Furious, he releases me, shoving me backward onto the bed, and walks away, keeping his back to me as he stands near the door. “If that is the case, then why did your mother put Cait in my path and allow me this opportunity at all?”
“So you may possibly find yourself for once.… And from what Jaiteru sees in your soul, it seems you have.”
Laying my head back on the plush comforter, I stare up at the ceiling, inspecting the tiniest details and imperfections in the paint. “Cait reveals the regrets I have in my existence, each one that I did not recognize, and enlightens me to the many things I do not deserve. Yet, she creates a desperate want of a life I never before desired, and a wishful hope she shall find it within herself to indulge me so.”
He laughs rather derisively, leaving me to expect some further chastising. “Yes. It seems Caitriona has that effect.”
*Cait*
“Somebody explain what the hell happened out there. How did Corrin get me away from all of you without anybody stopping him? How did Theo nearly get killed when the rest of you are perfectly fine? You dragons have some explaining to do. Right. This. Minute.” I glare down all of them, except Jai. His sweet little face turned to a guilty pout the second my voice rose.
“They anticipated our reaction to protect you, and prevented us from doing so by engaging us in drastically unexpected numbers,” answers Claaron. “Dante and Jai were only able to slip away due to their unusual methods of disappearing. Sneaky little buggers.”
I look to my little Jai, unsure what Claaron means. “You disappear?”
A mischievous grin creeps up on his face. “Dragon turn to smoke. Fly on the wind. Gone.” He mimics his explanation with his hands, eyes wide and engaging, and for a moment, I think he’s going to turn into a puff of smoke right in front of me. “Cannot hold what is not there.”
Claaron growls toward Jai. “You know, you’re a damn little chatterbox with her. Said more since landing here than I’ve heard out of your mouth in the past century.”
Moving closer, he pets my arm the way he’s done since meeting me, and the impish grin never disappears. “Cait is our North Star.”
“Care to elaborate on that one, Smiley?” I go ahead and ask, though I expect it might as well be a rhetorical question.
Something I think is meant to be a growl of some variety but sounds more like a purr from Jai precedes a simple, one-word response. “Cannot.”
“Of course. Why would anyone tell me anything?” Maybe I should be the one growling, my frustration increasing at every turn. I sigh, getting back on topic. “But how did all of this lead to Theo getting hurt? The elves attacked. Dante and Jai came after me.… I’m missing something. Fill in this puzzle.”
Liam steps forward and begins drawing an invisible diagram of the events on my kitchen island as he explains. “They arranged for a tactical frontal assault, with hordes of warriors for a ground offensive as well as three sniper crossbow archers located with optimal vantage points atop the Gilroy House and two other buildings in a triangular pattern. The ground forces focused the greatest of their assets on Theo, Oliver, and Claaron, knowing they are the most skilled in large-scale direct battle, wanting to keep them engaged to allow the archers time to land kill shots.”
I gasp at those words, kill shots, and Clifford jumps into the explanation. “But Jai would never let that happen. Before he left, he dropped a cloak of mist over us all. Liam and I were able to take down two of the archers without giving them time to react. In the melee of the attack and the mist, the last archer managed to land a single arrow in Theo, though it was a misfire meant for another of us. Given it was not fitted with a lethal dose for its victim, logic dictates he was not the intended target.”
“No. The sniper I took down had a full complement of higher concentrated poison arrows, suggesting he held the assignment of targeting both Theo and Oliver. That final elf may have done the best he could, or perhaps hoped he could hit Theo with more than one arrow, creating the same effect.”
“Either way…” Claaron shakes his head. “I have no doubt they were under strict orders to bring Theo down. More of them attacked him than any of the rest of us. Elves know the connection between dragon and ward is strong, stronger than any other dragon’s loyalty of service to protect a ward not solely their own… under normal circumstances. They would assume killing Theo would leave you more loosely guarded, regardless of who you are. A terribly incorrect assumption on their part.”
