by Kyle Danvers
With hands and knees on the sand, Joel had never been more happy to be on solid ground again—even if there was nothing around. But then again, maybe the emptiness wasn’t a bad thing, maybe that meant they’d found the safest possible place to come ashore on accident.
Along the skyline, where the sun was just coming up, cresting over a giant hill of sand, there were still fires burning. That couldn’t be a good thing. Maybe things had gotten worse in the cities than he’d imagined, maybe because there wasn’t anyone to respond to emergencies.
“Are you okay?” Ashley gasped, on her hands and knees as well as she tried to get her breath. With her clothes and dreadlocks wet, she looked like a drowned rat.
“I’m alive, that’s about all I can say,” Joel said. “But I swear, the next time you decide to jump into the water without talking to me about it first, I’m not following you.”
He wasn’t sure how true that was though. He glanced over his shoulder, out at the boat that was so far away on the water that it looked like nothing more than a speck, another star in the in the sky that stretched from the shore to the horizon. If they’d stayed on the boat, if Joel hadn’t followed Ashley on her crazy whim of an idea, he would still be trapped out there, subject to the tide and the surf that would’ve pulled him out to sea.
“We’ll see about that,” Ashley said, coughing and choking. Though he was grateful she’d brought it, her giant duffel bag had almost drowned her. It had to weigh as much as she did, if not more, but somewhere along the way she’d gotten the bright idea to let it float behind her, strapped to her arm, rather than trying to carry it on her back.
Whatever was left inside, whatever hadn’t been ruined by the water, was all that would keep them alive until they got into town, back to Los Angeles, where Joel should’ve been all along.
“Where the hell are we?” Joel asked. Ashley looked up and down the beach, found nothing, and shrugged at him.
“I don’t know. All I know is I’m glad for the first time in my life not to see anyone else on the beach,” she said. When she seemed like she could, Ashley stood up and looked around, trying to get a better view of the place.
“Go look, I still need a few more breaths,” Joel said. Ashley nodded and trudged up the beach, leaving her duffel bag behind. Joel watched her climb until she reached the very top of the sand hill. Ashley looked left and right and waved to get his attention. He had no idea what she was trying to say or point out, but it must’ve been good because she came running back down the sand and fell to her knees beside him.
“Holy shit, I can’t believe this,” she said.
“Can’t believe what?”
“We’re at the Rancho Guadalupe dunes,” she said, beaming like it was the best news in the world. Joel had no idea what that meant or where it was, so it didn’t mean anything to him.
“I used to come here all the time with my dad when I was a kid, for vacations and stuff. It’s a lucky break, I know where we’re at, and I know we’re not far from Santa Maria. Worst case scenario, we could probably walk there, maybe find a car or something on the city limits,” she said.
Joel trusted her; he had no other choice. He took a few last breaths, the salt still stinging his lungs, though less than before, and struggled to his feet with her help. His elbow had finally started to feel better before they’d jumped into the ocean, but after desperately trying not to drown, whatever healing had occurred had been undone in a matter of minutes.
“Well, lead on then,” Joel said. He was in no condition to do it himself, and he had no clue where they were going, so it was all up to Ashley. She nodded at him, picked up her duffel bag and slung it back over her shoulders, and set off up the beach. Joel followed as quickly as he could, without getting winded, and it wasn’t long before they’d crested the biggest dune and come upon a small road.
There were no signs, no cars, no people. That wasn’t exactly a surprise—who would come to the beach in something like this?—but it was still disheartening. People Joel preferred to avoid at all costs, but he would’ve liked to have found a car of some sort there. There was no guarantee it’d survived the EMP, but they could've at least given it a try to see if the engine would start—assuming the keys were nearby.
“This way,” Ashley said and turned right onto the street. She moved much faster than Joel could, but he tried not to let it bother him. She needed hope, something to help her bounce back from the horrible things they’d seen and done, and if something as simple as an old childhood haunt could bring her that, he wouldn’t take it from her.
The road seemed to go on forever, winding left and right through the trees. They passed a giant field, where cows grazed absentmindedly, and Joel chuckled. What would it be like to be an animal in this, to watch the world’s allegedly most evolved species descend into madness?
“What are you laughing at?” Ashley asked.
“Not much, just that somehow I think we’re all gonna be outlived by fucking cows,” Joel said, and she raised an eyebrow at him.
“Are you feeling okay? You’re starting to sound a little delusional,” she said. “Did your wound on your head open up?”
“No, I swear, I’m fine. I’m just a little delirious from almost drowning. That tends to affect people,” Joel said. She smirked at him and turned back around, continuing down the road. Joel didn’t know how much more he had in him or if he could make it all the way to the city, or wherever they ended up stopping. They’d been awake for the better part of the last two days, sleeping only in fits and starts, and coupled with his injuries he wasn’t sure how much more he could take.
Maybe it would be a good idea to make a pitstop out here in the wilderness, where no one else was, just to get some more shut-eye, eat some of the food that'd survived the swim, and regroup. Then again, they didn’t have the luxury of waiting around. The longer they spent getting back to the city, the uglier things might get in the meantime.
