“What are you planning on doing when we get there?” he adds, stuffing the rest of his sandwich in his mouth.
“Getting my family the fuck out of Chicago,” I snap. My patience is in limited supply, and I have no time for stupid questions.
“Woah.” Leo holds up one hand. “I know you’re mad. I’m furious too, but I’m trying to help. We’ll find the bastards and make them pay.”
“I never should have left them in Chicago. I should have taken them to Greenwich last weekend—even if I had to drag Sierra kicking and screaming.”
“It’s not your fault.” Leo leans forward, uncapping a bottle of water. “You got the intel from those Russian scum on Saturday night, and we took care of their base. You couldn’t have known there were more of them hanging around or that someone went rogue. He must have spotted you with Sierra outside the hotel and decided to target her.”
“I am going to find every last one of those scumbags and hang them by their entrails until they bleed out.” I crack my knuckles as a red haze coats my eyes. “No one fucks with my girl and gets away with it.”
Leo’s lips twitch.
“What?”
“It’s just nice to hear you acknowledging it.”
I realize what I said. “Stop. I don’t have time for this now.” I scrub my hands down my face, stifling a yawn. I have barely had any sleep the past few days, working around the clock with Gifoli and The Outfit to hunt down the rest of the Russians, to ensure the city was safe. I would have stayed in Chicago if I didn’t have pressing business in New York. It’s a miracle I’m even able to stand, but the need to protect my family is driving me forward. I just want to take Sierra and Rowan and hole up in my house for a few days.
Leo wisely drops the subject. “You’ll have to admit the truth to Lawson, if he hasn’t already guessed.”
I unbutton the top button of my shirt and loosen my tie—I feel like it’s choking me today. “I know. He was peppering me with questions on the phone, and I told him we’d speak when I arrive. I messaged Sierra, telling her to say nothing. She has been through enough trauma today without being the one to break the news to her father. I want to be there with her when her family finds out.”
Her father has always been a prick to her, and I don’t want him mouthing off at Sierra when I’m not there to protect her. I have no clue how Joseph Lawson will react when he discovers I am Rowan’s father. He was civil and respectful to me at the gala event, with no hint of the derision he used to hold for me in evidence, but the man is a master manipulator, and who’s to say it wasn’t all an act? Gifoli would have told him who I am, and he isn’t stupid. He has provided a service to The Outfit for long enough to know how things happen in mafia circles. He would know to disrespect me places a target on his head and his family by default. So, he could have been playing an expected part.
“He’s a conniving cunt,” Leo says, gulping back water. “He will try to use this to his advantage.”
“He can try, but I’m not the same man he remembers. He can’t shout insults or push me around like he once tried to. I have little love for the man, and Sierra doesn’t either. Only the fact he is Rowan’s grandfather will protect him.”
The plane lands, and we hop on board the helicopter, staying silent as we travel toward the Lawson family estate. I didn’t mention we would be landing on his front lawn when I spoke to Joseph, but if he’s got a problem with it, I’ll be glad to take all my pent-up aggression out on his face.
We arrive fifteen minutes later, jumping out of the helicopter when the pilot confirms it is safe and racing across the lawn toward the open front door. A bunch of expensive cars are parked outside, confirming the rest of the Lawson family is here.
This should be fun.
I cannot wait to wipe the smug expression off Saskia’s face for good—to finally put her in her place. She will be spitting blood when she discovers I am Rowan’s father, and that’s not even the full extent of it.
“Bennett.” Joseph Lawson slaps me on the back as he greets me at the front door. “Thanks for coming.” He nods at Leo and Ciro, stepping aside to let us inside. “Everyone is in the family room,” he says, ushering us into the house.
Leo looks around with his eyes out on stalks, and I get it. The house is impressive, but I always thought it was stuffy with its polished marble floors, glistening chandeliers, ornate furniture, expensive oil paintings, and the pillars and columns that give it an ancient European vibe. My Greenwich home couldn’t be more different with its comfortable furniture and modern aesthetics, but it feels like more of a home than this place.
