His boy! If only Sammy was his son, how much easier it would all be!
She stretched her mouth into the vestige of a smile. ‘Dr Frentalle says he can go home tomorrow.’
‘But that is wonderful.’ He returned her smile.
‘Why don’t you take Anna out for a meal?’ Jenny addressed Lucio. ‘I can sit with Sammy for a couple of hours.’
‘I don’t think—’ Anna began.
‘Thank you, Jenny.’ Lucio smiled. ‘We won’t be long, an hour and a half at the most.’
‘But I—’ Anna tried again.
‘Let’s go before Sammy wakes up.’ He took her arm in an unmistakably firm hold.
Anna waited until they were well past the nurses’ station before venting her spleen. She tugged herself out of his hold and threw an arctic look his way. ‘I do not want to have dinner with you.’
‘You need to eat,’ he replied with implacable calm. ‘So you might as well do so with me. After all, we’ll be sharing a breakfast and dinner table for the next few years. You might as well get used to it straight away.’
‘I will never get used to it. I don’t even want to marry you.’
‘You were quite keen on the idea four years ago.’
‘You’re not the same man, Lucio.’
‘True, but then you are not the woman I thought I was marrying either. At least this time around I know what I’m getting.’
‘You’re getting nothing because I don’t want to marry you.’
‘You will marry me, Anna, or live with the consequences.’
‘Are you threatening me?’ She glared up at him.
He met her fiery look with equanimity. ‘No, just reminding you of a few pertinent facts.’
‘The first being you’re the one in control?’
‘That is, of course, a given. Do you think I would allow you to ride roughshod over me again? I am not so foolish. I will have you on my terms for as long as I want and there is nothing you can do to stop me.’
‘Isn’t this taking revenge a little too far? Marrying a woman you hate?’
‘Do you know something, Anna?’ He gave her a penetrating look. ‘I would rather marry you in hatred than live without you in love.’
She stared at him for endless moments as her brain tried to make sense of his words.
‘I don’t care what you feel for me; it’s quite immaterial to me. I want you, simple as that,’ he continued. ‘You will be my wife and Sammy, for all intents and purposes, will be known as my son. I will treat him no differently from any other children we have.’
‘Children?’ Her mouth dropped open. ‘You want to have children?’
‘But of course.’
‘But I—’
‘Not at first,’ he said, interrupting her. ‘It’s understandable you’d want some time to adjust.’
‘I’d need a lifetime!’
‘Sammy’s needs are paramount just now. We can wait a while before we bring another child into the equation.’
‘How very considerate of you.’ Her tone dripped with sarcasm.
‘What is it you are finding so distasteful, Anna? You had a child with my brother so having one or two with me shouldn’t be all that difficult.’
‘You’re so clinical about this!’ she said.
‘I don’t want to cloud the issue of our relationship with a pretence of feeling that just isn’t there any more.’
Her heart sank at his words. His feelings weren’t there any more, simple as that. He felt nothing for her now—nothing but hatred.
‘We will marry next week and when Sammy has permission to fly we shall go to Rome. My family will want to welcome you formally.’
‘I don’t want to go to Rome.’
He didn’t speak as he led the way out to his car but Anna could tell he was angry with her by the way his mouth had tightened into a thin white line. He unlocked the car and held her door for her but his eyes avoided hers as if he couldn’t bear to even look at her.
‘I don’t want to go to Rome,’ she repeated once he was in the car as well.
‘I heard you the first time.’ His tone was clipped as he backed out of the space.
‘My home is in Australia,’ she insisted. ‘Jenny has uni and—’
‘I did not ask you to emigrate.’ He thrust the car into gear with barely controlled savagery. ‘I simply told you we would be making a visit to Rome.’
‘But your home is in Italy,’ she said, suddenly confused. ‘You said you were only going to be here for three months, so I assumed you meant—’
‘I will be travelling back and forth to Italy for the next year or so,’ he informed her. ‘When it is convenient, you and Sammy, and even Jenny if her vacations allow, will accompany me.’
