by Quinn Ward
* * *
I rubbed my sweaty palms over my jeans as I shuffled my way down the hospital corridor behind Enzo. This shouldn't feel like an ill-timed meet-the-parents moment since I had already been accepted into the fold by Mama Marino, but today was the first day I was seeing her as Enzo's significant other rather than Tony's. I worried about her realizing what was going on between us, reacting poorly, and her suffering a setback because of the toll it took on her body.
"You're being ridiculous," Enzo muttered under his breath. I wasn't sure if he was speaking to me or to himself, so I didn't respond. He fell back, lacing his fingers in mine. "If you overthink any harder, smoke's going to start spewing from your ears. It's going to be fine."
"Maybe we should've waited for me to come up with you when Tony could be with us," I suggested for at least the fifth time since we parked in the ramp. The last time Enzo and I were seen together without Tony hadn't turned out so well, and I still worried about their mama's fragile state. "She's more likely to believe we're not screwing around behind his back if he's here with us."
"Do you really think she believes I'm dumb enough to bring someone to see her in the hospital who's cheating on my brother and introduce him as my boyfriend?" He turned and pressed me against the wall. "Max, now it's your turn to relax. It's not like I'm expecting you to let me sit in your lap so we can make out beside her bed while she's sleeping. You're here to keep me company. If that's all we tell her, so be it. She already knows the three of us live together; the sleeping arrangements are irrelevant. You became part of the family the first time Tony brought you home, and that's not going to change now."
"You're giving her a lot of credit. If your brothers had a hard time coming to accept us—and I'm still not convinced they're cool with the three of us being together—I'm not sure an old woman's going to welcome me with open arms."
Enzo flinched before swatting my arm. "Don't you dare let her hear you call her that. She'll hop out of the bed and beat you to a pulp."
"You know what I mean." I let out a huff. He leaned in, pressing his forehead to mine. "I'll get my shit together, promise."
"I know you will. And if it helps, Tony texted while you were driving and said the guys are letting him out as soon as possible. I think they know it's important for the three of us to be able to lean on one another right now." Enzo kissed me softly.
"Enzo?" His knees nearly gave out at the strained, quiet beckoning from inside the room. When our eyes met, I saw tears welling along his lower lashes from the sound of Mama's voice calling to him. This was the first time she'd been awake when he'd visited since the stroke. I wasn't sure if he'd noticed how she struggled to get the two syllables out, but it wasn't important. The fact she seemed lucid and could speak was a huge step in the right direction.
I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist to hold him steady. "Let's get in there and see how she's doing today."
He held my hand tightly, not letting go until he rounded the curtain shielding Mama from view of passersby. Enzo looked back and me, and I nodded, silently telling him to go on and sit with her. Maybe I was a chicken, but instead of joining him, I jerked my head toward the door, hoping he'd understand I was making a much-needed coffee run.
"Max... with you?" I stopped, one foot already in the corridor. Now, I had a decision to make: hunt down a caffeine fix or suck it up and face whatever reaction she might have. My heart twisted hearing her asking about me, and I knew there was no real decision to be made.
I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, and walked back into the room. She looked frail lying in the bed, but somehow her hair was still pulled back and her lips stained with the deep lipstick she always wore. I chuckled, imagining her summoning a nurse to help her get ready for the day, unwilling to look anything less than her best even as she came back from near-death.
I bent down and kissed her cheek as she squeezed my hand. "Hi, Mama. You look wonderful."
She waved her hand dismissively. "Look...horrible. Sit."
Because I know better than to argue with an Italian mama, I pulled up a chair and sat next to Enzo. She stared at the distance between our seats and shook her head. She fumbled for the remote beside her, and it fell out of her hand. Enzo was quick to her aid. "I've got it, Mama."
She swatted toward his hand but didn't make contact. Enzo turned the controller toward her, steadying it while she concentrated on pressing the button to lift the head of the bed so she was sitting. The entire time, her gaze was fixed on me. I fidgeted under the scrutiny, wondering if she was trying to put together the words to ask why I was here with Enzo instead of Tony. I didn't have nearly as much faith in her understanding as Enzo did.
