by L.A.A. Law
Chapter Twenty – My Parents’ Arrival At Sanctuary
The next few weeks go along smoothly. The St. Clouds meet nightly trying to construct a factual synopsis regarding information that they have collected over the centuries, hoping it may reveal unrealized clues. After a few hours, Andrew and I go back to the suite and snuggle while I sleep, it’s romantic, but never goes too far and I can tell he still broods and worries when he thinks too much about what we are doing. Although I am thankful no shared visions have appeared I’m also a little disappointed. If I wasn’t so worried about his reaction, at least I could have him in my dreams.
Then comes the night I have been dreading. Startled awake by a midnight phone call, tears stream down my cheek before I hear my father’s deadened voice informing me that my mother has become worse and forced him to call.
Andrew already has his cell and I hear him making travel arrangements which I convey to my father who practically hangs up on me when I ask if I can do anything else. Andrew takes the phone from my shaking hands, enfolding me in his embrace. When it becomes apparent that I cannot go back to sleep, he turns on the television, but mutes the volume. As he makes additional calls, I stare at the screen. As the program changes from the exploration of Mars to a story on Satan vs. God, I reach over to increase the sound. Andrew looks disapprovingly at me. It’s strange listening to how different religions interpret the meanings of good and evil and such a war, while I sit next to a direct creation of it.
Despite Andrew’s objections, I conduct rounds and work until he comes to tell me that they have arrived.
My mother looks as if she’s aged twenty years, her face gaunt and frame frail. Her eyes strain to stay open. I lean down to kiss her. “Mom, I’m here. I love you.”
“I love you too.” She responds weakly.
My father looks haggard, “Dad, why didn’t you call me to come up when she started failing?”
His tone is solemn. “I didn’t want her coming here to a place where people have no hope.”
Thankfully my mother fell back to sleep.
“Dad, please, she wanted to come and it will be good for both of you. Maybe you could…”
“I’m not dying! I’m only here for her.” He growls before following the attendants.
Placing his arm around me, Andrew whispers. “Don’t take it personally. He is lashing out. He is not ready to let go.”
They settle my mother in the room next to Katrina’s and I stay with her until my father returns from grabbing a bite to eat with Gabriel. It’s touching to see how gentle and loving he is with her and I go and check on the twins, hoping to bring them back ultrasound pictures to bring some color into each of their cheeks.
Entering Katrina’s room, the obstetrician and Jackson are there. “Try it now.” Nicholas pops up from behind the ultrasound and I gasp unable to contain the horror at how close he is to the twins. His features turn panicked as his eyes lock on mine.
Jackson interjects breaking my trance. “He’s here helping us, he’s better than Catherine when it comes to clearing images.”
I turn my gaze back to Nicholas, “I’m sorry, it was an involuntary reflex.”
His features calm. “Considering what I did and what you know about me, I wouldn’t expect any less, but really all I touched is the machinery.”
The obstetrician interjects. “Come and see. He cleared up the image wonderfully.” I am happy to learn they have grown and the obstetrician expects to take them in a few weeks. Silently I hope that my mother will be here to hold them once before joining my sister as an onlooker.
My mother is excited to see the pictures and loves that I am going to use the names Katrina picked. Despite her ashen complexion, her face lights up when I tell her Kayla’s middle name will be hers.
Hoping to increase her strength, “Mom, what would you like to eat, we have the best cook here. Would you believe he is even teaching me how to cook?”
She laughs.
“He is very good Ann. He gave me some lobster bisque and stuffed sole which was excellent. Why he wastes his talents here is beyond me.” He shakes his head.
Annoyed, “Dad, he’s not just a cook, he is a medical researcher and owns this institution. He cooks to bring people happiness.”
As if he was listening, Gabriel opens the door and places a bowl of bisque before her. Eyeing it nervously, she explains about her inability to really eat in the other hospitals. Gabriel assures her she can eat his soup and even makes her laugh commenting how all doubters must kiss the cook when finished. To everyone’s surprise she finishes it all. We talk until she becomes tired. Kissing her good-bye, she whispers to settle my father before finishing work.
