Kat frowned. For the life of her, she couldn’t imagine who the Commissioner could be. To be the Commissioner in Hell, he’d need to have been here for many years, but all the people she’d known who might have been sent to Hell had died quite recently.
Taking a deep breath, Kat headed for the pair of ornately carved doors. She felt nervous, which was strange. What could be more unnerving than meeting Satan? But there had to be a reason why Hades hadn’t wanted to tell her who her boss was. Pausing to steel herself, she opened the door and stepped inside.
The office was more or less what she’d expected. It was a well-furnished executive suite, complete with bookshelves, upholstered chairs, discreet filing cabinets, and a framed painting of Hades. But what really took her breath away was the man sitting behind a glass desk. Leaning back in his leather chair, a broad smile lining his fifty-something face, Oberführer Rudolph Pernass gazed back at her. She had last seen her stepfather aboard a sixty-foot yacht in Cologne while bombs rained down all around them.
“Good God!” she gasped. “What in Heaven's name are you doing here?”
Pernass let out a wicked laugh. “I’m not sure if God comes into it, and I seem to have gone in the other direction.”
“You’re running The Elites?” she exclaimed, mesmerized by his old NAZI Oberführer uniform he was wearing, complete with the Knight's Cross, Iron Cross, German Cross, and Gold Nahkampfspange badge.
He shrugged. “Hades likes my ruthless organizational skills and my ability to instill fear and to intimidate those I encounter. He also thinks you and I would work well together. I’m on trial. Hades dispatched the last guy for corruption.”
She stared at him in astonishment. “Yeah, you’re a spooky dude. But you planned Hitler’s murder. Wasn’t that corruption?”
“Not in the larger scheme of things.”
It suddenly occurred to her that Hitler must be in Hell somewhere. Did Pernass know where he was? “So… have you seen the beloved Führer since you got here?”
“As a matter of fact, I have. He’s working as a plumber in Berlin. It’s quite amusing watching him walk around with a plumber’s helper.”
“He’s working as a plumber? After all that power?”
“Oh, that’s not the best bit. He’s working in the Jewish quarter.”
Stifling a laugh, she slumped into an upholstered chair and continued to stare at him. “I can’t believe you’re here. The last I heard of you, you were heading for South America in a U-boat full of gold and valuable art. How were you killed?”
Pernass shook his head. “It was horrible luck. We were heading for Cuba when the U-boat needed to surface because there was a problem with one of the ballast tanks. An American destroyer attacked us. I think it was the only U-boat ever to be sunk in the Caribbean. All that gold and artwork lying on the seabed now… If I ever get reincarnated, I think I’ll open a salvage company.”
She rubbed at her eyes to gather her thoughts. She’d spent six years sabotaging everything Pernass did, and she’d usually succeeded. She would never forget stealing the Desert Eagle from the secret airbase in Libya, and from right under his nose. It had been the most advanced jet bomber ever built. Now he was going to be her boss. It was outrageous. No wonder Hades wanted this to be a surprise. Staring at the man behind the desk, Kat thought, Hades certainly had a wicked sense of humor.
“This is wonderful, Kat. I’ve always wanted to work with you, and now we are… Forever! We’ll make a fantastic team.”
“Oh, crap! Working with you forever? Now I know I’m in Hell… Do you know what Hades wants me to do?”
“Yes, of course, I do. Hades wants you to find out who’s selling artifacts to the natives, and that won’t be easy. Then again, you’ll have a snazzy uniform, although, if you’re undercover, you might not be able to wear it very often. We’ll also give you weapons, and a nice little car.”
“I’ll have weapons? What kind of weapons?”
“You’ll have two weapons. A regular handgun that shoots people, just like back on Earth, and you’ll also have a gun that’s much more serious. It actually kills people. You must have an excellent reason for killing someone in Hell, so you may never use it. Normally, only Hades or Persephone are allowed to kill. The Elites are only allowed to under the direst circumstances.”
“What sort of dire circumstances?”
“Well, I guess you’ll know that when it happens.” Pernass lit a cigar, and after a moment, he said, “Now, let’s get down to business… Demons are used for all sorts of things, and most of them are harmless, but the demon police are something else. They can be very unpleasant. They’re considered the NAZIs of Hell. It’s likely a demon who’s selling artifacts. Some higher-ranking police have access to artifacts, and they’re very good at covering their tracks.”
“So why aren’t they being investigated?”
“They are, but there’s a lot of corruption in the Elites. That’s why Hades sent you here.”
“But I can’t do this on my own,” she protested. “I’m new here. I wouldn’t know where to start.”
“You’ll have Giselle,” he reassured her. “I’ll assign her to you permanently.” He gave her a crafty smile. “But there’s also Sergeant Major Dore.”
She felt a thrill of excitement. “Jock’s here?” she shrieked. “Jock’s in New York City?”
“Actually, he was sent to Glasgow when he arrived. Persephone found him and put him on a flight to New York City this afternoon. He should be here in a few hours.”
