Life was easier before Xena stumbled into it. Yet it was all gray without any highlights. None. The last few minutes—being inside her—it gave me more pleasure than fucking years living my life. Here I stand wondering how it would be to embrace the time I could have with her...or turn the upcoming years into the same dragging time I’ve had.
I fill my lungs with enough air to clear my head when I hear a moan of pure ecstasy. What the hell? I step inside my bedroom and see Xena sitting on the bed butt naked and cross legged with her eyes closed while eating chocolate. Every single worry leaves my body as laughter rips from my throat.
Her eyes fly open and her cheeks turn red. “Sorry,” she mumbles while chewing. “I couldn’t help myself. This right here makes angels dance on your tongue. Want some?”
I slowly shake my head. “Nah, all for you, baby.”
“Oh, thank fuck. I was mentally holding my tits and would have to fight you for it, because no way I was going to give it up. But...you know, I had to offer...not wanting to be rude and all.”
Again, she makes me laugh. This woman has such an open and honest character, while being strong headed, I would be an idiot to pass up spending time with her. I have no fucking clue if I could ever give her any kind of commitment. Hell, we had sex and I flipped out right after. Something I told her wasn’t going to happen and yet it did.
“Where on earth did you find these? I need the address and name or I’m going to hold you hostage until you spill every damn detail.” She gives me a fierce look but it falls apart when she shoves another white chocolate blueberry truffle in her mouth.
I didn’t get her normal chocolate. Hell no. I went to a special store where they sell all kinds of treats. I got her all the favorites my little girl, Harmony, used to swoon over. I used to get them for special occasions...like her birthday. Today of all days, I bought them for someone else and did it without thinking. I just wanted to give Xena something special. Because for me, I now realize, Xena is special.
“Did you try the caramel marshmallow one? It used to be my daughter’s favorite.” Fuck. Why the hell did I say that?
“Oh, you mean these?” Xena holds out a little piece before popping it into her mouth again, not caring one bit she’s talking to me with her mouth full. “Divine. Seriously. She had good taste. And thank you. Now I will be adding pounds and pounds of fat and will have to dance my ass off. Like literally. But, yeah...worth it.”
She talks over it. Not completely, but again...no restrictions, not one damn question she throws my way. She’s such a contradiction and surprising the fuck out of me at every turn. She lets me set the pace without judgement or demands. Unselfish, caring, honest. Xena. Fuck. The redhead will make me go down in flames, making me burn so damn good, and I’m going to enjoy every fucking second of it.
“Gimme one of those,” I tell her, suddenly wanting a bite of sweetness.
I’ve never seen anybody move that fast. She’s got the whole bag huddled against her chest while shaking her head. “Nuh uh, hell, no. Go get your own.”
“Go get your...what the hell woman, those are mine. I went out and fucking bought them myself.” I charge toward the bed, making her crawl backwards until her back hits the headboard.
A growl rumbles through my chest and it makes her clutch the bag of chocolates even tighter. I launch myself at her and she turns just in time to shove the bag underneath her body, making me grab her by the waist as I start to tickle her. Xena wiggles and tries to break free from my punishing tickle-grip, but I intend to obtain the damn bag of chocolates.
Her breasts bounce and a nipple is near my mouth. I don’t even think twice and snatch the sucker between my teeth, making sure to have a snug hold before I hollow my cheeks. Suddenly her fingers aren’t holding anything other than my head, making sure I stay in place.
I should grab the bag of chocolates but the way whimpers fall over her delightful lips while her nails trace my scalp is making my cock hard. I let my hand trail down from her waist to her pussy and let my fingers play. So. Damn. Wet. All for me to enjoy.
I slide one finger inside. She clamps down and I retreat and give her two, making her moan. Yeah, no way I’m passing this up. This woman makes hard moments turn into careless in a blink of a damn eye. She’s mine. I don’t care, and have no idea what it all will entail, but I ain’t letting her walk out the fucking door once her foot is healed. Thank fuck that’ll be days away so the both of us have time to deal with coming together at some point.
