by Goode, Ella
“What for?”
“For ornaments!”
Four bags of microwave popcorn later, Faith has me on the sofa threading popcorn onto a string. “You’re pretty handy with a needle,” she observes, taking another picture. I try not to scowl.
“You sure that you want to put me on the internet as proof you’re having a good time?”
“You have no idea,” she says in a strange, almost awed tone. She hops over and puts the phone screen in front of me. “Look at how awesome you look. I would be jealous of whoever posted this picture. It’s like too perfect to be true.”
I scrutinize the image. Bear’s resting next to me, his head hanging over the edge of the cushion. Smittens is curled up around the ol’ boy’s neck. As for me, I look like I’m struggling getting a popcorn kernel onto a string. It’s a truthful photo all right, but somehow she’s made it look good--homey and inviting.
“Yeah, I guess it’s nice. How’s this going to make your”—I gag on the word—”ex jealous?”
“Just me landing on my feet, I think. Exes always want you to be miserable.”
“Do you want your ex to be miserable?”
She stops tapping and cocks her head to the side. “No. I guess I don’t.”
“Does that mean we can fuck then?”
Chapter Twelve
Faith
“Fine.” I turn, heading toward the bedroom. I post the pictures to my Instagram as I head down the hallway. I have a moment of regret as I do. I’m not sure I want to share my special moment with Conn. Then I remember what this is really about. I pull the giant sweater over my head, dropping it as I go. “No pie for me,” I snip. “We’ll fuck, as you like to put it.” I let my bra drop next as I enter his bedroom.
I don’t know why I’m so mad at him for calling it fucking. Of course, it’s what he wants to do. He’s done everything that I’ve asked today. From getting the tree to decorating and even letting me take some pictures, so I guess it’s my turn to return the favor. In the end, all men are the same when it comes to wanting sex.
Well, everyone besides my ex, who never wanted to have it. That was, until our relationship was over and then all of a sudden he wanted to fuck. I really shouldn't be mad at Conn. I’d pretty much been the one to ask him to take my cherry. I just thought it would be a little different. I wanted to spend a little time getting to know him but like I said, I shouldn’t be mad.
This was the plan all along so we might as well get to it. I have been using him to post stupid pictures to make everyone back home think that I am happy. That I didn't need them to have a holiday. That I could have one all on my own with someone else. I always planned our family’s, but they never cared about how much effort I put into it. It’s not that I want to upset them, but I want them to see for once that I was a part of the family. That maybe they might miss me now that I’m not there. I’m not even sure why I care but I do.
A small spark of hope lit inside of me when Conn said he was going to get the tree because he knew it would make me happy. It made me think that someone finally cared about how I felt about something. But now I see that it’s not that at all. He was only going through the motions to get what he wanted. It is still about the sex. Again, I shouldn’t be mad because I do want to have sex with Conn but secretly I was wanting it to be more. The little time that I have spent with Conn has made me happy. It’s only been hours since I met my grumpy lumberjack, who keeps denying that he’s even a lumberjack, and I am getting attached. I’m basically a stage five clinger at this point.
I pull down my pants next, dropping them to the floor. I notice in Conn’s spotless house that I seem to make a lot of messes. I turn to the door but he isn't there.
“Are we fucking or what?” I shout. Why isn’t he coming? Out of nowhere it sounds like a damn bear is barreling down the hall.
“Watch your mouth,” he says as he enters his bedroom. He looks as pissed as ever. He stops short when he sees me standing there completely naked. I’m not embarrassed of my body, so I put my hand on my hip because he’s about to get a piece of my mind. I stand there in all my naked glory as he scowls at me and I do the same to him.
“So you can say fuck but I can’t?” I raise my other hand, placing it on my other hip. He tries to be a gentleman and keep his eyes on mine but I can tell it’s taking every bit of self-control he has. I actually think I see a small smile grace those lips of his. He’s already seen me naked before. I was spread out on his bed as he feasted on me.
