by Ann, Natalie
“We don’t argue,” he said.
She thought about that and realized Josh was right. They didn’t argue about anything. How was it possible they’d dated for almost two months and had not had one disagreement?
“Well, when we do, I’ll know how to answer you.”
They all moved to the living room and Theresa was handing out gifts. She was shocked there really was one from Santa under the tree for her. A pretty silk scarf that she knew would get a lot of use for work. “Thank you so much,” she said. “This was very thoughtful of you.”
“Josh always says you are so put together and professional and when I saw that I knew it would look lovely on you.”
The jewel-toned scarf would and it would go with a lot.
Once all the gifts were opened, Josh said, “Hang on, there is one more. Grandpa, grab that from behind the tree.”
She sat there waiting for Josh to give the box to his grandmother, only he handed it to her. “What’s this?” she asked. “We opened gifts this morning.”
“We did, but I had this one shipped here and my grandmother wrapped it.”
She couldn’t imagine what it was as it was a fairly big box, but she ripped the silver and blue paper off and then started to laugh. “I sense a theme here.”
There was a tan teddy bear in a box that had a Santa hat on its head and a little red and white frilly dress on.
“To go with the painting bear,” he said.
“I’m going to need a place to put this,” she said. “I barely fit the other one in my room.”
“We’ll find room for it,” he said and leaned over to kiss her. “Merry Christmas, Ruby.”
“Merry Christmas, Josh. Best one ever,” she whispered against his lips.
24
Where She Stood
The holidays were over and it was close to the end of January. Ruby was thrilled she’d gotten through it all with Josh and found that they were getting closer than she’d ever expected to get with someone.
Had she wondered if she’d ever marry and have kids of her own someday? She did.
Did she stress about it and want it to happen? No. Not at all.
The only kids she’d ever been around in her life were those in foster care. Whenever she knew someone that had a baby and they asked if she wanted to hold it, she’d always made an excuse.
She wasn’t sure if she was the motherly type at all and didn’t know if she’d ever put it to the test.
Society always leaned toward marriage and kids and she didn’t fight it. She didn’t embrace it either. She just figured if it happened, it did.
That is, if she could ever let herself go enough. Let herself depend on someone. Be cared for by someone else.
And when she had those thoughts, she reminded herself that maybe she didn’t have to do those things at all to be in a relationship.
That she could love someone, marry someone, have kids and still make sure she could support herself. Rely on only her. Wouldn’t some guy love that anyway? One less burden for him?
Work was slow, which was to be expected right now. Many were wondering how much they were going to owe the IRS or what their refunds were going to be, if not making sure they didn’t cry when their credit card bills came from the holidays.
Not her. She knew exactly where she stood at all times on the financial front.
She was at her desk organizing her files, prepping for an open house and doing her damnedest to negotiate someone down on a house. A house that had sat on the market for seven months already and most likely would another several over the winter, but these homeowners didn’t want to lower their price and her clients didn’t want to increase theirs.
Oh well, win some, lose some. The funny part, the realtor she was negotiating with worked in her office and they were talking back and forth as they made calls to their clients.
“Ruby, I swear to God, people don’t get it,” Joe, her fellow realtor, said. “Do you know these clients haven’t had one offer on the house in seven months? I told them they were pricing it too high and they wouldn’t lower it once.”
“I know you are trying, Joe. It’s not your fault. You just can’t talk sense into people. Especially when it’s matters of money. They think their house is worth so much and they are determined to get it,” Ruby said. Even if that meant they were losing money by holding onto it longer.
“I just hate when I get clients like this. When their six months were up I thought for sure they’d want to switch realtors to list again, but nope, they stayed with me. That house hasn’t been shown in months other than by you last week.”
“I feel horrible too. I had to push my clients to look at it knowing it was out of their range but had said everything was negotiable and it didn’t hurt to look and try if they liked it.”
“I’m trying. I want to unload this house and get my commission as much as you.”
“I’m not pushing my clients to try to pay the price, I’m sorry. The house isn’t worth it. If they ask my opinion I have to be honest.”
Joe laughed. “That is what I like about you. Always so honest when some of us aren’t. I get it though. I wouldn’t pay that either. It’s thirty thousand too high. They should have lowered it by ten thousand after one month, two tops. Then I still expected someone to offer ten to fifteen lower and negotiate from there. Your clients coming in at thirty less is what I would have expected and even meeting in the middle would be nice.”
“Meeting in the middle is still a little high for the area, but not unheard of,” Ruby said knowing that many were okay with that if it was their forever home. A few thousand here and there on a mortgage wasn’t a deal breaker. Thirty thousand sure the heck was.
“Let me know how you make out,” she said to Joe when he turned to go back to his desk at the other side of the room.
She was clicking around on her computer when she heard a man’s voice upfront say, “I’m looking for Ruby Gentile. Is she in?”