"Too...skinny," she declared, turning her focus to her son. "You need...to feed...him."
Enzo let out a strained chuckle at her admonishment. I reached over and patted his knee. "They both take good care of me."
"Good." An orderly brought in a tray of food for Mama and rolled the little table over to the bed. When the orderly removed the lid, the room was filled with an unpleasant odor. Mama apparently felt the same as she sneered at the plate and shoved the table away.
"You have to eat, Mrs. Marino." The orderly crossed her arms over her chest and frowned. I felt bad for the woman because with the way the food smelled, I had to imagine this was a battle she fought more than once per meal time. "The doctor's hoping to get you up a bit more today, and you need energy."
Mama turned a pleading gaze on her son. I coughed to stifle a laugh because I'd seen that look before, typically when Tony or Enzo wanted something but didn't know how to ask for it. He let out a sigh and pulled the phone out of his pocket. "You'll have to forgive her. She's used to either cooking for herself or eating what my brother cooks. He's a professional chef, so her standards might be a bit higher than overcooked cafeteria fare. What are her restrictions?"
"Oh, you'd have to talk to the nurses about that." The orderly shifted from one foot to the other. "Patients aren't supposed to have outside food because the doctors need to know exactly what they're eating to make sure it follows their nutritional plan."
Enzo stood and bent down to kiss his mama's forehead. "I'm going to see if we can get you some decent food for dinner, but you have to eat what this nice lady brought for lunch." Mama shook her head, sneered at the plate of what appeared to be dried out chicken and overcooked broccoli. "Mama, you have to do what they say if you want to get out of here. Once you're home, I'm sure Freddie will cook for you until you're ready to get back into the kitchen, but that won't happen if you don't do what they want right now."
Listening to him, it sounded like he'd slid into the parental role and was bargaining with a petulant child. I sat back and watched the two of them hold an entire conversation with nothing more than subtle changes in their facial expressions. I was proud of Enzo because it was obvious he had no plans of backing down. Unfortunately, he'd gotten his stubborn streak from his mama, so it could be a long battle.
I squeezed Enzo's fingers to get his attention. "Why don't you run out to the nurses' station and see if you can find out her restrictions? She won't starve if she waits to eat until Tony can get up here."
"The doctors won't like that, sir," the orderly informed me.
"Yeah, well they're not going to be happy if she refuses to eat, either. As Enzo told you, her son is a chef, and he'll follow whatever the doctors tell him to the letter. Hell, he'll probably pay closer attention than your kitchen staff does." I motioned for Enzo to go, leaving me to deal with the nervous orderly. He paused as he passed, sliding his hand over the top of my shoulders. I looked up, recognizing the longing and gratitude in his eyes. "For now, leave the tray here. You've done your job. We'll make sure she eats lunch, one way or another."
The orderly gave me a curt nod and left after recording her delivery on the computer in the corner. Silence descended on the room once she was gone. Even the ambient noise in the corridor was missing. Mama and I watched one anothe
r, neither of us saying a word. This room was all wrong for her. It was dark and cold, devoid of the life I was used to whenever she was around. I couldn't do anything about the scent of antiseptic and bland food, but I could make it a bit cheery.
Her eyes tracked me as I walked around the end of the bed to the windows. It was a sunny day outside. Cold, but that was to be expected this late in the fall, and she wouldn't notice it from inside the stifling room. Her face brightened as soon as I opened the blinds, flooding the room with sunshine. "Thank you...Max. Come. Sit with me."
I reclaimed my chair beside her bed and watched her gaze longingly out the window. The scenery wasn't much to look at, but it had to be an improvement over staring at the dry erase board opposite her bed and the TV hung near the ceiling. It was odd, but my mind caught on the television and how I'd never seen her lazing around watching it when we'd visited. Now that I thought about it, I wasn't sure she even owned a TV.
