“Lawson can’t know yet,” I supply. It has thrown my plans into disarray. I can’t whisk my family away now. Not without tipping Lawson off. If he finds out before things are agreed with The Outfit, he might do something to hurt Rowan or Sierra. I remember how little regard the man had for his youngest daughter, and I can’t believe her status as a single mother has elevated her higher in his esteem. Joseph Lawson has always been a heartless cruel bastard. If he believes Sierra’s connection to me might damage his business arrangement with The Outfit, he will take steps to eliminate the problem.
Leo kills the engine and turns around to face me. “Either way, this only means one outcome.”
I pin him with a pointed stare. “I’m well aware of what it entails.”
A smirk creeps over his mouth. “How the hell do you plan to marry two women?”
“I’ll become a Muslim and move to Africa,” I dryly state.
He loses the smirk, addressing me with a serious tone. “Salerno will never accept it if you marry Sierra.”
“Saverio hasn’t called in his favor yet,” I remind him, staring out the window at the bungalow. My son’s bike is propped against the side wall, and a messy ball of emotion catches in my throat.
“It’s only a matter of time. The girl will be of age next year.”
Tearing my gaze from the blue and yellow bicycle, I eyeball my friend. “Maybe this was the solution all along.” Saverio might lose his shit if I marry Sierra before he can ask me to marry his daughter, Anais, but it’s not my fault he delayed calling in his favor, and we never discussed the specifics. I have made no commitment to marry Anais, so he can’t hold it against me, even if he is pissed. I’ll be thirty-six next year, and I have zero desire to marry a bride half my age.
“You have always been adamant about not getting married,” Leo adds.
“As have you.”
He stares wistfully into space. “For different reasons,” he mumbles, and I nod.
I know why I have never considered it—loving a woman will weaken me in the eyes of my enemy and any wife I take will be an obvious target. I have never wanted the distraction or wanted to put any woman in that position. Everything has changed now. As the mother of my child, Sierra is an automatic target whether I marry her or not. At least as my wife, I can offer her some additional protection, while ensuring my son is well-guarded and a permanent fixture in my life.
I want to get to know him, and that means Sierra is a natural part of the deal. I’m still mad at her, but I would never take her away from her son. I want Rowan to grow up with both parents in his life, enjoying a stable, secure family home where he will be loved, supported, and nurtured. I want him to have all the things that were lacking in my life when I was his age.
When I talk to Sierra about this, I will make it clear my decision is a way of keeping her safe and nothing more. I have no time for love, and she needs to understand that at the outset. I won’t cheat or take a mistress as long as she agrees to sex. She’s adventurous and responsive in bed, and I will enjoy fucking her. I will ensure she is satisfied, cared for, and not wanting for anything, but love is off the table. I don’t have time for it, and I can’t afford the distraction.
Leo is still pensive, staring at nothing. I know why he no longer considers marriage an option—because he lost the only woman he would ever consider marrying to another. Not that he will ever admit it, but I know. I have always noticed the way he looks at Natalia. “It’s a moot point right now,” I say, and his gaze snaps to mine. “If I told Sierra my intention is to marry her, she would go for my jugular.”
Leo chuckles. “Something tells me you will have your hands full with that one.”
“Don’t I know it.” Sierra is not going to make any of this easy for me. Her reaction last night made that very clear. Losing my temper and almost choking her to death didn’t help either. I sigh, curling my hand around the door handle as my cell pings. Extracting my phone from the inside pocket of my suit jacket, I read my new text. “Gifoli has agreed to meet. Tomorrow morning at ten. He will send us the coordinates in due course.”
“I will organize transport immediately for the men we agreed to.”
I nod. “You’ll attend to that other matter too?”
“Phillip has already sent me the details of the homeowners. I will have a house secured by the end of the day.”
I climb out of the Merc and shut the door the same time Alessandro steps out of the SUV. “Did everything go okay?” I ask him when we are side by side.
He nods, fighting a yawn. “Frank is outside her sister’s place.”
