Fangs

by Malorie Blackman

  Contents

  Cover

  About the Book

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Spiders are . . . Beautiful

  Spiders are . . . Amazing

  Spiders are . . . Useful

  Spiders are . . . Necessary

  Spiders are . . . Brave

  Fang-tastic Spider Facts!

  About the Author

  Also by Malorie Blackman

  Copyright

  About the Book

  “Hello there! I’m Fangs, the most AMAZING spider in the whole universe!”

  When Nathan sees Fangs in the pet shop, he’s so happy – he’s finally found his perfect pal. But he’s got a BIG problem – Mum HATES spiders!

  Nathan has to make Mum see that Fangs isn’t just creepy and crawly . . . She’s brilliant and brave too!

  For Neil and Lizzy,

  with love as always.

  Spiders are . . . Beautiful

  Tap! Tap! Tap! I didn’t bother to turn round. Tap! Tap! Tap! There it was again. Someone was tapping on the shop window and whoever it was, they obviously weren’t going to go away until they had my full attention. With a sigh, I turned round.

  It was a boy. A boy who blinked a lot.

  He wore round glasses and he had the most serious face I’d ever seen. The boy looked at me. I looked at him. He tapped again very gently on the shop window with his fingernail and smiled – a genuine, friendly, admiring smile. And that’s when I knew! This boy was all right! I beamed back at him, giving him my biggest, cheesiest, fangiest grin.

  Come into the shop, I thought. Please come in and buy me.

  I didn’t want to build up my hopes. Lots of people – men and women, boys and girls – had tapped on the window and waved. Some even smiled. But none of them ever came into the shop to buy me. Mind you, a lot more people had banged on the window and looked at me with horror or disgust. But all those people who didn’t like the way I looked obviously needed glasses. And if they already wore glasses, then they obviously needed stronger glasses. I am without a doubt the most gorgeous spider I know! I am probably the most drop-dead gorgeous spider in the world. What am I saying?! I’m definitely the most drop-dead gorgeous spider in the whole universe!

  But I was also the most fed-up spider in the universe. I was tired of sitting in a tank in the pet shop window. I wanted to live somewhere else. Living in a tank in the pet shop was boring. And, worse than that, it was lonely. I had a long-distant memory of the sun and the sky in another place with hundreds of my family all around me. But now it was just me. And the memory was so distant, I sometimes wondered if it was just a dream. How I longed to live somewhere where I’d see the sun and the sky during the day and the stars and the moon at night.

  But it was no good wishing for something like that. If anyone did buy me, I’d be in a tank indoors and what I’d see above me would be a ceiling. Still, at least it’d be better than an empty fish tank in a pet shop.

  The boy watching me mouthed, “Wait there!” – like I was going anywhere! He straightened up and practically ran into the shop. Obviously my biggest, cheesiest, fangiest smile had worked!

  “How much for the tarantula in the window?” the boy asked.

  “Ten pounds,” said Mrs Bucket, who owned the pet shop.

  The boy’s shoulders slumped. “I’ve only got five.”

  “I could give you two very attractive goldfish for that price,” Mrs Bucket suggested.

  The boy shook his head. “No, I wanted the tarantula.”

  “Why?” Mrs Bucket shook her head and wrinkled up her nose. “It’s so hairy and ugly.”

  What a cheek!

  “Are you kidding? Spiders are beautiful,” said the boy. “And that tarantula is the most beautiful spider I’ve ever seen.”

  This boy obviously had very good taste – and eyes that worked perfectly!

  Mrs Bucket scratched her head thoughtfully. “Well, I’ve had a lot of offers for that spider . . .” – which was a lie! – ‘ . . . but I can tell she’ll have a good home with you, so she’s yours for exactly five pounds.”

  “Really?” The boy started hopping up and down. “She’s really mine? Oh, thank you.” He started digging into his pockets and taking out all kinds of loose change. Soon the counter in front of Mrs Bucket was covered with coins. She didn’t even bother to count them. She swept the coins off the counter into her huge cupped hand and dumped the lot into the till.

