“Too bad. Tell your doctor, not me.”
“But you’re the reason I’ve been losing sleep.”
Bryce may have been her first love, but she refused to allow the good memories they’d shared to erase the bad. “You expect me to believe that?” she asked, rolling her eyes.
“You don’t think you were special to me?” His eyes narrowed, daring her to argue with him.
“I’m not having this conversation here,” she said, trying to divert her attention. No matter how angry she got with him, he’d always been able to melt her with those incredible gray eyes.
“Fine, you want me to stop by your place later?” He flashed her a grin, revealing deeply etched dimples.
“Don’t bother. I won’t be alone.”
His smile slipped, and she could feel tension radiating from his muscular body. “Is that your not-so-subtle way of telling me Reynolds will be spending the night with you?”
“That’s none of your business.” She hadn’t slept with Dave… mainly because she was trying to keep the relationship casual and she didn’t cross that line unless she was in a committed relationship.
“It is if I want you back.”
She stumbled, but his finesse on the dance floor meant they didn’t miss a beat. “What are you talking—”
“I’m moving back home.” He let his claim register before he whispered, “And you’re a big part of the reason.”
Her heart was beating so hard she was sure he could feel it against his chest. “You’re wasting your time on me. I’m done with you.”
“Is that right?” He brushed a tendril of hair away from her face, where it had caught on her eyelashes when she turned her head. “Because your body is telling a completely different story.” She held her breath as he whispered, “Your face is flushed.”
“And that’s not all, is it?” He smirked. “Your heart is beating as fast as mine is. I can feel it.”
She swallowed, trying to ignore the fact that their hearts were indeed beating as one. “That doesn’t prove anything.”
“It proves that you’re scared. So am I.”
She’d never known Bryce Cooper to be scared of anything or anyone. Except maybe his feelings for her. But that was back in high school. She had been his first love when he was afraid his feelings for her would keep him chained to a town he hated and a father who treated him like dirt.
“I can’t,” she whispered.
“You can’t what?”
“Trust you. Be with you. Let myself…” Love you again. “Go there again. I know you won’t stick around. You never do.”
“I have reason to stick around now. You’re here. Chase is here. Our business is here.”
“I was always here,” she said, trying to hide the hurt in her voice. “But that wasn’t enough, was it?”
“You’ve always been more than enough for me.”
There was a time when she’d been stupid and naïve enough to believe that. But not anymore. If being married and divorced had taught her one thing, it was that people would say or do almost anything in the heat of battle.
“Okay, Coop,” Dave said, slapping Bryce on the back. “I’ve let you monopolize my girl long enough. I want her back.”
“You’re not the only one,” Bryce muttered, only loud enough for Ainsley to hear.
Ainsley stepped into Dave’s arms, pasting on a smile to hide the awkwardness.
Bryce walked away with a scowl on his face and without a word to her date.
“Seemed like things were getting pretty intense,” Dave said, glancing over his shoulder at Bryce, who’d made a beeline for the bar. “I thought you might need saving.”
She did need saving… from herself. Because her feelings for that man were going to destroy her. “Your timing was perfect.”
“Did he say something to upset you?” Dave asked, frowning.
“No, he, uh, just mentioned that he was moving back home.” Since Dave would find that out soon enough, she thought it would be better coming from her.
“Oh.” He looked dejected. “I guess I don’t have to ask how you feel about that, do I?”
They’d talked about past relationships during one of their previous dates, and she’d admitted that Bryce was one of only two men she’d ever loved.
“What Bryce and I had was a long time ago,” she said, hoping she wouldn’t ruin a potentially good thing because her head and heart were stuck in the past. “I’m over it.” If only that were true.
“You sure about that?”
Ainsley couldn’t look Dave in the eye and lie to him. He didn’t deserve that. “Do I still have feelings for Bryce?” She sighed. “I guess I do. But that doesn’t mean I want to be with him anymore.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t trust him.”
“He cheated on you?” Dave asked, frowning. “I don’t remember you telling me that.”
“No, nothing like that.” Though if he had, she suspected getting over him would have been a lot easier. “I just can’t count on him to stick around. He’s made no secret of the fact he hates Landon. He did when we were kids, and he still does, so while he may claim that he’s back for good, I don’t believe him.”
“And if he was back for good?” Dave asked, stepping back as he released her. “Would you want to be with him?”
“No. I don’t know.” She rubbed her forehead. “It doesn’t matter—”
“It matters to me.” He shook his head, looking sad. “I don’t want to be any woman’s second choice, Ainsley.”