“Good,” I say though it does little to ease the tightness in my chest. I won’t rest easy until Rowan and Sierra are safely hidden behind the towering walls of my Greenwich estate, far away from prying eyes. It pains me to have to leave them here for the moment, but I am putting things in motion to ensure they are protected. If I could conduct my business from Chicago, I would stake temporary roots here, but I can’t.
“I still can’t believe you have a son though you only need to look at the little guy to know he’s yours,” Alessandro says, showcasing a rare smile.
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” I admit. I told Frank and Alessandro what is going on last night as they are the only two men I trust to guard my son and his mother. Outside of my father and my sister, only Leo, Frank, Alessandro, and Ian—the backup nighttime guard Leo will shortly be putting on a plane—will be aware of my heir’s existence. I’m not personally familiar with Ian, but Frank and Leo vouched for him—he’s their cousin, on their mom’s side—and that’s good enough for me.
Telling anyone else is too risky.
Especially right now.
“Don’t worry, boss. We will keep them safe.”
I clamp a hand on his shoulder, nodding before I walk toward Sierra’s front door.
The door swings open before I can knock, and Sierra appears in the doorway. Her hair is in a messy bun on top of her head, and her face is devoid of makeup, clearly highlighting the bruising shadows under her eyes and the worry lines on her brow. She obviously got as little sleep as I did last night. Her black yoga pants mold to her slim toned legs, and her top hangs off one shoulder, offering a glimpse of tantalizing skin. She’s barefoot, and her toenails are painted an oxblood-red color. I don’t have a foot fetish, but looking at her dainty manicured feet and her dark-red nails, I could easily develop one. I have a strange urge to suck on her tempting toes.
Sierra is effortlessly beautiful in a way most women aren’t. She’s not even trying. She has made zero effort on my behalf, and that only makes me appreciate her more. She is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, and that’s not counting the inner beauty that radiates from her every pore.
Sierra is a good person, and I hate that I am dragging her into my world, but that decision was taken out of my hands years ago.
The moment she got pregnant, her fate was sealed.
I’m not the only one doing the checking out. Determined green eyes roam over every inch of my body as Sierra drinks me in. If she is disappointed I’m wearing a business suit and not casually attired, she doesn’t show it. We haven’t said one word yet, and she silently steps aside to let me enter. After she closes the door, I follow her into the kitchen. “Coffee?” she inquires, lifting one brow, and I nod. “Do you take cream and sugar?” I shake my head. “Black. Just like your soul. Got it,” she adds with the merest hint of humor.
That raises a slight smile. Removing my suit jacket, I hang it on the back of one of the kitchen chairs. I take a seat at the dark wood table, letting my gaze wander around the homey room as I roll my sleeves to my elbows. Sierra has painted the kitchen cupboards a soothing pale blue, and it works well against the speckled marble countertops and the cream tiled floor. A myriad of colorful drawings adorns the buttery walls. Some I clearly recognize as Sierra’s handiwork, but most are my son’s. “I see Rowan inherited your artistic flare,” I say as she sets a mug on the table i
n front of me.
“He loves art, and he’s very talented. But he loves sports and nature and science, and he enjoys reading and playing games too. He’s well-rounded.” She claims a chair at the other end of the table, deliberately keeping her distance.
“I look forward to getting to know him.”
“Is that really what you want?” she asks, running the tip of her finger along the rim of her mug.
I frown. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I want to?”
“I imagine having a kid won’t mesh easily with your lifestyle.”
“It won’t, but we’ll make it work.”
Her expression turns frosty. “We’re not moving to New York.” She drills me with a sharp look. “I’m not uprooting our lives to suit you. This is about doing what’s best for Rowan, and you have a long way to go to convince me having you in his life is what is best for my son.”
Her words piss me off. “I want to be a father to my son. Yes, the world I inhabit may not be ideal, but he will want for nothing. You will want for nothing, and I will ensure you are both safe.”
“Look around,” she says, waving her arm in the air. “Does it look like we want for anything?”
