by Love Belvin
Catena told my mother Lia was upset the entire day about her lack of support from the Ellis family, despite the packages my mother had delivered to her months ago. That part fired me up because fucking Lia understood exactly why she didn’t have the support of my family: she was the other woman. A part of me wondered if she believed the lie of which brother’s baby she’d been carrying. Had it been mine, there would have been more involvement from my family. But it’s rather complicated to share in the joy of a new baby when his father’s identity has yet to be revealed.
Needless to say, my father called me, bitching in my ear about how thick the tension had been at the last commission meeting, where he sat across from a seething Rizzo. Double E Bags wanted to come out of his suit and reach across the table for Rizzo’s neck. But that would have been unacceptable in the setting, and prohibited, even, outside of their meetings, according to their rules. Shit turned personal as soon as Lia got pregnant by an Ellis.
And of course, Iban stirred the pot at the end of the meeting, in the parking lot, by asking Rizzo if his capo was paid enough to approach an Ellis. He was referring to the capo he pulled out on in Scotch Plains when he was creeping off to see Lia. And of course, that set off a scene of threatening posturing and warning gapes between my father’s crew and Rizzo’s.
It vexed my father, which meant he leaned on me. As a result, I began planning a small baby shower between the two families next week. Lia was due in July, and I still had no idea when Iban was going to clear the air.
If that wasn’t enough, that particular meeting was about the Rizzo and Damien beef, where the men were able to establish Rizzo had nothing to do with Tank’s death. Damien apologized for the blood and, as a means of amends, pledged to have a luxury car delivered to each man in Rizzo’s crew who was hit in the shootout in Elizabeth. And for Luigi’s death, Damien would pay a premium in cash to Rizzo and Luigi’s family. That may have been an ego-stroke to Rizzo, but a ticking time bomb for me. Damien would learn it was my father and brother who killed his lover soon enough. There were few in the state with the balls to do so. And before that happened, I needed to be prepared.
Or else more will die…
“Mr. Ellis,” the flight attendant’s soft voice interrupted my thoughts. Lynn, a thin woman of Asian descent, leaned over with a professional smile. She’d worked my flights before. “We’ve cleared ten-thousand feet. Can I get dinner started for you and Ms. Asad-Yasin?”
My eyes rolled across from me as Bilan’s regard left the dark window and peered over to the two of us. She was so goddamn gorgeous, even when foolishly stubborn. The position she sat in accentuated her narrow waist. Her legs were crossed, exposing the plumpness in her left thigh as she leaned toward the window, cupping her hands. Her fingernails were a hot pink, and I bet her toes matched. I couldn’t be so sure because they were concealed in her pointy-heeled pumps. But those full lips were a brownish maroon, highlighted by matching speckles across her face.
Damn…
Bilan’s regard hit me before shifting over to Lynn.
“You can call me Bilan,” she softly corrected.
“Okay.” Lynn straightened, broadening her smile. “Can I get you dinner, Ms. Bilan? Or should I start you off with a drink?”
She hesitated. “A drink would be fine. Thanks.”
“A cocktail?” Lynn clarified.
Bilan glanced over to me again. “Mauve is fine.”
“Okay!”
“We’ll be ready for dinner in about thirty minutes, Lynn,” I asserted, eyes locked onto the stubborn woman just a few feet away, springing her ankle in the air and causing her foot to bounce and body to vibrate.
It was close to eight o’clock at night, and I was sure she hadn’t had a decent meal recently, if at all today.
“Okay. I’ll get those drinks started now.” Lynn turned toward the front of the jet.
I located a napkin on the table across the aisle and spit my gum into it.
As I balled the napkin, my gaze shifted over to Bilan. “We have five hours on this flight. The time is now to jump on it to make it pleasant.”
She turned from the window, brows perfectly arched over her eyes. “Is that your way of initiating it?”
“I did when I picked you up.”
“‘Hi, Bilan’ is a pleasantry?”
My forehead wrinkled and lips pushed out. “Is it a diss?”
“No.” She shook her head. “But judging me for having a drink is, Sadik.”