With a sigh of impatience, tired of the indirect references to my destiny, which becomes a brick wall if I try leading them toward answers, I shake my head. “Alright, for now, we’re keeping Corrin here, unless anyone has a better suggestion.” A brief scan of their faces assures we’re all in agreement. “I’m also going out on a limb here and saying after today’s events, Theo would want everyone to stay in one apartment. And honestly, I’d like you where I can keep a head count on you dragons. These elves obviously aren’t just after me, but you, too. As much as I prefer my privacy, I’m not nearly the crazy woman you probably think I am. I know there’s safety in numbers, so let’s make the best of this, get cozy and pretend we all like each other.… I’m sure that will be easier for some than others.”
I say this giving significant looks to Jai, Clifford, Claaron, and Oliver. “For now, Clifford, you and Jai take my uncle’s old bedroom. I’m sure you two will have plenty of space and privacy there. Oliver, you are to stay with Corrin. Until I know which side of the fence you’re on, I’m not taking any chances. Maybe Theo will feel differently, but he’s not up and around. I am, and unless you want to square off with me, I suggest you accept this is what it is. I’m quite sure I wouldn’t be wrong to say Snowflake here is itching to tangle with you, and Theo doesn’t encourage Jai to stay glued to my side just to look cute.”
“Milady.” Oliver offers a pleading bow, and despite appearing and behaving as the same venerable, knighted dragon I knew before the elfin attack, I can’t equate him with my uncle. Sir Thomas Greyson represented something Oliver’s lost to me. “I do not wish to offend you in any way. Please understand…”
“No. I will not understand. Those elves would have killed you too if they had the chance, yet you want to stay loyal to the king they want to keep in power. That’s all I need to understand to know I can’t honestly trust you. And to me, that’s the worst thing I can imagine saying to any dragon.”
We stare at each other for an awkward moment before Clifford clears his throat. “I should go check the new security monitors in the office.” I nod, and he beats a hasty retreat from the kitchen.
“I’ll take the first shift guarding Corrin and inform Dante of the decisions made,” offers Liam. I wave him off as well.
Claaron looks amused at the uncomfortable situation Oliver is in, but I don’t find it the least bit funny. “Maybe you should find something to occupy yourself, Snowflake. Take Smiley with you. I need to have a little talk with mister Snobby Dragon here.” Neither is happy to leave me, but they do, heading to the balcony doors to do a quick outer security sweep.
“Is that what you choose to call me, the nickname Theo intimated you deemed appropriate for me?” Oliver asks the second everyone is gone. “For distrusting me so entirely, you seem to have no difficulty being alone with me.”
“Would you really call this alone, dragons and Dante in every corner of my home?”
“No. I suppose not.” His eyes drop to the floor. “You truly dislike me. You think me pretentious and of quite an unsavory disposition for your particular taste.”
“If you’re asking me if I hate you, the answer is no.” My answer is softer than maybe he deserves after today, but there’s just something about Oliver. “I told you last night I am willing to forgive… and now it feels terrible to be incapable of trusting the brother in Theo’s house he’s closest to, Oliver.”
The dragon’s eyes meet mine. “He told you that.” His expression is definitely surprised.
“He didn’t need t
o tell me anything. I can feel it. I don’t know how to explain it, but I can feel a lot of things with all of you. I always sense where Theo is when he’s nearby and can usually tell what he’s feeling to some degree.” I ignore the shocked look on Oliver’s face. “I just know the two of you are close as brothers, the same way I know Liam and Clifford are. It’s not any different from how I sensed something between Jai and Clifford, telling me they were special to each other as soon as they were near one another.… It’s also how I knew you and Claaron don’t get along.”
He huffs in disbelief. “Are you sure Theo told you none of this, and you are not recalling?”
“I’m sure. Do you think I’d lie about it?”
“No. I am accusing you of nothing, milady.… May I?” He gestures toward me. I nod, unsure what I’m agreeing to, but I’m relatively positive he’s not going to hurt me. Stepping closer, he comes much nearer than I think he’s ever been to me when not on his knees, begging me to be compassionately forgiving, like a raving lunatic. Standing so close, his body heat radiates, warming my skin. He leans down, and I can feel his breath on my neck as he inhales deeply.