I switch to the other breast and glance up to see Xena’s eyes are closed, completely enthralled by the pleasure I give her. My gaze slides down and I see the bag of chocolates. I shouldn’t be so fucking mean but this woman is making me so damn crazy and only a moment ago she was taunting me. But before I can get my fingers out of her pussy and around the bag of chocolates, she has the fucking thing in her hand while her other one is holding onto my jaw.
“Naughty,” she fucking scolds.
Her whole demeanor makes me smirk. “Baby, naughty was me shoving my fingers into your pussy.”
She gives the same kind of moan I heard when she shoved a piece of chocolate in her mouth, only this time it’s because she’s reminded of my fingers working her pussy.
“Okay, you can have one.” She checks the bag and closes it with the same speed. “Just not the chocolate fudge ones, those are mine. Deal?”
“Deal,” I tell her and palm her perfect breast for no reason whatsoever.
She reaches into the bag and gently tells me, “Close your eyes and open your mouth.”
I do as she says and she places a piece of chocolate in my mouth. With the first chew, an explosion of taste and emotions rush through me. Caramel marshmallow, Harmony’s favorite. For the first time in fucking years, tears sting my eyes and overflow, burning a raw path along my cheeks.
Chapter 08
***Xena***
My heart breaks for this strong man. I shouldn’t have done it but deep down I knew he wanted this piece. Why else would he unconsciously slip out it was his daughter’s favorite? I just know he didn’t mean to let me know because it was clearly written all over his face after the words slipped out.
I try to lighten the mood since he doesn’t strike me as a man who would easily let his emotions out. Hell, if I had to guess...I don’t think he ever has. It’s all built up inside him, tucked away and shoved so deep the grief is carved into his soul.
I let my hands slide around him to hug him tight. “It’s okay,” I tell him. “You can have some of the others. Not all, though, some.” I clench my teeth and try to make it hard for me to admit, “Okay, maybe just one more. One, uh huh, only one.”
Lochlan snorts and my heart lightens from the fact his hands go around me as he pulls me tighter against him, burying his head in the crook of my neck. Minutes pass and how emotions were running high a moment ago, our bodies are now merged and start to slow into the kind of calmness that’s comforting for the both of us. As our emotions calm, so does my body, and my eyes drift shut.
Lochlan shifts in my arms, waking me up, and I notice the rays of sun shining through the curtains. We fell asleep holding each other. The whole turn of events drained the both of us. Even if this man carries truckloads of excessive damage, I’m not letting it stop me from getting to know him better.
Well, if he will let me. Even if he shared glimpses yesterday, it’s not enough for me to even get an idea of what he went through. Even if it all carved him into the man he is today. Strong. Determined. Loyal. Damn protective and isn’t afraid to voice his point of view.
“I need to get up...but I don’t want to,” Lochlan states against the skin of my neck.
“I don’t have to.” Even if the pain in my foot is reduced to a soft throbbing as a reminder I can’t use it today, it doesn’t stop me from enjoying some days off.
If all of this didn’t happen yesterday, I would have to work tonight and have to do auditions and all other things involving responsibilities
the rest of the week. Yet now...nothing, my whole schedule is cleared and it feels damn magnificent.
“I don’t have to adult today because of you. Sweet revenge, seeing you have to,” I tell him and pat his back as he groans, making me chuckle, but also curious. “What do you have to do today?”
He rolls to his back and throws his arms across his eyes to block out the light. “Church for a quick meeting. Then I have to tail the fucker I’m investigating to get a better feel of the dude. I’ll be here later tonight. I’ll call Ramrod and have Doll check up on you.”
My phone dings with a message. Scrambling up, I grab it and check. “Oh, no need,” I tell him. “I just got a text from Doll telling me Lips and her are waiting for me at the clubhouse to have lunch together and chat. You know, girl time.”
Lochlan groans, “You can’t.”
I plunk back down on the bed beside him. “And why is that?”