“Don’t talk about it as if it doesn’t have any meaning.” Now he’s the one getting pissy about the word fuck. I’m not sure if my lumberjack is coming or going. I’m not even sure if he knows. Why can’t we call it something else? Lovemaking? I feel my cheeks heat at my own thoughts.
He slowly approaches me. I soften a little the closer he gets. He stops in front of me, seeming to breathe me in. My nipples tighten and it’s not from the cold. His presence has me wet between my thighs. His hand reaches up to caress my face. “Get dressed. I hear there are Christmas movies on tv tonight.”
Those are the last words I ever expected to come out of this big lug’s mouth. I stand shocked for a minute before I lower my hands and then jump on him. He catches me and wraps me up in his big arms. My body molds to his as if it’s done it a million times. I can feel his erection through his pants but he doesn’t try to take it any further. He kisses my mouth gently before I slide down him to get back to my feet. I bite my lip, wanting to watch the holiday movies with him and snuggle but now that I was wrapped around him I want to get back into the bed with him too.
“I’ll be out there waiting for you.” He reaches over to the bed and grabs the throw that’s on top of it, wrapping it around my shoulders. Something passes between us that I can’t explain before he turns to head back out of the room.
“Conn,” I call out, making him turn to look at me. “You have a tv, right?” He smiles this time, shaking his head. “I’m going to get my Christmas pjs on and I’ll be right out.” I bet I can turn our movie watching into one of those hot makeout sessions that I know people have on the sofa. This holiday is turning out way better than I could have ever hoped for.
I might only get it this once but I am going to treasure every second of it.
Chapter Thirteen
Conn
Christmas movies aren’t so bad, I decide, looking down at the small body curled up next to me. Faith doesn’t look that much different than Smittens at the moment. Faith’s head is in my lap and her legs are tucked up close to her body. Her face wears a peaceful, happy expression. I’m relieved. She seemed pissed before I brought her out to watch It’s a Wonderful Life and White Christmas. The first one made her tear up but she assured me they were happy tears—whatever those are—but the singing and dancing in the second movie made her laugh. She eyed me a couple of times during that one, but I refused to meet her gaze. I’ve never been graceful like the men on television and if I tried to dance, I’d end up stepping on her feet, my feet, Bear’s feet and maybe even Smittens’. In the end, we’d all be crying and they would be sad and angry tears.
We started a third movie about a human elf. It was funny but halfway through she passed out. It might’ve been from the rum I kept pouring into her cider or it could’ve been just from the long day. I get up and gently move Smittens to the side. She raises her head, gives me a disgruntled mewl and then buries her nose under her tail.
I try to be extra careful picking up Faith and, fortunately, she doesn’t wake. Carrying her is less strenuous than carting around the bag of sand. I’m going to make her pancakes in the morning topped with strawberries and whipped cream and lots of butter. She should be as heavy as two bags of sand, in my opinion.
I lay her down on the big mattress, cover her up and get ready for bed myself. As I’m brushing my teeth, I think about the whole fucking thing. Faith said she wanted some revenge sex but when it came right down to it, she wasn’t ready. I lick my lips, remembering her swee
t taste on my tongue. Being in between her legs was the best moment of my life. I’d give my left nut to be back there. Wait...I pull out my brush and spit. Could I still get it up if I didn’t have both nuts? Let me revise. I’d give my left arm to be back between her legs, eating her pussy, drinking down her cum. But she wants something more. What she wants is a mystery. Maybe it’s pancakes. Maybe it’s another kitten. Maybe it’s more Christmas decorations.
I snap my fingers. That’s it. She loves Christmas. I hate it because I don’t understand why we get excited over an ordinary day in the winter. It’s not even when the baby Jesus was born so we’re expected to trot out a bunch of decorations, make special food, and all that shi—stuff on a day that doesn’t even have any meaning. It’d be like celebrating your mom’s birthday a week before it actually happened.
Logic aside, though, this is a holiday lots of people love and most important, it’s a holiday that Faith loves. It’s a good thing she’s sleeping because I’ve got work to do. I don’t have Christmas lights, but I find a bunch of lightbulbs. It takes a bit, but I’m able to rig them together. I string them above the fireplace. It looks...raw rather than festive. I pull them down and paint the bulbs with paint I had left over from touching up the mower along with white paint from the trim inside the house. The painted bulbs look a lot better.