Tenderly he kisses her and then reluctantly follows me into the hallway. His features turn contentious. “You don’t have to put yourself out on my account. I can stay on the couch in her room.”
Before I can respond, Andrew is at my side. His voice is calm but authoritative. “Dr. Angelis, I understand that you are upset but I cannot allow my patient to endure any further strain from the unpleasantness you desire to express toward your daughter. I understand it’s frustrating, being able to save so many while not be able to save the one closest to you, but as Mia’s boss and friend, I need you to refrain from taking out your frustrations on her.” An edge enters his voice and he pauses. “You have been through an extremely difficult ordeal, first with Katrina and now Ann, but Mia did not cause your wife’s condition and she is also suffering. If you need to vent, I am here and would be more than happy to be your sounding board or even your sparring partner, but please do not berate your daughter. She is only trying to help. Now, please follow me, we have a beautiful room next to your wife. There is even a connecting door.”
As he shows my father the room, he points out the comfortable clothing they secured, the latest research magazines and all of their contact numbers before slipping out leaving us alone.
“Dad, can I get you anything?”
“No, your boss is very efficient. I hope you’re learning something from him, since I was never able to teach you anything.”
“Dad that’s not true. You taught me a lot. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. I know I didn’t turn out the way you wanted and I’m sorry, but I am doing good here. So let us help you.”
“Mia, if you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone now.”
In the hallway, I lean against the wall closing my eyes.
“Are you alright?” A quiet voice surprises me.
I open my eyes. “I’m fine Nicholas, just some old demons coming home to roost.”
He laughs. “I know it’s not funny, but if anyone knows about old demons, it’s me. Can I give you a little advice?” His tone turns serious.
“Sure, why not.”
“Don’t let the demons fill your eyes and become the only picture you see, once you do that, they’ve won and you’re blinded from every other possibility. Trust me, I know, being a reformed demon myself.” He chuckles. “I can tell from your conversations you two don’t get along because of your choices and his stubbornness, but don’t give up on him, he is going to need you and it will be very tough to remove the demons from his eyes, he’s been holding on to them for far too long. Just remember what you told me that a family working together is much stronger. I have to get back, but I’ll tell Andrew you’re looking for him.”
“No, he doesn’t need to babysit me. I’m just going to sit with my mother.”
“I’ll see you later.”
“Nicholas, I’m sorry again for my reaction in Katrina’s room.”
“Mia, you saved me, but I don’t expect you to forget the part of me that I’m trying to change.” He smiles shyly.
My mother is sleeping and I sit on the couch laying my head against the wall, closing my eyes. I didn’t hear the door open but the cool touch sending an electric shock to my heart is comforting and I am greeted by Andrew’s blindingly beautiful smile.
“He’s going through a lot.” I snuggle into his cool chest, happy he is wearing my favorite pullover.
“I’m here for you. We all are. Don’t let him undermine how far you have come. You worked very hard to get here, already dealt with so much and have much more coming. I don’t want you to feel you’re alone.” He kisses me tenderly. My heart reacts as if I am on the speedway of the Indiana 500. I barely hear my mother’s voice.
“He’s right.”
Springing up, I go over to her. “I’m sorry we woke you.”
“You didn’t. Sometimes I close my eyes and just listen. He’s a good man and he’s right. I’m so sorry we let blinders hurt you instead of supporting you.”
“Mom if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be here right now! I’m fine and we are good.”
She stares at me, looks to him and beckons me closer. “I think you are fine now. Mia, he loves you, fight for him! You are good for each other. He is the ying to your yang. It’s not good for either of you when you try to exist without the other. Trust me, I have some new inside information that I didn’t have before.” She chuckles softly.
My father walks in, so I kiss my mother and leave.
Andrew and I walk back to the residency. “I know how much you appreciate a hot shower, so why don’t you enjoy that hot water, while I use the water in the kitchen to make you some tea and something to eat.” He says before disappearing.
When I get out, my favorite sweats are waiting. He is spoiling me.
“I heard what your mother said” He states nonchalantly as I sit beside him.