So, Joel kept walking, putting one foot in front of the other. It was all he could do.
They passed through a gate of some sort, and as they walked through it, Joel noticed a sign advertising the hours for the dunes. It struck Joel how time itself didn’t matter anymore. Would there ever be another day when they might be able to enjoy something as mindless as going to the beach? Would they ever be able to stop looking over their shoulders, paranoid about who or what might be watching in the distance?
“Look!” Ashley whispered, pointing ahead. Down the road, around the corner, there was a site of some sort. It was too far away to be able to see clearly, but Joel thought he could make out tractors and some sort of mill.
His heart jumped up into his throat. If there were vehicles there, even if they were just trucks designed to haul things around a work site, that would certainly help them move faster than they were presently—and it would give them a break if they drove.
“What is it?” Joel asked.
“I’m not sure. I think it’s a place where they process sand or something. I vaguely remember it being there as a kid, but I never paid much attention to it because it was always so boring,” she said. “They might have some stuff there, maybe some first-aid kits for work injuries, maybe even a car or two.”
“Then we have to go look,” Joel said. Still, they couldn’t afford to be reckless. Where there were vehicles and potential supplies, there were also likely to be people—and people presented a risk. Anyone living out in the country like this, away from the city, was likely to be more of a risk because they would’ve been more prepared.
“Be careful,” he called after Ashley as she power walked down the road toward the site. He tried to keep up with her, didn’t want to let her out of her sight, but it was difficult. Thanks to the water in his lungs, the water that he still hadn’t managed to cough up, he couldn’t hold as much air as he usually could, and the pain in his elbow wasn’t making anything better.
Even so, it only took a few more minutes of sneaking along in the darkness to reac
h the site. They crouched down behind a pile of cinder brick, used to keep sand in a heap, and looked around its edges for any signs of life. The site looked abandoned, but Joel wouldn’t go running in without being cautious.
“Over there,” Ashley whispered, pointing to Joel’s left. A little further down the road, there was a line of work trucks, some of them designed to carry loads of sand, others designed to haul things around the site. There were so many of them that Joel lost count, but he tried not to let his hopes get the better of him. There was no guarantee any of the trucks would work, even if they managed to find the keys to start any of them, but it was a step in the right direction.
“I bet the keys for all those are in that little office building over there,” Joel said, pointing over the cinder brick toward a building that looked more like a shack than anything else. There were two doors at either end, and a small, metal fan from an engine hung as decoration on the front door.
“I’ll take point, stay close,” Ashley said and crouched down. They crept across the sand, its fine grain muting their footsteps. If there were anyone in the building, they would never have heard Joel and Ashley coming, except for maybe the pounding of Joel’s heart in his chest.
When they reached the front door, Ashley pushed lightly on it, and it creaked open. She froze, waiting to see if any noise or light came from inside, and after a few moments, when nothing happened, she motioned for Joel to follow.
Inside, it wasn’t pitch black, but it was dark enough that Joel couldn’t see his surroundings. He didn’t like that, but there was nothing he could do about it, so he stayed as close to Ashley as possible. She crept around the corner, and Joel followed, and they found themselves in what appeared to be an office room with a single desk. A cabinet full of keys hung on the wall directly behind it—and there was a plate on the surface stacked with half-eaten food.
Joel and Ashley weren’t alone.
Joel’s pulse pounded in his ears. Maybe the occupant had seen them coming or heard them, but either way, it wasn’t likely they didn’t know Joel and Ashley had come inside, especially not after the way the front door had creaked.
He held his breath, listening for something, anything, which might give the other person’s location away, but all he heard was his own heart.
Until gunfire rang out inside the room, and Joel instinctively dropped to the floor, pulling Ashley down along with him.
Another shot rang out, but Joel couldn’t tell where it’d come from as he used his good arm to army crawl back toward the outdoors. There was much more cover there, and it wasn’t as close quarters, so they might be able to take on whoever it was shooting at them.
“I know you’re in here, you thieving mother fuckers!” a man’s voice rang out, making Joel jump. “Show yourselves, and I might think twice about blowing your fucking heads off!”
In his panic, Joel stumbled into the front door, sending it crashing against the exterior of the building. He ripped Ashley out by the hand just as another shot fired, ricocheting off the metal door.
“Go!” Joel shouted, pointing away. Whoever it was shooting at them wasn’t going to back down, wasn’t going to let them leave—but they needed one of the vehicles.
There was only one way to get them, and Joel couldn’t ask Ashley to do it, not again.
“What about—?”
“Just go! I’ll find you,” Joel said, crouching down against the front of the building. The gunman cocked his weapon again, the familiar sound of a sawed-off shotgun ringing in Joel’s ears from inside, and he swallowed back his panic as Ashley dashed across the lot and hid behind a pile of sand.
Footsteps approached, like thunder in Joel’s ears, and he closed his eyes, his teeth bared, as he waited for the gunman to get close enough.
“I’ll kill them both, I swear—” the man ranted but was cut off when Joel’s good fist connected with his gut. He dropped the shotgun, and Joel kicked it away before he jumped on the man, knocking him to the ground.