‘So I’m to be a part-time wife?’ She chanced a glance in his direction.
His eyes met hers briefly before he turned back to the traffic. ‘Surely you didn’t expect to be appointed full-time, did you?’
She had no answer to that. What had she been expecting? A promise of long-term commitment and happy ever after? She bit her lip and shifted her gaze, not trusting herself to look his way without betraying how fragile her emotions were.
‘What do you fancy to eat?’ he asked into the heavy silence.
‘I’m not hungry.’
She heard his indrawn breath and the sound of his fingers drumming on the steering wheel.
‘You don’t give an inch, do you?’ he asked. ‘You persist in fighting me at every turn.’
‘Why wouldn’t I fight you?’ She glared back at him. ‘You’re treating me like a piece on the chess board, shifting me where you like with no thought to what I might like.’
‘All right.’ His jaw tightened. ‘What do you want?’
‘I…’ What did she want? How could she tell him?
‘Tell me what would make you happy,’ he said.
‘Happy?’ She tilted her head in a gesture of thinking. ‘Oh yes, I remember now—happy…that emotion one feels once in a lifetime if one is extremely lucky.’
‘Sarcasm is not your strong point.’
‘Well, charm is definitely not one of yours.’
‘I’m trying to do my level best to sort out the mess of our lives,’ he ground out. ‘I didn’t have to help you with Sammy, you know. He is really nothing to do with me—nothing.’
‘What do you want?’ Her voice rose shrilly. ‘Do you want a medal for what you did? So, you paid for a little kid’s health care. So what? What else do you want me to do? Isn’t it enough that I’ve slept with you and agreed to live with you for three months? What else do you want?’
His eyes met the dark fury in hers. ‘What I want was destroyed four years ago.’
She blinked back the sting of bitter tears. ‘I wish for once you wouldn’t keep mentioning the past.’
‘Why? Does it make you feel guilty? Is that why you hate me reminding you?’
She turned away with a choked sob. ‘I just hate it, that’s all. I just hate it.’
‘Yes, well, I hate it too, but it won’t go away. It’s there between us, Anna, and unless we face it we will continue to trip over it.’
He parked the car outside a restaurant and came around to her side to open her door. As she unfolded herself from the car he took her arm and turned her to look at him. ‘Anna…’ He tipped up her chin, his expression instantly softening at the moisture clinging to her eyelashes. ‘Anna…’
‘Don’t.’ She tried to brush him off but his hold remained immovable.
‘Listen to me, cara,’ he said gently. ‘I promise not to mention the past for the rest of tonight. OK?’
‘You won’t be able to stop yourself,’ she said with a sniff.
‘Watch me,’ he said. ‘I will be the perfect partner.’
He led her into the softly lit Italian restaurant and within a few moments they were shown to a table in an intimate corner. He reached for her hand across the table and absently played with her fingers, his eyes never onc
e leaving her face. ‘Anna…’
‘Yes?’
‘Nothing…’ He smiled. ‘Just Anna.’
‘Lucio?’
‘Mmm?’
She gently extracted her hand from his and placed it in her lap. ‘Why do you want to marry me?’
He looked at her for a long time before answering. ‘Sammy needs a father.’
‘Is that your only reason?’
‘What other reason could there be?’ he asked, leaning back in his chair.
‘I don’t know…but I think it’s rather a drastic step to take, considering our…history.’
‘I thought the topic of our history was out of bounds for this evening?’
‘I know, but I’ve been thinking…’ She lifted her troubled gaze to his. ‘This trip to Rome you’re planning…Have you considered your family’s reaction to the news of your marriage to me?’
‘I have considered it.’
‘And?’
‘And we will marry regardless.’
‘But it will be so difficult…with Carlo and…’
‘I did not make it difficult, Anna, you did. Carlo will accept you as his sister-in-law because I demand it, so too will the rest of my family.’