I prop my elbows on the table. “My son is lacking a father. I didn’t think that required spelling out,” I say through gritted teeth. “Don’t push me, Sierra, because you won’t like the way I push back.”
A muscle clenches in her jaw as she glares at me. I see we’re back to this. She was pleasant when I arrived, and I stupidly thought we could discuss this like grown-ups, but it seems she’s determined to press every one of my buttons.
“How did you find out?” she demands, clasping her mug between both her hands. “You never answered me last night.”
“Saskia didn’t tell you?”
Her brow puckers. “Saskia? What’s my sister got to do with it?”
“I was in town for a funeral, and I spotted Saskia on the sidewalk with Rowan. I pulled over to talk to her.”
“Why?”
I lean back in my seat. Honestly, I have no clue why I got Alessandro to stop. Maybe it was gut instinct. Some sixth sense drawing me to my kid. I should tell Sierra that, but maybe it’s time I pushed some buttons of my own. I smirk. “In case you’ve forgotten, I was close with your sister at one time. I wanted to say hi.”
“You wanted to say hi to Saskia?” she repeats, her eyes darting all over my face.
“Is it a crime to say hello to an ex?” I smirk into my coffee as I bring the mug to my lips.
“She never mentioned you,” she retorts, shrugging.
“That might have something to do with her slipping her business card in my pocket and asking me to call her to arrange a hookup.”
Hurt shimmers in her eyes, quickly replaced with anger. “That sounds like Saskia. I can’t imagine her husband being too pleased though. You should tread carefully.”
I bark out a laugh, tapping my fingers on the table. “Felix Barretta doesn’t scare me.”
Shock splays across her face. “You know Saskia’s husband?”
“I looked him up.”
A scowl trips over her pretty face, and I decide to go on a fishing expedition to see what, if anything, Sierra knows.
“What’s he like? What line of business is he in?”
“I don’t know him very well. I’m not close to Saskia, and I don’t spend much time with her or her husband. He travels a lot for work. He’s some kind of business adviser.”
I detect no trace of a lie on her face, which is interesting. I press on. “What about Serena and her husband? Are you close with them?”
A thunderous look washes over her face, and I stiffen. If Gifoli has done anything to Sierra, I will gut him without blinking.
“I’m close to Serena,” she says, smothering her furious expression. “Rowan is only a year older than her son, Romeo, and they are the best of friends. She also has an eight-year-old daughter, Elisa.”
“Why the murderous look?” I ask, draining the last of my coffee.
“It’s nothing.” Getting up, she grabs my mug to refill it. “I’m not close to Alfred. He’s one of my father’s best friends, and to this day, I have no clue why Serena married him. She’s miserable as sin, and he’s a lousy husband. He—” She cuts herself off, handing a full mug of coffee to me.
“He what?” I lift a brow as I blow on the steam rising from my cup.
“He’s away a lot on business too.” She averts her eyes as she plops back in her chair. That wasn’t what she was going to say before she stopped herself. “And before you ask, he’s into importing and exporting.”
I almost spit my coffee out. Is that what we’re calling it these days?
Narrowing her eyes suspiciously, she tilts her head to the side. “Why are you so interested in my sisters’ husbands anyway?”
She seems clueless, and I want to keep it like that, so I reply in a way I know will set her off. I pin her with another smirk. “I’d think it was obvious why I was inquiring about Saskia’s husband.”
21
SIERRA
My blood boils, and I know I shouldn’t say it, but it’s like my mouth is no longer connected to my brain. “Did you fuck her already, or are you waiting for the next time her husband goes out of town?”
I want to wipe the smug smile off his face as he stares at me while drumming his fingers on the table. I shouldn’t care whether he fucks my sister or not. Ben is nothing to me but a sperm donor, and if I have any say, that’s the way it will stay. I haven’t changed my mind. I don’t want him near Rowan.
Maybe Saskia lusting after him could work to my advantage. Maybe he’ll get distracted by her and forget he has a son. “As a kid, I couldn’t understand how you two were together, but I see it now. You two are a match made in heaven. Both narcissistic and cruel. You should get with her before she finds another fuck buddy.”
