“Someone has to be,” Claire shrugged. “But it was nice having a night off...even if I am probably going to have a huge headache in the morning.”
“Just needed a break from us, huh?” FX said sympathetically.
“I needed a break from me,” She slumped against Cheol’s chest. “Just a couple of hours of not thinking too much or worrying. It was also nice to talk to some girls. I missed girl talk.”
“Too many boys?” Kitae asked from beside her.
“Just enough boys but not enough girls,” She reached out and put a hand on his arm. “There are just some things I can’t talk with you guys about.”
“Why not?” Minjun queried from his seat hugging Kitae from behind.
“Because you all are probably half of what she needs to talk about,” Roz filled in. “And let’s be honest, the other half is probably some mix of literal female things and her sex life, which all of you already know way too much about.”
“Sha sha sha, farmach dos moyl!”[77] Claire shushed her friend. “Yentz… shtuping[78], we do not speak of these things around--” She gestured at the rest of the room. “You yutz…”
“Yes ma’am,” Roz took a sip of her drink.
“I love no filter Roz,” Suhani laughed. “She is usually spot on if not tactful. You all really are adorably innocent aren’t you?”
“They are sweet and it’s the best thing about them,” Claire pet Kitae’s arm, eliciting a shy grin from him. “I love my boys.”
“And we love you back,” Cheol assured her.
“ I know, even if you don’t say it, I know,” Her hand patted the top of his head. “You guys did so well tonight. It was so exciting! I’m glad we got to come.”
“Seriously, so much respect,” Suhani clapped her hands together. “You guys were so great, I can’t even explain how amazing it was to be there. You were absolutely tied for first for best performance.”
“Tied?” Jaejin sounded injured by the words.
“Hey, I can’t choose between you and TEENz,” Suhani gestured dramatically. “It’s a sort of Sophie’s Choice; you can’t ask me to do that. Changho may be my ult bias, but I love both groups equally aside from that.”
“I’m your ult bias?” Changho fairly beamed, giving her his best cute face.
“Down boy,” Claire giggled at his face and the adoring look Suhani gave back to him. “Geez, I’m not sure which one of them I’m stepping in to protect at this point.” Her brow furrowed for a second. “Changho, definitely Changho.”
“Pfft, you don’t have to protect me,” He suppressed a pleased smile. “I’m an adult. I can take care of myself.”
“You have no idea what she would do with you,” Roz gave a husky chuckle.
“And you do?” Snickered Changho.
“Yes,” Said all three women at the same time. All of the members except Changho burst out laughing. Those nearest to him gave him playful shoves and pats as his face turned a pleasant shade of pink.
“Hey, wait,” He pushed the playful hands of his friends away. “Why do you know?”
“Oh sweetie, we talk about everything,” Roz rolled her eyes.
“Everything?” Cheol could feel his ears get warmer.
“Kinda yeah,” Claire gave him an apologetic look. “I need someone to talk to about this stuff.”
“Don’t worry,” Roz comforted. “I won’t repeat anything she has ever said to another soul. And nothing she has said was ever anything less than complimentary. I’m green with envy, to be honest. Ah well…”
“I’m not sure that is better,” Cheol laughed.
“Don’t you have someone you talk to about these things?” Suhani was surprised by the idea that he might not.
“I talk to Claire and sometimes the other members...but not about that,” It flustered him to imagine discussing that sort of thing with the other members. Honestly, it would have been nice to have someone to talk to outside of the group, but most of his friends he was close to were debuted trainees in other groups and he couldn’t risk bringing them in on the secret. They were his friends but...it wasn’t fair to ask them to keep the secret. The company wouldn’t take it well if it found out they were keeping a secret like this for him. They might also think they were doing him a favor, at least in the long run, by letting the company know.