“Because Lips is the Prez’s ol’lady and will ask questions and shit.” Lochlan sits up and pierces me with his gaze. “I’m fucking serious, you can’t.”
I keep staring at him, dumbfounded, until it hits me. “Are you saying she’s gonna try some matchmaking tricks on us?”
“Fuck, yeah,” Lochlan growls. “And don’t let her ink you either.”
Now this catches my attention. “Don’t let her ink me? Believe me, when I get a tattoo it will be one with meaning. Something I’ve thought about thoroughly before putting on my skin permanently.” I roll my eyes at his concern. That is until I remember the matching ink I’ve seen on a few couples around here, Doll explained it to me. “Oh, you mean the patch, don’t you? The one for an ol’lady and their ol’man?”
He gives a tight nod. “Lips can be quite persuasive.”
“Meh,” I shrug, “don’t worry about it. I’m not a bitch in heat who will bind you to me.” Shit. I see him flinch and know it was the wrong thing to say. I give him a mischievous smile in an effort to lighten the mood. “I will tell her up front what the deal is between us. We’re,”
I don’t get to say besties to taunt him, because Lochlan flashes up, grabs me, pins me underneath him and crashes his mouth over mine.
Okay, if this man applies this technique every time I’m about to say besties...I will use it loads of times, it’ll be his own damn fault. I don’t even like the cliché term much, it’s just funny to use at times when I feel overly dramatic. But now it might jump to being my favorite word if it draws out this reaction.
My hands roam over his back and I let my foot trail...white hot pain flashes through me, making me break the scorching kiss. Dammit.
Lochlan takes the opportunity to get off the bed. “This proves my point. You need to take it slow and keep your foot elevated.”
I bite my lip before I let something slip like ‘no shit, Sherlock.’ I’m most definitely not a happy camper like I was a moment ago where I was enjoying the kissing and feeling up. Now he’s off the bed and it makes my injury feel more like punishment.
“I hate when chicks pout, but dammit, woman...how can you make that shit sexy?” Lochlan chuckles.
“Being naked helps, I guess,” I mutter in frustration, making him laugh harder.
“Like I said, I need to get some work done. I have to be in church in fifteen minutes,” Lochlan states and the regret in his voice is kinda soothing, knowing he wished we had time to enjoy ourselves in bed some more. “Gimme your phone and I’ll put my number in there. I know Doll, Lips, or any of my brothers can get a hold of me, but,”
“Here.” I hold it out for him to take. There’s no need for him to give any other reason. I wait for him to hand it back and say, “But fair warning though...I might text inappropriate messages for my own pleasure.”
A huge grin spreads on his face. “Well then, be prepared to get some back in return.”
“You know I’ll be having a harder time than you, right? With Lips being near and the stuff you just said about her, she’s very perceptive. And if you reply with inappropriate things, making me blush and all.”
“The woman needs to mind her own fucking business,” Lochlan states and starts to dress. “Don’t ever act different. I hate when people adjust for others or hide their true selves. I like how you don’t back off and say how it is.”
Okay, then. Now I’m the one wearing a huge smile. I manage to slide off the bed and grab the crutches. I can handle a few steps without them but I promised not to put any pressure on it for a few days so crutches it is.
Lochlan leans in and spreads kisses along my neck, leaving a trail of fiery lust in its path. Dammit. I have no clue what it is between us, and I’m all for seeing where this will go, but I’m fairly sure we’ve past the point of friends and I hope Lochlan is aware too.
“Be back late,” he mumbles against my skin.
“Bring food home, like a good husband, or don’t bother coming home at all,” I tell him in an overdramatic whiny voice.
I feel him smile against me while his chuckle warms my whole body. “You really are something, you know that, right?”
“Meh,” I shrug, “just promise you’ll love me the same way when I get fat and have bad skin from all the food and chocolate you’re gonna spoil me with.”
“Fucking hell.” Lochlan’s laughter now bounces off the walls.
I can hardly keep my own laughter inside because his laugh is infectious. “You know I’m kidding, right? I can never have bad skin. I’m extraordinary and will maintain this high-quality perfection.”