There was a rumor floating around town last year that Saskia was cheating on Felix, and I didn’t doubt it for a second. The only person Saskia is loyal to is our father. The rest of us are like chump change.
Folding my arms, I glare at him as he sits silently and arrogantly across the table. He’s not reacting to my statement, so I don’t know if I hit my mark. The longer he stares nonchalantly at me, the madder I get. If I had a gun, I wouldn’t hesitate to plant a bullet between his smug brows in this moment.
After what seems like an eternity, he clears his throat and straightens up in his chair. The arrogance slides behind a neutral mask. “I came here to talk about my son, not your sister.”
Spoken like a true politician. But I’m done with talk of my sister too. I just want to get this over and done with so I can get him out of my house. “What do you want, Ben? Because us relocating to New York is off the table.”
“I agree it would be unsettling to move Rowan, so I’ll let you stay here for now—on a few conditions.”
“You’ll let me?” I hiss. “How big of you.” I barely resist the urge to flip him the bird.
Ignoring me, he continues as if I haven’t spoken, and I grip the edge of my seat, grinding my teeth down to the molars. “One, Alessandro and Frank go with you everywhere, and I mean everywhere.”
“Who is Frank?”
“Rowan’s bodyguard. He’s on duty outside Serena’s house now.”
I’m not surprised, and I don’t disagree. I’m not naïve. I know if word got out that Ben had a son all kinds of degenerate scum would target me and Rowan. I won’t jeopardize his safety, so if Ben wants to put protections in place, I won’t argue. “Okay. What else?”
“I’m sending a guy over later to install a new alarm system with exterior cameras and lights. It took me ten seconds to disable your alarm last night.” He drills me with a disapproving look, like it’s my fault the salesman sold me a dud system.
“It’s the standard system most families in the area have in their homes. How stupid of me to not realize it wasn’t mafia proof.” He looks surprised that I know.
“You might have removed every trace of your mob connections from the internet, but I know you’re part of the mafia. Why do you think I want to keep you from Rowan?”
He slams his fist down on the table. “For the last fucking time, Sierra, I am not a danger to my son!”
I jump up, knocking my chair over. “What you do for a living is a threat to my son! The people you associate with are a threat to my son! Your enemies are a threat to my son!” My tirade is interrupted by the vibration of my cell on the counter. With my chest heaving, I pick it up, swiping my finger across the screen. It’s Dion, but I can’t speak to him now, so I dismiss the call, tapping out a quick text telling him I’ll call him later.
“I will keep Rowan safe,” Ben says in a clipped tone, glowering at my cell like it’s done him a personal injustice. “I will keep you safe. We cannot change the fact he is my son. Whether I’m in his life or not, he is at risk, so get the fuck over yourself, Sierra, and sit the hell back down. I am trying to compromise, and you are making this harder than it needs to be.”
A red layer spreads over my retinas, and I’m so enraged I feel like throwing something. “Go fuck yourself, Ben.” I jab my finger in his direction. “You don’t get to dictate to me in my own home, and you sure as fuck don’t get to disrespect me. Your whores might be happy to be treated like shit, but I’m not.”
“Goddamn it.” He scrubs his hands down his face. “Why is everything so difficult with you?!” he shouts.
I like seeing him rattled. I like knowing I get to him in the way he gets to me. I’ll take his anger over cold disdain any day, once he gets the point—I’m not like all his other women, and I’m no pushover. Straightening up my chair, I sit back down, calmly placing my hands in my lap. “I won’t apologize for pushing you when it comes to the welfare of my son. Rowan is my priority. Not you and your hurt male pride.”
His nostrils flare and his fingers twitch, like they long to curl around my neck again. Hell will freeze over before he puts his hands on me without invitation again. He bristles with anger as he glares at me, and I hit him with the same smug arrogance he showed me a few minutes ago.
Condemned to Love:  Page 16