by Ann, Natalie
That was just way too scary in her mind and she wouldn’t voice it to him.
What was even scarier was what they just did in his shower.
How he knew all the buttons to push and everything to do to get her to just melt like ice cream on a hot summer day.
“Now that we are all nice and clean...and maybe a bit dirty, how about we get some food?” he asked when he was towel drying his hair.
Had she ever seen a sexier sight than Josh Turner standing naked in a bathroom, his arms up over his head as he rubbed a towel across his short locks, his biceps flexing and bulging? No. No, she had not. And for now he was all hers.
Whether she could loosen up to keep him hers was yet to be seen.
She just had this feeling that they were moving too fast and she wasn’t sure what to do about it. Talking about it with him wasn’t the thing either. What if she was wrong? Then she’d look like an idiot.
“As always, you’ve managed to help me work up one hell of an appetite.”
She finished drying off and reached around him for her bra and underwear. He slapped her ass. Of course he did because he always did when he had a chance.
“I like that about you. That you aren’t afraid to throw back some food with me when I want. You never just want to pick at a salad like some rabbit.”
“Are you calling me a pig?” she asked, lifting her eyebrow at him.
“Of course not.” He started to get dressed himself. “You’ve got the most amazing curves on you but you are toned. That is more important than being so skinny and not enjoying life. I get that some men like that, but I like a woman that has those contours and curves. That isn’t afraid of a few calories now and again.”
She wasn’t sure what to make of this conversation. He wasn’t insulting her, she was sure, but she had enough vanity to look in the mirror and angle her butt to see if it was bigger than it should be.
“I used to be skinny until I moved out on my own.”
“Why is that?” he asked, then opened the bathroom door, the steam releasing into the hallway.
“Lots of mouths to feed in the homes I was in. We didn’t get a lot of sweets and fattening foods. Meals were simple and if you weren’t there for one, then you went without until we were allowed to eat again.”
His mouth opened and closed. “So if you weren’t home for dinner, you didn’t eat until the next morning?”
“No,” she said. “We got a snack at night. Normally popcorn or something like that. Cheap and easy and something that was in bulk. The last house I was in had a rigid schedule. I get it to a point.”
“But you had a job in high school, you said.”
“I did. And if I couldn’t make it home for dinner then I used my own money to get something to eat. I didn’t go hungry. We weren’t starved. But I guess my point is when I was on my own I ate what I wanted. Maybe I splurged a bit now and again.”
She was still cheap. She didn’t go out to eat much. She didn’t buy a ton of junk food, but she did buy things when she had the money. Treats in her mind. And she ate when she wanted and what she wanted.
“Nothing wrong with splurging at all,” he said. “I do it all the time.”
“And we know your life and mine weren’t the same,” she said, having to remind herself again. Sure, they both didn’t have their parents in their life, but he had someone who loved him. Who cared for him. Who was there for him.
Was still there for him.
She had no one but herself. The question was—would she be happy if it stayed that way?
She thought she was pretty happy in her life, but if she was, then why was she always dreaming of living in a place like this knowing she’d never be able to afford it on her own?
“No,” he said. “I’m sorry for it.”
“Don’t be. That was wrong of me to say. You’ve had a hard life too.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t have a hard life. I had a hard thing happen in my life, but it was one thing. My grandparents made the rest of my life better. And when I was old enough I made it for myself. Just like you. Once you could, you made your life the way it is. You’ve got no one to thank but you and that is what I love about you.”
He said the ‘L’ word, but he didn’t say he loved her. He said he loved that about her. Rather than address it and feel like she’d have to return it when she wasn’t sure if she could or wanted to, she said, “You’re right. I’m proud of what I’ve done with my life. I’m not ashamed of my past either when many are.”
“You shouldn’t be ashamed of anything. Kids don’t ask to be put into foster care. You are a by-product of your parents. I’m just sorry there was no one else that could have taken you in when your mother died.”
“There might have been if my mother talked to anyone in her family,” she said. “But I never met any of them. She left home when she was a teen. She was on the streets caring for herself. The story of why she left changed from time to time. Though I was young enough to not understand much of what she said, I was old enough to know she lied a lot.”
He ran his hand down her jaw. “That is nothing like what I had. I don’t have those memories. Please, don’t compare our lives and do yourself an injustice. You’ve overcome so much more than me.”
She felt her eyes fill when she didn’t know if she’d have the ability to do that. She rarely cried because there wasn’t anyone around that ever cared if she did.
“How did we get talking about this when all we did was start out about my curves?”
He laughed. “No clue. But no more talk about it. No more tears. It hurts my heart to see them on you.”
Yeah, no one had ever said anything like that in her life and if there was anyone she thought she could fall in love with, it was going to be Josh.
23
A Real Gem
“I’m glad you are going to my grandparents with me for the holiday again. It’d bother me if you were alone.”
