“Than you?” I said incredulously. “Get that shit out of your head. Everything’s better with you. Everything.” I pointed to my straining cock. “Especially when it comes to you touching me like that.”
Her soft chuckle blew air across my heated flesh and I nearly groaned.
I cupped her chin. “Before you, my life was empty, including the sex.”
She spread her hands out and ran them down my thighs. The horny guy inside me willed her to drift closer to my dick, but the married man trying to make sure his wife knew how much he desired her held it in.
She chewed the inside of her lip as she brushed a hand up my leg. I let out a ragged moan when her warm hand gripped the shaft. “I still don’t have much experience with this. I should probably practice.”
“As much as you want. I’m not going to complain.”
She scooted closer and I widened my legs for her. Her mouth descended on the tip and I was riveted. Her lips opened and my lungs froze. She sucked me into her mouth and my head dropped back. “Kate. Goddamn.”
She played. That was the only way I could describe it. I held back as much as I could to keep from choking her with wild, aimless thrusts. But she toyed with me. I didn’t care if she was doing it intentionally or not. My balls were strung tight. My spine sizzled with unspent energy, but she didn’t settle on a rhythm.
She was studying me. Pumping my shaft while her head bobbed up and down. Another low groan eked out of me when she gave my balls a squeeze. She kept doing it. Pumping and squeezing and sucking.
I like where we’re at. It’s enough, Aiden. It’s enough.
Had there been resignation in her words? Was she giving me a blow job because she didn’t want me to question her easy acceptance? She’d tell me if she had an issue with waiting—
She swirled her tongue around the tip and licked all the way down.
“Kate.” My fingers curled into the armrest.
She had free rein to do whatever the hell she wanted with me. I was getting close when she ran her tongue around the crown. My hips jacked up.
“I’m not going to last long,” I warned her, but she didn’t stop. My hips had a mind of their own, but she moved with me. I rolled my hips up and she sucked me down.
Fucking divine.
I did it again. And again.
“Kate—” That was all the warning I could get out, but she didn’t stop.
Lightning gripped my body. I barked out her name, my back bowing as my balls drew impossibly tighter, and released into her hot mouth.
My wife was drinking me down. I was spasming too hard to stare, but I caught enough of the erotic picture to never forget it.
When I sagged, she released my cock with a pop and sat back, wiping off her mouth. The self-satisfied expression on her face would’ve made me chuckle if I’d had enough energy after the most amazing blow job.
I gathered her onto my lap, careful of my ultra-sensitive dick. To let her know that nothing she could do would turn me off, I brought her head down and kissed her. She stiffened for a heartbeat before she melted into me.
Her flannel-clad ass stroked against my cock and the sensitivity changed from needing a moment to ready to go.
I broke the kiss to murmur a thank-you against her lips. I didn’t just mean for the last few minutes, but for understanding me, for being patient.
She tucked her head under my chin. I couldn’t see her expression. I was afraid to. What decision had she come to before she’d crawled toward me? It wasn’t about whether or not to give me a blow job.
I needed time to prove to her that she’d made the right decision, whatever it was.
Chapter 19
Kate
* * *
My birthdays were usually a quiet meal out. Aiden would take a couple of hours off and maybe work from home the rest of the night. He wasn’t doing that tonight.
I was seated in the back room of a steak house, a boisterous place where my family could laugh and my mom’s smoky cackle would get lost in the noise. Caleb and Corbin argued until baskets of warm buns were set in front of them. Then they argued over the last bun until Aiden ordered more.
Aiden, Jason, and Matt were engrossed in talks about the wrestling club. Jason and Matt peppered Randall with a million things they thought he should do to grow and expand the place. Randall asked each of them if they were going to help, and then the discussion dissolved into brainstorming. Aiden listened but didn’t add much. He probably agreed with Jason and Matt, but his time reading people in the boardroom made him sensitive to Randall’s weariness.
Aiden had asked once if money was the issue. Money was always an issue, but in Randall’s case, it was the paperwork. The background checks on all the new coaches, the training, and keeping up with all the USA Wrestling rules. Randall wouldn’t let just any coach near his kids. Families paid the club money and Randall took that responsibility seriously. His mission statement was about teaching and empowering kids through the sport of wrestling. The wrestling came last. Teaching and empowering would always be first.
My husband had heard a few of these discussions, but tonight was different. It was Aiden’s mildly wistful expression. The arrogant tilt he had to his mouth was natural. It had nothing to do with arrogance and everything to do with genetics. I’d seen pictures of Sarah. Hers had probably come off as a secretive smile. On Aiden, I’d dubbed it resting business face. But that arrogant tilt was tipped back more tonight, like he was drawing into himself. Like he wanted to help, but he and Randall both only had twenty-four hours in a day. Time would always be an issue as long as King Oil was in his life.
It was his baby.
Violet tugged on my sleeve. “Aunt Katie, wanna play tic-tac-toe?” She shoved a blue crayon toward me and positioned the kids’ menu between us.
