Memories surge to the forefront of my psyche, plucked like chosen scenes at stop points in a movie. Only the movie is my life and the moments are specific to Kara.
That first electric touch in the lecture hall at Alameda.
Our first kiss in my apartment.
Touching her beneath the constellations at the observatory.
Watching her wonderment in the hills above the city.
Getting lost in her body between the sheets of my bed.
It’s more than the rush of visuals. It’s a concentration of the sensations and emotions attached with each one of them, supercharging this single moment that I’m certain I’m sharing with a stranger—this powerful, fascinated stranger who seems to have no intentions of stopping the show. But it has to stop. I have to stop it.
With a gut-deep roar, I summon a cruel, primal rage at the violation. I tap a part of myself so deep, it feels wrong but very right. An instinct that was buried in me, so long ago. Calling it up pulls apart all the thoughts he just put back together. Splinters them so violently that all my senses go black for a long moment.
When I can blink myself back to clear vision, I’m a full ten feet away from the bar, damp with sweat and vibrating with the aftershocks of whatever just happened. Hades is still at the bar, though it’s gratifying to see him leaning against it, bracing himself through a lot of harsh breaths. Honey is nowhere to be seen, not that he’d volunteer his account of things if he were here.
“What…” I swallow hard. “What the fuck just happened?”
Hades leans back on the bar with both elbows, shaking his head, speechless.
“Got what you wanted?” I straighten fully, though every muscle and bone protests getting into my menacing stance. “We solid now?”
He laughs and pushes back to his full posture too. There’s not a wrinkle in his suit or his composure as he rakes a fresh smirk over to me. “Oh, Maximus,” he chides. “We’re just getting started.”
I hate him. It’s official now. I hope he receives that message, loud and clear.
I no longer want to beat up the bar. My mind has a new target. But I’m far too stunned to act on any of those budding fantasies. Besides, I don’t imagine giving the god of the underworld a beating is going to resolve a damn thing. I’ll only be adding his wrath to his newfound preoccupation—a preoccupation, I sense, that has landed Kara solidly in his crosshairs. And now, for entirely different reasons than before.
I can’t even issue the warning for him to forget she exists. It’s impossible. Hades makes it so, as his physical body fades away where he stands. In his wake, there’s only a residue of morbid energy—and the billion questions in my baffled mind.
Honey’s amused expression materializes through the thinning smoke where Hades once was. “You need another round?” His gruff hest is like a miracle angel choir right now.
I shake my head. “Bring me the bottle.”
If I can even put a dent in my consciousness right now, I’ll count it as a win.
Chapter Fourteen
Kara
“Gramps,” I gasp.
The woman applying my lipstick pauses long enough to sigh but doesn’t bother to see who’s joined the chaos of the premiere prep squad gathered in the hotel’s penthouse.
The door swings shut with a quiet click, and Gramps hits me with a dashing grin as he walks closer. I’m grateful when the woman finally steps away so I can smile fully at our unexpected guest. Gramps is nearly unrecognizable in his tuxedo. He’s groomed and tall and stunning. I’ve seen him this way plenty of times, but only in old photos. From another, happier time…
I slip off the makeup stool and walk toward him, gathering up the tulle skirts of my dress as I go. His eyes glimmer with emotion.
“Ladybug. Look at you in all that pink.”
I shrug, warmed but a little embarrassed by his praise, and look down at my designer gown. The bodice is fashioned like a corset, seductive but elegant, and I’m sad I’ll have to wait for Maximus to see me in it. I have a feeling he’ll like the look too. A lot…
Have we really been apart just a few hours? I truly hope the movie is riveting, because I’ll need the distraction. I ache with missing him already, but I’m anxious too for whatever Z has planned for their meeting.
I flatten my hands over the fluffy layers of tulle. “Thanks… It’s just another dress. Another event.”
“I know, but I only ever see you like this when they’re talking about you on the news, if you can even call those shows news. It’s different in person seeing you all dolled up.”
Smiling, I reach up to straighten his bowtie. “And I only see you like this in pictures. So handsome. You know, you waited so long, your old-school tux is back in fashion again. You’ll fit right in.”
His eyes dim a little. “Fitting in isn’t my main concern tonight.”
“Oh?” I try to give it a breezy casualness. “So what actually brought you out?”
His warmth recedes a little more. His attention shifts to the other people rushing around the room, packing up their kits. I take his hand and lead him to the hallway, where we can have more privacy.
“Gramps?” I press. “What is it? Is everything okay? What did you and Mom talk about the other day?”
He clears his throat. “First and foremost, we discussed your safety.”
“Okay.” I draw the word out a little. “That’s a good thing, right?”
His features are more formidable as they tighten in a frown. “I’m still not convinced her head is in the right place with all this.”
I swallow hard. “You don’t?”
“Kara. I don’t doubt your mother cares for you. I just worry some pieces of this have more to do with her ego than what’s truly best for you.” He pauses. “And I decided it was time to stop hiding.”
I shake my head, unsure what he means.
He finally laughs then, but it’s underlined by sadness. “You don’t think I stay holed up in the guest house all day because she keeps me prisoner there, do you?”