  “Help yourself,” she said, pointing in my direction.

  The boy ran over, lifted the lid off the fish tank and scooped me up.

  “Do you know how to look after tarantulas?” Mrs Bucket asked.

  “Yes, I do. I’ve read all about them.”

  And the boy ran out of the shop as if he was afraid that Mrs Bucket would change her mind about selling me off so cheaply.

  “Hi, I’m Nathan,” the boy said once he was safely away from the shop. “Let me see if I can guess your name.”

  “Hello. I’m Fangella,” I told him.

  He looked at me thoughtfully. “Legs?” he pondered.

  “My name is Fangella,” I repeated.

  “Chewy?” Nathan wondered.

  I sighed. Obviously, Nathan couldn’t understand a word I was saying. I don’t know why I was disappointed. I’d never yet met a human who could understand me when I spoke. Why should Nathan be any different?

  “I’ve got it! I’ll call you Fangella – or Fangs for short!”

  I stared at Nathan. I could hardly believe it. Could this human understand me after all? Maybe not directly, but we had to be able to communicate on some level. How else could he have known my name? My name is much too uncommonly wonderful to guess. I could tell this was going to be the start of a beautiful friendship.

  With me resting in one of his hands, Nathan glanced down at his watch. “Oh no! I’m late!” he groaned. Cupping his hands around me, he started running.

  “You’re going to love it at my house, Fangs,” puffed Nathan. “You can sleep under my bed if you like. I’ll keep you in a box with air-holes until I can get a proper home for you.”

  It sounded OK. It wasn’t the stars and the sun and the sky. But it wasn’t the pet shop either.

  “There’s just one problem.”

  Nathan slowed down a bit – thank goodness. “I’m not quite sure how I’m going to get you past my mum. But don’t worry, I’ll come up with something. It’s just that . . . well, Mum’s not too keen on spiders. When she finds them in the bath, they get washed straight down the plug hole and when she finds one on the carpet it goes CRU-UNN-CCHH under her foot.”

  And in that moment I knew that we were in TROUBLE.

  Spiders are . . . Amazing

  “Did you fall out of bed this morning and land on your head or something?” Nathan’s mum asked.

  Nathan and his family were having breakfast, not that Nathan was doing much eating. He turned to his dad for help. His dad took a quick sip of coffee and shook his head. “Don’t look at me, Nathan. You’re on your own with this one,” he said.

  Nathan sighed and turned to his mum to try again. “Please, Mum. Please,” he begged.

  “No! How many more times?” his mum said, exasperated. “Why can’t you ask for a dog or a cat? At least that’s a bit more normal.”

  “Would you let me have a dog or a cat?” Nathan asked.

  “Nope! But at least I could understand you asking for one of those, instead of a . . . a . . .” Nathan’s mum shivered. “Ugh! It makes my skin crawl just to think about it.”

  I wondered if I should crawl up onto the table from where I was hiding, I mean, from where I was sitting on Nathan’s leg. Maybe if his mum saw how beautiful and hairy I was, she’d change her mind.

  “And what about N
adine?” Nathan’s mum asked.

  “What about her?” Nathan leaned across to see the baby sitting in her own special chair at his mum’s side. I lifted two legs to wave to Nadine.

  She cooed (at least that’s what it sounded like!) and waved back. I like babies. And babies seem to like me too.

  “You wouldn’t like a great big spider crawling all over her face, would you?” said Nathan’s mum.

  “Nadine wouldn’t mind,” said Nathan.

  “I would.”

  “But, Mum . . .”

  “Why d’you want one anyway?” Nathan’s other sister, Shelby, interrupted. “All they do is crawl and creep and wriggle about. They’re not even interesting.”

  “Are you kidding? Spiders are amazing. They’re tons more interesting than any dog or cat,” said Nathan, enthusiastically. “D’you know how they eat? They inject their food – like insects and things – with a deadly venom to paralyse them and then they suck out all their juices whilst they’re still alive. Isn’t that great?”