“Ben!” Sierra jumps up the second I enter the room, and we rush toward one another. She throws herself at me, and my arms automatically lock around her trembling body. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” Being extra careful, I tilt her head up so I can get a proper look at her. I frown when I spot the raised gash on her left cheek. The wound has been cleaned and someone applied ointment, but I wonder if it might need stitches. The thought of her beautiful face being permanently marked doesn’t sit well with me. “You said you weren’t hurt.” I drill her with a look as I gingerly lift her bandaged right hand and glare at the faint bruising forming around her neck.
“I’m okay,” she says. “It’s not broken.”
Anger plows through me at an unprecedented rate, and I wish I could resurrect the bastard who did this to her and kill him slowly and painfully so he understands what happens to any man who dares to hurt my woman. But Sierra needs me to be strong and supportive, so I hide my anger and the sense of helplessness I feel and concentrate on being the man she needs me to be. I hug her closer, careful not to squeeze too tight in case she is hurting anyplace else. I just want to get her home and get her checked out by my doctor to ensure there is no permanent damage.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Saskia barks, and my eyes scan the room for the first time.
I didn’t notice anyone else when I first arrived. My eyes latched on to Sierra, and she was all I saw.
“Saskia, please watch your language,” Georgia Lawson says, approaching me with a smile. “Forgive our eldest daughter, Bennett. It’s good to see you again so soon although I wish it were under different circumstances.”
Judging by Saskia’s reaction and the quizzical expressions on everyone else’s faces, it appears Lawson obeyed my instruction to keep my impending arrival a secret. I knew if he announced I was en route Sierra would be fielding questions alone. It’s good to know Lawson respects my commands, but I still don’t trust him.
Georgia’s troubled eyes move to her youngest daughter. She is clearly concerned. Sierra is still pressed against my body, her slim arms wrapped around me, and I dare anyone to pry her from me.
“Where is Rowan?” I ask, my eyes dancing over everyone else and not seeing him. Gifoli is here with Serena, but I don’t see their kids in the room either. Felix is here too, with his arm flung possessively over a scowling Saskia. He was pretty standoffish with me last weekend, and I’m guessing he is familiar with our history. If he knew I had no interest in his wife, either years ago or now, maybe he would loosen up. Though I doubt it. Being married to Saskia is akin to wearing a permanent chastity belt—she has his balls locked up securely in every sense of the word.
“Ben!” A familiar cute voice screams from someplace behind me, and I turn Sierra and me as one, watching our son racing across the room toward us. A dark-haired girl and boy stand in the doorway, eyeing me with curiosity, and I’m guessing they are the Gifoli sister and brother.
“Hey there, buddy,” I say, the knots in my chest easing when he reaches me. Bending down, I lift him up with one arm, holding both of them close to me.
“Mommy. Ben is here, and it’s not even the weekend.” Rowan grins, leaning across my chest to kiss Sierra on the lips, and it’s the sweetest thing ever. My heart swells, and I think I’m already a lost cause when it comes to these two.
“Oh my God,” Serena exclaims, and I look over at her. Her gaze bounces from me to Rowan, and I can tell she has made the connection. Her eyes are bugging out of her head, and shock is splayed across her face.
“Don’t say—” Sierra starts to speak, to warn Serena not to say anything in front of Rowan, I’m guessing, when she is rudely cut off by the bitch I once dated.
“No fucking way! You’re Rowan’s father?” Saskia yells, pushing her husband away and stalking toward us.
32
BEN
Sierra and I look at Rowan at the same time, and his adorable little face is scrunched in confusion.
Fuck Saskia.
I didn’t want to do this today. I was going to ask Sierra if we could tell him soon but only once they were settled in my home, their home, and Rowan was ready to hear the news.
But, of course, Saskia has to try to make this about her.