“Well…” That is sort of how I’ve thought about it. It’s never seemed fair that he couldn’t join us for events. But here he is, as if he’s always been with us.
“I haven’t just been staying away from you or from my family. I’ve stayed away from everyone. Don’t let this monkey suit fool you. I’m terrified to go down there and be recognized. I’m not flattering myself that someone will—”
“Of course they will, Gramps. You’re a legend. Everyone who’s anyone in this town knows Giovani Valari. That will never change.”
His lips pull into another rueful smile. “Yes, well, that sort of attention isn’t always good. You know how that goes.”
I rest my hand on his shoulder. “People are going to be thrilled you’re here. Piper and the movie’s team, especially. They’ll be honored to have you.”
“Maybe.” He’s still terse. “If I can just get through the night without someone asking me about what happened all those years ago, it’ll be a miracle.”
Suddenly I understand what his apprehension is made of, at least in part. I tell him so with a firmer hold. “It’ll be fine,” I assert, but I don’t kid myself. It’s for my benefit as much as his. “You don’t need any miracles.”
But he has a bloody past, rife with questions that were never answered. And people in this town will make up the truth if they don’t get their greedy hands on the real deal. That’s exactly what they’ve done to him for years. Made up reasons why he was caught between one of the most notorious couples of his time and why they both ended up dead after a night of suspicious circumstances. He was the only one who pulled through that violent drama, so he’s the only one who can set the record straight. I just don’t think he wants to.
But I don’t tell him that. Now’s not the time nor the place.
The show must go on. Which means it’s time for a subject change.
“Mom was really okay with this?” I ask. “She was a bit bent a while
ago. Tonight was supposed to be Maximus’s big debut to the industry’s elite.”
“At first? No. But you know her. She soon realized having me here would be even bigger buzz for her. I haven’t walked a red carpet in…” He runs a hand through his silvery hair, which is also on-trend in its unkempt glory. “Hell, it’s been a long time.”
“Is that why you came? For her?”
He winces. “No, ladybug. I’m here because if someone has any designs about taking you from us, in any realm, you can be damn sure I won’t let that happen.”
I smile once more and fight the emotion welling up inside. This side of him, fierce and firm, is new—and I like it. Not that I haven’t felt his protectiveness over the years, but it’s always been subdued by the circumstances of our family. The required distance between us.
Now he’s here, and I don’t have to pretend that the affection between us doesn’t exist. There’s actually no one, short of Maximus, I’d rather be my date tonight. I smile wide and give him a hard hug, internally demanding that I keep my tears at bay lest I ruin the work of art my face has become after two hours in the makeup chair.
“I’m so glad you’re here. It’ll be okay, Gramps, I promise.”
When we pull away, he slips his arm through mine with a little flourish. “As long as I know you’re safe, it will be. And that’s all that matters to me.”
As the clock creeps toward midnight and my shoes are killing me, Kell sidles up to me at the after-party.
“So what did you think?” Her gaze floats across the crowd.
“I think I’m ready to be home.”
The night feels like it started three weeks ago. An hour working the step-and-repeat out front and another round of hug-and-pecks in the lobby before two hours of struggling to stay still during the film. Layers of tulle aren’t forgiving in a quiet movie theater.
“About the movie,” she clarifies with a soft laugh.
“It was decent, actually. I think it lived up to the book. Piper did really well.”
Kell grins and takes a sip of her champagne. She looks sleek as ever in a one-armed Armani gown with provocative angles of sheer fabric over parts of the bust. We’ve been schmoozing with people for hours, but she’s still flawless and radiant.
“Wow,” she says with a perky smirk. “A five-star review from one of the biggest literary snobs I know. Color me shocked.”
I wave my hand at her. “Just because I’m serious about school doesn’t make me a snob.”
“We’re all snobs, Kara. That’s the allure of the Valaris. We just have our own specialities. Jaden’s the adrenaline guy—anything that goes fast is right up his alley. And you have the market cornered when it comes to books and art.”
I slant my head. “Fine, I’ll play. What is your speciality?”
She looks away into the bustling party, her lips curved into a broader grin. “Men, I think.”
I laugh. “Can you be a snob in an area where you’re forbidden?”
She glances back to me, her dark brows drawn together. She doesn’t offer anything else, so I decide to change the subject.
“Have you talked to Gramps?”
She follows my gaze to where he’s chatting animatedly with a couple of other gentlemen in tuxedos. Maybe old friends, or perhaps he’s making new ones. But he seems happier than I’ve seen him in ages, an observation that has my heart swelling with pure joy for him.
“Hmm. Looks like Gio has plenty of people to talk to.” Kell’s voice is cold and clipped. “Plus, we all stood for the photo opp. Treasured family memories, right?”
As she punctuates it with a fake smile, my senses shiver. Despite my mental push at her rain on my parade, this is no sprinkle of snark anymore. She’s a storm front of antagonism.
“Standing next to each other for a tabloid photo isn’t a family memory.” I narrow my gaze as she wrinkles her nose. “Why are you being so cold? What did he ever do to you?”