“Wait,” she said, grabbing his arm when he turned away. “What does that mean?”
“It means we probably shouldn’t see each other until you sort out your feelings for your ex.”
“I hope you’re happy now!”
No, Chase was miserable. But he wouldn’t give Ainsley the satisfaction of admitting that. “What did I do?” He held up his empty glass. “I’ve just been sitting here minding my own business.” And maybe considering the possibility of getting drunk because I can’t stand the sight of another man’s hands on you.
“Come with me.” She grabbed his hand and dragged him through the inn, which was no small feat since he had eight inches and eighty pounds on her.
He followed her outside, surprised when she led him to a row of four chairs facing the water. Not that he minded having her all to himself. “Uh, what are we doing down here?”
“You’re ruining my life again.” She sniffled. “I want to know why.”
His gut clenched when he realized she may be crying, but it was too dark to tell. “Sit down with me for a minute,” he said, sitting in one of the chairs and tugging on her hand. “Tell me what’s got you so upset. Is it me coming back or—”
“Dave just broke up with me.” She sniffled again, wiping her cheeks and making it impossible for him to go on pretending that she wasn’t crying.
He should have apologized, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t sorry her boyfriend had dumped her and couldn’t pretend he was. “And that’s my fault?”
She glared at him. “Yes, it’s your fault. Why did you have to cut in when we were dancing? If he hadn’t seen us together—”
“You could have gone on pretending there’s nothing between us?” Bryce knew any sighted person could see the incredible chemistry between them. One look at Ainsley and everyone else disappeared.
“I never lied to him. I told him that we dated in high school.”
“Oh yeah? Did you tell him that you admitted you were still in love with me last time I was in town?” He hadn’t been able to get that night out of his head. Because as much as the eighteen-year-old version of Ainsley had taunted him, the thirty-four-year-old version had gotten under his skin, making it impossible for him to let her go.
“I was wrong... and stupid.”
“Liar.”
“I hate you.”
If she’d said it with any malice, he might have been able to believe her, but the sadness in her voice hurt
him more than it worried him. It was obvious how much his actions had hurt her.
“I messed up, okay? I should never have bailed on you. I should have stayed and… I don’t know. Tried.”
“Tried what?” She leaned forward, dropping her head into her hands. “Tried to love me? Tried to be my boyfriend? Tried not to break my heart again? What exactly would you have tried to do if you’d stayed, Bryce?”
“I don’t know.” That was the problem. He still didn’t know if he had it in him to be the man Ainsley needed, but for the very first time, he was willing to at least try. He just wasn’t sure if that would be enough for her.
“You don’t know?” She rested her head in her upturned palm as she looked at him sideways. “So you come back into my life, destroy the first real relationship I’ve had in a long time, and for what?” She stood, looking angry as she pointed up at one of the cabins. “Brady said you were staying here tonight. In the same cabin as last time?”
Before he could grab her, she’d kicked off her high heels and started trudging back up the hill. She looked amazing in a black strapless dress that dipped low in the back, showing off her curves, but Bryce tried not to focus on her body as he struggled to figure out what she was planning.
“Ainsley, be careful. It’s dark. Where are you going?” She’d veered off in the opposite direction of the inn, toward the cabins, as he jogged to catch up with her. “Stop! Talk to me. Where are you—”
She opened her hand. “Where’s the key?”
“Why do you want that?”
“Just give it to me!”
He sighed as he handed it over and followed her inside.
“What do you want from me?”
He closed his eyes, thinking of the long list of things he wanted from her. “I want you to know you can trust me.” He almost added this time, but knew that wouldn’t help his case.
“I can’t trust you!”
He knew he had that coming, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. “I know it may seem that way, but I told you, I’m here to stay this time.” A flash of pain crossed her face, and it killed him to know he was the cause.
“You were the first guy I loved,” she said, her voice quiet and slightly shaky as she fixated on his chest. “And you didn’t even have the decency to have a real conversation with me before you left town when we were kids. You wrote me a letter.” Her eyes finally met his, and her light green eyes were bright with rage. “A letter! You didn’t think I deserved to hear all that from you?”
“I did, but…” Remembering how to speak when she was standing in front of him, demanding he face the pain he’d caused her, was proving to be one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do. “Fine, you want the truth?” He raked a trembling hand through his hair. If there’d ever been a time for full disclosure, this was it. “I knew if I saw you one more time, I wouldn’t be able to leave. That’s why I wrote the letter instead of telling you face-to-face.”