He leans in and kisses my nose with such tenderness it makes my breath hitch. “Damn perfect all right.”
Lochlan spins on his heels and leaves the room. I’m glad because I can finally breathe normal to get my heartbeat under control. Dammit. It’s going to be a struggle getting through this next little bit while staying with him and not falling hard for this man. I think it’s already too late.
All too soon I hear a knock on the door and I’m glad I managed to get dressed in time. By the sound of the muted mumbling, I’m pretty sure it’s Doll. I slowly manage to get to it and open the door for her. She barges inside, Lips too, along with a few kids stumbling around behind them.
I’ve been coming around the clubhouse for a while now when I visit Doll and since her ol’man babysits...yeah, let’s just say I know these kids better than some of the bikers who walk around here. Just because I—and life—decide kids won’t be a part of my life, doesn’t mean I hate them. In fact, I enjoy their company from time to time. Those little humans are honest and have a special outlook on life that gives me joy.
“Hey, you guys. No school?” I ask Hadley, who’s deaf, so I make sure she’s looking right at me. She reads lips and I’m very thankful because other than knowing a few words I suck at sign language.
These bikers though? Doll told me how everyone embraced her when Depay found out he had a daughter he hadn’t even known about for years. And for her to be deaf didn’t stop him from being her father in every way. The little girl’s mother died, but she gained a big family to give her all the support she needs.
Hadley smiles and shakes her head. Lips answers for her, “Nope, no school today so we’re having a party, right kids?”
Wyatt, the adopted son of Roan and Broke, is almost two and starts to clap his hands. Arrow, Depay and Diamond’s son, joins in and so does Esmee, Deeds and Lips’ daughter.
“Let’s build ourselves a teepee,” I state, knowing very well I always loved to sit underneath a table when my mom threw a sheet over it when I was a kid. It doesn’t take much to entertain the little ones.
Lips shoots me a grin while the kids start to cheer. “I like the way you think.”
“Oh, I have more brilliant ideas to keep them busy for hours, no worries.” I smile back as the kids start to run toward the main clubhouse.
“Do you need any help?” Doll eyes me as I slowly follow the kids down the hall.
“Don’t start with me, I’m not a little helpless woman. You out of all peop
le know better than anyone else around me. The only one I’ll let pamper me is Lochlan. That man is made to bring me comfort food.” I shoot Doll a grin and over her shoulder I catch Lips’ interest written plainly on her face.
Shit. Wrong words to mention. I shouldn’t plant ideas in her head, especially ones that will lead to annoying questions or get her to butt in on playing cupid.
“I’m all about food,” I add, and swing back to focus on the kids. “I need one of you to make me soup.”
“Sooooouuuppppp,” Esmee squeaks, making me laugh.
The last time I saw her we made soup too. Meaning we had a big bowl of water and threw in every tiny, plastic, animal toy she had. Add a huge soup spoon and we played for hours. I never was one for the ordinary, I mentioned that, right? Even with imaginary stuff. So, no drinking tea with stuffed animals. Slurping crazy soup is more my style.
Hours later Lips, Doll, and I are sitting peacefully at the table while the kids are playing underneath another table we threw a sheet over. We have the perfect view of them playing with the imaginary soup and their giggles fill the room inside the clubhouse.
I’ve been grilled a few times by Lips, but have managed to dodge some questions that became too personal. When she started with ‘what’s Lochlan’s deal’ I got pissed and told her to mind her own business. I’m not even poking his shit, she needs to leave him be. It earned me an appreciated grin and with it I realized I walked straight into that one going all defensive on his behalf.
The door to the clubhouse opens and Deeds strolls inside along with Depay, with Lochlan following right behind. I need to get my girly parts under control. I swear they start to sing the moment this man so much as walks in my line of sight. His eyes land on mine and I try to keep a straight face but I might swoon a bit when he shoots me a wink.
Lochlan (Broken Deeds MC, #5) Page 6