When he asked her last week to go with him, he was positive she was going to make up some excuse not to, but he knew damn well she wasn’t working and she had no family. He would have given up time with his grandparents to stay in town if she didn’t go with him.
“I had fun at Thanksgiving. And something tells me you might not go if I didn’t. I don’t want your grandparents mad at me.”
“See? We know each other so well. If I didn’t get stuck at work last night I would have tried to leave then and stayed the night, but it didn’t work out.”
“Do you normally do that? Spend Christmas Eve with them? Even after you moved out?”
“I haven’t lived at home in years, but I was always close enough that I went there bright and early for breakfast. This is the first time I haven’t been a few minutes from their house. Of course there were plenty of years I worked on the holidays too.”
“And your grandparents celebrated around that?” she asked.
They had. Always. Still to this day they made sure he had the family he lost when he was younger. “Of course.”
“Do you ever spend time with your mother’s side of the family? You never talk about them or aren’t they around?”
“My mother’s mom passed away when I was younger, my other grandfather about six years ago. Before that I’d spend time with them when I could. They didn’t live around here, but a few times they’d come to town and we’d all celebrate at my grandparents’ house.”
“Even sweeter. So any cousins that you had running around?” she asked.
“Yeah. My father has a brother who has two kids. They lived in Vermont. My cousins still do. I don’t see them much now. They came for the holidays often too, but now they’ve all got their own families. I think that happens when you get older and spread out.”
“Sheri is the only foster sister I see now and even then it’s not that often. Not like we spent holidays together or anything. She’s always in some relationship and does holidays with whoever she is with. The rest of the kids moved in and out of my
life or I didn’t connect in any way with them.”
“You just tried to get by?” he asked.
“Pretty much. But I shared a room with Sheri for two years and we were the same age and got along well. Both of us were riding out our time there.”
He still couldn’t imagine her life and wanted to give her something so much better even though he knew she’d already done that without him.
He wondered if he’d ever be able to break down her barriers to be let in. He wasn’t stupid. She was holding back like that child that was on the edge of the pool trying to dive in, inching up, poising her hands, then shaking her head and walking a step back.
He’d like to say she kept so much from him, but he knew that wasn’t the truth. She was pretty open and honest with him.
Just not with her heart. And that was what he wanted the most.
When they got to his grandparents’ he noticed the lights all twinkling on the front porch that he’d put up for them when he was here on Thanksgiving. He was going to have to make sure he got back here in a few weeks to take them down. There was no way he was letting his grandfather climb any ladders and do any of it.
“Merry Christmas,” his grandmother said, giving him a huge hug when he walked in the front door. She didn’t hesitate to give Ruby a hug and kiss on the cheek either. “I’m so glad to see you again, Ruby.”
“Thanks for inviting me, Theresa,” Ruby said.
His grandmother waved her hand. “You are always welcome. No invitation needed. Come on in out of the cold. I’m so glad the snow is going to hold off until tomorrow.”
“Grandpa isn’t going to shovel, is he?” he asked when he hung his coat up. “Not even snowblowing, right?”
He’d bought them a new snowblower a few years ago when his grandfather got around better, but in the past year he’d noticed that the arthritis was creeping up on his old bones. Not only that, his grandfather had his feet up more often and Josh questioned what he thought was some swelling around one ankle. His grandfather had brushed it off and said that was what happens when people age.
“No. There is a new couple next door and the husband came over and did it at the last snowfall when he was out cleaning his own bright and early.”
Josh smiled over that. “I’ll make sure I go over and thank him if he is around before I leave.” And leave his card with number on it in case of any emergencies.
“I already thanked them with a dish of lasagna and a double chocolate cake.”
“I didn’t expect any differently,” he said, knowing how generous his grandparents were. “Bet you got them a gift for Christmas too, didn’t you?”
“I might have gotten them a gas gift card,” his grandmother said, sending him a wink. “Go have a seat with your grandfather while I finish up getting some food ready.”
“What did you make?” he asked.
“I know how much you love brunch food and thought this was the perfect time to do it. Something different since you weren’t here bright and early looking for what Santa left you.”
“Santa?” Ruby asked. “Does Santa still leave you gifts?”
He leaned down and kissed her on the top of the head. “He does.”
“And he might have left one for you too,” his grandmother told Ruby.
He watched as her eyes grew and got a tad misty. He wondered when the last time was she’d gotten anything from Santa.
“In that case I better make sure I continue to be a good girl. I’ll come in and help you get the food ready.”
“You’re such a sweetheart,” his grandmother said as she went back to the kitchen with Ruby following.
He walked into the living room and sat on the couch where his grandfather was watching some black and white movie. “You’ve got a real gem there and I don’t mean her name either.”
He cracked a grin at his grandfather’s comment. “I know it,” he said.
“I told your father the same thing about your mother when he brought her home the first Christmas.”
“Yeah?” he said, never having heard this story.