“She is. Can I get your name please?” the receptionist asked.
“Matt Clarke.”
Ruby turned her head to look at the opening of her cubicle when Carol came around and said, “There’s a gentleman here to see you.”
“Thanks, I’ll come up.”
She got out of her chair and walked to the front. The man was young, probably about her age, she was guessing, maybe a year or so older. “Hi, I’m Ruby. How can I help you?”
“Matt Clarke,” he said, reaching his hand out. He was wearing jeans and work boots on his feet, a black North Face jacket and his hair was slightly messy from the wind. “I was wondering if there was somewhere we could talk in private.”
She frowned, not sure what this was about, but since she was in a building with other people she wasn’t too worried. Damn Josh for getting in her head about protection, then the run-in with Michael, who thankfully found another realtor, and she could keep this little secret from Josh, just knowing to be aware now.
“The conference room is open. Come on back.” When they got there, she shut the door and moved her hand to offer him a seat. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“I’m good. I’m sorry to come in unannounced like this. I guess I didn’t want to call and leave a message or lie about the reason for my call either.”
“What is the reason? I’m going to assume it has nothing to do with buying a house?”
“No. It’s about my father. Our father.”
Her jaw opened and closed. “I think there has been some kind of mistake,” she said.
“Was your mother Christy Gentile?”
“That was her name, yes,” she said. “But my mother has been gone for over twenty years.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I found that out. This is a really hard conversation. I’m still in shock myself and didn’t expect my father to say I had a half-sister out there. My sisters didn’t want me to come here.”
“Sisters,” she said.
“I’ve got two younger sisters. They a
re twenty-five and twenty-seven. I’m thirty-two.”
Younger sisters and an older brother. This was getting strange. “I think there must be some mistake. I don’t know who my father is.” She figured she might as well tell it the way it is. “When my mother died I went into foster care. I don’t have any family that I’m aware of.”
“I don’t think there is a mistake.” He swallowed, his face turned red and he looked at the wall, then back to her. “Your mother was...I’m not sure how to say this.”
“A junkie and a whore,” Ruby said bluntly. Again, why lie at this point?
“Yeah. My father was in a bad place when I was younger. He went into rehab and he’s been clean for twenty-five years. My mother told him it was that or he was out. But during that time when she thought he was just out doing drugs he was doing other things. Only we didn’t know until recently.”
This couldn’t be happening. She couldn’t have a family out there and have never known. Her mother said she never knew who her father was.
“How did you find out?”
“My father told us. He’s dying. He’s in kidney failure. We’ve all tested to be a match for a transplant and we aren’t. He told us about you.”
She snorted. Giving up an organ for a guy she doesn’t know? Someone that says he is her father and must have known about her for most of her life and never reached out? Fat chance of that happening!
“And I’m supposed to just believe this story?” she said, crossing her arms.
“I know it’s crazy. But I’ve got letters,” he said, pulling them out. “My family would be pissed if they knew I was here. My sisters want no part of this. My mother is devastated. But he’s my father and I’ve got to try to save him if I can.”
She reached for the letters and glanced at them. Different words all saying the same thing. Her mother was pregnant and wanted money for an abortion. When that didn’t pan out, she wanted support. Guess she didn’t get her wish there either. Her mother probably figured he was still a junky with not much money either at that point.
“This doesn’t mean anything,” she said and handed them back. Even though deep down it could totally be true.
“If you get a DNA test done then you’ll know,” Matt said.
“You want me to donate a kidney to a father I’ve never known. Someone who knew about me my whole life and let me sit in foster care while he went home each day to his wife and kids?”
“He said he didn’t know your mother died,” Matt argued. “And he was in a bad place when you were younger. We all felt the heat of that.”
“Please,” she said. “You have no clue. He got clean before she died. He could have looked if he wanted to, but he didn’t. He didn’t want to acknowledge the mistake he had floating around. He didn’t want to risk losing what he had.”
“You’re right,” Matt said, dropping his head. “He was wrong. He knows it now. But we need your help.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “You’re asking way too much from me. Besides, it sounds like no one else in your family wants me involved anyway. I guess that makes me wonder if they want him to live as much as you.”
“That’s low,” Matt said.
“Is it? No lower than you coming in here asking me this.”
He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and tossed it on the table. “If you change your mind that’s my information. Or if you want to meet the guy that fathered you before he dies.”
She watched Matt walk out the door and stood there frozen. What the hell was she supposed to do? Say, Yes, I’ve got a father I never knew and sure I’ll help him?
The man knew she existed and did nothing for her. Not once in her life did he try to find her or reach out and because now he was dying he wanted something from her?
No way. And this was why she didn’t depend on anyone. Because most times they were only out for themselves.
Then why did she find herself driving to see Josh at work rather than calling him? Why did she need to hear his voice and need his comfort?