“Persephone did? That’s very sweet of her.”
“I’m not sure about that. I don’t really want you, and Dore working together, but it’s hard, or should I say, impossible, to buck Persephone.”
“I’m sure it is, but you’ll also have to buck me. Jock’s always had my back. I need him.”
“It’s not as simple as that, Kat. My concern is that Dore loves you, which will make him very unpredictable, even dangerous. Your feelings for him are quite different. He’s Yin to your Yang.”
“But isn’t that perfect?”
“We’ll see. We’re in Hell, Kat. It’s not the same as back on Earth.” Pulling a bundle of documents from a desk drawer, he signed the top copy and handed them to her. “That’s an authority to obtain your uniform and weapons. There’s a credit card, and there’s a list of useful contacts. By the way, you can tell Giselle she can stop using that fake badge. As of today, she’s a member of The Elites again.”
“That’s it? Our meeting’s over. I have no idea what to do.”
“You find a way of getting into the mines. Twenty people have disappeared in the last week, and they were all either visiting or working in the mines. I could easily send you there, but walls have ears. It’s better that you just turn up. Take them by surprise.”
“What, I just drive there?”
“It’s a bit too far to drive. Find a man called Jonathan Steel. He’s a fixer, and everybody trusts him. Giselle will help you find him. As for getting there, you can fly. You’ve got a credit card.”
“And that’s it? That’s my training?”
“Kat, I can’t train you for a thing like this. Use your instincts. Anyway, Giselle knows how everything works.” Pernass smiled at Kat, “God, it’s great working with you and not against you…”
“Pernass wants us to go to the mines?” Giselle exclaimed as she watched Kat try on her uniform. “But they’re in Utah. Does Pernass realize there’s a turf war going on out there? It’s not exactly Palm Springs. On top of that, you’ve only just arrived in Hell.”
Kat eyed herself in the mirror. She had to admit; the new uniform was impressive. It was a decorative, and surprisingly futuristic, dark gray tunic with close-fitting pants, and black boots that went all the way up to her knees. The pistol holsters even had thigh straps, like a space-age gunslinger, and the small, glass-barreled gun that was capable of erasing people, fitted in the small of her back. She was certainly well equipped.
&nb
sp; “I’ll be fine.” She gave Giselle a reassuring smile. “We’ll be fine. We’ll have Dore with us… if I can find him. Do you know anything about Jonathan Steel?”
Giselle looked suddenly nervous. “Jonathan Steel? Yes, I do. He’s a well-known fixer, and he’s involved with some very dangerous people. Even the gangs ask for his advice.”
“Sounds perfect. How do I find him?”
“He frequents the bars in the Lower East Side. It’s just a matter of looking.”
Kat examined the large .44 caliber, Smith & Wesson; she’d been issued, slipping it into its holster, and then yanking it out again. It was a hell of a gun to draw quickly. Maybe it wouldn’t come to that. “Perhaps we can look for him tomorrow night. First, I’d like to meet up with Jock. Would you know where I’m likely to find him?”
“Persephone organized it. He’s being flown to Idlewild Airport, then taken to Ellis Island by helicopter. Dore then will be driven to a bar near Battery Park.”
Kat asked Giselle, “did Persephone happen to mention which bar?”
“No. She thought it would be more fun for you to search for him. Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, it’s okay, you deserve a break. I know where Battery Park is. I’ll find him. If you help me pick up my car, I can drive there.”
Kat felt a strange sense of pride when they finally exited the Chrysler Building. The rain had eased, but it wouldn’t have mattered. She was wearing her new uniform, and it seemed to be waterproof. People stared at her as they made their way up Lexington Street. Even a demon directing traffic glanced nervously at her, and for the first time since waking up in Hell, she felt her confidence return. She wondered how Dore would react. He’d been relatively blasé when they made her a major at the end of the North Africa mission, but this was different. Maybe she’d have to twist Pernass’s arm and enroll him in Elites.
The Elite’s parking lot was on the corner of 43rd Street. A building had been knocked down, and you could still see the old tiles on the parking lot’s surface. Unlike Giselle’s neat little Mini, her car was a huge, Oldsmobile convertible. It had twin headlamps and leather seats. She loved it immediately.
“Will Dore be sleeping at your place?” Giselle asked when she’d turned the car around.
“Yeah. We’re used to sharing a tent… Getting to sleep at night must feel very weird in Hell.”
“It takes some getting used to. For the first few nights, you’ll dream about being back on Earth. It can be very disorienting. Which reminds me, I’ll probably sleep late tomorrow, and we must go shopping for clothes. You can’t go looking for Jonathan Steel dressed like that. I’ll call you when I wake-up.”
“I have a phone in the apartment?”
“Yes, you do,” she said, scribbling a number on the back of Kat’s hand. “That’s my number if you ever need to call me.”
Kat watched her as she walked away and turned the corner into Lexington Street, her small shoulders hunched against the wind. She liked Giselle, not just because she had been kind and generous towards her, but because there was something defiant about her. She may have been a dancer in her last life, but she’d taken to Hell like a duck to water. Even Hades didn’t faze her.