"You love him." It was a statement, not a question. Three simple words delivered without the struggle she'd shown since our arrival.
"Tony?" If she glared at me, I wouldn't know because I was busy memorizing the patterns in the linoleum floor.
"I'm sick...not dumb," she scoffed. "They're...good boys. Special. Be...be good...to them."
"I will," I promised. My chair screeched as I dragged it closer to her bed. I took her hand in mine, caressing the silky, thin skin with my thumb. It'd be easy for me to leave the conversation there, but I was overcome with a need to explain myself to her, make her understand I wasn't just fucking around with her sons. I'd be in their lives as long as they'd have me. "I know it's an odd situation, but I love both of them. None of us meant for it to happen, but I'd like to think they're as happy as they make me. It's a gift, and I'll always cherish their love."
"Not strange to a mother." She'd worked hard to keep her words in the right order, and I felt tears welling in my eyes. She might not have given birth to me, but she was everything my own mom had never been capable of being. Unlike too many parents, she understood and truly offered unconditional love. "I worry for them. Their bond...unique."
She grunted in frustration as she tried putting together the words she needed to say. Her eyes kept shifting to the door, giving me the impression she wanted to say something to me before Enzo came back. I placed my other hand over the top of hers and patted it a few times. "There's no hurry. You're doing great given everything you've been through this week."
Mama nodded. Her shoulders relaxed, and she settled against the pillows. "They need...each other. Strong man to...love and...understand them. You don't...judge."
My mouth fell open, and my eyes widened. I nodded, agreeing with what she said while also wondering if this was a symptom of her stroke or if she'd already realized there was something different about her sons. I swallowed a few times trying to get my breathing under control before saying anything else. I felt like I was standing at the fulcrum of a teeter totter and the slightest wrong move could send me crashing to the ground.
"It's okay...Max. I could never...hate them." She lifted a hand to her chest and held it over her heart. "You can't deny...who you love. Even if it's...different. You fight for them. With them."
"Always."
No other words were said. I continued rubbing Mama's hand as she drifted off to sleep. I looked up when Enzo walked back into the room, inviting him to sit with me. Later, when Tony was with us, I'd tell them about our chat. Until then, I could only hope her words had been from the heart and not borne out of drug-induced confusion.
Chapter Twenty
Tony
None of my brothers were surprised when I told them Mama was refusing to eat the food offered by the hospital. It seemed she'd put up a fuss every time a meal was brought in, and the others had been sneaking her food whenever they visited. Without a word, Freddie pulled a chicken breast out of the prep cooler and tossed it on the grill. Frankie rounded the cold station and started tossing cut fruits and veggies into a carryout container.
"We'll take over from here," Matteo told me. In the time he'd been with Levi, he'd become much more focused and assertive. His kitchen calamities were a rarity instead of an every day occurrence. "You need to go see her."
I felt guilty I hadn't spent more time at the hospital with Mama. Every time I saw her lying in the bed, my mind jumped to every outcome other than her giving the doctors a hard time and critiquing the food quality. I obsessed over what would've happened if she hadn't come to Marino's that day, if she'd been puttering around in the back dining room later in the day when I'd have been busy getting the main area ready for another busy Friday night. I pictured her lying on the floor, the color draining from her body as she stared up at me with panicked eyes.
Matteo pulled me into the dry storage room and held my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. "Enzo told me you've spent most of your time in the waiting area. Why?"
"I hate it, Teo," I admitted. "I know it's wrong, but I can't stand seeing her like that. I can't stop thinking about how close we came to losing her. I can't go through that again."
His fingers dug into my flesh. The little shit was stronger than I'd given him credit for. "You think we're not all feeling that way? But she's doing well. You're letting your fear keep you from seeing that she's going to be fine. Take her lunch and see how she reacts. That'll go a long way to helping ease your fears."
