“Leave me alone,” I said, still refusing to look at him.
“I can’t,” he replied. “How can I let go of the best thing that’s ever happened to me?”
His words made me stop. They were somewhat cliché, but I couldn’t just ignore them. I slowly turned to look at him and I was shocked when I saw the boy before me. Cole had dark rings under his eyes, his hair was messy, and his clothes looked crinkled, as though he’d slept in them. He looked utterly wrecked, but I wasn’t going to let myself feel any sympathy for him. I just wished my heart agreed with my head, because I couldn’t seem to stop it from clenching with worry.
I had planned to fire some scathing remark at him, but I just didn’t have it in me. “Look, I’m really upset by what happened and I don’t feel ready to talk to you. I’ll only say something I’ll regret or something that will hurt you. Can I please just have some space?”
Cole took a step back from me and nodded. Just asking for space looked like it had hurt him enough.
“Whatever you want, Madi. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy,” he replied.
My stomach lurched at his comment. They weren’t the words of a guy who was interested in another girl. But I couldn’t give myself room to hope that maybe I was mistaken.
“I have to get to class.” I hurried away from him before he could respond. I could feel him staring after me, and as I went to turn the corner, I hazarded a glance back.
Cole stood exactly where I'd left him, looking completely broken by our encounter. I knew my heart was aching after losing him, and seeing him now I began to wonder if maybe his heart was aching too.
23
Cole
I didn’t want to be dramatic, but it felt like I was having the worst week of my life. The episode on Sunday night was brutal, and I was still thinking about it as I slumped into my usual seat at lunch on Monday.
I knew Angus had filmed my reaction to Madi leaving the campsite, but I hadn’t expected him to show it. It was pretty hard to watch as I broke down in the middle of the woods. Nobody wants to see themselves that wrecked on film.
The footage had reminded me of some kind of raw live-action documentary. Angus had filmed as he ran through the woods, and the sound of shouting could be heard in the distance.
“Something’s going on,” he said to the camera, pointing the lens in his own direction as he ran. “I can hear some of the contestants shouting. I think there’s been some sort of fight.”
When the camera finally caught up with us, the spotlight shone on Willow’s angry face before she turned and stormed away. Then Angus focused the lens on me as I slammed my fist into the tree.
Thankfully, Angus had decided to take my threat about breaking the camera out of the final edit. He wanted drama and he wanted angst, but apparently he still wanted people to somewhat like me.
He’d left the whole episode up in the air. As the show ended, he walked away from the scene and spoke to the camera once more. “Tune in next time to see the fallout from True Love’s dramatic camping trip,” he said. “And don’t forget to vote. Any one of your favorite contestants could be Cole’s next pick to leave. We don’t know who he was fighting with, but we do know that he has strong connections with all four of the girls and we don’t want him to eliminate your favorite before they get a chance to make up!”
I was really beginning to feel like Angus lived for the drama the contest was causing.
I had hoped that school wouldn’t be too difficult today, but everyone was asking me what had happened. They wanted to know why I looked so distraught, what the fight was all about and who it had been with. I just shrugged off all their questions or told them to ask the girls themselves.
I tried to speak with Madi, but she totally shot me down. I couldn’t blame her. The whole thing had looked terrible. I just didn’t know what to do to fix things.
As I sat at the lunch table, I couldn’t stop myself from constantly glancing at Madi. She didn’t look my way at all though. I kept waiting for her to lift her beautiful eyes and catch me watching. But her gaze was firmly locked on her tray of food. Not that she was eating. I didn’t see her touch her food at all.
“What happened on Friday night?” Tanner asked as he came to sit beside me. I let out a long and pained breath as I tore my eyes away from Madi and focused on him. “There was a misunderstanding,” I replied, glancing down to the other end of the table where Laurie was seated. I wasn’t sure if I could dislike the girl any more than I already did. But seeing her there flirting with Jake made my blood boil.
“What kind of misunderstanding?” Tanner asked.
“The kind that Madi will probably never forgive me for.” I didn’t really want to repeat the details of what happened in the cafeteria. I’d have to tell Tanner when we were somewhere more private.
Tanner must have understood how I felt because he didn’t press me any further. “She’ll come around,” he said.
But I shook my head. “I don’t even know how to begin to fix things. She won’t talk to me.”
“Maybe give her some time. Sometimes things don’t seem so bad when we’ve had a few days to think them over. I’m sure she’ll realize that whatever happened was just a mistake.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
Tanner grinned at me. “You’re Cole Kingston. You’ve helped us win some impossible games before, and you’ll figure out a way to win her back too.”
I really wished I shared his confidence, but it felt like I was in a game where we were down by fifty points in the fourth quarter and there was absolutely no coming back.
When the selection ceremony came around that night, I was prepared to beg Madi to stay in the competition with me. I no longer cared that the cameras were watching. I needed that girl in my life like I needed air to breathe.
Just before the show went to air, Angus pulled me aside. “Madi’s not coming tonight,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“She’s not taking part in the competition anymore. She’s pulled out,” he explained.