“Poor you,” Roz gave him a sympathetic half frown. “Well if you ever need advice or just someone to bounce things off when she is driving you crazy or does something stupid, you can always come to me. I mean you don’t know me that well yet, but maybe, if you stay with Claire, you will over time.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” He appreciated the offer, even if it wasn’t something he was comfortable with just yet.
“Okay so besides binge and have girl talk,” FX interjected. “What is it that you guys were up to today?”
“Oh we saw your panel and the dance thing you did,” Suhani replied. “You guys did a great job with that as well. So stupidly cute. Uh, we also went around and bought a whole bunch of merch, which is awesome. Claire got us signed albums from you guys and TEENz…”
“Yeah she came back and asked us to do it after lunch at some point,” Jaejin recalled.
“Is that where you disappeared off to?” Why it was just occurring to Roz now was anyone’s guess. “I figured you had some secret source and went and bought them.”
“Well I did have to buy the albums,” Claire blinked at her. “I also had to go get them signed.”
“Like, what, you just went backstage and were like, Hey guys, can you do me a favor?” Suhani sputtered.
“Pretty close to word for word actually,” She nodded. “They were happy to do it. Also very nice guys.”
“You know them?” Roz sat forward in her chair. “Like more than you have waved to them in a hallway as you passed them?”
“Only slightly better than that,” Claire tried to insist. “I wouldn’t have asked for anyone else.”
“Have these hands touched the sexy god that is Yejun?” Roz came and took Claire’s hands in her own and looked at them intently.
“Yes, they have,” Her words came out slowly and with a hint of suspicion.
“Ooooo to be so close and yet so far,” Roz nuzzled her face in her friend’s hands and let out a contented sigh.
“You are going to have to be so much cooler than this if you ever actually meet him,” A laugh bubbled up in Claire’s throat.
“This is good enough for now,” Roz shrugged. “I am touching what he touched.”
“You know,” Claire informed her friend patiently. “That means he also touched your album. Why don’t you cuddle the album?”
“Oh, OH, TRUE!” Roz’s eyes went wide with excitement for a second before her expression fell. “I should just put it in my vitrine at home and never touch it. It must never be tainted by mortal touch.”
“Oh lord, never let your Nana hear you like this,” Claire laughed.
“What, do you think I am crazy?” Roz was slightly offended. “I mean, first of all, K-Pop is not a shabbat subject, and secondly, even jokingly referring to the worship of a man would send her into fits and I would have to read about the graven images and idol worship. An ironic thing, in a way. I am literally worshiping a K-Pop idol but I can’t really feel bad about it. Much though Nana hates it, I am a thoroughly secular jew.”
“I won’t tell,” Claire crossed her heart. “Not that I see much of Nana these days.”
“She misses you,” Roz told her quietly. “We all miss you.”
“I miss you, too,” pulling her friend into a hug, Claire let out a hiccuping sound as she tried to swallow the coming tears. Suhani made a dawwww sound and rushed over to pile on to the hug. Cheol put a hand on Claire’s arm and she reached out to take his hand.
“Can’t you just move to Korea with me?” She was mostly joking, but she did wish she could have everyone she loved in a single place.
“Oh honey, I would, but I don’t think that is exact
ly practical,” Suhani sighed. “But I promise to come visit sometime soon.”
“Yeah, we will both come,” Roz promised. “Then you can show us how awesome Seoul is.”
“Sure,” Claire nodded. “I’ll be your tour guide and you’ll fall as much in love with the city as I have.”
“No doubt,” Suhani gave her an extra squeeze.
***
Their flight out of New York left in the early afternoon on Tuesday. Everything went smoothly and the boys didn’t have to wake up too early. Everyone was packed and in the lobby three hours before their flight and everyone was buzzing with excitement to head to the next city and the next concert venue. The first class flight was not nearly so luxurious, but then again, the flight was only about three hours long rather than the better part of a day. Claire was seated next to Jihoon, who napped the whole flight. Cheol was seated in the row ahead of them and kept making faces at Claire through the crack in the seats. He wished they could have been seated together, but it was too awkward to explain to Jihoon that he just wanted to sit with her. With no other choice, he settled for trying to entertain her from his seat.
