I wonder if that is why no marriage agreement is already in place. Something that is strange for a girl who is nearly eighteen.
Sierra stiffens in my arms, and I’m guessing Saverio’s voice has triggered something in her memory. “It’s okay,” I assure her, sliding her down my body. “He’s here as my guest.” She turns in my arms to face him. “He isn’t a threat to you,” I add. I would kill him before I’d let him come anywhere near Sierra.
“Ms. Lawson. Now this is a surprise,” Saverio says, putting his tablet down.
“Not a pleasant one, I assure you,” Sierra says, still holding on to her anger.
I’m quite happy to let her unleash the rest of her fury in his direction. His daughter is the one who started this, after all.
Though I didn’t help by concealing their presence here. I should have fessed up after she arrived, but things were going so well, and I didn’t want to fuck things up. My motives weren’t entirely selfish though. I also didn’t want her to feel unsafe in her new home, and I know Salerno’s presence here would’ve spooked her—understandably so.
We are negotiating on a property on Salerno’s behalf right now, and they should be moving out in a matter of days. I thought I could get rid of them before Sierra even realized they were here.
Guess I’ve only made it worse, and now she’ll be back to doubting me again. All the progress we have made will be undone.
Great.
“We need to talk,” I tell him, ushering Sierra to the couch across from where Saverio is sitting. I push her down, clamping my arm around her shoulders to keep her in place. “Sierra is my fiancée,” I explain, placing my hand over her lips when she opens her mouth to disagree. “And she lives here now with our five-year-old son.”
Shock splays across his face. “You have a son?” He looks between her and me before emitting a bellowing laugh. “Vegas!” He slaps a hand on his thigh, chuckling. “You conceived in Vegas, and I caught the moment on tape.”
I make a mental note to come back to that as Sierra sends daggers in Salerno’s direction at the reminder.
“That’s not important right now. What is important is that your daughter is running around my property spewing filthy lies when I specifically told you to keep her indoors.”
“Ah. I see.” He grins, and I want to riddle his face with bullets.
I remove my hand from Sierra’s face, pinning her with a cautionary look. “This is no laughing matter, Saverio. Please explain why your daughter is saying she is my fiancée when we both know that is not true.”
He leans forward, clasping his hands on his knees. The overhead light shines directly on his scarred, pockmarked face, and Sierra flinches against me. I squeeze her tightly, reassuring her she is safe. “You are aware, Ms. Lawson, that Ben owed me a favor from that night.”
She nods tersely.
“I had been proposing a marriage agreement between Anais and Bennett for some time before that night. Angelo was open to discussing it, but it was clear Ben wasn’t interested, and he’s not like most made men. I knew he wouldn’t be forced into it, so I was prepared to let it drop. Then you entered the mix, and things got interesting.” He leers at her, letting his gaze drag down her body, and I see red.
“Show my future wife some respect, or you and I have a big problem, Saverio,” I bark.
He holds up his hands. “I apologize. I mean no disrespect. You are a lucky man, Ben. She is even more exquisite than I remember.”
“And you’re even more of a disgusting pig than I remember,” Sierra unhelpfully supplies.
All hint of humor fades from his face, and this is going downhill fast. “Sierra means no disrespect,” I say, clasping my hand over her mouth again. “But she is understandably upset and angry. Anais had no right to say the things she said.”
“She didn’t, and I will have words with her,” he agrees, and some of the tension leaves my body.
“Why does she believe she is going to marry Ben?” Sierra asks, folding her arms and leveling a dark glare in Salerno’s direction.
“That is my fault. I had intended on using the favor I was owed to marry her to Ben, but I was holding back until Anais came of age. I was certain once he took one look at her, his reservations would fade away and he would be happy to agree to it.”
I fix him with a sharp look. “No offense intended, but your daughter pales into insignificance next to my Firefly.” I want to add that Anais is fucking ugly on the inside, but insulting the man while he’s still living in my home—a home where my son lives—is not wise. Saverio has killed men for less. “Sierra is the only woman I have ever loved. The only woman I would ever marry.” I risk pressing my lips to her temple, and I feel her relax a smidgeon against me.
