“I guess I just didn’t—think I’d struggle with it like I did. Not as badly, anyway.”
She nodded. “Well, from now on? Even if you think you might possibly struggle with something? Speak up. Tell me it’s not a good idea. I don’t ever want to put you in another situation like that ever again. No matter who made the plans or bought the tickets or any other shit like that.”
My God, you’re incredible. “Got it.”
“We go nowhere without Piper. And if Piper can’t come? We don’t go. It’s as simple as that.”
You’re outstanding. “Deal.”
“The second thing on my list: Quinn.”
“Quinn?”
“Well, more specifically, people around here who were close to you when you were a child. When we were all children. I didn’t think it was my place last night to tell her explicitly what was going on. But I think she figured it out.”
I was lucky to have you there. “She’s always been a smart girl.”
Khloe squeezed my hand. “Quinn walked me through little attacks like that when I first lost John. Nothing major. Not like what you experienced. But she was there for me. She knows what the bare bones of something like this look like.”
“Do you still deal with them?”
“This isn’t about me right now. This is about—”
“Khloe, that question is important to me.”
She kissed my hand. “And we will talk about it. After we’re done talking about you. Okay?”
You’re perfection. “Promise me.”
She smiled. “I promise.”
I mean, just look at those beautiful eyes. “Good.”
“It wasn’t my place last night to tell her what was going on. But I think she should know. I think you should start viewing the people around you—like me and Kent and her and my parents—as a life support raft. And rafts only function normally if they’re fully inflated.”
You’re all I need. “With knowledge, in this particular metaphor.”
“Yes. With knowledge. You can do it on your own time, in your own way. But I think it would be very beneficial for your sake if y—”
Marry me.
She blinked. “What?”
“What?”
“Did you just say ‘marry me’?”
Holy fuck, did I say that out loud? “Did I?”
She licked her lips. “Yeah, I think you did.”
Might as well roll with it. “Yeah, I did.”
“Marry you.”
“Yes, marry me.”
She snickered. “You’re asking me to marry you?”
Yes. “More a statement than a question, but yes. I am. Marry me.”
Chapter 27
Khloe
I leaned back into my chair. “What the fuck, Jasper?”
Silence fell between us as Piper rubbed her fur up and down my leg.
“You can’t possibly be serious,” I said.
“And what if I am?” he asked.
“Then, I’d ask you if you’re suffering from some kind of episode right now.”
“Why, because I love you?”
“Oh, come on.”
“No, you come on. Listen to me. Khlo, I’ve always loved you. So, for once, instead of running away scared, I’m going to own up to how I feel.”
I sighed. “I can’t marry you, Jay.”
He leaned forward. “Why are you still here?”
I blinked. “What?”
“Why are you here? Right now?”
“Because I stayed the night with you.”
“And why did you do that?”
“Well, because I—”
He reached for my hand. “Say it, Khloe.”
I placed my hand against his. “Because I wanted to make sure you were okay. I was worried about you.”
“Yes. And then I woke up this morning, and instead of you being gone to work, you called off. Why?”
I shrugged. “I wanted to make sure you had someone around.”
“And now, we’re out here. Discussing how we can be better about this in the future. We. Us. As a cohesive unit.”
“I guess we are, sure.”
“So, if you don’t love me back, why aren’t you running away from my crazy ass? Why are you here? Trying to take care of me instead?”
I shook my head. “Did you ever think that it might possibly be too soon to even think about asking something like that?”
He nodded. “I have, yeah. It doesn’t change anything, though. Marry me, Khloe.”
“You’re crazy, you know that?”
He grinned. “It’s why I have a therapist. Marry me, Khloe.”
“This can’t possibly go over as well as you think it might.”
“We’ll never know until we try. Marry me, Khloe. My best friend. The only person who ever made me feel worth something in this world.”
“I’m sure I’m not the only person, but okay.”
His eyebrows rose. “Okay… what?”
I felt my heart swell with delight at the taste of that word on the tip of my tongue.
“Okay, I’ll marry you,” I said.
He blinked. “Are you serious?”
I snickered. “Yeah. Holy hell, I guess I’m saying yes.”
He smiled at me, and I fell apart in laughter. I heard him laughing with me, the song bouncing off my ears. I felt a little hysterical. Tears rushed to my eyes. I felt apprehensive. And hurt. And weirded out. But mostly happy. Very happy, really.
And definitely not scared.
“Jasper,” I said breathlessly.
He scooted his chair closer to me. “I love you, Khloe.”
My gaze met his, and his smile broadened.
“You don’t have to say it. Not until you’re ready. But I need you to look in my eyes and know it’s the truth. I’ve always loved you. I never stopped loving you. No matter where life took us, and no matter what your life became, I knew I’d always love you. First, as a friend. And second, as the only girl I’ve ever loved.
I cupped his cheek. “Oh, Jay.”
He cupped the back of my hand and kissed my palm. And as my heart leaped into my throat, I felt myself spiraling. This was all too fast. Too impulsive. Too much. But I did love him. Greatly. And considering the experience I had in my life with men I fell in love with, I didn’t want him to get away. Not again. Not without being able to express to him how much he meant to me.