‘Does your mother know about…?’
‘No.’ He reached for his wine. ‘I thought it best at the time to allow her to think we’d had a lovers’ tiff and called off our marriage.’
‘Hasn’t she ever asked you what went wrong?’
‘My mother knows me too well. She understands when a subject is not open for discussion and makes every effort to steer clear of it.’
‘And your sister, Giulia?’
‘Giulia has always maintained her high regard for you,’ he said. ‘It might please you to know she berated me for every type of fool for letting you go.’
‘And you weren’t tempted to tell her the truth?’
‘I was very tempted.’ His eyes held hers for an infinitesimal pause.
‘What stopped you?’
He twirled his wine glass for a moment. ‘Carlo felt so guilty about it all I decided it would only make him more uncomfortable to have the rest of the family in on the secret.’
Somehow his answer disappointed her; she sat staring at her fruit juice, hoping he wouldn’t see how much.
‘Have you ever wanted to tell Jenny the truth?’ he asked.
‘Sometimes…’
‘How did you explain our break-up?’
‘I told her we’d fallen out of love,’ she said, still avoiding his eyes. ‘It was easier that way and, as it turned out, more or less true.’
‘Have you been involved with anyone since?’ he asked, watching her steadily.
She toyed with her glass with restless fingers. ‘Being a single mother is somewhat of a stumbling block to men these days. Most men prefer a woman without baggage.’
‘Sammy’s a great little kid,’ he said.
‘Thank you.’ She felt her heart swell at his compliment.
A funny little silence fell between them. Anna fidgeted with her napkin and then painstakingly rearranged her cutlery.
‘I rang my family last night. I told them Sammy is my child,’ he said.
Anna’s fork slid out of her grasp to the floor with a noisy clatter. ‘Were they…upset?’
‘A bit.’ He gave a wry grimace. ‘My mother was furious with me, of course, and Giulia was livid to think I’d deserted you in your hour of need.’
‘It must have been very difficult for you.’
‘I was just thinking the very same about you,’ he replied. ‘How long was it before you found out you were expecting Carlo’s child?’
‘Too long to do much more than panic,’ she admitted. ‘I guess I ignored the usual signs as I was so…upset at what had happened. I was nearly three months’ pregnant before I realised. It was such a shock. I couldn’t tell anyone the truth, which made it a hundred times worse.’
‘Did you ever consider getting rid of the pregnancy?’
She jerked upright in her seat and faced him. ‘No, I never considered it. It was my mistake…I was prepared to pay for it.’
‘On all accounts you paid dearly.’
‘I’m surprised you think so,’ she put in, ‘especially since you’ve been so busy tailormaking your own revenge.’
‘I too was shocked to find you’d had a child,’ he confessed. ‘For a while there I hoped it was mine, but then I knew it had to be Carlo’s as we’d always used protection.’
‘I wish he was yours,’ she said before she could stop herself.
His eyes went to hers, their dark depths suddenly intense. ‘Do you know how much I wish that too? I look at him and see myself. I see what we could have had together.’
‘I’m so sorry…’
He drained his glass and put it back down with a heavy thud. ‘Not half as sorry as me.’
‘I wish I could remember…’
‘I wish for once you would stop this nonsense of “not remembering”. What will it take for you to accept your role in this? Aren’t the photographs enough? What do you want? Eyewitnesses?’
She twisted her napkin into a knot in her lap. ‘It would make it so much easier if I could remember what led up to me…being in Carlo’s bed.’
‘Let me fill in the gaps for you.’ His tone was bitter. ‘You shared a bottle of champagne with him and when he was a little under the weather you made a pass at him which in his inebriated state he was unable to resist. You and that body of yours pack quite a punch. I don’t blame him for taking what was on offer. I would have done the very same.’
Shame coursed through her at his harsh statement.