“I will ensure Anais is aware of that.” It’s obvious now that Salerno hadn’t set her straight when they moved here. He was still clinging to the hope I would fall at her feet and agree to marry her, even though he has already called in his favor. I don’t blame him for holding out hope, even if it was futile. His empire has collapsed, and while The Commission is planning a counterattack to regain control of Vegas, a suitable marriage arrangement would go a long way toward restoring his reputation.
“See that she does,” Sierra says. “Because I won’t tolerate being spoken to like that in my own home.”
I inwardly breathe a sigh of relief at her words. I’m sure I’ll be in the doghouse for a while, but no permanent damage has been inflicted. I will grovel, as needed, until she forgives me.
“I’m sorry for any pain it might have caused you,” he says, and I can tell Sierra is surprised at his response. Salerno isn’t always a murdering sleazebag. He shows glimmers of humanity from time to time.
Saverio was shocked to see how ill Angelo is. I’ve managed to successfully hide that intel from most people. The Commission is aware of his condition, and I’m sure most of the other families suspect, because he hasn’t been seen in public for over a year, but I trust Salerno to keep the secret. He knows I have gone above and beyond our favor to help him in his time of need, and I know he won’t forget that in a hurry.
His daughter is another matter entirely. I don’t trust Anais, and she needs to be dealt with. “I want to find out how Anais knew about Sierra.”
He nods. “Agreed, but I suggest I talk to her alone. She will be more pliable without an audience.”
I don’t argue because I’m not sure I won’t strangle the bitch if I’m in the same room as her right now. “I want that to happen tonight, and I want answers.”
“You will get them,” he assures me, so I move on to the next important topic.
“About that tape,” I say before we conclude our conversation. “I would like it back.”
He frowns. “You don’t already have it?” His gaze swings to Sierra. “I thought Tony was your bodyguard?”
“Tony?” Disbelief laces Sierra’s tone as she sits upright. “What has this got to do with my old bodyguard?”
His features soften a little, and I instinctively pull Sierra closer. “He showed up a few months after that night, demanding we hand over the tape. I threw him out, but he broke into my office a few nights later and stole it, along with my laptop. He hacked into our system and wiped all traces of the video from our servers. I assumed he had sent it to you.”
Sierra flops back on the couch, looking at me with shell-shocked eyes. “I told him everything when I discovered I was pregnant, but I had no idea he would go to Vegas to retrieve the video.” She worries her teeth between her lower lip, and concern fills her face. “I wonder why he never sent it to me or why he never made contact with me again?”
I have a fairly good idea why, and as my eyes meet Salerno’s knowing gaze, I see the truth.
“He probably destroyed all the evidence rather than risk having it fall into the wrong hands,” Saverio says, confirming they didn’t find it when they caught up to him.
Maybe I should say something, but the knowledge that Tony is dead, at
Salerno’s hand, will not keep the peace, and it will only hurt Sierra. Maybe I’m wrong to let her believe Tony is out there somewhere living a full life, but I don’t see how revealing the truth benefits anyone.
Tony died protecting Sierra’s honor, and I owe him a debt I can never repay.
But I can do this for him.
I can let him live on in Sierra’s memory instead of admitting the truth and watching her blame herself for his actions. I didn’t know the man, but I heard enough to know he was a decent, honorable, loyal man, and he wouldn’t want Sierra knowing the truth.
So, I say nothing, bidding Saverio goodbye, as I lead Sierra back to the sanctity of our private rooms.
42
SIERRA
My thoughts veer all over the place as I lie in bed with my back to Ben. I’m so pissed at him for lying to me. How could he let me stay here knowing that disgusting man and his equally obnoxious daughter were sharing the same floor space? Okay, I know I’m probably overreacting a little. This place is ginormous, and we have armed men protecting us, but it didn’t stop that conniving bitch from confronting me outside.
