“Maybe.” His face heated but he refused to look away. “The move is older than either of us. I didn’t think you’d get the reference.”
“It was one of Mom’s favorites, she watched it a lot when I was growing up. I swear I knew the script to that one by the time I was ten better than I know Cars now.”
He paused a minute, Cars came out more than ten years ago, none of Nancy’s kids were that old.
“I know,” Nancy rolled her eyes. “When Tommy was a baby Cars 2 came out. Thomas insisted he couldn’t have the second one without the first. Tommy was tiny, but he fell in love. We’ve seen them both more times than I can count.” She tilted her head and her voice changed just a little. “Did you know you can actually wear out a DVD? And they don’t take well to being dropped inside the oven door.” She shook her head. “We’re on our third disc. And we have an extra one at my brother’s because they watch it there too. Thankfully Jasmine found a new movie to be obsessed with. Secretly I think it’s because if I’m not careful, her hair will end up looking like Merida’s. I already have to watch her or she’ll build her own bow and shoot whatever stands still long enough with make shift arrows.”
“Wild red hair, bow and arrows, her new movie must be Brave.”
“At least it’s not another Cars movie.” Nancy repeated the phrase as if it was a mantra she’d said at least a hundred times before.
Thorne couldn’t help but chuckle. A glance at the clock told him he needed to get moving, the bell would ring before long and he liked to be in his classroom before students started arriving.
He gathered his things and put what went back in his lunch bag away and taking care of his trash.
“I’ll make sure you have my number before I leave today. I’m looking forward to a snow day, it will be fun.”
“I’m not sure you know what you’re getting yourself in to, but thank you.”
Thorne waved away her thanks and headed back to his room, thinking to himself that he had a pretty good idea what he was getting into, but she has no clue what he had planned.
A week later, Thorne sat at his parents’ dining room table, cup of coffee next to his elbow and Ma seated across from him.
“You sure you want to do this?”
“I am. She wants to let the kids play in the snow.” He glanced out the window, admiring the pristine white blanket that lay nearly six inches deep covering everything in sight. “At first I thought I’d take them to Frost’s place. The longer I thought about it, the more I knew that wasn’t right. I need to bring them here. I thought that maybe we could enlist Yeats to take them out and keep an eye on them, if he’s not busy. But I need you to not let on what we talked about.”
“Of course, dear.” Her eyes were a light at the idea of having small kids around to spoil. “I need to get some hot cocoa. They’ll need some to warm them up after playing in the cold.” He could tell by the gleam in her eyes she was planning something but he was afraid to ask. As long as she was nice, and didn’t let on to Nancy that he’d set his sights on her, Thorne would be happy.
“Are you staying for dinner?” Ma pushed herself up right, and carried her cup to the pot where she refilled it. “I’m making fried chicken.”
“Homemade chicken?”
“Is there any other kind?” She stopped at the sink and pulled the plug then replaced it and refilled it with water.
“I’ve been eating deli fried chicken recently. It’s not bad, but it’s not yours.”
Finished at the sink, she brought her coffee back to the table and resumed her seat across from him.
“Poor boy. I should make you come help me, then you’ll know how to make it right.” If he stayed, he planned to help cook, but he hadn’t yet made up his mind, or he hadn’t until she’d said chicken. Thorn loved Ma’s fried chicken.
“You’re just spoiled after Thanksgiving. I shouldn’t have done it. Now you’ll expect me to cook every time I come home.”
“Sounds like a good plan to me.”
Thorne laughed.
“I don’t know that I’d mind so much.”
Ma laughed and shook her head. “Bring your girl, and her kids. I’ll behave and I won’t say anything to anyone else about how you feel about her. I’ll show the utmost discretion.”
Thorne blinked at her uplifted pinky as she sipped from her coffee mug but couldn’t help but laugh at her sense of humor.
“Thanks. I’m looking forward to it more than I thought I would.” He shook his head and stared down into the inky liquid in his cup a moment. “It’s been a week since I’ve seen her, well, a week tomorrow, and I find myself waiting for her call. Holding my breath when it does ring, hoping it will be her.” He looked up and met Ma’s gaze. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to play it cool when she calls. I’m afraid I’ll screw this up.”
“I’m sorry, baby. I don’t know what to tell you.” Ma took a deep breath and watched him a moment. “This is something you need to figure out on your own. If it’s handed to you, you won’t value it as much as if you work for it. You know that.”
“I know, Ma.” Thorne shoved one hand through his hair and was reminded he’d gotten it cut. He’d spent so long being able to tug at the long locks when he was frustrated, now, he ran out of hair before he was ready to pull.
“You know,” Ma tilted her head and watched him a moment, “I really like this new cut. It looks sharp.” She smiled that knowing smile he’d gotten used to over the years. “I bet it looks even better when it’s not been pulled and tugged out of the style it was given.”
“It does look pretty good when it’s done. I like to gel and spike it a little and I bet the kids will like it. I was tempted to have them bleach it and dye the tips some bright color but I didn’t have the patience for that. I wasn’t sitting in the stylist chair long enough for that.” He sighed. “Though the look on Dad’s face would have been worth it.”