‘But I’m prepared to put that aside now so we can concentrate on the future,’ he continued. ‘Sammy has a right to his heritage as a Ventressi and I will make sure he gets it.’
‘Even if it means tying yourself to a woman you no longer feel anything for?’
His eyes were hard as they meshed with hers. ‘I wouldn’t go as far as saying I don’t feel anything for you; in fact, I feel a great deal. I feel the most consuming anger, for a start, and, when I let my guard down, a mild affection, but to be perfectly honest the primary reason I have for tying myself to you is that I cannot get you out of my system. I want you physically. It is like a gnawing hunger inside me. The fact that you slept with my brother and gave birth to his child hasn’t dampened it one little bit. I want you and I will go to any lengths to have you.’
‘I can’t do it, Lucio.’ Her voice was just a whisper of sound. ‘I just can’t marry you.’
‘You can and you will. I will not settle for anything else.’
‘How long do you think such a marriage will last?’ Desperation crept into her tone but she could do nothing to hold it back.
‘It will last for as long as I say.’
‘So you will always have the final say?’
‘Do you think I would settle for anything else?’ he asked. ‘You sabotaged my happiness before—I am not giving you another chance.’
‘Please don’t ask this of me,’ she begged him.
‘I’m not asking you, Anna—I’m telling you. You will be my wife within a week and I will not take no for an answer.’
‘Do you hate me this much?’
His expression was unreadable. ‘I have every reason to hate you, Anna. You, of all people, know that.’
There was little she could say in her own defence. He indeed had every right to hate her for she had betrayed him in a way no man would ever wish to be betrayed.
‘I just wish that things were different,’ she said with a sigh.
‘Do you know how many times I have wished the same?’ he asked. ‘I lie awake at night and think of what might have been; instead, I am faced with what is.’
‘I’ve ruined both of our lives.’ Her shoulders slumped. ‘One stupid mistake and I ruined both of our lives.’
‘We can salvage what is left,’ he said. ‘I will make sure of it.’
; She gave a humourless laugh. ‘Yes, and never let a day go past without reminding me of my indiscretion.’
‘Once we are married the past will stay where it belongs—in the past.’
‘How can I trust you?’ she asked. ‘You said this evening you wouldn’t once mention the past and yet you’ve spoken of nothing else.’
‘I will do my best to forget what happened between you and Carlo. I can’t guarantee it will be easy, but I realise for Sammy’s sake I will have to try.’
‘I don’t know how I am going to face your brother…’
‘You need have no fear that Carlo would ever be tempted to look at you that way again. He is very much in love with Milana and would do nothing to jeopardise his marriage.’
‘You trust Carlo but not me.’
‘Of course I trust Carlo,’ he said. ‘Unlike you, he has always accepted responsibility for his part in what happened that night.’
‘Even to the extent of documenting it,’ she put in cynically. ‘I’m surprised he didn’t have a film and sound crew there as well just to make doubly sure you had no other choice but to believe his story.’
There was another awkward pause.
‘By the way, he sent me the photographs.’ She broke the silence like a thrown rock as it hit the still surface of a pond.
He went very still.
‘At first I thought it might have been a letter from you…An apology for not trying to see my side.’
‘Did anything accompany the photographs?’ he asked.
‘Like what?’ she asked. ‘A confession of how he’d taken advantage of me? That it wasn’t my fault, after all?’
The line of his mouth was grim. ‘I meant, was there a letter?’
‘Oh, there was a letter all right.’ Her mouth tightened bitterly. ‘It was short and to the point.’
‘What did it say?’
‘Not much, but I read between the lines to get the general idea.’
‘Do you still have a copy of it?’
‘No.’
He gave a cynical little smile. ‘No, of course not.’
She stared at him incredulously. ‘You don’t believe me, do you?’
‘Why should I?’
‘Because I’m telling you the truth! Your brother sent me a note with the photographs, warning me never to contact you or anyone in your family again.’
The Italian's Mistress (HQR Presents) Page 10