“I’m not interested in pissing Mom off. That’s all you, Kara.”
Her steady sarcasm does nothing to quell my rising surge of righteous anger. “Gio—our grandfather—is a good man. He took care of us when we were little—”
“You mean he took care of you.”
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, Jaden and I always got fed, cleaned, and walked. But you were always his favorite. We were young, but I still remember.”
My jaw falls open. “Are you kidding me?”
She finishes off her glass of champagne and hands it to one of the servers without a word or a look. Her energy, still radiating like lightning jolts from a roiling cloud, confirms what her body language is already saying. She’s upset about something, but I can’t believe it’s because Gramps is here, especially with our mother’s blessing.
“You’ve never said anything about this before,” I press.
“It never mattered. It still doesn’t matter.”
“Still…maybe we should talk about this.”
She cuts in with a laugh. “Right.”
I hesitate, my head suddenly spinning over her mood shift. Kell can be haughty and indifferent at times, but this is more than a fleeting feeling. A black cloud she’s been toting around for years…decades? No. This seems hooked in even deeper than that, and I need to know why.
“Is this really about Gramps?”
She shakes her head, avoiding my eyes.
“Kell—” But my determination is for naught. I hesitate, afraid to say what’s in my mind and heart. But I have to, otherwise we may not get to the other side of whatever this strange new tension is.
“Is this about Arden?” My tone is softer because I don’t want it to sound like an accusation.
Her silence confirms, though, that it’s likely the truth.
“Where is he?” I ask. “I thought he might be here with you tonight.”
“No.” Her pretty red lips remain pursed and pissed. “He has other matters to attend to.”
I don’t linger long on the thought. But those two seconds lend ample opportunity to picture Arden’s “other matters” involving a certain meeting that Hades is taking right now. What will Maximus do if Arden is a leering fly on the wall during Z’s negotiations?
I can’t let it be my concern right now. I have to trust Maximus and the self-control that’s like second nature to him. I have to stay sane right now—to help my sister as much as myself.
“You should be happy you didn’t have to spend all night with him.”
She grabs a newly filled flute off a passing tray but only grimaces at the bubbles. “So I should be happy that he doesn’t want to be seen with me in public because he still thinks he has a chance with you?”
Only then does she meet my gaze. My jaw unhinges again, as I process the scalding lash of her jealousy—followed by a terrible new concern.
Arden really hasn’t given up on having me.
“He didn’t say that.” It’s a hopeful affirmation but also a desperate question. I pray she’s just jumping to conclusions. That he hasn’t actually said this…
“No.” She purses her lips again. “But you know, I could smell it. Disappointment has a very distinct odor.”
I exhale a harsh breath. “Kell. I’m so sorry. I did this to us… I did this to you, and I can’t undo any of it.”
“And even if you had another chance, you’d choose the same way.” She levels a hard stare at me because she already knows it’s the truth.
And so do I. Maybe it’s the demon in me, but I know deep in my selfish heart that I would choose Maximus again and again, even understanding that I’d be damning Kell. Maybe it’s because I know he’d choose me too. Likelier, it’s because I knew that she was as damned as me all along, no matter what. Could Arden be better than the incubus she was destined for? Could he be worse?
We’ll never know. And that’s entirely my fault. And my soul is an aching, exposed wound because of it.
“Kell, I don’t know the right words to say…” I gulp back
a sob, and it feels like a million razor blades in my throat. “I fell in love, and no one expected it less than me. But love can make people selfish, and I admit that I have been.”
She nods and pretends to be studying her nails. “Maybe one day I’ll know what that feels like.”
Her lips soften, and she lets go of a breath. Those little shifts take some sting out of her words.
“Will you ever forgive me?”
She laughs quietly. “A demon asking for forgiveness. That’s funny.”
“I don’t know about you, but I think we’re more than what’s in our blood.”
She looks up at me again. “Says the girl who’s breaking all the rules and apologizing for it later.”
I sigh. “Kell…”
She shakes her head. “It’s fine, Kara. Just… It’s fine.”
It’s not fine, but I have no way to make things right, so I let it go just like my daunting vision of Arden and Maximus.
Damn it. Every passing moment feels like a slog right now. A mire of meanings deeper than the Inferno’s nine levels, filled with just as many spirits to hurt for…and sins to atone for. But I have to just accept it as the place we’re in. For now, but hopefully not forever…
Every minute of the party seems to drag after that, and I’m relieved when Gramps is ready to go. He’s tired and a little buzzed, and his happiness manages to eat away at my own melancholy, which I try hard to hide during the drive home.
When the limo driver drops him off at the Valari estate, we part ways with a hug and a promise to visit soon. I laugh when he slaps Dalton on the arm, coaxing a curious smile out of the butler as he saunters into the house.
The drive home is too long. I’m a tangle of emotions. Nervous and hopeful and then terrified all over again that there may be no good way out of this mess we’ve made. My only comfort will be the shelter of Maximus’s arms again. I grow needier for him with every mile we cover and stoplight we clear. Soon…soon…
But when I return, the house is eerily quiet and entirely too dark.
Heart of Fire: (Blood of Zeus: Book Two) Page 13