  I looked up at Nathan and shook my head. What a twit! Somehow I didn’t think his mum would admire the way I ate my food – and I was right. A stunned silence filled the kitchen. Nathan looked at the horrified faces of his mum and sister, and the resigned expression on his dad’s face – and realized he’d messed up!

  “Nathan, that’s not the argument I would’ve used to try and persuade your mother.” His dad shook his head. “That’s a teensy bit more information than she needed.”

  “Mum, you’re not going to let him have one, are you?” Shelby pleaded.

  “Not in my lifetime, no,” Nathan’s mum replied.

  “Well, I’d better go before I miss my train.” Nathan’s dad stood up and popped his last piece of toast into his mouth. He kissed Nathan’s mum, and came round the table to kiss Shelby, then Nathan, goodbye. But before he straightened up, he whispered, “Nathan, I’d get rid of that spider on your leg fast if I were you, before your mother sees it.”

  He straightened up and winked at Nathan. After a glance down at his watch, he ran out of the house, calling out, “Bye, everyone! See you all in a few hours.”

  The moment the front door was slammed shut, Nathan’s mum turned to Nathan. “What did your dad just say?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Nathan, you’re not to bring a spider anywhere near this house. D’you understand?”

  “But, Mum, spiders are really—” Nathan began to protest.

  “I don’t want to hear it! I want you to promise you won’t buy a spider of any size, shape or description,” Nathan’s mum insisted.

  “And he’s not even talking about an ordinary spider at that. He wants to buy a great big, hairy scary tarantula,” Shelby sniffed. “I don’t think so!”

  Me? Scary? I am big and hairy, yes, but scary? No way! I am magnificent. I am stunning. Every hair on my body is a joy to behold.

  “Nathan, promise,” his mum ordered.

  I could see that Nathan was doing some fast thinking. “I promise not to go out and buy any spiders,” Nathan said, carefully.

  “Hmm . . .” Nathan’s mum’s eyes narrowed. “And that includes getting one of your friends to buy one for you. I know all your tricks, Nathan. Just make sure you keep your promise.”

  “I will.”

  Nathan nodded. He scooped me up and escaped upstairs.

  “Fangs,” he said, shaking his head. “We have some lightning-fast thinking to do.”

  Spiders are . . . Useful

  “Come on, Fangs, you’ve got to help me. What am I going to do? I don’t want to take you back to the pet shop. I won’t do it. But we have to do something to win Mum over.”

  I scuttled up the bed to sit on Nathan’s pillow. Nathan lay down on his back, and let me crawl up his face to sit on his forehead.

  “What we have to do is convince Mum of how much good you can do,” Nathan decided.

  “I could have this house cleared of all creepy-crawlies in a couple of hours flat,” I told him. “Why don’t you tell your mum that?”

  Nathan lay still, his face as long as rainy fortnight. Suddenly, without warning, he sat bolt upright, his eyes wide. I fell off his face and into his lap. It was lucky I didn’t break one of my eight lovely legs!

  “Watch what you’re doing!” I said, crossly.

  A slow smile crept over Nathan’s face.

  “Fangs, I’m a genius! It’s so simple! Why didn’t I think of it before?” Nathan scooped me up and carefully whirled me around the room until my head was spinning. Placing me gently in his shirt pocket this time, Nathan tiptoed downstairs to the kitchen. Luckily, it was empty.

  “The first thing I have to do is find a large container.”

  I wasn’t sure whether Nathan was talking to me or himself. What did he have in mind? I must admit I couldn’t help feeling just a little anxious. He opened all the cupboards but couldn’t find anything that was suitable.

  He opened the fridge.

  “Eureka!” he beamed. “That’s perfect!”

  I didn’t see what was so perfect about the strawberry jam jar he took out of the fridge. He spooned the tiny bit of jam left in the jar straight into his mouth. Then he washed the jar out in some hot water and went out into the garden.

  “Now for phase two,” Nathan whispered. “This won’t take long.”

  He obviously thought that phase two would only last a few minutes, but half an hour later he was still at it. I began to creep out of his shirt pocket.