“Do I smell different?”
“Yes,” he whispers, voice low in my ear before he stands straight again. “You do.” Oliver looks down at me, his eyes tender in their gaze this time. “Any of us would be drawn to you, would desire to protect you, would feel the need to be loyal to you… even to love you in so far as we are capable.”
“Why?” And even though I ask, some small part of me is afraid to know the truth.
“Why do domestic felines enjoy the effects of Nepeta cataria, more commonly known as ‘catnip’?” he asks in return. “It is what you are, who you are. The effect you have on us is not too vastly different, I suppose: somewhat intoxicating. You bring a sense of calm, yet an invigorating rush as well. The others claim the effect maintains its strength with less proximity once they pledged loyalty to you, once they felt some connection to you.” He stands to his full towering height, drawing in a deep breath, eyes closed, a pleasant, soothed smile spreading across his face. “I must be nearer, but I too feel the effect you have. It will only gain intensity as you change.”
I stare at him, narrow-eyed, questioning his sanity as he looks at me again. “You’re trying to tell me I’m some sort of catnip for dragons. Being around me drugs you like Faery salt or something?”
He gives a disapproving humph. Snobby Dragon. “Faery salt. Hardly. You make an incredibly beautiful experience sound quite vulgar when you describe it as such, Lady Hayden. There is one other who causes such a reaction within the Dracopraesi, and you have long been foretold to be the only one like her… and yet different. Our North Star.”
I scowl. “Would you please tell me what that means?” I’m far less pleasant in my tone than he has been during this entire conversation.
“Will you not call me ‘Snobby Dragon’?”
He’s not so different from Snowflake and Smiley, all like children wanting to be their mother’s favorite. It’s ridiculous. “Maybe.”
“You are the one we were told would come, our North Star. Lady Hayden, you are meant to lead us in a new direction, into a new era of evolution as dragons.” Oliver’s quiet statement knocks me breathless, with such a deep meaningfulness to his tone.
“All of you?”
Shaking his head, he smiles, something I don’t see him do often. “No. Only the Goddess Houses of the Dracopraesi, those representing our sanctified principles. Pendragon upholds morality, Graywyne furthers knowledge, and Faerwyng encompasses compassion.”
Chapter 19
*Theo*
“Cait?” She does not answer, and I reach to her side of the bed, finding it is empty, cold. My heart aches, knowing she never returned as I open my eyes, moonlight casting the only light into the room.
Tracing the edges of the site I vividly remember as a former hole in my side, I experimentally stretch, feeling strong and healthy once more, then sit up. Her pillows are just as perfect and neat as they were. Cait’s side of the comforter is untouched, nothing amiss. Tapping the screen of the Sylvr Sky on the wall, I see the time. 1:06 a.m. Clearly, she has no intention of sleeping here with me, and I trudge off to the bathroom, wanting to appear more presentable before seeking out Cait, picking a wet towel up from the floor as I enter.
I toss it into the laundry hamper, realizing I fell asleep without discarding the towel she warned me about. It is disheartening to think she did not come back in at all, not even to wake me and argue over something unimportant. I would rather bicker with Cait about the color of the sky than have her refuse to speak with me in any way.
A knock at the door just after I start brushing my teeth retrieves me from my thoughts, though they were certainly not going in directions I wished to proceed. “Come in.” My words are rather unclear with a mouthful of toothpaste. Only Oliver would care.
The bedroom door opens and closes again without a sound, definitely not Cait, though I do not believe she would knock on her own door. If she is so furious as to not join me in bed, I am quite fortunate she does not storm in the room and viciously club me over the head, declaring me a ‘crazy dragon,’ or worse.
“How are you feeling? I heard you up and about finally.” He crosses through the room and comes to stand in the doorway. “You look far better.”
Rinsing and washing my face first, I nod. “Physically I am healed; however, I believe I would feel far better otherwise if Cait were in the room when I awoke. She is angry still?”