“All four of you and your doing things to get under your father’s skin.” She shook her head again but didn’t say anything more.
“What time you expect Dad and Charlie home?”
Ma rolled her eyes. “Your father’s as bad as the four of you. Depending on how much stock there was, the auction should get done mid-afternoon, so they should be back about dinner time.” She glanced at the clock and sighed. “I guess I should get started if we want to eat before bed time.” She started to stand, but Thorne waved her back down.
“I told you to give me directions and I’ll do it.” He stood, rolled up the sleeves on his worn flannel shirt as he went to the sink and washed his hands in the empty side of the divided sink. The other half held a packaged chicken bobbing in water that came half way up the sides. “What’s first?”
When Ma didn’t answer right away, he turned to find her watching him open mouthed. She blinked and finally found her words.
“Do you know how to cut up a chicken?”
“I’ve been living on my own for more than ten years, Ma. Where’s the knife you use for this?” He drained the water around the chicken and glanced around.
“The one with the brown handle, there in the block.”
Thorne pulled the knife and looked at the blade for a moment.
“Does it need anything or has Dad gotten to them lately?”
“It’s good. He went through the block last week.”
Thorne couldn’t help the faint smile that curved his lips as he turned back to the sink, knife in hand and went to work cutting the chicken into pieces.
“Is one going to be enough?”
“For four of us? It should be fine.”
“Four? What about Yeats?”
“He went to Albuquerque with a friend. They’ll be back on Saturday.”
Thorne stopped what he was doing so he didn’t accidentally slice off a finger when he turned to stare at his mother with one brow lifted. “Two days in Albuquerque at sixteen? I seem to recall asking and being told over your dead body.”
“Different frie
nds, different boys. Lots of things have changed since then. Yeats is not you.” She met his gaze without flinching. “Where you didn’t have to go anywhere for trouble to find you, your brother is more laid back and less—” she seemed to search for the right word, “adventurous.”
Thorne turned back to the bird in front of him and got back to work as Ma continued.
“Your dad and I have learned a lot since you were a teen. The first always has things more strict, then they feel like each one after them has it easier, and sometimes they so, sometimes it’s just perceptions.”
“I’m not complaining, not really. I just had to ride you a little. I wasn’t the easiest teenager. I know that.” Thorne made the last cut on the chicken, washed his knife, dried it and put it away. “I bucked hard against expectation and restrictions. I wanted to be free to find my own path.”
“You got free.”
“I did, but at the time, I felt like I had to fight hard for every choice, every freedom I got.” He took a breath, Ma started to argue, but Thorne didn’t let her. “I know it’s not true. I can see that now, but that’s not how I saw it at the time.”
“I—I never knew.”
“It doesn’t matter, you weren’t supposed to know. That’s not the point.”
“What is the point?”
He took a moment, braced both hands on the edge of the counter and thought before looking back at her.
“I guess my point is that I understand. I didn’t then but I do now. I know why Yeats has different rules than I did. Why Frost had different rules, and Charlie too. I didn’t then but that doesn’t matter anymore.” He stood up, clapped his hands before rubbing them together. “What next?”
She gave directions and he followed them, happy to be learning one of his favorite meals and thinking someday he might make it for his own family. Right now, he couldn’t think of anything he wanted more.
Chapter 15
Threats of canceling their trip to the snow tomorrow got all the kids in bed without a fuss, now Nancy had a little time to herself before she had to get to bed. She sat on the edge of her bed, trying to decide what to do, and realized what she really needed was a hot bath. Twenty or thirty minutes soaking without interruption, maybe more, sounded like heaven.
She started the water, added some scented oil and stepped to the vanity and removed her jewelry, putting each piece away as she took it off. Her earrings, the small diamond pendant around her neck, the Jade ring from her right hand. She hesitated when she got to her wedding band on her left hand. Staring at it, the reminders that she needed to live, not just survive replayed through her mind. For the first time, the thought of taking off the ring didn’t fill her with the urge to curl up in her bed and cry for a week. It didn’t feel good but it wasn’t the devastation she’d always felt before.
With a deep breath, she slid the ring off her finger. She almost set it on the counter then stopped herself. Instead she went to her jewelry box, sitting on top of the chest of drawers in her bedroom. She pulled out a heavy chain and threaded the ring onto it. She stared at the chain and ring a moment then glanced back to the still open box. Thomas’s ring sat on top, as if waiting for something. On impulse she picked up his ring and added it to the chain before closing the box.
Back in the bathroom she hung the necklace on a hook next to the mirror and stared at it a moment. She waited for the regret, the uncertainty, the sensation of betrayal to wash over her but to her surprise, it never came. Seeing her ring nestled up against his gave her a sense of contentment she hadn’t had in longer than she could remember. She took a deep breath and let some of her tension flow out as she exhaled then went to the tub. Climbing in, she sank beneath the steaming water with a sigh as she let the heat soak into her body and wash away what was left of her stress and worry.