“I figured you did. You know mothers can see what they hope, even when it’s not there.” I say hoping he is not upset.
“Mia, I’m not upset.” His words surprise me. “She’s right. You are my better half and I do feel lost when you’re not around!” My pulse races as his soft, cloudless blue eyes meet mine. “I have been granted the most celestial of gifts in being able to spend time with you. You are unique, so don’t ever let anyone make you feel otherwise.” He leans forward and kisses me softly.
I want to kiss him too, but instead, take his strong hands, kissing them tenderly. “Thank you. I couldn’t face this without you!”
Rising from the couch, I go to clean the dishes. I need a moment. No matter how brief his kisses, my head always spins. When I come back, he isn’t there. Figuring he got beeped, I head toward my bedroom to get the computer and am shocked to see him sitting on the bed. He raises his arms as an invitation. I want to jump in bed, curl into his side, kiss his perfect lips and run my fingers over his sculpted abdomen and muscular arms all night. I immediately slap my imagination, halting my steamy thoughts, fearing they may lead to another erotic shared thought experience. I stand there, stock still, staring at him.
He sits up, his hand gesturing me forward. “It’s alright. I won’t have you miss out on being comfortable and another night’s sleep because you’re worried that my thoughts may go astray and that I’ll be brooding in the morning.” He laughs and I hear him mutter. “They are quite some thoughts though.” I can’t believe he thinks he is the one causing them when I’m sure it is my erratic and erotic thoughts gone wild that we share. I laugh. “Mia, I don’t think it will happen again. You were right and they were just errant thoughts, although how we shared them, I’m unsure, but I know how to avoid it now.” He holds up some files. Does he really think reading those will stop them? The angel on my shoulder reappears. Be careful, we’re probably not wrong. Just then, the devilish one appears. He wants to spend time with you, why would you turn him down. He interrupts my internal argument. “Come on, I promise I won’t bite.” He laughs.
Knowing what I’m going to do, my little angel is shaking her head, but I ignore her. “Maybe it’s my turn to give you something to drink.” I step closer. “I probably have extra to spare, if you’re hungry.” I swing my hair to one side, exposing my neck as I move forward.
“That was a little over the top, don’t you think?” He chuckles.
“Sorry, I’m a little rusty. I’ll do better next time.”
“Come here.” He pulls my hand. I fall into bed next to him and curl into his side as he places the covers over me and tightens his arms around me.
“How can you read like this?” I tease.
“I have all night to read.” As I look up at him, something changes, his eyes darken, his porcelain lips brush my cheek and move along my jaw as his fingertips glide up and down my arm gently sending tingling sensations throughout my body. His lips kiss the nape of my neck, my heart nearly stops. Desire consumes me and I feel my hands moving up his strong, muscular arms, across his broad shoulders, up his silken neck to his perfectly chiseled face, pulling his face toward mine. My rational side argues with me not to do this, screaming for me to stop before it’s too late, but my devilish, hormone driven side, wins out and I kiss him. The forest surrounding us engulfs me and someone has lit a match. I can feel him shift away from me, allowing some space between us. Our eyes lock, he appears calmer now, but there is something else, distraction, confusion. I’m not quite sure, maybe he is caught off guard by his own actions too. His eyes are back to their beautiful crystal blue, yet underneath their steely gaze lay a passion and desire which mimics my own. Neither of us seems willing to break the connection. I am lost in his eyes, but for how long. I’m grateful that at least we are here and my thoughts seem to be my own. He finally breaks our silent cocoon. “Maybe you should sleep and I should read, before I lose my concentration. You’re just too beautiful to resist.” He kisses me on my head, gently.
I laugh.
“What’s so funny?” He sounds amused and bemused.
“No one has ever referred to me that way and it is you who are too beautiful to resist, not me.”
“Mia, if you could only see the woman I see. You are so beautiful on the inside and out, you’re intelligent, caring and wonderful. The bright aura surrounding you reflects how very special you are. Never have I come across anyone that even remotely compares to you. I know you don’t believe that because you have always allowed those with blinders on to define you. Trust me your aura is quite unique.”