Sierra pulls away from me, straightening up to confront her sister, but I’m not letting her get far. I reposition us so we are standing side by side, holding Rowan on my hip on one side and circling my arm around Sierra on the other. We present a united front as a clearly angry Saskia storms right up to us. I watch our son carefully, holding him tighter while I press a kiss to his cheek. “It’s okay, Rowan,” I whisper in his ear. “We will explain everything soon.”
He looks into my eyes, and I want to murder Saskia when I see the lost look on his face. He doesn’t know what is going on, and he is scared and confused.
“Yes, Ben is Rowan’s father,” Sierra says through gritted teeth as Saskia comes to a halt in front of her. If it wasn’t obvious before that Saskia is jealous of her little sister, it is painfully obvious now. “And that is something we wanted to tell Rowan together, privately, when the time is right. I can tolerate you being nasty to me, but you will not hurt Rowan. Why does everything always have to be about you?”
“Because this is about me!” she shouts, and I rub Rowan’s back as he flinches in my arms.
I want to get him out of here before he is even more traumatized. “This has nothing to do with you,” I coldly tell her. “And lower your voice. You’re upsetting our son.”
She waves one bony finger in my direction, and her nostrils flare as steam practically billows from her ears. The skin on her forehead and across her cheekbones is stretched so tight it looks like it might split. Anyone contemplating cosmetic surgery should take one look at Saskia Barretta’s face and reconsider. “Sierra has always wanted everything I had, and that includes you!” she screeches, ignoring my warning and shrieking like a banshee.
“You were never good enough for him,” Sierra says, and although her voice is calm, I can tell she’s angry and ready to explode. “And you couldn’t have been too heartbroken if you married Felix six months later.”
“That was—”
“That’s enough, Saskia,” Joseph Lawson cuts in, pinning his eldest daughter with a ferocious look, before he turns to her husband. “Control your wife before she says something she regrets.”
A loud slap rings out around the room, and my head whips back to Sierra. She’s cupping her injured cheek with her hand, and Saskia’s slap has reopened the cut. Blood trickles down her face, startling Rowan.
“Mommy!” he cries, stretching his arms out, reaching for her.
Quietly, I hand Rowan to Sierra and spin around, grabbing Saskia by the neck. Everything I have been keeping locked up inside ruptures as I tilt her head back and glare at her. My voice is low but deadly and dripping in menace because I want her to get the message loud and clear. “If you ever touch my fiancée again, I will kill you. The same thing goes for my son.” I tighten my grip around her neck as I notice Joseph Lawson restraining an enraged Felix Barretta, whispering something in his ear.
“Ben.” Sierra places her hand on my lower back. “Rowan is frightened,” she quietly adds, and I hear her underlying warning.
That is the only thing she could say to force me to back down. Reluctantly, I let Saskia go, shoving her back at her husband as Lawson releases him. I look down, and my heart hurts when I see Rowan with his face buried in Sierra’s shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably. His small arms and legs are wrapped around her, and his little body heaves.
I’m glad he is facing away so he didn’t see me almost strangling his aunt. I need to rein in my anger for my son’s sake. I want to be the one to console him, but I’m not sure he wants me anywhere near him right now. He is scared and confused, and Sierra is his comfort blanket, so I need to let her look after him while I deal with everything else.
Fuck that bitch Saskia. This is all her fault. I swing bloodthirsty eyes in her direction, wishing I could teach her a lesson. She is lucky, because I’m pretty sure my son just saved her life.
I lower my voice so little ears can’t hear. “Just so we’re clear, Saskia, I never cared about you. I’d just lost my mom and my college dreams when we met. I was lost, and you plucked me up like I was some project. A fixer-upper. If I hadn’t been broken, I never would have lasted longer than one date because you remain, to this day, the most selfish self-absorbed cruel evil bitch to ever walk the planet.” I rake my gaze up and down her body in a deliberately derisory fashion. “I walked away from you that day, and I never gave you a second thought.” It’s the truth. She wasn’t in any way memorable, and I never wondered about her over the years like I wondered about Sierra.