“And staying would have been so terrible?” she whispered.
“For me it would have.” He had no way to make her understand what he’d been going through back then, but he had to try. “For me, you and Chase were the only good things about Landon. Since he was leaving—”
“And I wasn’t reason enough to stay?” She shook her head. “You sure know how to make a girl feel special, Bryce.”
He stepped closer, knowing that was a bad idea as soon as he inhaled the perfume he’d never been able to forget.
“You were special,” he said, wiping a trace of mascara from below her eye. “You know that. I’d never felt about anyone the way I did about you.” Before or since. “But I always associated this town with my old man, and that meant I’d never be able to find happiness here.”
“Then why come back?”
Her question was legitimate but not an easy one for him to answer. “I guess I got tired of running away. It made me feel like a coward, and that’s what he always accused me of being. I couldn’t let him be right.”
“I don’t know why you always believed that stuff told you,” she said, sounding disgusted. “Everyone knew he was off his rocker.”
He chuckled at her apt description of his father, but it didn’t make his old taunts hurt any less. “When you’re a kid, you believe what your parents tell you. You don’t know any better. So when he told me I was worthless, I believed him. I figured, why would my own father lie to me, right?”
She stepped closer. “He didn’t know you. He may have lived in the same house, eaten at the same table, but he didn’t know what was in here”—she touched his chest, where his heart beat—“or what was in here.” She tapped her index finger against his temple.
He could barely breathe when she touched him… even when the touch was intended to be an innocent, gentle reminder that he was more than the names that plagued him.
“You were brilliant, Bryce.” She smiled. “I’m not surprised you got all those scholarship offers. What school wouldn’t want you?”
“Yeah, but according to my old man, I screwed that up too, dropping out after my first year to start Backwoods Outdoors with Chase.”
She threw her head back laughing, and he curled his hand into a fist to resist the urge to grab her and kiss her.
“Your dad called you a failure?” Her lips twitched, and her eyes sparkled with amusement. “That’s rich. You’ve built one of the most successful companies in your sector. What’s he done with his life? Aside from bullying everyone who crosses his path?”
His father was living in a nice assisted living facility outside of town, which Bryce foot the bill for since the man had never held a job long enough to draw a decent pension.
She started pulling pins from her hair and shaking the long, wavy blond strands until they spilled around her shoulders.
He cleared his throat. “Enough about my father. This is about us.”
“There is no us.”
But he’d trade every dime he’d ever made for one more chance at being Ainsley’s lesser half. “I don’t expect you to believe me. Lord knows you haven’t seen any evidence of it yet. But you will.”
Last time he’d been alone with her in this cabin, he’d begged her to bare her soul to him, and he’d spent every day since hating himself for that.
“I can’t take another chance on you.” Her eyes were downcast as she bit her lip. “The first time you left, I was heartbroken. But I was just a kid then. I told myself that first loves aren’t meant to last forever. But when you came back the last time and we…” She shook her head. “I’m not going to lie, that’s been harder to get over.”
He curled his hands around her bare shoulders, knowing immediately that touching her was a mistake. “Look at me.” She did as he asked, but he could tell it cost her. “I’m not over it either. I thought about you every day after I left.”
“Then why didn’t you call, text, email… something?”
He should have, but opening the lines of communication would have meant opening his heart to her, and he hadn’t been ready to do that. Until he’d realized that keeping his distance hurt even more.
“I didn’t know what to say. I knew any apology I offered would sound hollow, and honestly, I believed you deserved more than that. You deserved to have me standing in front of you like I am now, promising you that I can be a better man.”
She inhaled deeply before releasing a slow, shaky breath. “I’d be crazy to believe anything you have to say. You know that, don’t you?”
“I do.” But that didn’t mean he wasn’t holding out hope she’d at least give him a chance to prove himself. “But think about the alternative—we both spend the rest of our lives wondering if maybe, just maybe, we could have been great together.”
“You don’t think I’ve wasted enough time thinking about that?” She stepped back and bent to pick up her discarded shoes. “I spent the last year of my marriage wondering that.”
He was shocked to learn he’d crossed her mind while she was ma
rried. The Ainsley he knew had been faithful to a fault, giving him all of herself even when he didn’t deserve it.
“You did?”
She shook her head, looking frustrated as she pushed past him. “You really are clueless, Cooper.”
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