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Me & Joan (of Arc)

Page 5

by Karen Sunde

your calf named France. I raise her just one foot off the ground. Hear her? "Maaa," and now smell her. (She puts her face close to Max's) Look in my eyes again. They're true. Not wild. Look. Now, I'll raise France another foot. Hear her? "Maaaaaaa." Smell her? Look, look in these eyes. See? I'm strong as God. And not afraid. Not of anything. So now. Now. I'm putting France across my shoulders. Hear? "Maaaaa." Now you can follow us all the way home. (Beat) Coming, Maxie?

  (Joan is walking away. Tomas and Lili are wrapped in each other's arms, kissing)

  Max: You're asking me?

  Joan: I am. I'll need a very strong body guard.

  (Joan hesitates, looking back at the three)

  Max: I...don't know.

  Joan: Would I have gotten the better of you if God weren't telling me how?

  Max: You didn't get the better of me!

  Joan: (Interrupting him) Maxie. The horse...should be white.

  (Joan smiles, and moves away. The soldiers stand astonished, then, take off after her. Joan will stop, strike a martial pose, and the soldiers will dress her in armor, while…

  (Tomas and Lili are abandoned in their passion. He is sliding Lili's dress off her shoulders, kissing her breast, reaching to unhook her bra. Lili reaches for his collar, undoes it, and begins to lift it off... Then he gasps, alarmed, clutches the collar back to his neck, and pulls away from her)

  Tomas: No...!

  Lili: Tomas...

  (Tomas reaches for Lili again, they entwine, but he again pulls away, while Joan swells with joy, as she takes on the image of a knight)

  Tomas: (Gasping) No. Don't do this to me. No!

  Lili: (Reaching for Tomas, breathless, flushed) Tomas...! Aaaauuuuh...

  (Desire flashing into rage, Lili reaches for a broadsword, and with an anguished roar, hoists it above her head with both hands, threatening Tomas)

  Lili: Leave! You can't help me! Get out of here!!

  (Joan, stepping out to preen herself, broadsword in hand, turns and sees Lili roaring. Tomas shields his head in shame, twists away, and runs off)

  Joan: (Startled) What happened to you?

  (Lili swings around, stunned, and stares at Joan. Shaken, she can't speak, but holds the sword, expecting attack, between herself and Joan)

  Lili: I…I don't...

  Joan: Who were you with?

  Lili: (Stares at Joan, caught) The priest.

  Joan: What!

  Lili: Tomas. The priest. He...

  Joan: (Angry) Get out of here. Do you think I'm an idiot?. You think I don't know anything?

  Lili: You don't.

  Joan: (Threatening with flat of her sword) Move. Now! I don't want you near my soldiers.

  Lili: (Stunned) What?!

  Joan: You're a slut. Get out of here!

  Lili: (Hurt, furious) How about you! You're getting off on this stuff!

  Joan: What?

  Lili: (Squaring off, threatening Joan with the sword) It excites you. Dressing up. Leading soldiers.

  Joan: (Strikes at Lili) You dare!

  Lili: (Parrying her strike, they lock) It excites you, Miss Priss! And you're a cock tease!

  (Angrier still, Joan strikes wildly as she speaks, and Lili dodges)

  Joan: Shut your filthy mouth! My people are dying – by massacre, starvation, despair!

  Lili: (Mocking) So you're going out to kill!

  (Joan startled, catches her breath)

  Joan: I'm going to lead soldiers, not kill.

  Lili: (Smiles, then, a low growl) They're going to eat you alive.

  Joan: What are you trying to do?

  (Instead of answering, Lili comes back with a strike. Joan fends off, trying to stop the fight, but Lili keeps hitting at her, while Joan stands like a stone)

  Lili: You stood up in that niche so pure, so almighty sure of yourself... You can't do it! You think those soldiers'll follow a priss?

  (Joan's battle yell at Lili)

  Lili: Why should they trust you with their lives?!

  (Her pride finally fired, Joan raises her sword at Lili)

  Joan: (Striking with fury) It's God they have to trust!