What else is Christmassy? I do a little internet searching. The results depress me because I don’t have ornaments or tinsel or fake snow. I can cook though. I whip up a batch of cookies, roll the dough out with a beer bottle and then cut out shapes of trees and snowmen. They bake up nicely and the white frosting isn’t terrible. I put some of these on the tree and some on a plate for Faith to eat after she’s done with the pancakes. Outside, I find pine cones and some mistletoe. I guess there are advantages to living in the woods. I use the green and white paint on the pine cones and while the green ones tend to blend, the white ones look decent. A bag of marshmallows gets sacrificed for snowmen with little pieces of raisins for eyes. Those are probably my best work. With some extra pine boughs, I fashion a wreath and hang that under the string of painted light bulbs.
After the house—well, the living room—is decorated, I grab one of my sweaters. It’s a black one and I can’t remember how it found its way into my closet. Maybe Old Karen from the store in town sold it to me. Using the last of my paint, I decorate it with trees, ornaments, snowmen and leave it out to dry. Tomorrow I’ll put it on and Faith can take photos for her internet account.
An engine motoring up my lane catches my attention and when I look out the front window, I see that night has passed. The sun is climbing its way toward its mid-morning placement. Bear comes shuffling down the hall with Smittens riding on his back. I open the front door and Bear rumbles outside. An expensive black SUV barely misses my dog before sliding to a stop about twenty feet from my front door. My hackles rise at the unwanted intruders. This isn’t King and his woman. It’s a different set of people—a pinch-faced man and a woman whose hair has so much hairspray in it, the wintery breeze isn’t moving it.
“Hellloooo!” the woman says. “I’m Trish!” She bounds up the stairs with her hand out. The man follows behind at a slower pace.
“You lost?” I ask, folding my arms across my chest.
Trish stops one step below me. Irritation flashes across her face when she sees I’m not going to shake her hand. “I don’t think so,” she says, forcing a smile. “I was told that my dear sister Faith was staying here. I’ve come to bring her home.”
Chapter Fourteen
Faith
I roll over at the sound of voices coming from somewhere in the house. Conn’s side of the bed is empty and cold. I don’t remember moving from the sofa to bed last night, which means Conn must have carried me here. Did he not sleep with me? I sit up trying to listen a little better. The voice I hear is soft and feminine. I can almost swear it sounds like Trish but she has no idea where I am. Who is this woman? A spark of jealousy burns in my stomach. A feeling that I’m not used to. I wasn’t even a tiny bit jealous when I found out my ex was sleeping with my stepsister. It only hurts me because I still can’t believe that she would do that to me.
Right now all I feel is pure jealousy. Conn didn’t sleep in bed with me last night and now there is another woman in the house. I throw my legs over the side of the bed, hopping down from it and deciding to make my way to see who this woman is. I don’t know what's gotten into me but I pull my pajamas from me before digging through a drawer to find one of his shirts to slide over my head. I tousle my hair a little next before finding a pair of his socks and slipping them onto my feet.
I head into the bathroom, making sure I look like I had a wild night that wasn’t only filled with Christmas movies and cuddling into Conn. I thought we’d end up making out or something but instead we spent the whole night snuggled up together with our furry babies. How did he go from wanting to fuck me as he put it to not making a single move on me? He only held me tight as we watched movie after movie. He’d often get up to get us snacks before letting me cuddle back into his side where he wrapped his arm around me to hold me close. I look at myself in the mirror trying to pull myself together. It’s probably just King again and that nice woman that came with him last time. I hate the insecurity that I’m feeling right now. More, I hate that my stepsister and ex are the ones that have given it to me.
I make my way out of the bathroom to go find out why Conn decided not to stay in bed with me and who the heck is here so early in the morning. I freeze in the hallway at the sound of the woman’s voice. This time I know for sure who it is. Trish. I stand frozen. How did she find me? No way would Nora have told her where I was.