Oh…
My head swung back. That’s what had her so distant all week. This was the first one Bilan didn’t call or text. Typically, we’d both reach out to each other daily, whether to say hello or have a full blown conversation. I realized in the bustle of my week, how she hadn’t initiated communication. I’d been too busy to fully examine it, but her actions tonight on our flight confirmed it.
“You had more than one drink. When I walked up on you and your one of three, you were working on one.”
Her face folded. “One of three what?”
“The guys you’re seeing.”
Bilan snorted, eyes rolling. “We are not going there,” she mumbled. “Unless you’re ready to talk about your baby. By the way, when is he or she due?”
Anger shot up my belly. I unbuckled my seatbelt and sat up in my chair. “Sweetheart, I’m a man of little leisure, but lots of labor. At some point, the strongest of my kind needs a break, and as impossible as it is, it’s a matter of health for us to find time to retreat for a reprieve, even if it means creating it. This weekend, I cleared at least nine engagements to take some time for me.” Bilan’s head dipped, eyeing me keenly. “I’m in need of a major escape: mentally and physically. A selfish one where it’s more about me than it is you. Not of a sparring partner on my dime. I’m not short of women who could fill the role of companion for a getaway.”
She leaned over her crossed knees. “Yet, for some random reason, I’m the chosen woman for your retreat. I’ve even passed the tests by way of your proficient doctor.” She scoffed. “I mean… You stalk me at my job, trying to get my attention using a Christina C. Jones book. Then you so happen to be at a concert my friends and I were at.” She began counting off on her fingers. “You wined and chatted me at a romantic jazz concert in the park. Then you treat me to a shopping spree when you send me to pick up a two-thousand-dollar MEEHAR gown. And, to be honest, I don’t want to revisit that night of the Ameerah concert, but let’s move on to how you show up to my graduation unexpectedly. Then finally, you pop up at a graduation party my friends are giving me, where I accidentally get drunk to vomiting proportions and try to fuck you, then fall into a crying fit about missing my parents and knowing I’m about to lose their house in foreclosure. Did I mention the crying fit lasted for two hours and I was topless and clawing at your neck, begging you to not leave me or let me go?”
My eyes rolled away as I took a deep breath.
They told her…
“Yes. Tasche told me about what happened. She mentioned the bath I would only allow you to give me after throwing up on the way to the bathroom, and how I tried to fight you for using my dead mother’s washcloth instead of my own. Yes!” Tears welled in her eyes. “She told me every embarrassing detail. And, for some insane reason, you still want me with you on this—” She used air quotations. “—selfish vacation that is about you rather than the initially labeled graduation gift you posed last week.”
Bilan did all of that, and more than she mentioned. Possibly, it was because it sounded less tragic than it played out. As I washed her face, she pointed out several towels and washcloths on racks in the shower and over the toilet, and explained who they belonged to. Toothbrushes were another object still in place. By my estimation, they hadn’t been used or cleaned in years. I offered to buy the house for her, feeling physically struck by her outpour of emotion. Oddly, while blubbering the pain she’d been carrying from feeling alone in the house, Bilan shared she didn’t want to save the house. Acc
ording to her, her mother told her not to spend her money saving the house because it was cursed and filled with so many bad memories.
There were so many questions I had. Quite a few things her girl, Tasche, didn’t address when I questioned her after finally getting Bilan to sleep. That Tasche understood the art of protective silence. She seemed to be loyal to Bilan, and that strangely comforted me. But whatever she told her friend had this woman in a panic, and so unnecessarily.
“Yes. I did choose you to take this trip. And I did say it was your graduation gift, because it is. But there was nothing insane about my selection of you or this trip. There’s a bigger picture. Doing this as a way to celebrate your accomplishment satisfies me—”
“Why?” she demanded, chords flaring in her neck.
“Because I can afford it. That’s why. Making a woman I find incredibly appealing is fuckin’ stimulating for me—”
“Well, I’m not just any—”
“AND DON’T YOU EVER FUCKIN’ CUT ME OFF WHEN I’M SPEAKING!” I barked.