“Yep. They’d been dating about six months or so. She couldn’t make it here for Thanksgiving. She went to see her family out of state and your father went with her. It was the first holiday your father missed and your grandmother was hard to console.”
He laughed, knowing that there might be some truth to that statement but not as much as his grandfather was letting on.
“I’m sure she had plenty of food left for Dad when he got back.”
“She did. And she made sure he knew that they were going to take turns for the holidays. That if your mother loved him enough, she wouldn’t hog all the time with her family.”
“Mom was close to her parents though,” he reminded his grandfather. “And she moved here to be with Dad after college so you know how much she loved him.”
“I’ve never seen two people in love as much as them,” his grandfather said. “You’ve got a look in your eye right now.”
He snorted. Nothing got past his grandparents. “Not sure we are quite there. Or at least her.”
It was the closest he was getting to admitting that maybe he felt more for Ruby than she felt for him.
“Give her time. Your grandmother told me about her past.”
After Thanksgiving he’d made sure they were aware that Ruby had no family and why, so they didn’t bring it up again.
“She talks about it, but I’m sure it’s holding her back. And even though we are talking quietly, I’d rather she not overhear us.”
“Smart boy,” his grandfather said.
* * *
Ruby was stuffed. It was a good thing she wasn’t someone to count her calories or turn her nose up at sweet treats and fattening foods or all she’d be eating was fruit today.
Theresa had outdone herself with brunch. Thick pieces of French toast that she’d sliced herself. Homemade whipping cream to top them with along with fruit. There was bacon, ham, a cheese and broccoli quiche, cinnamon buns, and blueberry muffins. Way too much food for the four of them.
“Josh, you can take the muffins and buns back with you. They freeze well so you don’t feel like you’ve got to eat them all in the next few days.”
“But I could eat them all in the next few days,” he said.
Ruby was sure he could. He seemed to have a peg leg that all his food was stored in.
“I’ve got another quiche for you to heat up when you want it too. Ham and spinach. I know broccoli isn’t your thing, but Grandpa likes it.”
Ruby noticed that Josh didn’t touch the quiche but she gobbled it up. “I’d love your recipe,” she told Theresa. “I’ve never had a quiche before, but this is delicious.”
“I’ll give you any recipe you want. I’ve got to make sure my boy is fed when I’m not around.”
“Ruby cooks for me all the time. We go out,” Josh said, “but she likes to cook too.”
“And now he’s got that big kitchen with all those new appliances and counters. I just love working in it,” she said. His kitchen had turned out beautifully once it was completed.
Josh had been living there for a week now. They’d gone furniture shopping for the family room after he decided to put his current furniture in the formal living room. He’d bought another bedroom set for upstairs for guests and ordered a dining room set that had yet to be delivered. He even bought a new table for the breakfast area, putting his other one downstairs for now. He hadn’t even touched the basement yet but said that would be his next project once his master bath was done.
He wasn’t one to sit idle, she noticed. Better yet, he let her help decorate the house with him. The furniture he bought was a joint effort on their part. It amazed her that they had such similar tastes in just about everything.
In the back of her mind she wondered why he was letting her have so much say in the furniture choices, almost as if it was a test of sorts.
“I think that maybe now we can open our gifts,” Bob said. �
��I’m surprised that Josh waited this long. He’s always been one that wants to dive right in first thing.”
Ruby laughed over that comment. She and Josh had exchanged their gifts this morning at his house. He’d even put up a small Christmas tree.
Since it was their first Christmas, neither of them went overboard. Nothing overtly personal. Some clothes and gift cards and it was something that pleased her. Too personal would put too much pressure on her already confused and unsteady thoughts.
“I’m ready to open up Santa’s gifts now,” he said. “I wonder if I’ll get my new bike this time.”
She laughed and thought he was joking, but Theresa jumped in. “You are never going to let us live that down, are you?”
She looked over at Josh and he said, “I was eleven and wanted a new bike so bad. I mean it’s all I talked about for a month before Christmas. I thought for sure it’d be under the tree, but it wasn’t.”
“I swear I thought he was going to cry,” Bob said. “We knew he was on the edge about believing in Santa, but we couldn’t find the bike he wanted. It’s not like bikes are big sellers in December in New York.”
Ruby laughed. She’d never even written letters to Santa. Even in school she rebelled against it, knowing she’d never get anything. Why bother to ask and wish when it wouldn’t come true?
“I bet you still got your bike,” she told Josh.
“He did,” Theresa said. “Once the snow melted we went bike shopping and let him pick out the one he wanted. And he got to ride it after getting it. I kept telling him it would be no fun to get it for Christmas and stare at it for months in the garage.”
“Your grandmother had a point,” she told him.
He poked her in the arm. “Don’t side with her.”
“Yes, Ruby,” Theresa said, “side with me. I tell him all the time women are wiser.”
She loved his grandparents. “I’ll have to tell him that the next time he wants to argue with me.”