  (Lili parries, almost losing balance, then attacks. Joan struggles, has an animal's quick sense, but often leaves herself awkwardly vulnerable)

  Lili: (Speaking as they fight) Stop me. You can't even fight! Put that blade between mine and your flesh. Faster. You don't know how to live! Watch my eyes. Not my weapon. Watch! They think you're magic; they'll do anything to kill you.

  Joan: (Clearly afraid, dodging) I'm not afraid!

  (The fight builds, Joan begins to get it, has swift animal instinct, is exhilarated, out-fencing Lili now)

  Joan: You think you're smart?

  Lili: Damn straight! I work my tail off. I'm the best at whatever I do.

  Joan: But you never win.

  (Lili stumbles, shocked at the truth, stands frozen, glaring at Joan)

  Lili: (Speechless) I…

  Joan: (Crosses, takes Lili's sword from her roughly) Heart makes a hero. You don't believe...in you.

  (Lili stands utterly lost, silent, as Joan walks away, then Lili suddenly rears high, convulsing her pain into a battle shriek, and strikes Joan from behind with both fists on her back. Joan sprawls face forward)

  Joan: (Upset, roaring) That's not fair!!

  Lili: (Roaring back) War isn't fair, buddy! You've gotta KILL people!

  (Joan rolls, and the fight is on again, until Joan kick-trips Lili, and quickly raises the broadsword high over Lili for the death blow. But she hesitates)

  Lili: I thought you were tough as nails.

  Joan: (Anguished) I am! I just...don't want to kill anybody.

  (Joan's suddenly lowers her sword, and staggers away, sinks to her knees. Lili follows, bends to cradle a weeping Joan)

  Lili: I know...I know...

  Joan: How could God want me to do that?

  Lili: (In tears herself) Listen...lots of soldiers feel that way. We forget. We want to believe there's some of us...who can't kill people.

  Joan: (Shaky, trying to pull herself together) I need to pray. I'll be strong.

  Lili: (Frightened herself) Sure.

  Joan: (Kneeling to pray) Blessed St Margaret, St Catherine...

  Lili: (Unable to restrain her anxiety, interrupts) Will your "voices" come?

  Joan: (Trying to pray) I don't know.

  Lili: Do you really really need them?

  (Joan won't answer)

  Lili: You know, there's some doubt about these...voices of yours.

  Joan: Doubt?

  Lili: How do you know who they are?

  Joan: By their lives.

  (Like sun coming out, Catherine appears before Joan, in the audience)

  Joan: (Seeing Catherine) Ooooh...

  (Joan's sub-text: Catherine to her: “There is a special sword for you. Do you understand?”)

  Joan: (With joy) Yes.

  Lili: (Aware she’s missing something) What? What is it?

  (Joan’s sub-text: Catherine saying “Send soldiers to find it. It’s hidden under the altar”)

  Joan: I will! (Watching Catherine disappear) Thank you.

  Lili: What's happening?

  (Maxie, Pierre and Antoine enter, their heads dipping respectfully)

  Max: Joan...?

  Joan: (Startled to see him) Oh, Maxie!

  Max: Excusing us, please, but you wanted us?

  Joan: (Amazed, realizing Catherine must have sent him) Yes! I do. (She hands Max her broadsword) Take this away. I won't use it anymore. Then – go into the church.

  Max: Yes.

  Joan: You'll do as I say?

  Max: Exact as you say it, Joan.

  Joan: Saint Catherine told me, you're to look under the altar.

  Max: I'll do it.

  Joan: You might have to dig.

/>   Max: We're ready.

  Joan: You'll find a sword...that's meant for me.

  Max: We'll find it. I promise you.

  Joan: I'll wait here.

  (Soldiers leave, and Joan anxiously watches after them. Lili, feeling the tension)

  Lili: So who is she?

  (Joan looks back to Lili, smiles, and drops to her knees, praying)

  Joan: Oh...blessed Saint Catherine...

  Lili: Yeah, her. What was her life?