How much he’d always mean to me.
“Kiss me,” I said softly.
His eyes came back to mine before he tugged me to my feet.
“Kiss me and don’t let go,” I breathed.
He pulled me into him, wrapping his arm around my waist. And as his lips came down against mine, Piper let out a resounding bark. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close. I jumped, locking my legs around him as he carried me back inside. I sucked on his lower lip and ran my fingers through his hair. I couldn’t get enough of him as he walked us up the stairs.
I broke away from the kiss long enough to lean over his shoulder, to look behind him, and snap my fingers.
“Piper, stay.”
She whimpered but did as she was told.
“Good girl,” I said with a grin.
“You’re my good girl,” Jay growled.
He pinned me to the wall and ripped my shirt over my head. My bra came off in a frenzy as his hands massaged my tits. My nipples puckered as I felt his tongue lingering against my peaks. I moaned for him and gripped his hair, pushed him farther into my cleavage as his growls shook my rib cage. My heart soared for this man. My body heated with a need for his presence. And as his teeth marked my tits, making them his once and for all, I choked out my next words.
“Shower. Hot. Now.”
He peeled me away from the wall. He walked us into the bathroom. He set me on the bathroom counter before kissing down my neck, giving him time to slide the rest of my clothes off. I was naked for him, bare, dripping, and ready for his taking. His eyes scanned me wi
th a carnal lust I wanted to indulge. Then, he turned around and fiddled with the shower before stripping down in front of my eyes.
I licked my lips as his muscles came into view. I noticed a couple of tattoos I hadn’t seen yet. I couldn’t make out what they were, but I didn’t really care. All I wanted was to feel his body against mine.
“Come back to me,” I said.
I held my arms out for him, and he rushed toward me.
“I’ll always come back to you, Khlo.”
I captured his lips in a sizzling kiss. We stumbled into the hot shower as water beat against our skin. I felt him everywhere, his cock pulsing against my thigh as he held me, pinned to the wall. Water dripped over the divots of his muscles. I felt his lips slinking down my skin, lower and lower, until he set me down on my feet and tossed my leg over his shoulder.
“Let me taste you,” he groaned.
I gripped his hair as his tongue pierced my folds, licking me, stroking me, sucking on my swollen clit until my thighs shivered with a need for release. I bucked ravenously against his face. I felt myself come alive. I felt my body tense. And as his tongue buried itself in my entrance, my body locked up.
“Jasper!” I wailed.
Juices sprayed from between my legs. My entire body went weak as my orgasm crashed over my senses. My nipples tightened so much it hurt. My nails raked over Jay’s scalp, and I lost all sense of time and space as pleasure washed through my system, factory resetting me as my legs finally gave out.
“I gotcha. I gotcha. Come here, beautiful.”
He lowered me to the shower floor and hovered his beautiful body over mine. With his smiling face and those beautiful eyes looking down at me, I felt my heart skip a beat. Water poured over his edges, framing him as if he were a natural waterfall.
“Kiss me,” I whispered.
“You’ll never have to tell me twice,” he murmured.
Softly, his lips brushed mine, leaving me with a need to taste myself against his skin. I clapped my hand around the back of his head, pulling him down to me, forcing his muscles to fall against my curves. I spread my legs wide for him until his cock was seated at my entrance. And as I relaxed underneath him, his cock filled my body, sliding against my throbbing walls.
“Khloe,” he grunted.
He snapped his hips against mine, over and over, as hot water battered against our bodies. I couldn’t get enough of him. The way he moved against me. The way our bodies fit one another like a glove. The electricity he afforded me and the way he pushed me to wondrous heights. I raked my teeth down his neck. I heard him grunting as I nibbled on his shoulder. With my nails marking his back, he pounded into me, faster and faster, as his dick thickened against my walls.
“That’s it. Don’t stop. Holy shit, Jay.”
“I’ll never stop. Never, Khlo. I love you. I love you. I love you.”
The sounds of wet skin slapping wet skin filled his walk-in shower. His movements grew ragged as his breathing picked up. I hung on for dear life, my body jumping against his.
“Jay, please!” I wailed.
“Come for me, Khlo. Do it,” he growled.
“Oh, shit.”
“Yes. Yes. Yes. Squeeze that—fuck!”
My walls clamped down around him, and he fell over the edge with me. Bursts of hot arousal coated my walls with every flutter of my body. I pulled him deeper, milking his cock for all it had
“That’s it. That’s it. Oh, Jasper. Oh, shit. Oh, my god.”
“Mine,” he grunted.
He collapsed against me, pinning me to the shower floor as the scalding water washed away the evidence of our debauchery. I nuzzled the side of his face and kissed the shell of his ear. I felt his cock filling me, still seated between my legs as if it had found its home.
As if Jasper had found his home.
With me.
I kissed his shoulder. “We should maybe not tell anyone yet.”
Jay stiffened. “Why do you say that?”
“Sh, it’s okay. Nothing bad. Relax. I just think we should sit on this until we’re both not feeling quite so… raw from it all.”