“And you’re only telling me now?” I raised my voice, but I couldn’t help it. I was panicking. “How could you let her go?”
“I didn’t let her,” he replied. “I called her tonight to tell her she had to come, but she wouldn’t budge. She won’t listen to reason, so I’m going to announce she’s sick and she’ll need to be one of your eliminations.”
“Right.” I paced away from him, blowing out a frustrated breath. “Who am I supposed to pick then?” I didn’t want to pick any of the girls. There was only one I wanted, and apparently she was no longer an option.
“Eliminate Madi, of course, and Willow,” Angus replied. “She gets the fewest votes.”
“And if I don’t want to?”
“Just stop being difficult, Cole. We’re about to go live in five minutes.”
I swore. I couldn’t accept the decision to eliminate Madi in five years, let alone five minutes. Especially not while I was still trying to get her back.
When I walked out to meet the three remaining girls, my stomach dropped. Seeing them waiting there for me felt so wrong. The only one who looked happy to see me was Laurie. Willow and Teagan were both glaring at me like I was the devil. There was a distinct gap between the pair of them and Laurie, and it was clear they were just as angry as I was after her performance on Friday night.
Right before we started filming, Angus whispered the audience's pick in my ear and I froze. It was Laurie. My eyes widened as I turned to Angus. “I can’t pick her,” I said.
“You have to,” he whispered back. “We had over one hundred thousand people watching last night. Don’t let them down.”
I wanted to argue back, but Skye started counting down.
“Going live in three, two, one…”
As I stared at the camera, I wondered if the many thousands of viewers could see my fear. Could they tell that I was freaking out? That I felt physically ill at the thought of saying an
yone’s name aloud other than Madi’s?
“Welcome everyone. We are in the final week of Cole’s search for true love and this is the last selection ceremony before he picks his date for the formal,” Angus said. His fake smile was plastered to his face as he eyed the camera, and his words felt just as disingenuous. How could this really be a search for my true love, if the girl I loved wasn’t even here?
“After the eventful episode last night, we know you’re all desperate to hear the selections for this evening,” Angus continued. “Unfortunately, one of your favorites, Madi, is out sick tonight. But we promise she’ll be better for Saturday night if she gets selected to continue. So, let’s get right to it. Cole, who was the audience choice for tonight?”
I held two half-heart pieces of paper in my hands, and I kept shuffling them one over the other as I stared at the girls. Looking at Laurie, I knew I couldn’t announce her name. If I wanted any chance to be with Madi, I couldn’t pick Laurie even if she was the audience’s choice. Not when she was behind all the horrible names on Madi’s locker and especially not after what happened on Friday night.
“Cole?” Angus prompted.
I could feel sweat beading on my forehead. There was so much pressure to please the audience, but every part of this felt wrong. I knew the True Love competition was supposed to have been a bit of fun, but it had become very real to me. My feelings for Madi were the truest thing I’d ever experienced, and I couldn’t betray those feelings for anything.
My hand scrunched up the little hearts as it squeezed into a fist. “I’m not doing this,” I said. “I’m sorry, girls, but I can’t send any of you home tonight.”
Not so much as a breath sounded in the room and shocked expressions spread across everyone's faces. The girls all looked between one another, while the camera crew were all shooting Angus concerned looks.
“Err, Cole,” Angus said. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” He still looked stunned by my announcement, and I could hear the uncertainty in his voice.
“Yes, I’m sure,” I replied, still focused on the girls before me. “Girls, all four of you are still in the competition. I will still be selecting one of you as my date for formal, but that decision will be made at the formal this weekend.”
With that, I strode away without looking back.
“Well, wasn’t that a shock, folks?” Angus said, his voice slightly more confident now. “After that, you’ll definitely need to tune in to our broadcast this Saturday night. We’ll be filming live from the Lincoln High formal where all will be revealed, and Cole will make his final decision. I know I’m excited, and I hope you are too!”
Angus wrapped things up for the camera quickly, but he came straight after me as soon as the filming was done.
“What the hell was that, Cole?” he yelled. “You can’t do that!"
I shook my head. “I can, and I just did.”
“This is because of Madi, isn’t it?”
I nodded since there was no point denying it.
Angus looked at me like I was pathetic. “I don’t think Madi will be going to the formal this weekend…"
I scowled at him. “Don’t worry about her. I’ve got a plan. It's all going to work out."
Angus looked at me like I was crazy, but he was left without a choice. The damage had already been done.
“We’ll be talking about this tomorrow,” he said. “And your plan better be brilliant.” Or else, his eyes added.
He didn’t need to convince me though, and I thoroughly agreed with him. I no longer cared about the contest, but my plan needed to be brilliant or there would be no winning Madi back. And that was all I cared about at this point. This was my last chance, and I needed it to work.
24
Madison
“Cole refused to eliminate any of the girls last night,” Hayley said when I got in her car on Tuesday morning.
I frowned and focused intently on securing my seatbelt. I could feel Hayley’s eyes on me as she waited for a response, but I was still trying to process what she’d said. What did that even mean? I wasn’t sure whether to be happy or sad.