  “No, not yet.” Nathan gently pushed me back down. “I’ll tell you when it’s safe to come out.”

  Nathan got back to the task at hand. By now, I’d figured out what he was up to. I tried to tell him it wasn’t a very good idea but this time he really didn’t hear me. I don’t think he wanted to hear me. And the more he put into the jam jar, the more worried I became.

  At long last the jam jar was full. Grinning, Nathan went back into the house. He listened out for sounds of his mum and sisters.

  “It’s OK,” he whispered to me. “They’re all upstairs. Fangs, this is it!”

  He took out the jam jar, unscrewed the lid and tipped its contents over the kitchen floor. All the worms and caterpillars and maggots and beetles and ants and woodlice he’d collected scampered and scurried and scattered in every direction. Nathan grinned as he watched the wave of insects flood out to every corner of the kitchen.

  I looked down at the floor. By now, I knew enough about humans – especially mums – to know that Nathan’s mum wasn’t going to be too thrilled when she saw the state of her kitchen. Still, if I was going to be booted out of the house or tipped down the toilet, I’d make sure I had a full stomach first! I usually liked my food to be a bit bigger but I reckoned that under the circumstances I couldn’t be too choosy. I tried to climb down Nathan’s chest towards all the delicious wriggling treats at his feet.

  “Not yet, Fangs. Mum’s got to see all these creepy-crawlies first.”

  Which was exactly what I was afraid of!

  Mum’s footsteps sounded from above.

  She was coming downstairs, humming to herself.

  “Come on, Fangs. Let’s go back into the garden. We’ve got to pretend that all this is a real surprise.” Avoiding the insects all over the floor, Nathan ran out into the garden, leaving the kitchen door open.

  I couldn’t help thinking that if Nathan’s mum was in for a shock, then Nathan was in for an even bigger one!

  “I can see it all now. Mum’ll walk into the kitchen, see all the creatures on the floor and wish that she’d let me have my spider. Then I’ll produce you from my pocket and set you to work.” Nathan grinned at me. “In no time at all you’ll eat up all the insects in the kitchen. And then Mum’ll see that spiders are useful. She’ll probably give me a hug and call me a clever boy and all that other mum stuff!”

  Nathan wandered around the garden. He was practising the surprised look he’d have on his face when his mum asked him about all the insects and cree
py-crawlies in the kitchen.

  “The suspense is killing me! What’s Mum doing?” said Nathan. “Probably watching telly.”

  But we didn’t have long to wait.

  “ARRRGGGGHHHHH!” Nathan’s mum’s shriek could probably be heard on the moon. “NATHAN! NATHAN, GET IN HERE!”

  “Watch this!” Nathan said, excitedly. “Now all we have to do is act as if the insects all over the kitchen floor are a big surprise to us as well.”

  “NATHAN, COME HERE – NOW.”

  Nathan grinned. “This is it, Fangs. This is your chance to shine.”

  He forced the smile from his face. He didn’t want his mum to know that he knew anything about the state of the kitchen.

  “NATHAN!”

  Nathan walked into the house. He looked at his mum and I looked up at him from his pocket and in that instant I knew Nathan’s plan wasn’t going to work. I crawled slowly up the pocket and peeped out to see what was going on.

  “Mum, what is it? What’s the matter?” Shelby came running in, holding her baby sister, Nadine. Shelby took one look at the kitchen floor, shrieked like a screech owl, and dashed off again.

  Nathan’s mum’s lips were turned in and her cheeks were puffed out and her eyes glared like lasers. The creepy-crawlies were all over the floor and climbing up the cupboard doors. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse – it did! A caterpillar dropped down from the ceiling into Mum’s hair.

  “AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!”

  This time the scream could’ve been heard on Pluto.

  And she went crazy. Absolutely nuts. She danced about, her hands sweeping over her head as she tried to knock the caterpillar out of her hair. Nathan started backing out of the kitchen. Somehow he knew that this was not the moment to produce and introduce me. The caterpillar fell out of Mum’s hair. I’m sure it jumped rather than waiting to be pushed.