took three, and then Caleb ran the blood work. It’s so stupid. I’m too old to do this. I have a grown son.”
Joy spilled through Nell, bringing a warmth she hadn’t felt in months. Holly was pregnant. Laura had a baby and now her other bestie would join them and they would be able to have playdates and a mom’s group and she would have support.
Her mom hadn’t had support. When her mom reached out to people they’d thought she was crazy, and she’d learned to stop talking, to stop relying on other people. Until they’d come to Bliss.
Her mom had met Callie’s mom and it had been the first time she’d been able to open up to another person in years.
They’d come to Bliss and suddenly she’d been surrounded by people who made the world a warmer place, who somehow had become family.
“Nell, sweetie, are you okay?” Holly put a hand on her shoulder.
“I think this is one of those pregnancy things,” Laura said. “She cries a lot. I usually hold her hand and fix a cup of tea.”
She did. Laura fixed her a cup of tea and asked if she wanted to talk, and then listened to her for hours with no judgment.
Henry was already on his way over, as though he’d felt her emotion.
She wasn’t her mom. She wasn’t alone. Her mother had done her best. Her mom had loved her and tried her hardest. In the end her mom had given her the greatest gift of all, the one that came naturally to so many, but as in all things in her mother’s life, she’d had to work for this gift, had to seek it out.
Her mom had found a way to give her a family, one that lasted long after she was gone.
She sniffled and wrapped her arms around Holly. “I’m so happy we get to go through this together. You’re one of the best moms I know and I love you.”
She felt Holly gasp and hug her close. “I love you, too. I don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t had you and Laura.”
“Hey, I want in.” Laura completed their circle. “I love you, too. I didn’t know how good friendship could be until I met you two.”
“You are going to be a wonderful mom,” Holly whispered. “You and me and Laura, we’re going to get through all of it together.”
“And you two are having girls,” Laura said. “I just know it. So Sierra can have her two best friends.”
She looked up and Henry was standing there, staring at them. He wasn’t alone. Caleb stood beside him.
“This is a woman thing,” Caleb said with a nod. “It’s one of those things where they’re crying, but it’s a good thing. I think they’re bonding over babies. Did I mention Holly’s knocked up?”
Henry turned and held out a hand. “Congrats, man.”
Caleb shook it. “We’re excited. I’m going to grab another beer.”
Holly started to laugh. “Men.”
Men, indeed. She noticed that Henry was still staring at her, the softest look on his face.
* * * *
Henry looked down at the saw, trying to go over all the steps in his head before he actually started that sucker up. He had the perfect wood and he didn’t want to waste it with ten tries before he got the cut right.
After all, this was his gift to Nell and the baby girl she was carrying.
A girl. Taggart had laughed and called him a sucker when he’d told him. Max and Rye had simply shaken their heads and welcomed him into the club. Apparently girls were hard.
Daughter. He was going to have a daughter. What the fuck did he know about daughters?
He took a deep breath and grabbed his goggles. Safety first.
It had been weeks and not a hint of anyone looking for him. The Agency operative who’d been watching him for more months than he liked to think about had promised him her report would encourage the Agency to leave him be. Heather Turner’s real name was Kim Solomon and according to her, he wasn’t any kind of a security risk and considered it all a done deal.
Seth had told him he’d gotten not a single hit on his information in weeks.
They might be okay.
Things with Nell were going all right, too. At least he felt like they were. She wasn’t ready to forgive him yet, but she’d stopped talking about what they should do about living arrangements after the baby was born.
They were floating through the days as though time itself could make them whole again.
Maybe it could. Maybe the simple act of living together, loving each other, could be the balm to the wound he’d given her.
He hoped she liked the cradle he was building.
“Henry!”
Henry’s heart threatened to stop. That hadn’t been Nell calling him in to dinner or requesting that he come and fix her laptop. No. That had been his wife calling for help. He dropped the wood he’d been working on and ran for the cabin, his brain already going to all the dark places.
“Henry, come quickly!”
He couldn’t breathe. Time seemed to slow and he knew what he would find. He would find her bleeding and crying and asking him why this was happening to them.
He stopped short when he realized she was still upright.
She was standing on the back porch, her hand on her round belly, and he felt sick. God, they couldn’t have come this far only to lose again. He wasn’t sure how Nell would handle it. Maybe there was still time. “I’ll call Caleb.”
She shook her head, and despite the tears on her cheeks, a rapturous smile crossed her lips. “I felt her kick. I felt her. I’ve been so worried. Rachel talks about her baby moving all the time. I was supposed to be able to feel her by now, but I haven’t. Until just now. I felt her. I think I’ve actually felt her before but I thought it was indigestion.”
His knees buckled with relief as she chattered on excitedly, and he found himself hitting the wood of the porch, his hands still shaking. She was okay. The baby was okay. She was all right. He had to say the words over and over again in his head to make himself believe them.
“Henry?”
God, what was happening to him? The world had gone cloudy and he…was he fucking crying?