He nodded slowly. “That makes sense.”
“And, you know, until we’ve been seeing one another maybe longer than a month.”
He chuckled. “You always knew how to make some great points.”
“I suppose it’s one of my many talents.”
“And oh, you do have many of them.”
I grinned. “I suppose I do.”
With every kiss, I sighed in relief. With every movement of his body, I shivered in anticipation. I felt spent. And yet, I wanted more. I wanted it all. With him. Forever.
I love you, Jay.
“Is everything all right?”
His question pulled me from my trance, and I smiled up at him.
“Everything’s perfect,” I said.
And I meant every syllable of it.
Chapter 28
Jasper
“Willem!”
I turned around. “Yeah, Chief?”
“It’s four. Get out of here.”
I grinned. “Yes, sir.”
“And give me a call to let me know how this first session goes.”
“Will do, sir!”
I rushed out of work with Piper hot on my heels. I was thankful the chief was letting me off early today. Because I needed to do this. I needed to go to my therapist’s appointment as relaxed as I could get. I didn’t need to be in my uniform or still smelling like sweat from running around all day. And I needed to make sure Piper got some food and water before I took her with me.
I was thankful to have a chief that understood that.
“Come on, girl. We have some dinner to get really quickly,” I said.
Piper answered me with a resounding bark.
As I made my way back to my place, I thought about this past weekend. The days I spent lying around with Khloe, talking about all the things that had happened back in Vegas. I told her about the time I first saw Dr. Tomb. How hesitant I had been and how angry I still was inside. I didn’t think anyone could understand me. I didn’t think anyone could possibly understand what I was going through. I told Khloe how my doctor surprised me. How she unlocked ways for me to cope and gave me my first safe space ever since I had first arrived in Vegas as a scared seventeen-year-old little boy.
And through it all, Khloe was supportive of me going back to therapy.
Hell, I needed it, too. After a spur-of-the-moment marriage proposal and the subsequent shock that came with her actually accepting, I needed to talk with someone. Was I teetering on another ledge? Was I making a mistake? Would this blow up in my face?
I didn’t want it to.
But I also wasn’t an idiot.
Mostly.
It warmed my heart, how supportive Khloe was being. She even offered to come over to my place after my therapy appointment. Just to talk. Just to be here with me. I took her up on the offer, of course. I wanted her here with me. As much as I could get of her, no matter the form it took.
You didn’t make a mistake, Jasper.
That didn’t mean I wouldn’t bring it up with my therapist, though.
After getting home and cleaning myself up, I got Piper some food. I brought a portable water bowl with me, just in case. Then, we were back on the road. With my hair clean and my body scrubbed down and my comfortable clothes already easing me into the routine, I headed for Dr. Raley’s office, ready to fill out paperwork, talk the poor man’s ear off, and try to find some equal footing to stand on with everything that had happened.
“Welcome to Dr. Raley’s, are you checking in?”
The familiar voice made me smile. “Jasper Willem. I have an appointment at—”
“Five-thirty! Yep. I remember you. Here’s the paperwork you need to fill out. Pretty standard. You and your adorable dog can take a seat anywhere you like.”
I nodded. “I appreciate it.”
Piper wore her vest with pride as we tu
cked ourselves away in a corner. The paperwork was as standard as it came—bubble sheets to fill in to determine how anxious I was in any given scenario, how hard my depression usually hit, whether or not my depression made me suicidal. I filled in the answers honestly, because really, what did I gain from lying to my new doctor? My chicken scratch covered the lines, and I hoped Dr. Raley didn’t have any issues reading my handwriting.
“Mr. Willem?”
The woman’s voice caught me off guard. I whipped my head up and saw an older woman standing there, with salt-and-pepper hair with thick red-framed glasses. She had on a Christmas sweater vest with a plaid skirt and shoes that looked way too comfortable and casual for a setting like work. She almost reminded me of a grandmother. A kind, comforting grandmother, knitting somewhere in a corner with sweet treats in her pocket.
And when my eyes fell to her name tag, I almost swallowed my tongue.
“Dr. Raley?”
She smiled. “You must be Jasper. Come on in.”
I paused. “For some reason, I was under the impression that you were—”
“A man? Well, my husband works here, too. It gets a bit confusing. But you’re with me. Unless you’d feel more comfortable speaking with him.”
“I uh, it’s just—some of the things I struggle with—”
She ushered me into her office. “Why don’t we talk it over? And if you would still rather speak with him after our session, I’ll get you transferred seamlessly. How does that sound?”
I nodded. “I’m sure that can’t hurt.”
I walked back into her office and sat on the couch. Piper settled herself at my feet, watching Dr. Raley with a careful eye. She closed her office door and sat down, scanning my paperwork, flipping over sheets, and nodding her head softly as if she were taking the time to drink in all the information.
“I’m aware of your military record, Mr. Willem. And I just want to say—”
I held up my hand. “Please, don’t thank me for anything.”
She smiled. “I was going to say, I understand more than you realize. But I’ll keep that in mind.”
Dating My Best Friend: A Second Chance Romance Page 16