“Madi?” Hayley reached out and grabbed my arm when I failed to reply.
“I thought you were boycotting the rest of the contest,” I said, finally meeting her gaze.
“Think of it more as recon,” she said. “I was gathering intel so neither of us would be completely blindsided at school today.”
I didn’t mind that she’d watched the show; I just wasn’t sure if I was ready to hear what happened in the latest episode. It was tough to avoid True Love talk at school though, so I guess Hayley had a point.
“So, what happened?” I asked, resigning myself to the fact I’d find out one way or another.
“Cole had the hearts in his hand and was standing there ready to announce who the audience had selected when he scrunched them up and told the cameras he was refusing to choose. He told the girls that they were all still in the competition and that he would be making his final selection on Saturday at the dance.”
“Wait, so he’s not taking one of the girls to the formal?” I asked.
Hayley shrugged. “They didn’t exactly go into the details of what was planned. They said they’d be filming it live, so I guess we’ll find out at the dance on Saturday. You should have seen the look on Angus’ face. He obviously wasn’t expecting it.”
I bit my lower lip as I tried to figure out how to tell Hayley I wouldn’t be going to the formal. Knowing her, she’d probably stop the car and refuse to keep driving me to school until I agreed to go. I couldn’t keep it from her though, and I didn’t like to lie.
“I’m not going on Saturday,” I blurted out in a rush.
Hayley just laughed. “Of course you are. You got a dress weeks ago.”
“I was going with Jake back then,” I replied. “I just don’t feel up to it after everything that’s happened.”
“Don’t be silly, of course you’re still going,” Hayley replied. “It would be like dress cruelty to buy an outfit that hot only to leave it abandoned in your closet.”
I shook my head at her, a smile playing on my lips. Only Hayley could believe an unworn dress was unfair on the garment. It didn’t change how I felt though. But before I could try to argue, Hayley continued.
“Look, I know you’re going through a tough time right now. But you’re my best friend and I want you to be happy. We’ll have fun at the formal, just you and me, and it will help take your mind off the whole Cole thing. We can go stag together, and if you’re miserable, we’ll leave, go back to your house, eat our body weight in ice cream and finish that season of Riverdale. What do you think?”
“That you’re a pretty awesome friend.”
Hayley smiled. “I know. Does that mean you’re in?”
“How can I say no when the backup date is with ice cream?”
Hayley let out a little whoop in excitement. “Yes, girl. We are going to have so much fun. Although how ice cream is what convinced you and not cute boys on Riverdale, I'll never understand.”
When we entered the school, my day seemed to turn around a little more. Everyone had been watching me yesterday, but today they were all so focused on Cole's surprise announcement at the selection ceremony last night that I was barely noticed. It was really nice to be old news, though a couple of people did stop me in the hallway to tell me they still hoped that Cole and I would work out.
I was moving between classes when I somehow found myself trailing behind Laurie. She was with Brooke and Sally who were walking on either side of her and lapping up her every word. I considered slowing down so I didn’t have to share the same air with them, but then I was instinctively drawn closer when I heard what they were talking about.
“How do you even know your name was on the audience card?” Sally asked. Her voice was lowered, like she was worried about being overheard.
“Because I convinced Angus to put it there, obviously,” Laurie replied, flicking her long p
onytail over her shoulder as she looked at her friend.
“And you think he did it?” Brooke slowly asked.
Laurie gave a little laugh. “He did it the previous week; why wouldn’t he do it this week?” She looked between the two of them before she continued. “Angus just wants a good show and more money raised. It didn’t take much to convince him that the viewers are watching because of me, and not the other girls.”
“But who really won the audience vote?” asked Brooke.
“Madi, of course,” Laurie snapped. “They must only be voting for her out of pity. But she has quit the show now anyway, so who cares.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, and I couldn’t stop myself from calling out from behind Laurie.
“You cheated to stay in the competition?” I asked.
Laurie swiftly turned and her eyes narrowed on me. “Speak of the devil. I’d hardly call it cheating.”
“What would you call it then?”
She folded her arms over her chest, a smug smile forming on her lips. “Good television,” she replied. “You almost ruined the show, and I saved it.”
I shook my head at her. “It’s a charity dating contest, Laurie. It’s pretty sad you felt the need to cheat.”
Laurie laughed. “This coming from Miss Unfortunate herself? What’s your sob story this week? Oh yeah, that’s right. Cole wants me not you.”
“Laurie…” Brooke warned.
“Shut it, B,” Laurie hissed.
Brooke took her sister’s arm though and yanked her around so they were facing each other. “Madi doesn’t deserve any more of your crap, so I think you need to be the one to shut it. You know the kind of hell she went through last year after you spread all those rumors about her because of the list. Then you went and destroyed her locker. Hasn’t she had enough?”
Laurie stood, her mouth wide as she stared at her twin. Brooke had always seemed to follow along with whatever Laurie wanted, but I guess she’d finally had enough.
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