“Sierra is worth a million of you,” I continue, sliding my arm around Sierra’s waist again. “And she is going to be my wife.” Technically, I haven’t asked Sierra yet, but—like she’d say—that’s only semantics. It’s going to happen and soon if I have my way. “That has absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with her being the most amazing woman, the most incredible mother, and the woman I choose to be by my side.”
“She tricked you!” Saskia cries, swiping at the angry tears rolling down her face. “That’s the only explanation that makes sense,” she adds, proving she is clearly delusional and suffering from hearing loss. Everything I just said went in one ear and out the next. There is no speaking to the witch.
Felix eyes me coldly, as if this is my fault. What a pussy. Saskia must be walking rings around him if he can’t see what is staring him in the face. He needs to man up and put that stupid bitch in a muzzle where she belongs.
“Remove your wife from the room before she embarrasses herself further,” Lawson says, drilling Saskia with a look I can’t decipher. Felix throws a belligerent Saskia over his shoulder, and she’s crying and screaming abuse as they exit the room.
“I apologize,” Lawson says to me, sidling up to his wife and wrapping his arm around her so they are almost mirroring our position. “Saskia has a dramatic side we could never quite stamp out.”
Sierra rolls her eyes, but she says nothing, focusing on Rowan as she smooths a hand up and down his back and whispers soothing words in his ear.
Lawson puffs out his chest, preening like a peacock. “It would have been nice to do things the traditional way, but I’m willing to overlook it considering you are finally willing to make an honest woman of Sierra.”
Pompous ass.
Sierra opens her mouth to speak, but I silence her with a subtle shake of my head. I want her to let me handle this while she comforts our son. “I might not have been there for them at the start, but I’m here now, and I’m going nowhere. Sierra and Rowan are my responsibility, and I will take care of them.” Swallowing the surge of internal fear that has risen to the fore, I say, “I will love and protect both of them until the day I die.”
Georgia Lawson holds a hand over her mouth as her eyes turn glassy. “This is wonderful news,” she adds a few seconds later when she has composed herself. “Just wonderful.”
I’m half-expecting Sierra to jump in and confirm nothing is settled, but she’s either as anxious as me to get out of here, more worried about Rowan, or just shell-shocked after the day from hell and too tired to protest.
Seren
a steps in front of us, beaming with genuine happiness. Sierra mentioned they had grown closer over the years and that Serena helped her a lot when Rowan was a baby. I’m glad she has one selfless sister she can rely on. Gifoli is nowhere to be seen, so I figure he took his kids out of the room when Saskia started throwing a hissy fit. “I’m so happy for you, Sierra. You too, Ben.” Her eyes soften when she looks at Rowan. “This is the best news for Rowan.” Leaning in, she kisses the back of his dark head. “He’s such a beautiful boy and such a happy child.”
“He is,” I say, pride suffusing my tone. “And that is all due to Sierra. She has loved and cared for him in a way I appreciate, adore, and can only envy.”
Not that I’m envious of my child or begrudge him his happy childhood. It’s more that he has caused me to reflect on my own unhappy childhood lately, and I’ve been a little melancholy. I have also found myself looking back at my childhood with a slightly different lens, remembering the happy times I shared with Mom, before everything turned to shit, because it wasn’t all bad even though most of the dark memories have snuffed out the happy ones.
Rowan has stopped crying now, and while he is still cradled in Sierra’s arms, his head is angled, and he’s watching me closely.
“You hanging in there, buddy?” I ask, concern overriding every other emotion.
He nods, and I see the same turmoil on his face. We need to get out of here so we can get him settled and talk to him. I don’t want him going to sleep upset or worried. I lock eyes with Sierra. “We should go.”
“There is no rush,” Lawson says. “We have plenty of room and the means to protect you. Besides, your man is still out cold.”
“Not anymore,” Leo says, appearing in the doorway with a drowsy-looking Alessandro. I didn’t even notice Leo had slipped out of the room. Ciro is positioned by the door, wearing his usual dour expression, his arms folded across his bulky chest. Frank and Ian hang back in the hallway, and I spot the duffel bags at their feet.
Condemned to Love:  Page 25