They arrived in Chicago in the early evening and knew that something wasn’t quite right the minute everyone turned their phones on at the gate. Everyone had dozens of messages that popped up as soon as they got a network signal. Claire pulled up the first message from someone at the company and skimmed the irate message before clicking on the link.
Romance in the Shadows: One K-Pop Star’s Forbidden Love
Claire’s stomach dropped to her feet as she saw the blurry photo of her and Cheol kissing outside of the subway station when they snuck out to dinner with Roz. It hadn’t occurred to her that someone might be following them there. They weren’t that famous here in the US yet. Of course they had fans, but the media still largely treated them and the whole genre as a fad, and one for children at that. Who would have cared enough to follow them?
She flicked through the article and realized it was nothing more than a three paragraph teaser, promising the full article the next day. Full article, she thought, how much more could they possibly have? She looked up and met Cheol’s eyes over the back of the seat as everyone looked at them. His face was pale as he looked back for a moment before he pulled his bag out from the seat in front of his and prepared to get off the plane. Pulling her stuff out, she couldn’t meet the eyes of Jihoon who was still looking at his phone and sending replies as he stood in the small space in front of his seat.
“We can’t do anything about this right now,” He said curtly, stuffing his phone in his pocket. “Once we get to the hotel, I will call the company and we can go from there.”
Claire could only nod and look down at her feet as she felt the warm tracks of tears falling down her cheeks. Cheol reached out and touched her shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” He murmured.
“ ‘S not your fault,” She reached up and held his wrist. “I’m so stupid.”
“No you’re--” He was cut off by Jihoon moving to deplane and motioning for everyone to follow. Claire tried her best to keep up with him and Cheol came up beside her, trying to take her hand. She shook her head and pulled her hand away, gripping the strap of her bag tightly with both hands. They jogged through the airport towards baggage claim, sticking close to one another. They emerged into the baggage claim hall to find packs of fans who had come to greet them being held back away from the baggage claim. The screams started when the first fan noticed them enter. Everyone kept their heads down as an airport employee led them to their baggage claim and helped them to pull their bags off the metal conveyor belt.
“I’ve already called our driver,” Jihoon told the group. “They are just outside of the center doors. Stay close, keep hold of your bags and just take them in with you in your lap. We can put them in the back once we are out of here. Just get in the car.”
Everyone nodded and tried their best to stay together despite the crowds. Jihoon let an airport security guard lead the group and decided to take up the rear to make sure no one got separated or accosted. People screamed their names as they passed and most of the members tried to smile at the fans as they passed. Most faces looked excited but a few looked upset as they scanned the group.
“Cheol, how could you!” Screamed one teenage fan as they drew near. Claire turned towards the source of the yell to see a teenage girl push out of the crowd and dash towards them. Without thinking, Claire stepped out and pulled Cheol further into the group and put herself between the enraged girl and the group. Pulling her luggage with one hand, she used the other to urge and guide the members more quickly towards the door. A sharp pain burst through her back a second before she heard a series of shrieks and Jihoon’s voice shouting, Run!
Everyone moved as quickly as they could out of the doors and started moving into the open doors of the waiting minibus. Claire leaned against the side of the bus with one hand as all the members piled in. She could feel a dampness spreading on her back, dripping down from the aching, hot spot of pain there.
“Are you okay?” Jihoon asked, drawing near her so he could speak without everyone else hearing.
“No,” She replied quietly. “I can’t come with you. Get everyone in and you have to go.”
“Just get in--” He paused when he put a hand on her back to urge her inside. “What…” Looking down at his hand, he noticed the warm, wet blood for the first time.
“I need to go to the hospital and someone here can get me there,” She pulled his hand down, afraid one of the members would see it. “Get everyone in and go. I’m not coming.”