I didn’t have a choice, but I wanted to play with her. It’d keep my gaze off the absentminded way Sophie ran her hand through Corbin’s hair as he played some sort of game against Caleb on their parents’ phones. How Ada was attuned to Violet and her needs as she visited with me and Mom.
Violet put an X in the middle, and since I’d grown up with ruthless brothers, I put my O in the top corner. A few ticks later and I had two ways to win while Violet lost.
Instead of being scandalized, Violet’s mouth hung open. “How does that work?”
“It doesn’t all the time, but always start in the corner and your odds are better.”
We played through the ready-made tic-tac-toe boards, then Violet drew a new one before each game.
After legitimately losing a round, I caught Ada grinning at us.
“Thanks for inviting us out,” she said.
“Anytime.” Aiden had made the arrangements but had asked me to contact everyone.
“It’s been really nice,” Sophie added. “Seeing you more. I know the boys enjoy it.”
I’d been to their tournament last week. Aiden was crunching numbers and redesigning King Oil, so he’d missed it. He’d promised the boys he’d catch the next one, and he’d never made a promise like that. It’d be after the board meeting so perhaps he thought either way, he’d have time to get away.
I hoped so. I understood the rationale behind the extra work from the last two months, and that made it easier. I’d also needed the space. I didn’t want him to see me grieving.
He wanted to wait for kids, but I’d seen the reality. His life wasn’t changing. If I wanted to be with him, this was how it would be. No kids, him dedicated to his job. Some women might end the relationship and find someone else to have a family with.
I’d made my decision. When we’d discussed it again that night on the couch, and he’d said he wanted to wait, I knew that it’d never happen. And that I had a decision to make.
Aiden was it for me. I wanted my life with him. I had thought that life included trying to grow a family, but it didn’t. No matter what Aiden thought, it didn’t.
I had the urge to call Bisa. To sit on the phone with her while we
each ate ice cream in our separate homes in our separate states, but her parents were visiting from Ghana. I wasn’t going to intrude on her time with them. It wasn’t like she could take regular international trips on a children’s librarian’s wage.
So I sucked it up. Truthfully, I’d had four years to come to the realization that it wasn’t going to happen. After learning why Aiden was the way he was, how critical it was for him to fulfill his responsibilities, I understood.
Letting go of one dream in order to live another wasn’t easy, but I had so much. Trying not to dwell on what I didn’t have would get easier. Some day.
Aiden
* * *
The last of my slides was on the smart screen mounted to the wall. The board considered my talk. Kendall gave me an encouraging smile.
My data had been all-encompassing. I’d interviewed the CEO and three VPs from a Canadian oil company, two more leadership teams from E&P companies in Texas, and even one in Saudi Arabia. I’d compiled data from three thesis papers about leadership styles in oil companies, and I’d interviewed the authors as well. I had data from publicly traded companies and from private firms like King Oil.
We were the only company that ran with a skeleton leadership crew. The only company where the leaders acted in a management role more than as mentors and figureheads. And the only company who’d caved to the whims of its original owner. That part I left unsaid. It would be obvious.
That original owner had pinched features and pursed lips. Her skin was tinged red.
I exchanged a look with Dad.
Grams was pissed.
Calvin, a longtime acquaintance of Grams and a board member who often followed her lead, tapped his pen. “What, exactly, are you asking for?”
For fuck’s sake. “We want to restructure the company.”
“And you told the world?” Grams snapped.
Ah hell. I’d plowed into my information gathering in order to be armed to the teeth against Grams’s rebuttals, and I’d forgotten that I’d committed the unholiest sin of all.
I’d leaked our business.
Every other oil company was competition in Grams’s eyes. She didn’t believe in colleagues or camaraderie outside of King Oil. She’d grown up in a kill-or-be-eaten world. Business was cutthroat and those who slashed first stayed alive.
It was why the company had had to be restructured when Dad took over as CEO. He’d had a good reputation and so his last name had been plastered all over while Grams’s had been moved to the background.
“I discussed leadership styles with them, yes,” I answered evenly. “We didn’t discuss business otherwise.”
“Yet what are they going to think? King Oil is crumbling from the inside out.”
Dad spoke up. “It’s not unusual for companies to restructure.” He gave Grams a knowing look. “I’m not talking about changing out people, but changing processes.”
Her eyes narrowed. Calling her out like that in front of the other four board members hadn’t been a good idea. But the point had to be made.
Calvin tapped his pen. He did it every time he wanted to talk. The man had programmed us well. When that damn pen tapped, we shut up and waited for him to speak. “Do you think this is a good time for upheaval? Our wells in western North Dakota and eastern Montana are running at a quarter of what they were ten years ago.”
“That would make it an ideal time,” Kendall said as if Calvin had unknowingly answered the question himself. “When things in the field are quieter, we have more flexibility.”
Grams pounced on Kendall before she could continue. “If you’re so flexible, then why the need for restructuring?”
“Emilia.” Dad folded his hands. “We’re running the inner office with one more person than you and DB had when you started with a few wells on Cartwright land.” It’d been Dad, Grams, and DB. Dad and I had Kendall and Phillip.