Dante watches me, choosing his response with careful consideration, worrying me in what state of mind I have left Cait. “Theo, I do not think anger is what Caitriona suffers from in this situation. Although I make no claim to be an expert on the subject, an observational assessment would lend to the conclusion she is quite emotionally pained by your actions. You have hurt her… again.”
I walk past him, finding my shorts exactly where she threw them on the bed earlier, then pull them on and return the towel to the bathroom. “Yes. I know. I told her…”
“I heard everything,” he interrupts as I reenter the bedroom. “I did not tell her I could hear the conversation from the hallway, but I heard it nonetheless. Caitriona needed someone to listen, and I did not feel revealing I already knew the problem would allow the same sense of release for her.”
Moving toward Dante, causing him back up a step in my approach, I glare down at him, a low growl escaping. “Convenient. I fail her. You save her. I tell her you should love her. You hear it.… Then what, Dante? She ran out of here infuriated with me and straight into your arms, where you consoled her, assured her you would not make the same mistake, declared you could love her better?” I question through clenched teeth, trying to maintain some measure of calm.
Quirking a brow, he seems amused by my anger. “I have no doubt I can love her better in some ways. I would not make the same mistakes, as I would assuredly make my own. I did console her in the only manner I know how, but I did not take her into my arms, merely held her hands in a gesture of sympathy for her pain.” With a sharp laugh, Dante shakes his head. “Do not think I misunderstand my place, Theo. I am in your shadow, exactly where Caitriona put all other men from the moment she connected with you. For some brief time, she may have chosen me, believing you did not want her, and indeed, she does love me, but I always remained overshadowed. Anything she feels for me is mere nothingness in comparison to her love for you.”
Turning away, I allow myself a small smile at the thought that he believes that, despite what I have said and done. “Yet she is not here, Dante.” I swipe her hairbrush from the dresser, letting the lavender scent hanging on it so strongly rush over my senses before raking it through my own hair. “Did you come to tell me you so kindly lent her your bed, too?”
“No. She fell asleep on the sofa.” He sounds quite annoyed by this fact. “Everyone offered their beds, even Corrin when he overheard she was trying to sleep in the living room, and yet s
he refused us all.”
“His head still remains attached?” That’s a shocking revelation given the circumstances.
“He remains under guard as our prisoner, per Caitriona’s orders. You are a fortunate man, Theo. Your wife is everything a man could want: strong, intelligent, beautiful. I cannot begin to do her justice in praising Caitriona’s leadership skills with no guidance. She took matters in hand with absolute confidence.”
I cannot help but sigh in disappointment–disappointment in myself. “She is not my wife, Dante.”
My friend waves off the remark with a slight gesture of his hand and an expression insinuating I’m being ridiculous. “Yes. Yes. Lest you forget, I have studied linguistics and semantics extensively, Theo. However, the specific meaning of the word does not account for spiritual interpretations of marriage. Caitriona chose you. You chose her. You have already consummated the relationship; therefore, for all intents and purposes, Caitriona is quite indeed your wife. If I felt the matter negotiable, perhaps I would continue pursuing her.”
“But Cait leads with her heart. That is what makes her our North Star.… My North Star. And her heart is what I have broken, as you so eloquently pointed out, again. She might not see the concept of marriage quite the same way, and may want more than a simple declaration to feel the matter is settled.” I fear I have undone all I desired to accomplish with Cait. “One may think her utterly mad to accept mere words from me, choosing to forgive the pain I have caused her.”
“As much as you wish to spend time wallowing in your own self-doubt, Theo, it truly serves no purpose aside from aggravating Caitriona and giving me pause to reconsider why I do not find it far more reasonable to take action in favor of my own interests.” His harsh stare punctuates the annoyance with both himself and me etched in his features. “Simply because you have not previously experienced the emotions you feel for her now does not make them any less valid or you any less worthy of them. You would not lie in this path if Mother did not find you suitable as Caitriona’s husband, and quite honestly, there are aspects of her you understand far better than I.”
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