Nell dropped down beside him, her hands coming out to pull him close. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think about the fact that you would…”
Would think she’d lost another pregnancy? Would think that they’d lost again? He couldn’t stop shaking. “I’m sorry. I’ll be okay in a minute. I…I…just need to breathe.”
She wrapped him up. “No. You need to let it out. You were so strong for me. You held me. Let me hold you. You want to show me that you’re really the man I fell for? Then be in this moment with me. Don’t push it aside. It was horrible and we got through it. It’s okay to feel it now.”
The tears wouldn’t stop. In that moment, he’d known he would do anything for that child in her belly. Anything for their daughter. When Caleb had told them they had a daughter coming, Henry’s world had tipped again, and he had so fucking much to lose. So much. He had the whole world to lose.
Nell rubbed her cheek against his. “I’m here with you. I’m with you.”
And that made it okay. He let the tears fall because he’d been walking a tightrope for so long. He had to be strong for her while every day he worried. He hadn’t had a father. Would he even be good at it? Would his past bring hell down on his family?
Did he even deserve a family?
“Of course you do,” Nell whispered. “You deserve all the love I have, Henry. I’m sorry if I made you feel different.”
He’d said that out loud? Why couldn’t he stop crying? He never cried. “I’m so scared of losing…”
He held back. He didn’t want to put her in a corner. So he kept the final word inside.
You. I’m so afraid of losing you because you are my whole world.
Nell sniffled and then gasped, a smile brightening her face once more. “She moved again. Give me your hand. Feel her.”
She moved his hand to her belly and shifted so she was sitting in between his legs, cradled by him. He let his head rest against hers and felt an odd peace.
“She’s not doing it.” Nell’s frustration came out through her tone.
“Shh, it’s okay. She will. We have to be patient.” Being close to her…it was everything.
She was quiet for a moment, his hand on her belly, the late afternoon light soft around them, and despite the chill in the air, there was warmth between them. “You’ll be a great dad.”
“I didn’t have one.” He hadn’t had a dad or siblings, and when his mom had died, he hadn’t had anyone at all. “Bill was the closest I had, and I didn’t let him in until much later in life. What if I don’t know how to let her in?”
Nell’s hand came over his. “Did you know how to be a husband?”
His mom hadn’t dated when he was young. Most of the homes he moved in and out of later on had absent dads, or in one case an abusive one. “No.”
“Who did you learn from?”
Those stupid tears were back in his eyes again. “I learned from you.”
He’d learned by watching her, by caring so much he’d studied so he could give her what she needed. His love for her had led him.
“Then we’ll learn how to be parents from her,” Nell said softly.
And then he felt it. He felt something softly move under his hand. “She moved.”
Nell leaned back.
They sat there as the first snow began to fall.
November
“Max, if you say one thing about my wife’s tofurkey casserole and she cries, I will kill you. I will not do it humanely. I will make it hurt,” Henry vowed.
Stef Talbot snorted and let them all in, his hand o
n his son’s back. “This is on you, Max. Take one for the team. Come on, Logan. Your Thanksgiving dinner is still milk. Henry, I’ll be sure to get a slice of Nell’s berry crumble.”
Max nodded, his eyes lighting with what looked like hope. “Yeah, I could do that.”
But then his problem wouldn’t be solved. And Max deserved it. Besides, it wasn’t that bad. Of course he hadn’t actually eaten turkey in years, so maybe he didn’t understand, but he didn’t care. “No. It has to be tofurkey casserole.”
Nell had wanted to insure she had a protein to eat, but he knew she would also like it if they weren’t the only ones to eat it.
Max frowned. “But it’s wrong. It’s so wrong. Why would I eat tofu when there’s a perfectly good turkey who sacrificed to get in my belly?”
“Get it all out now.” He wasn’t going to listen to Max make fun of tofu.
“I don’t have to taste it, do I? I can hold my nose and swallow it as fast as I can and then stuff my mouth with a real turkey leg, right?”
He pointed Max’s way. They had to get this all out before they joined the rest of the group celebrating with Stef and Jen. It was most of Bliss. “Who helped you fix your truck after you dinged it up when Rachel told you to put the snow tires on but you didn’t?”
Henry’d had to go out in the cold, help Max haul that sucker back to Long-Haired Roger’s, and then convince Roger not to call Rachel, even though everyone else in town would have.
Max went a little pale. “I would have taken the lecture if I’d known my other penalty was fake turkey. Come on, man. Do a guy a solid.”
Nell was nervous about Thanksgiving. Nervous about her welcome here. They typically went up the mountain for the weekend and celebrated with the gang up at Mountain and Valley.
But Mountain and Valley was an adults only resort, and their baby girl would want to play with her friends on the holidays. Neither he nor Nell had deep connections to Thanksgiving. There had been no big family get-togethers in their past, and they’d decided that while they would absolutely explain about the destruction of indigenous people and that history shouldn’t be eradicated with a piece of pie, she could enjoy a holiday with a basis in family.