Because she wondered if she did fall in love with him after all.
25
To Guilt Me
Josh looked up when he heard heels on the tile floor to see Ruby standing there. Her face was pale and her eyes were glossy.
He jumped up fast. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
“Can we go somewhere to talk?”
He grabbed her hand and pulled her to an empty room, knowing that whatever was wrong he was determined to fix it. She came to him and he was damn well going to help her any way he could.
“So tell me what has you so upset,” he said and pulled her into his arms. She didn’t resist, which told him right away it had to be major.
“My half-brother just came to see me.”
He pushed her back and looked at her face. “Brother?”
“One I had no idea I had. I’ve got two half-sisters too.”
“He just came to see you out of the blue?” he asked. “At work?”
“He had a reason. Guess he just found out about me recently too. His mother and sisters didn’t want him to come to me. They need my help. Or Matt—my brother—wants my help.”
“Help with what?” he asked.
“Guess dear old Dad, who knew about me but I didn’t know about him, is dying from some kidney disease. He needs a transplant and none of his other kids are matches. Matt decided to reach out to me despite the rest of the family’s wishes.”
He was trying to wrap his head around what Ruby was saying. That some stranger just walked off the street and was asking her for a kidney?
“How do you even know he is telling you the truth?” he asked.
“I questioned that too. He knew my mother’s name, which isn’t enough in my eyes. But Matt had letters that my mother had written to his father years ago. Asking for money for an abortion and then later for support. My guess is nothing came about from it. Any man that knocked my mother up back then was on the same path of destruction as her. Getting lawyers and admitting what they did most likely wasn’t happening.”
“He could have paid her off to shut her up,” he said.
“Maybe he did at one point. No clue. I doubt Matt knows. I don’t know if I even want to know. What I do want to know is why the hell he knew about me and did nothing? Why he continued to live his life with his family and left me alone.”
“Are you considering helping him?” he asked. “That’s risky and dangerous for you.”
He had to tread carefully here. She’d never had a family and maybe she would want to get to know this one, but there was no way he was letting her do something as crazy as this without him voicing his concerns and looking at it from every angle first.
“Hell no,” she said. “He’s a stranger to me. Worse than a stranger. He knew who I was to him and ignored me. I want answers, but I’m sure the hell not helping him.”
He was happy with that answer but held back saying it. It was still her body and decision and he wouldn’t comment unless the time came.
“You need to do what feels right to you.”
She snorted and started to pace. “I was so upset when I came over here. I’d shed some tears in the car and felt like I was going to again when I told you. Now I’m just pissed off.”
“Remind me never to get you angry with me,” he said.
“You could never get me as angry as I am right now. I don’t know what to do. What should I do?”
“About what?” he asked.
“Should I seek him out? Matt left and was an ass when he did. He handed me his information on a piece of paper and then said if I want to help I could reach out or if I wanted to meet the man that fathered me before he died. Like he was trying to guilt me. How dare he?”
“I’m sure he feels like he is doing anything possible to save his father,” Josh said.
He knew he might feel the same way if he were in Matt’s shoes. He was not sure he’d do what Matt did, but he’d still be in his father’s
corner. In his grandfather’s corner.
Or maybe he wouldn’t. He would imagine he’d be pretty livid if he found out either of his parents had another child they knew of and kept it from him. Worse yet, knew what kind of life that kid had if it was anything like Ruby’s.
This guy had to know what Ruby’s life was like. If he’d gotten her drug-addicted mother pregnant that means he wasn’t a law abiding citizen himself.
“Did Matt know about your mother?”
“You mean did he know she was a junkie and a whore? Yep, I asked that. Then I made some comment about his father.”
“What was his response?”
“He said that his father—my father—was an addict and it was a low point in his life. Matt’s a few years older than me, and has two sisters younger. Guess when his wife was pregnant with number three she said he had to get his act together or get out. He got his act together.”
He watched as her eyes filled now. The pacing had stopped, so had the rage. Now came the emotions. “Come here.”
She sniffled against his chest. “He got his act together and still didn’t come for me. I might get it if he was the same junkie as her. It wouldn’t have been any better. Or maybe it would. But once he got his life on track he couldn’t seek me out at all?”
“Those would be questions for him,” he said, his hand going up and down her back.
“Should I go talk to him? Or should I let it go? I just don’t know what to do. And I’ve never even had anyone I could ask an opinion of before.”
Which told him what he’d always assumed. She wasn’t going to easily let herself go to anyone. Including to me.
“I’m glad you came to me. I wish I could give you the answers, but only you know what is the right thing to do. You have to ask yourself if seeing him would give you any type of closure or not. It can’t and won’t change your past, but would it change any of your future?”
“I don’t know the answer to any of that. But I do know if I don’t try to find some answers I’m always going to wish that I did.”