“I want her gone,” I say, knowing instinctively that Ben isn’t sleeping. “I want both of them gone.” I’ve had time to think about the conversation since we left the west wing, and I know Scarface Salerno had something to do with Tony disappearing. I don’t want to contemplate the thought he is in a shallow grave somewhere, but that’s what those guys do. Tony broke into his office and stole from him. There is no way Salerno would have let that pass. There is a slim chance Tony got away before they caught up to him, and maybe I should cling to that hope, but I promised myself I would stop being delusional when it came to this life.
My heart is heavy, and I’m doubting everything again. The thought that Tony might have died doing something to protect me slays me on the inside. What I wouldn’t give for one more day with him so I could tell him how much he meant to me. How much I value everything he did to protect me after Vegas. I owe him a debt I can never repay.
“I will have them moved to a hotel first thing in the morning,” Ben says, without hesitation, and that goes some way toward reassuring me.
But he is still in the doghouse. I’m not forgiving him that easily. “Thank you.”
“Firefly, I—”
“I’m tired, Ben. I don’t want to talk or fight anymore.”
“Fine,” he huffs, and the sheets rustle as he turns on his side, facing the other way.
I hate that we’re fighting, and that Anais is the cause of it, but he needs to realize he can’t keep lying to me.
Things are no less tense the following morning. My sleep was fitful, as was Ben’s, and he looks as miserable as I feel. I retreat to my studio to paint while he takes Rowan outside to the playground.
We meet, just before lunch, to interview the three shortlisted tutors. I discount the first two women immediately when I see how they are looking at Ben, stopping both interviews after five minutes when it is clear they are more interested in my fiancé than my son’s education.
I breathe a sigh of relief when the older gentleman with the salt-and-pepper hair takes a seat on the couch across from us. Mr. Spielberg is a distant relation of the famous movie director, and he has made a career out of tutoring kids on movie sets. He recently returned home to the area, and he has been looking for new work. He has glowing references, he is respectful and articulate, and he emits good vibes. I warm to him instantly, as does Ben, and Rowan seems to like him when we bring him in to say hi. He is gentle and patient with Rowan and appears to enjoy his exuberant personality.
After he is gone, Rowan comes with me to paint while Ben heads to his study to email the man an offer of employment.
Dinner is a tense affair, not that Rowan seems to notice. He practically carries the conversation. Ben insists on bathing him, and as I stand just outside Rowan’s bedroom door forty minutes later, listening to Ben reading Roald Dahl, I notice the strain cording his shoulders and the worry lines etched in his brow.
Stepping away, I walk to the living room to wait for him. I hate this, and I don’t want him returning to the city tomorrow with things so awful between us. We need to talk about it. To try to find a way to move forward that is acceptable to both of us.
I pour Ben a bourbon when I hear him quietly closing Rowan’s bedroom door, bringing my wine and his drink to the coffee table and setting them down. I sit on the couch, waiting until he shows his face.
“We need to talk,” we say in unison, and it helps to ease the stress, a little.
“I poured you a drink,” I say, holding it out to him.
“Thanks. I need it.” He takes a healthy mouthful before sinking on the couch beside me. He puts his glass on the table, and his thigh brushes against mine as he unfolds something in his hand. He smooths out the creases in the paper, spreading the faded drawing on his lap.
My heart jumps in my chest. “You still have it.”
“It’s one of my most precious gifts,” he admits, lacing his fingers in mine. I cling to his hand, savoring his warmth. “Like the woman who drew it.” His blue eyes find my green ones. “I’m sorry, Firefly. I know you are angry at me and you have every right to be. I hate hurting you. Hurting you hurts me too.”
“I appreciate and accept your apology, but how can I trust you if you continue lying to me, Ben?”