How can he think that I’m beautiful or unique? He is a Da Vinci masterpiece, while I am a child’s watercolor paint by number gone terribly awry. Maybe he has been up here too long and alone too much. Even Gabriel experienced love. Maybe in his isolation, he has become delusional, if so, I can only hope he never gets help.
“Thank you for trying to make me feel good about myself, but you should know that I have no delusions about my personality or looks. At best my personality is somber and my looks are mediocre, but that has never bothered me.”
He shakes his head and seems exasperated. “Mia, trust me, I have encountered attractive women and even some with wonderful souls, but none of them have ever compared to you!”
“Did you ever become involved with any?” I inquire, a little afraid of the answer.
He shakes his head. “Mia, I was unstable. When we fought, everything Nicholas did affected me. I never wanted to drag anyone into our existence. I don’t want to drag you into our existence. If I was thinking clearly, I would force myself to behave, to keep my distance, but you mesmerize me body and soul! My longing and desire to be near you, to spend time with you clouds my perceptions and I have yet to find the strength to compel you to move on without me.” His voice is soft, but I can hear his self-loathing in what he sees as a weakness in himself.
I sigh and decide to distract his thoughts away from us. “I know you said when Nicholas did something bad you felt weaker, but there seems to be more?”
“There was more.” He hesitates.
He lived several lifetimes which I know nothing about, but I want to know him better. “Would you tell me?”
He sighs and then shakes his head making me think he won’t tell
me, but as I stare at him, my eyes pleading, willing him to tell me, he mutters. “When we were first changed, anytime Nicholas killed, I felt his spiked adrenaline as he took a life. I felt as if I was there, experiencing the killing, participating in the carnage. It became unbearable and I began fighting against his every feeling! After about one hundred years, I learned how to shut out the feelings, however, when we really began going against each other, my fighting his constant barrage of feelings weakened me to where I couldn’t function, so I had to let them course through me and I was sure that he was doing the same. One day, I felt something else from him, pure joy, that I had never experienced myself. I didn’t know what caused it until I noticed someone new, during one of our encounters. The way he looked at her, I knew he had fallen in love, but the darkness surrounding her was darker than I had ever seen. We were in Salem during the witch trials. He tried to protect her from them and us. One day, he left her behind to keep her safe from our confrontation, but they got to her burning her at the stake and sending the demon back to hell. The pain and suffering Nicholas experienced was crippling. He wanted to destroy himself, but I couldn’t allow that so I had to weaken him and did! In fact that is the first time, everyone realized how dangerous our fighting each other was and worried we’d cause our own demise. Our division was not solving anything and would result in our suffering unending torture. The war that created us should have taught us that and we knew our destiny was tied together. After that though, he and I worked on being able to shut out the other’s actions and feelings.”
“Is that why you didn’t know what happened to him?”
“I hadn’t been impaired by his actions or he by mine since we came here. It became more of a bothersome memory that could sometimes be ignored.” He glances at the clock. “I brought you here to rest, not keep you up with demonic stories.” He chuckles, but his features tell me he regrets talking to me about this.
I sit up. “I want you to talk to me always. You are there for me and have been, even when I was unaware of it. Sleep is highly overrated.” I smile. “Closeness, feeling that you can share things is rare. I spent the first part of my life not being able to share my hopes and most of the time my confusion, I don’t want to do that here, not with you! I want us to be able to talk always. You are important to me. I want to know about your life before I knew you, the good and the bad.”
I shift to my knees, grasping his hands. “I know that you feel as if you’re tied to a table, forced to watch as a pendulum swings over your head, getting lower and closer to ending your existence and that of anyone you get involved with, plummeting all into the abyss of unending torture, but I can see beyond the blade and know that you will figure out how to dismount that pendulum before it strikes! I have that much faith in you!” I kiss his hands.