“You are a handsome thing aren’t you?” Trish says in her sweet honey tone voice that always has men falling all over her. I once thought it was funny how she could get them to do anything for her. Right now, all I feel is red hot rage. I may not have been mad when I found out about her and my ex, but Conn is different. He’s mine and no one is taking him from me. I mean, I want to have sex with him and she’s not beating me to it. You know, the revenge sex that I’ve been talking about.
I stomp down the hallway, trying to sound as loud as Conn does when he walks normally down it but I know I’m nowhere as loud. They both turn to look my way. Trish’s eyes go wide for a moment when she sees me, reminding me of what I’m wearing. My eyes flick to Conn, who has his arms folded over his chest. I thought I was mad. But he looks livid. I glance back to my stepsister but my eyes can’t help but notice all the Christmas decorations. My hands come to my mouth as I take it all in. He must have stayed up all night doing this.
“I don’t like her,” Conn says.
“Did you do all this?” I motion to the Christmas stuff.
“Yes.” He drops his arms as he turns more toward me. He’s behind the breakfast bar, using it to keep space between Trish and him. I know somehow he’s done this on purpose. “She brought that fuck face with her.” I know immediately that Conn is talking about Ben. My ex. Is that jealousy I hear in his voice? I’ll have to explore that later once I figure out what the hell these two fools are doing here.
“Is he still alive?” I gasp. Conn wanted to snap his neck the other night. I would not put it past him. Suddenly, I’m hit hard with the truth of what’s going on here. Conn is rough around the edges. Still, he cooked for me, watched Christmas movies with me, decorated his home, got me a tree, and refused to let anyone take me from here. He even got pissed when he thought someone hurt me. He also gave me the greatest pleasure of my life. He doesn’t want to fuck me. He might be calling it that but Conn wants to keep me. I also have to admit to myself that I don’t want revenge sex, I want him, all of him.
“He won’t let him in!” Trish stomps her foot, pointing her perfectly painted nail at Conn. “I thought he wanted me alone at first.” She glares at Conn, having figured out her games aren’t going to work on him.
“Yeah. I didn’t want any witnesses when I sn
ap your neck.”
I bite my lip to keep from laughing. Trish gasps.
“He just threatened me!” Trish looks to me. “I’m calling the cops. Get your things.”
“I didn’t hear him threaten you.”
“Leave George alone. He doesn’t need you calling him this early. His wife just had a baby and he’ll only come out here to tell you what I already told you.” He stares dead at Trish. “Get the fuck off my land.”
“Get your things, Faith,” Trish snips at me.
“My control isn’t great. I’m about two seconds from going outside and doing what I’ve been itching to do since you pulled down my drive.”
“He’s not worth it.” I walk over to Conn, putting my hand on his arm. I feel him relax at my touch.
“Faith! We’re leaving.” Trish butts in again.
“I left home for a reason.” I turn my glare on her, no longer feeling like I have to be nice. Conn might be rubbing off on me some. I think it’s a good thing. “I don’t know how you found me to begin with!” I half shout. I didn't tell anyone where I was going for a reason. “Ben is freaking half stalking me. You’re blowing up my phone. Hence why I left and told no one where I was going.”
“You shared your location when you posted your picture to Instagram.” Oh. It can do that? Oops. “And Benjamin is not stalking you.” Trish rolls her eyes. I walk over, finding my phone. I power it on and slide it across the island for her.
“Look at his texts.” I watch her face turn red as she reads through them. All the I’m sorries and he wants me back. He kept messaging me that he didn’t want to be with Trish. He thought he loved her but it’s me he really wants. That Trish had set everything up. She wanted me to fall in love with him and then have him break my heart. That he’d agreed to it because he thought he was in love with Trish but soon learned it was me that he wanted. He only went along with it in hopes of making Trish jealous but in the end he’d fallen for me. It is all a bunch of crap that was crafted by two mean-spirited people. They took my trust for granted and now they can take their butts off of Conn’s land. I’m not leaving. There’s nothing left for me back there. Somehow I know that my future is here with Conn.