  Joan: (Caught off-guard, Joan laughs happily) Oh, terrible...terrible.

  Lili: (Wary) Uh huh.

  Joan: When she scolded Maximilius for his tyranny, he sent fifty wise men to reason with her, but she converted them all. Enraged, Maximilius burned them, every one. But Catherine's great beauty had infected him, and he offered to make her his queen. When she refused, he threw her in the dungeon, where she was beaten. But from her cell, Catherine converted all the officers, their wives, and 200 soldiers! So Maximilius ordered them all slain, and Catherine was sentenced to death on a spiked wheel.

  Lili: Uh huh. So then, she's dead at last.

  Joan: Oh no. She was lashed down, he gave the order to spin the wheel, but as the slaves pulled the great levers, Catherine's bonds sprung open and the wheel smashed to pieces, its spikes flying off, killing many who watched.

  Lili: Uh huh. So what did Maximilius say then?

  Joan: He had her beheaded.

  Lili: And that took?

  Joan: Yes. So she's a martyr.

  Lili: As well as a virgin.

  Joan: Yes.

  Lili: A virgin-martyr. So she died.

  Joan: Yes, except...

  Lili: Except what.

  Joan: When they cut off her head...

  Lili: Yes...?

  Joan: Instead of blood, it flowed milk.

  Lili: (Pause) And you believe that.

  Joan: Of course.

  Lili: She was...one stubborn lady.

  Joan: And very smart.

  Lili: Oh, yeah.

  Joan: To convert all those wise men.

  Lili: What about...the other?

  Joan: Margaret?

  Lili: Yes, Margaret.

  Joan: She became Christian and lived as a shepherdess.

  Lili: Like you?

  Joan: Olybrius saw her beauty, and offered to marry her – if she was free – or to make her his mistress if she was a slave.

  Lili: But she refused.

  Joan: Of course.

  Lili: So he took revenge.

  Joan: He tortured and imprisoned her. Then the devil came as a dragon and swallowed her, but the cross she wore around her neck irritated his stomach...

  Lili: And he belched her out whole.

  Joan: That's right. Then they tried to kill her with fire and with water.

  Lili: But it didn't do the trick.

  Joan: And the thousands watching all became Christians.

  Lili: And all were killed.

  Joan: Yes.

  Lili: But they finally did her in. So she could be a virgin-martyr.

  Joan: They cut off her head.

  Lili: Uh huh.

  Joan: But the executioner fell dead right after.

  Lili: That's not so bad.

  Joan: No. It was his reward. To join her in heaven. Because he'd been unwilling to kill her.

  Lili: Uh...I don't want to upset you, Joan...

  Joan: You can't. Now that I remember them, I know I can do anything.

  Lili: ...but they're both just stories.

  Joan: Catherine and Margaret?

  Lili: They didn't actually exist.

  Joan: (Smiling, incredulous) Then how could they speak to me?

  Lili: Exactly.

  (Joan's smile fades. The soldiers reappear, carrying something, moving hesitantly, respectfully)

  Max: Joan... I don't know. It's covered with rust, but... (He breaks off, awestruck)

  Joan: (Bright smile again, to Lili) You may judge Catherine's existence by whether she's advised me true.

  (The soldiers kneel, presenting what they carry. Joan takes it up, and the rust falls away. She lifts a glittering-bright, many-facetted sword. Lili, mouth-dropped open, sinks involuntarily to her knees)

  Joan: My friends. This sword has come to us from God. It is his sign. That we are right. and we shall win. But be not over-awed. And let your hearts beat softly in its light. He means to show, however small you are, however weak, when you will find his light, and stand within, your power will grow and blend with his.

  So smile with me. We cannot fail. I stand before you, no more than a girl. But our country's pain moved me to cry to God, and God has sent this sword. And you will follow me. Each knowing I was nothing, as all, however mighty, are as nothing. But one as small as me, who with an open heart sees evil, and cries "No. This must not be!" can make it so. For all God needs to battle evil is one who loves enough to feel his power, and stand up

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