He turns tense. “What if your faith is misplaced and I can’t solve this? What if everyone suffers, including those we become involved with? What if I’m placing you in such danger that you suffer…”
I remove my hand and cover his mouth. “Andrew, stop. Life is filled with uncertainties, you know this. Look at how many lifetimes you lived, did you ever envision such a thing? Nothing is guaranteed and you don’t know what is going to happen, you only know what you have been told.” Skimming his chin, neck and clavicle, I lift the pendant from underneath his shirt. “You know what you believe this means, but look at how far you have come. You believe your soul is trapped here.” I open my fist so he can see it. “Isn’t your soul your moral compass, your conscious? Considering how far your family has come, the conscience you all developed, the good you accomplished, doesn’t that show you that you are stronger than any prison he tries to impose? You did not turn into savages when he ripped away your moral compass and trapped it here! I honestly believe that no abyss can hold you. You speak of my light, but your light cannot be contained. You have to realize that!” I can feel my grip tightening with each word of my impassioned plea. “The only power that he has over you is the power you allow him to have. Maybe the real prison isn’t this at all, but the credit you give him, the control you allow him to have over your life, and the life and love that you have let him steal from you because you fear what might happen! This may be touchy, but does anyone really know what happened to Martina’s soul or is it just supposition?”
He appears deep in thought. “We don’t know for sure, we thought it would have stayed trapped and all our fates would be decided after the time ran out, but then she was gone.” “Andrew, I don’t claim to be any type of ecclesiastical scholar, but I remember that the basic concept seems to hold true no matter how much people try to complicate it. You say we have free will and how we act decides our afterlives. Your free will is impeded by the obstacles which have been thrust upon you. Despite that, you still do good work. I cannot believe that wouldn’t count for something! I’m not saying that your soul is not held here or that the solution to the impending problem wouldn’t free your mother’s soul. All I’m saying is that I believe that the good your family has accomplished will be rewarded! You have been thrust into this surreal journey, but with each step, with each accomplishment, you’re striving to do good will yield a solution. Good always triumphs over evil and I have not met any family who strives the way your family has, despite your beliefs that it is all for not! Most would have given up, but not you, and frankly you are the one who believes the strongest that it is all for not, yet you struggle every day to bring others peace before they move on.” Staring into his amazing eyes, I know he is listening.
“Before I get off my soap box, I want you to know that I’m not just saying this so that you will consider moving forward with me or won’t hesitate when we kiss, always thinking about ways to occupy your mind so that I am not planted in your heart.” I take in a deep breath to ensure my voice reflects my convictions. “I believe what I am saying, to my very core! You will prevail, whether you allow me to move forward with you or not.”
He shifts himself so that he is stretched out over me as if doing a push up, before I register his movement. The face that was so deep in thought now appears full of mischief. “So I hesitate when we kiss.” He flexes his arms so that he is leaning down toward me, coming closer. My adrenaline spikes sending overheated blood coursing through my veins and a lightning bolt to my heart. Raising my hands, I wrap them around his neck. He kisses me tenderly and then straightens his arms so that his perfect body is again lingering over mine without contact. Keeping my hands around his neck, I try to pull him toward me. His strong arms hold him upright, I can’t make him budge. He chuckles slightly.
“Are you sure I hesitate?” He says playfully.
My heart is pounding so loudly I can barely hear him. I nod my head.
Coming back down toward me, his cool lips caress my neck. His body stays suspended over me, close, but never quite touching mine. As his lips move to mine, kissing them softly, I try pulling him closer, but his iron arms do not move a millimeter. He rolls over and I am once again snuggled into his side. My chest rises rapidly as I gasp for air. Looking up, his glorious face is beaming, his perfect lips align in a triumphant smile, but his breathing is elevated.
“Would you like to rethink your thoughts about my hesitation?” He laughs.
“That depends.”
“On what?” He asks curiously.
“If I still say that you hesitate, will you kiss me like that again?” I smile.
“I think you should try to sleep, you know how crabby you get when you haven’t had enough.” He teases.
“I think you’re trying to distract me.” I reply disgruntled and can see my tone doesn’t go unnoticed.
“I am, but you should get some sleep.” He leans down brushing his lips across mine briefly. “Now sleep, I’ll see you in a few hours.” He picks up a file. As my speeding heart finally slows, I notice he hasn’t turned even one page and hope that doesn’t mean I’ll be waking up to one overanxious man in the morning.