Bilan’s scowl deepened, and Rory was at the door of our area of the cabin.
“Did I fuckin’ call you?” I asked, not needing her shit when I already had enough on my hands with Bilan’s.
Rory backed away, mumbling something she knew damn well to keep to herself.
I turned back to this frustrating woman I still couldn’t understand my draw to, past her fat ass and fascinating freckles. She shot me a glower, chest heaving and breathing almost audible.
“Now, I’m not the type to dance around shit,” I explained to Bilan, deliberately lowering my tone. “Yes, I saw some concerning shit that night, and maybe it is embarrassing to your sober mind right now. But clearly, it couldn’t have been that bad to me if I’m still wanting to spend my fuckin’ personal time with you. I told you, I don’t do relationships. Compromising with someone other than my damn parents isn’t a luxury I bestow generously, but I’m trying here, damn it!”
A single tear fell from her eye, and Bilan quickly swiped it away.
Shit…
I didn’t mean to make her cry or upset her. I was just wound tight from all the shit I’d been juggling. There was no room for this back and forth shit. Frustrated, I decided to let it breathe. And maybe that was why Lynn decided to finally come with those drinks. I took a huge gulp, taking back almost half the glass right away. Bilan didn’t touch hers. She leaned toward the window again, sulking. After a few minutes, I powered up my laptop and began drafting a letter to my staff about our current legal posturing. It was something my attorney advised I do right away, and of course, that didn’t mean when I returned from my miniature vacation.
“I want to escape this weekend, too,” she murmured.
I glanced up from my screen where I was prepared to click Send on the email for the draft to my attorney. Bilan’s lips were twisted, her sad eyes faltering when trying to focus on me. It dawned on me the time lapse I’d just experienced while working. Maybe she’d had enough time to think about what I’d said while I worked. Either way, seeing her dejected pulled at me. I clicked the tab and closed the laptop, placing it into the pocket on the side of my chair.
“Come here, Bilan.” I flapped my fingers, motioning her.
My dick jolted when she jumped into action right away. I received her in my arms and allowed her to bury her face into my neck. As I rubbed her back, her soft hand pushed up to my face and grazed my jaw. I felt her breathing against my skin and her heartbeat against my arm. We stayed that way for a while, and I experienced an odd peace in holding her. When I realized her strokes became soft scrapes against the stubble on my face, I peered down at her. Immediately, the muscles around Bilan’s eyes relaxed to a close and her lips parted. Then on instinct, I kissed her.
Right away, she clawed at my jaw and her body went rigid in my hold. But her tongue fluttered, swiping my lips. My hand pushed to the back of her head, fingering through her short hair. I got lost in the sorrow of her kiss, the temptation to consume her. Bilan was fragile in a way she didn’t know. This thing between us was more dangerous than ever.
She pulled away first, her soft eyes beseeching. “I’m not seeing three guys—” Her eyes flashed wide. “Is that why Jason left early? I told him when he called me the other day I don’t remember seeing him since I left you two on my back steps!”
I dipped my chin and stared at her for that stupid ass question. It was a fact.
“You told me in the park you were dating two guys.”
“What did you say to him?”
Fuck him…
Bilan completely ignored my inconvenient recollection.
“What did he say to you?”
Her eyes bounced around. “He asked if you were my boyfriend.”
“And what did you say?”
She shrugged. “I told him we’d been getting to know each other.”
That thwarted my ego. “Not that we’re friends—I am your friend. Right?”
“Why is it so important for you to be my friend, Sadik?”
“Because friendships between a man and woman are underrated and underutilized nowadays. Friendships can be beautiful, uncomplicated...meaningful.”
“As opposed to what?”
“Meaningless fuckin’.”
Her face fell, not expecting that. Her reaction reminded me of how little I knew Bilan. She was a walking conundrum. One I wanted inside of so damn bad: literally and figuratively.
“Here you are, Mr. Ellis and Ms. Bilan.” Lynn returned with a rolling tray of food.