“And we’ve expanded into three states.” Emilia looked at each person lining the table. “Now you have marketing departments. HR. IT. Accounting.”
Calvin’s pen tapped. I rolled my eyes. Kendall caught the move and her agreeing sigh was silent, but I saw it.
“Why don’t we take some time to study your data, Aiden,” Calvin said. “It’s a lot of information for us to make such a major decision.”
Except that was what the board did when they never wanted to make a decision. They kept putting us off until we quit asking. It’d been annoying before. It was enraging now.
“How much time?” I asked.
Grams lifted a manicured brow. “There’s no need to rush on a matter like this.”
Before Christmas, I’d used the same stalling tactic on Kendall. I needed to tell her that she ought to key my pickup for how I’d acted. I wanted a decision now. I didn’t want to work eighty-hour weeks while they ignored all the data I’d compiled. Like the chart I had designed that showed how we could promote from within and recruit from outside, incorporating a new leadership style without disrupting the daily work of the rest of the staff.
That chart had taken me two full weekends to organize, and that had been done assuming the people we hoped would accept a promotion would actually want the job. Two full weekends I could’ve watched my niece and nephews wrestle, taken Kate to visit her brothers or mine, or just spent time talking to my wife.
The patience I usually armed myself with when dealing with the board and Grams wavered. “How about we set a deadline for when we want to make the final decision?”
Calvin’s pen tapped and I envisioned throwing it on the floor and stomping on it. “We can’t be hasty.”
“Calvin’s right,” Grams agreed. “But we can use the next month to review your presentation, Aiden. Send us a link.” She scanned the room. “Do I have a motion to adjourn the meeting?”
I glowered at my tablet. The last slide showed on my screen. My work was impeccable. Kendall’s was as well. I’d combined her plans to expand our staff with my leadership overhaul. If this worked, we’d have room to breathe. We’d be able to have a life outside of work. And for once in my life, that was becoming more and more important. I went from being afraid of having to manage someone again and failing, to wishing I had at least a vice president and an executive assistant working under me.
The entire time I’d worked on this damn project, I’d feared a resurgence of those divorce papers. We hadn’t ripped them up. They were in a drawer. I’d tossed them in with the Scotch tape, the screwdriver, and the extra batteries I never knew were good or dead. The junk drawer. Where the papers deserved to be if they weren’t going in the shredder.
Kate had been quiet for the last month. I hadn’t come right out and asked her what was wrong, but something was. We talked. We had sex. A lot of it. But a part of her was distant from me and I wasn’t sure how to ask. The problem in our marriage had been me not sharing. What did I do when it was Kate?
The words “meeting adjourned” rang through the room. I slammed my laptop shut and stuffed my notes inside my tablet sleeve.
Grams stood at my side, her fingertips pressed into the table top. “This company was supposed to remain a family company. For you and your brothers.”
My patience snapped. I gave her a hard look. Her brows rose, and she studied me. I was so carefully neutral around Grams, and I should still try to be. She hadn’t directly crapped my plan out of existence, but she didn’t like it. She didn’t want to change, but the main difference was that now I was ready to.
I needed this to be different. All of it. “You can’t create a company by devouring everything around you and then act shocked when that company starts devouring itself.”
She recoiled. I didn’t know if it was from what I’d said or the heat in my tone. I didn’t care.
I gathered my things and stalked out of the meeting. I had work to do. No matter what, that didn’t change.
Chapter 20
Aiden
* * *
Parents filtered out. One of the last tournaments o
f the season always drew a large crowd, but now it was done. I had watched the whole damn thing. I’d gone into work early to wrap up some reports and then met Kate here before the first match started. Those reports still weren’t done, but the will to stay in my office wasn’t there. I had more important places to be.
I’d seen Corbin wrestle. Violet too. She’d even waved at me, grinning with her little headgear over her ears, as she strutted onto the mat. Ada had warned me that Violet would hit me up for an after-action report of her performance.
Kate left the gymnasium with Violet so the girl could change out of her singlet. Ada had to go to work, but Kate said she’d wait with Violet until Matt picked her up.
I made my way to the gym floor. I’d help with the mats. The corner of my mouth ticked up. I couldn’t enter the club room without thinking of how Kate and I had wrestled there.
Randall made sure to high-five or knuckle-bump every wrestler before they left. He told them something great they’d done that day, or a way they’d improved. He was a good coach, and he was going to miss this. He’d told Kate that he would’ve liked this year to be his last, but next year would definitely be it. As long as he found someone competent enough to run the club. The competent part was easier to find than someone with the time. It would be a part-time gig on top of whatever full-time job the new person would already be working, and for a few months of the year, the coaching side of the job kicked up to nearly full time. Running the club didn’t pay enough to support a full-time position. Maybe he could’ve gotten it there, but he’d had the same roadblock. Not enough time.
Randall found me after all the attendees were gone. He clapped me on the back. “Thanks for coming. I think Corbin tried extra hard to live up to the tales his daddy told about you.”
“Glad I could make it.”
“You don’t have to help. A few of the older kids volunteered. They get volunteer credits for some club they’re in.”
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