The man flailed, reaching for Joel’s face as Joel crouched over him and wrapped his hands around the man’s throat. His skin was like leather against Joel’s palms, his eyes wide in rage as Joel applied pressure, cutting off airflow.
A pained sound choked out of the man as he desperately kicked and clawed at Joel’s arms, but Joel kept pushing, using the weight of his body to pin the man and choke the life out of him.
He gagged and whimpered, and the color drained from his face, but still, Joel didn’t let go. Tears burned in Joel’s eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He’d sworn he’d do what it took to survive, and the time had come. It was for Shelby, for Cass, for Nate. He had to get back to them.
The man’s desperate kicking and clawing slowly gave way to the twitching of a brain deprived of oxygen, but still, Joel didn’t let go.
It wasn’t until one last twitch pulsed through the man’s body, and he went limp that Joel released his throat. Panting, choking on nausea, Joel fell to the man’s side and slumped against the wall with his eyes closed to keep his tears from falling.
When he opened them again, he found Ashley standing before him, a hand held over her mouth.
“I had to,” Joel said. “I had to.”
“I know,” Ashley said and stepped over the two of them. She went to the cabinet behind the desk, grabbed every set of keys hanging inside it, and came back to Joel.
“Let’s go,” she said, offering a hand to Joel to help him stand.
Joel took it.
21
Cass couldn’t calm down.
She and Nate had just merged onto the 405 in their stolen car, and except for the numerous abandoned vehicles that littered the freeway and slowed their progress, the drive was uneventful.
Still, Cass couldn’t stop looking over her shoulder, convinced that at any minute one of the cars they passed might roar to life, its headlights blinding as it crashed into them.
The gangsters or junkies or whoever they were couldn’t possibly just let them go. They seemed determined to make Cass pay for what she’d done to their friends, and if they’d come from out of town and tracked her down to her house, what would stop them from following her the rest of the way?
Cass couldn’t believe her eyes as the city passed in a blur. Darkness or fire replaced the lights twinkling in the skyscrapers that ordinarily called to her. What the hell happened while they were holed up in the house? It was like the world had left them behind, marched forward into chaos while Cass lived through her version of hell.
Though Nate had wanted to take the more direct route to the base, which ran right through the heart of the city, Cass had convinced him otherwise. The city center was sure to be overrun, and they didn’t have the energy nor the ammunition to defend themselves if it came to that.
Given everything they’d already been through, an attack was the last thing either of them needed. Cass sent up a silent prayer to whoever was watching over them, keeping them safe and giving them a break, however short it might be.
Still, the silence it provided, and the silence from her brother didn’t give her any distraction. Each time Cass closed her eyes, she heard the gunshots, her mother’s scream, saw the way the body fell to the floor.
She’d shot her mother. It was an accident, a freak accident, but she couldn’t change it. She’d never meant for it to happen, she’d meant to lay waste to the guy holding her mother hostage, and instead, her aim that she once thought was so true had been so false it was unbearable. If she’d only held on, if she’d just waited a few more seconds, it might’ve been a very different situation.
Instead, Cass had been rash and pulled the trigger when it was the worst possible thing she could’ve done, and now she’d have to pay for it for the rest of her life. She wouldn’t blame Nate if he hated her or if he never forgave her because she wasn’t sure she could forgive herself. How could she? Who could live with the guilt of having killed their mother?
Tears poured down her cheeks at the thought,
though she tried to keep her sniffling to herself. Nate hadn’t said a word since they’d agreed on a travel plan and a destination, and she didn’t want to upset him. Surely, he was lost in his thoughts, trying to think of anything but the situation in the basement—and no doubt feeling the same way Cass did.
Still, had it not been for the headlights on the car, they would’ve been enveloped in darkness. Cass wished it would swallow her whole, take her away for what she’d done. It wouldn’t make things right, it wouldn’t bring their mother back, but it would make the grief easier to bear.
But Cass couldn’t afford to give into that grief, not now. She owed it to Nate, and she owed it to their mother to keep going, to push through, to make up for what she’d done.
Cass couldn’t leave Nate alone. She was all he had left in the world now. If Nate lost Cass too, he wouldn’t have the strength to keep going. He’d always been sensitive, in tune with the people around him, taking on their feelings.
At some level, Nate had to understand. That had to be why he’d snapped back to life, rushed Cass out of the house and away from the other attackers, and gotten her into a car on their way to safety.
But was safety anything more than an illusion now? Had it ever been?
There were no rules left, no social structure to keep people in line. There weren’t any more police, at least not any organized force of them, out on the streets and looking for crime. The people who would survive in this world, this horrible new world they found themselves in, would be the people who weren’t afraid to do whatever they had to do to survive.
After Cass had pulled the trigger twice, she'd become one of those people. She had her father to thank for that, for insisting she know how to take care of herself.
From the corner of her eye, the airport swam into view, barely visible thanks to the darkness, but recognizable nonetheless. Cass couldn’t count the number of times she’d been to that airport with Joel, gone to the outlook to watch planes take off and land, wondering how it was possible for two people to pilot such complicated machinery.