“Mexican!” I announced as though surprised.
I could hear Bilan groan as she tried leaving my lap.
“No.” I tightened my arm around her waist and pulled her back into me. “We’ll eat.”
Bilan’s timid regard shot to Lynn first before she murmured. “But I’m not hungry. You eat while I do something else.”
“Something else like what?”
She shrugged. “Maybe explore your ‘jet’ now that I see you have one of your own.” I guessed she was able to figure that out when we were boarding.
I shook my head. “Enough of that shit, Bilan. While you’re with me, you’ll eat.”
Her mouth dropped. “How much?”
“That’s up to you, but even if I have to feed it to you, it’s going down.” She needed to understand this.
“Fine, Sadik,” she acquiesced.
“Good.” I rearranged her on my lap to free my arms for the task. “Now, tell me about your issue with your aunt canceling the beach gathering.”
I didn’t look at her for a reaction as I began to squirt hand sanitizer in my hand before preparing tacos I hoped she’d finish.
Costa Rica…
I couldn’t get over being in Central America. The flight hadn’t been long enough for me to feel I’d left the country. That could be because it was spent in Sadik’s mouth, whether we kissed or he spoke while I curled in his lap. It was a patterned dance we did, Sadik and I. We fought for short stints before he found a way to navigate us to safe waters.
As I followed behind him while we were being led to our bungalow, it felt beyond midnight, but wasn’t quite that considering the time zone change. I was restless, excited beyond measure about it all. Sadik, and alone, on a Central American coast for four days? What would we do?
And the property was gorgeous. The glow of bright lights over winding hunter green palm trees complimented by red foliage. A marriage of cherry wood planks and stones was the thematic presentation of the property. To top it off were the sounds of the ocean, exciting my senses. I was overdressed, clacking in four-inch Valentino Rockstud Noir slingbacks I’d gotten from JAGMisha Boutique. Lucky for me, I decided on a simple Ase Garb t-shirt and cropped jeans. Sadik was no more prepared in a track suit, minus the jacket he’d left on the jet, though he knew the destination. His bald head shun against the outdoor lamps leading to the back of the place.
A pamphlet-worthy image of a lit pool came into view. It
was lined by tall plants and concrete structures, giving a grandiose ambiance. We stepped onto the first of a three-level deck. The staff of the property led us into sliding doors, where we landed in a lounge area. Contemporary furniture sat along the walls, and candles burned in every corner. Immediately to the left was a small bar stocked with glasses of colorful liquids. Straight ahead was a wide staircase, leading to the second level.
“Mr. and Mrs. Ellis, this is your lounge area,” one of the men informed. “We’ll take you upstairs to the living room and kitchen.”
“Mr. Ellis and Ms. Bilan,” I corrected.
Sadik’s eyes slowly glided over to me as his body turned to face me.
Sheepishly, I added, “Asad-Yasin is harder to remember for most.”
His expression remained placid.
“Very well,” the nice man agreed and turned for the stairs. “This two-thousand square foot unit built with intimacy with nature in mind should be most pleasing to you…”
As he went on, Sadik reached for my hand before taking the stairs, too. We were shown a cozy, yet lavish living room with plush furniture and floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the pool. Down the hall was a full kitchen, though the man ensured all of our meals would be prepared for us, occasionally made in the unit. There was a short set of steps for the final level that opened to a humongous, four-poster wooden bed with thick, twisted manila ropes stretching across the canopy. A long sofa sat against the wall adjacent to an open bathroom.
Sadik led me, hand-in-hand, to an open, double-sliding door with a majestic view of a mountain. On the deck, you could see the pool beneath. Sadik didn’t speak as my eyes ate up the surreal vista of paradise where a group of birds could be seen flying against the moonlight. He walked back into the bedroom to the opposing deck. It was out here where the moving ocean could be seen directly ahead. A large, netted catamaran bed stretched out over the shallow ocean. Shapeless clouds glided over the mirrored water. Patterns of small ripples moved peacefully underneath me. The experience of it all seized my lungs. The view was surreal.