Tomorrow she was going to take the SUV out of the garage, where it spent most if it’s time these days. She only took it out when she was taking all the kids out, more room and more comfortable. She’d used it more in the last week and a half, since school let out, than she had in the previous month. It used to be her main car, Thomas drove the car. But when she’d started school it made more sense to drive the car back and forth, it got better mileage and maintenance was less. Besides, it only made sense to leave the SUV for taking the kids out with whoever was caring for them.
Anyway, she would load the kids and all their warm clothes up before they picked up Thorne and headed to Garrett. How the day went after they got there would be anyone’s guess. For all she knew Jasmine would freak out and scream non-stop because of the snow. She hoped not but it had been Tommy’s first reaction to it. They hadn’t been here though. Thomas had been stationed at Ft Drum at the time. It had taken Tommy a while to get used to the cold white stuff.
The last time she’d taken them to the snow had been before Thomas passed away, Jasmine wasn’t even walking yet, the twins barely two. They probably wouldn’t even remember it. She only hoped they behaved and didn’t make Thorne regret taking them to a good place to play.
Nothing she could do about it either way, not now. She pushed her worries away and let her mind drift. She’d thought she’d be nervous about taking Thorne along on the family outing. But after a week and a half away from school, she’s was looking forward to seeing the man who’d slipped past her walls and become her friend.
The thought flashed through her mind, surprising her with its honesty and insight. She usually only got feelings this raw, this intense, after going through introspection and soul searching to figure out what was wrong. She waited for the guilt she knew had to be coming, but oddly, it never arrived. Well, it was too soon to say never but it wasn’t following the time table she was used to.
As her bathwater grew cold, Nancy’s eyes grew heavy. She pulled the plug and got out of the tub, after drying off, she slipped on her nightgown and headed to bed. Tomorrow would be a long day, she’d need as much rest as she could get.
Nancy sat a round table in the kitchen of a mid-century farm house sipping coffee mixed with hot cocoa.
“Thank you for this, Mrs. Whitman.” She glanced out the window, at the slope on the far side of the valley where Thorne and his teenage brother still trekked up and down the hill playing with her kids. She should be out there with them but she’d been gasping for breath and exhausted when Thorne’s mother had invited her in for something warm to drink. She’d offered cocoa at first, then coffee, Nancy couldn’t resist the temptation to mix them. It was a treat she didn’t allow herself often. “I think I needed getting out and letting them enjoy this as much as they did.”
“It’s no bother. I miss having little ones around.” His mom glanced out the window at the group still frolicking in the snow. “They grow so fast, before you know it, they’re too big to go out and play like that on their own.” She sighed. “Yeats in my baby, but look at him out there. We’ve had snow three times, and this has been on the ground for over a week, this is the first time he’s gone out to play like this.” She turned away, looking at Nancy. “And call me Kelly dear, or Ma like the kids do. Mrs. Whitman was my mother-in-law.” She shook her head and laughed. “You’d think at my age, I’d be past that, but even though she’s been gone for more than ten years, I still want to turn and look for her when someone says Mrs. Whitman.”
Nancy forced herself to smile. The other woman’s words only reminded her that she still looked for Thomas, then her heart broke all over again when she realized all over again he wasn’t there and never would be.
“Let me check this water real quick.” Kelly pushed herself to her feet. “I want to have it hot when they get ready to come in so we can make them cocoa to warm up.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know I don’t, but I want to. I’ve not had little ones to spoil for a long time. It’s nice to get a chance to again.”
“Thorne told me he’s the oldest and none of his siblings have kids yet.” Nancy looked out the window where Thorne and
his brother still played. Someone was rolling down the hill. She thought it was Tommy but at this distance she couldn't be sure. Her first instinct was to run out and check on him but she held back. Thorne would bring him, or send his brother to get her if something was wrong. As far as she could tell, it was just another way to play in the snow. She shook her head and couldn’t help but be glad she’d packed dry clothes for all the kids.
“No, none of them are settled down yet. I’m kind of glad for that. Or I was until recently.”
Nancy turned to watch the short, rounding woman bustle about the kitchen, she couldn’t help but wonder what had changed to make her change her mind.
“Where you had yours all close together, I didn’t. There’s almost a fifteen-year gap between Thorne and Yeats. I’ve been working on raising my kids and I’ve been too busy to think about grandchildren. But recently it occurred to me, that unless one of the older boys, or even Charlie, gets settled down soon, I may be waiting a long time.” Kelly refilled her mug and brought it back to the table. “As you can tell, I’m not above borrowing little ones until I get my own.” She sat down with a smile.
“Still, thank you. This is beyond generous.”
Kelly waved a hand. “It’s nothing. It’s letting someone enjoy this place in a way that no one has in a long time.” She glanced out to where her sons were occupied with the kids. “I think they’ll all sleep really well tonight. I don’t think Yeats has gone out and played like that in at least three or four years.”
They talked a while, Kelly telling Nancy stories about Thorne and his siblings while they were growing up. Local politics and a little bit of everything as they filled the time till Thorne, Yeats and the kids came trudging in, wet and exhausted, but happy.
The sun was just behind them as Nancy pulled her SUV out on the highway and aimed them toward Blackjack. Thorne twisted around in his seat a moment then twisted back around.
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