Maybe it'd help the panic over how close she'd come to dying, but I didn't trust myself around Enzo and Max in front of her. It'd only been a few hours since I'd seen them, yet all I wanted was to collapse against their chests and feel the safety of their arms around me. We'd briefly talked this morning about how to deal with telling Mama that Max was with both of us and decided it would be best to not say anything until she was out of the hospital. We weren't going to lie to her, but we also didn't feel the need to add any potential stress when she should be focusing on healing. That meant I could probably get away with holding onto Max for security, but having one without the other was like Thanksgiving dinner without the pie. It was good, but not enough.
"I never said I wouldn't take her lunch," I argued because it was better to focus on the parts of his criticism that didn't leave me spiraling out of control. Plus, I hated the idea of admitting the baby of the family had just effectively put me in my place. And I wasn't the type of guy who skipped a holiday meal just because he couldn't have his favorite dessert. That thought made me chuckle, which caused Matteo's face to twist in concern. He reached out to pat my arm, and I backed away. "I'm fine, Matteo. It's been a long-ass week, and I'm just tired."
"Whatever you say." He quickly bagged the food our brothers had prepared for Mama—and apparently for Enzo and Max as well because there was no way Mama was eating that entire mountain of food on her own. "Spend the afternoon with her, and then go home with the guys. We'll pick up you and Enzo around eight."
"Huh?" I scratched the back of my head, trying to find the detail of this conversation that was still locked in Matteo's bizarre mind. I knew damn well we hadn't made plans, and it wasn't anyone's birthday.
Matteo handed me the first bag and grabbed the other two. The staff called out messages for me to pass along to Mama as I wove my way toward the back door. Matteo bumped the door and held it open for me. I squinted against the sudden brightness. Days like today, it was easy to lose track of time and forget that while the dining room was illuminated by carefully set artificial light to create a romantic atmosphere, the sun glared on the other side of the heavily tinted glass.
"We talked about it this morning, and we're not letting you hide. I think Frankie's better about the three of you being together now that he's had time to cool off a bit, but if I'm wrong, Da— Levi said we need to stand by you and show him he's the one in the wrong here, not you or Enzo or Max. We haven't all gone out together since the night you got busted drooling all over Peter—"
"Did you see him? He was fucking gorgeous!" It had been over a month since my brot
hers had given me shit for lusting after Freddie's fiancé, so I supposed I was due another dose of humiliation. "If any of you assholes had warned me ahead of time, I wouldn't have made an ass out of myself."
"Hey, I'm not one to judge another's kink. Between him and Max, it's no wonder you were a walking, talking boner the rest of the night. Some guys are into dudes with long hair and realistic looking boobs, others are into—" Matteo stopped short, his cheeks burning red. That was the closest he'd come to admitting the kink we'd all realized bound him to Levi. If him almost calling Levi daddy on a regular basis hadn't given him away, the way they acted around one another would have. "Anyway, I'm just trying to make sure you know we're not judging you for anything, cross-dressing, poly relationships, or anything else that makes you happy. You get what I'm trying to say here?"
I thought I did, but I was terrified to reveal too much and realize I'd been mistaken. A knot of emotion formed in my throat. I tossed the bag of food I'd been carrying into the passenger seat of my car and threw my arms around Matteo. In the end, it didn't matter what support he thought he was offering me; it was enough to know that he was on our side and wasn't going to cut us out of his life. "Thanks, buddy. For everything."
"Anytime."
I stiffened when Matteo kissed my cheek. How many times throughout our lives have all of us kissed one another without thinking anything of it? While I knew for certain Papa never would've condoned what Enzo and I were doing, it was impossible to deny our ability to love had been influenced by him. He was probably rolling over in his grave since all five of his sons had come out as living somewhere on the rainbow, but I had to believe he'd also begrudgingly defend every single one of us because we weren't afraid to love freely, and that included not believing the bullshit that real men didn't hug or kiss their siblings. Okay, so there was a line there Enzo and I had crossed, but that was an invisible line we'd all agreed never needed to be revealed.