He just nodded and watched the last few members get in before waving over the guard and whispering something before he got in himself and pulled the door shut behind him.
“You need to go to the hospital?” The guard asked, taking her by the elbow as she leaned away from the car a second before it pulled away. She nodded as she felt her knees get weak and give way. Someone in the minibus pounded on the window as it pulled away but she couldn’t see through the tinted windows.
***
“Wait,” Cheol looked around as he heard the door shut, panic rising. “Claire didn’t get in. We can’t go yet!”
“What?” Changho straightened in his seat and looked around before looking out the window just as the car lurched forward. “Hey!” He slammed his hand against the back window. Through it he could see Claire still standing on the sidewalk, a security guard by her side.
“Stop the bus!” Hyunwoo shouted from the front. He looked at Jihoon, who wouldn’t meet his gaze, “Manager, we can’t just leave without her! I know you’re mad, but we can’t just leave her!”
Changho was still looking out the window, Wonjung beside him now watching as well. They could see Claire start to collapse.
“I’m not mad at her, at any of you,” Jihoon replied quietly. “She couldn’t come.”
“What’s on your hand?” Seunghoon caught sight of Jihoons hand.
“Like I said,” He took a tissue out of his pocket and started wiping off his hand. “She couldn’t come.”
“What do you mean?” Cheol tried to get up from his seat, but Minjun pulled him back down as the car accelerated to full speed into city traffic. “No! Turn around! We have to go back!”
“What’s on his hand?” Changho asked Seunghoon over the din inside the bus.
“I think it’s blood,” Seunghoon’s eyes were wide and worried.
“Blood? Whose blood?” Jaejin clutched his bag and looked around at everyone in the bus.
“I think Claire got hurt,” Changho growled angrily.
“Why? What do you mean?!” Minjun had to hug Cheol from behind to keep him in his seat. “Why did you leave her behind?!”
“I saw the girl from the crowd hit her,” Jihoon replied, still trying to get the blood off his hand, unable to look any of them in the eye. “I think she had something in her hand. Claire had to stay to get help. You couldn’t have helped her.�
�
“Let me out,” Cheol sobbed. “I can’t leave her like that. It’s my fault! Please, let me go back!”
“It will be okay,” Wonjung tried to sooth his friend. “When we get back to the hotel we can call her and figure out where she is. We’ll make sure she is okay. We couldn’t have helped her. Jihoon is right.”
“I can’t leave her alone,” Cheol struggled against the hold of his friends. “I can’t leave her alone and hurt...Please…”
“We’ll find her,” Hyunwoo sniffled, trying not to cry at the sight of his friend and the knowledge that they had, indeed just left their friend behind.
Chapter 23
Claire lay in the white room in the hospital listening to the beeping and clicking of the machines in the room. In the 24 hours since the plane had landed, she had spoken to Jihoon once to confirm she was alright and to hear from him what the company had to say regarding the scandal. She was of course done with the company, no real surprise, and as soon as she was well enough to fly she would be heading back to Seoul. The tour would continue as scheduled without her, though most of the additional events and interviews were now canceled. The band had obligations but aside from that they were on lockdown.
The actual article had been published with dozens of pictures of them from during their time in New York. Someone had been following them from the first day and had somehow even snuck a camera into his hotel room at some point. There were stills of Cheol feeding her pasta from the night they hung out with Jaejin and Changho to watch the movie. How they did that she could have only guessed, but it couldn’t have happened without someone who worked in the hotel helping. There were photos of them sitting together on the edge of the fountain. Another couple from their ‘date’ posing for selfies in the garden of the museum.
How didn’t I notice someone following us, she asked herself, feeling incredibly stupid for thinking they would go unnoticed in the city. Someone had cared enough to follow them practically from the moment they got off the plane. She honestly hadn’t thought they were important enough to be worth that kind of attention.
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