“Sweetheart.” He places the drawing on the table, taking both my hands in his as he swivels on the couch. I twist around so we are facing one another. “I want to be honest with you, but it’s not always going to be possible. I hear how shitty that sounds, but let me explain.” His eyes probe mine and I urge him to continue. “There will always be secrets in my world. Things I can’t tell you because to do so places you at risk. That is not an excuse to keep things from you. It’s the cold hard truth.” He squeezes my hand. “As my wife, you will be a target. My job is to keep you safe. Part of that means ensuring you are not exposed to information that could jeopardize your well-being.”
“I understand that, to a point, Ben. But there have to be exceptions. I have to know enough to be vigilant, and to be able to protect myself, and you can’t keep things from me that I need to know.” I peer deep into his eyes. “I needed to know Salerno was here. I needed to know about Anais.”
“I know, and I was wrong to keep it from you. At first, it was because I knew you wouldn’t come here if you knew the truth, and I had to protect you. I don’t think you understand the sheer terror I felt when you called me that day. My only concern was getting you and Rowan out of Chicago to safety.”
“I don’t understand why you couldn’t have just moved Anais and Salerno to a hotel before we arrived. You were able to do it within a few hours this morning.” I was delighted to see them being driven away just before lunch. Good riddance.
“The situation is extremely dangerous with the Russians right now. They have control of Vegas, and it was a bloody battle. Salerno was injured, defeated, and putting them in a hotel would have been too risky.”
“Yet you moved them to one now.”
“I did that for you.”
“Are you saying they are at risk?” I don’t like the man or his daughter, but I don’t want to be responsible for their deaths either.
“Yes, but my team is working around the clock to close the deal on their new property, and I put more of my soldiers on protection duty.”
“I feel bad now.”
He tucks a piece of my hair behind my ears. “Don’t. You are my priority. You and Rowan. And they will be okay for a couple of days.”
“Did you find out how Anais knew about me?”
His face hardens. “The little bitch followed us that night we walked in the woods. She eavesdropped on our conversation and put things together. Rather than confronting her father, she decided to try and chase you off.”
“How old is she?”
“Seventeen.”
“Wow. She’s vicious for someone so young.”
“A lot of the women brought up in our circles are. It’s a conundrum. Most seem to be either wholly innocent or spitefully evil. There doesn’t appear to be much middle ground.”
“I’m not sure that’s true or fair. Natalia isn’t like that.”
“You’re right. She isn’t, and I shouldn’t generalize.”
“You are being very conciliatory tonight,” I admit, extracting one of my hands from his so I can raise my glass of wine to my lips.
“I don’t like fighting with you, and I don’t want to let things fester between us. Today was shitty, and that’s not how I want to start our relationship.”
“Me either.”
“Am I forgiven?” he asks, arching a brow.
“Are you going to keep lying to me about things I need to know?”
He cups one side of my face. “Sierra. I will be as honest with you as I can. I promise to give you the information you need to be vigilant and to be cognizant of anything you need to know that impacts you personally.”
“Okay.”
Air whooshes out of his mouth in grateful relief, and a layer of stress seems to lift from his shoulders. “I didn’t think you would forgive me so easily.”
“There is nothing easy about it, Ben, but I don’t believe in holding grudges or withholding forgiveness. Grudges are poisonous and difficult to weed out once they have set in. You have apologized and promised not to do this again, so I would be in the wrong to cling to my anger, to fail to forgive you. That is not how I want our relationship to be.”
He kisses the corner of my mouth. “Every day, you amaze me more. Every day, you make me want to be a better man.” He kisses the other corner of my mouth. “I know I’m not worthy of you, Firefly. I know I have fucked up, that I will likely fuck up again, but I promise to continue trying to be the man you deserve. I have spent my life alone. My work has been my wife. This is all new to me, but I am trying.”
“I know you are, and I love you for that.” Alesso, Natalia, and Angelo have all remarked on the changes they see in Ben, and I see it myself. When he is with me, he has lowered a lot of his guards. That harsh, cold exterior has cracked wide-open, and he’s showing me the man he is underneath. The man I always knew he could be.
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