Turning right onto 43rd Street, she worked her way over to the East River and headed for the East Village. If she stayed on the river road, when it passed under Brooklyn Bridge, the road would become Battery Park. Easy peasy. If Jock really did head for a bar, it shouldn’t be hard to find him. She was also wearing her Elite uniform. No one would dare bother her. Keeping the car at an easy forty miles per hour, she watched the city change as she approached the Williamsburg Bridge. There were fewer glass skyscrapers here. New York City looked the same as she remembered it. She wondered if Jock would be wearing white, as she had when she woke up to find Giselle looking down at her.
Turning right onto Old Slip Street, and then left onto Waters Street, she slowed to a crawl. There were lots of bars here, but there were also lots of narrow streets. Jock wouldn’t go to a bar; he’d look for a pub. She turned right onto Broad Street and then left onto Pearl… and there it was, an Irish pub, called The Anchor, and Shillelagh.
Pulling into the curb, she climbed out and went inside. The pub was heaving with people, and yelling voices, the smell of beer stinging her delicate new nostrils. People were crowding the bar as if it was New Year’s Eve. Someone bumped into her, but immediately apologized when they saw her uniform, and then she saw him. He was playing darts with a group of men and was swigging a glass of Guinness, foam clinging to his upper lip. She smiled. It was typical of Jock to make himself at home.
Creeping up behind him, she whispered in his ear. “Atten… shun!”
It wasn’t easy to startle Jock, but his head spun around as if he’d been shot. For a moment, he stared at her as if he’d seen a ghost, which of course, he had. Dore’s eyes ran over her uniform and then back to her face.
“Good God!” he spluttered, slamming his beer on a table and grabbing Kat in a meaty bear hug. “What the hell are you doing here, Lassie? I thought you were unkillable.”
“Without you watching my 6, what chance did I have? Are you sober?”
“Of course, I’m sober!” he roared. “Although I wish I wasn’t. What the fuck are you wearing? You look like a space-age NAZI.”
“Thanks, Jock. You always say the nicest things to me... I’ve joined The Elites.”
“And who are they when they’re at home?”
Explaining to Dore who the Elites were, she clapped him on the shoulder. “God, it’s good to see you. I must say, I’m happy you’re dead. If you know what I mean.”
“Aye Lass, that I do.”
“Do you know why they brought you here?”
“Not a clue. I was having a wee dram in my local pub, when three of the ugliest brutes you’ve ever seen came in, bundled me into a limousine, and drove me to an airport. Have you ever been in a Comet?”
“I have, as it happens. Shall we get out of here? I’ve got a car outside, and I’d hate some arsehole to steal it.”
Once they were in the car, and heading north on Broadway, she told Dore what had happened since she arrived in Hell, how Giselle had taken her to Hades’ Palace, and how she’d even met Persephone, ridden a flying horse, and finally met Pernass.
“And Satan’s just a regular guy?”
“Well, I should qualify that. He looks like a regular guy… if you consider looking like Paul Newman, regular… but he obviously isn’t. Then again, he isn’t the Devil incarnate either. He talks to God, for Christ’s sake, and he paints and rides horses. You should see the stuff he collects.”
“And you actually talked to him?”
“Yes, I did.” Kat explained to Dore what Hades and Pernass had discussed with her, ending with, “and Hades wants me to find the people stealing artifacts. Now that you’re here, that means us.”
For a while, Dore didn’t speak, which was comfortingly normal for him. Dore was a doer, not a talker. As he’d often said, action speaks louder than words, a characteristic that she’d much valued when they were on missions together. They were passing a Wells Fargo bank when he turned to her.
“So. What’s next?”
“We’ll be going to the mines in the next couple of days, and even Hades thinks it could be dangerous.”
“But we’re already dead. What the hell does dangerous mean?”
“If these guys can steal artifacts, they probably have the kind of gun that kills dead people. Being killed in Hell really is the end. It’s the end of the line. Don’t get killed, Jock.”
CHAPTER TEN
T he following day, after Dore had waded through an enormous American breakfast at Harry’s Diner, they met up with Giselle. Together, they jumped into Kat’s fancy new car, and with the top down, they soaked in the sunshine and scenery on their way to Bloomingdale’s. At first, they tried to buy clothes for Dore, but he was hard work, forever gawking at Giselle, and saying he was happy with the
clothes he was wearing… a corduroy jacket, jeans, and work boots that he’d somehow managed to buy in Glasgow. After taking care of Dore, they went to the women’s department, where Kat tried on a whole range of casual clothes before finally deciding on tight pants, a couple of shirts, and a check jacket. She wasn’t trying to impress anyone. She just wanted to blend in with the locals.
There seemed no point in waiting until it was dark to go looking for Jonathan Steel. It was already four in the afternoon, and as far as Kat could gather, Steel did most of his business in bars, most of which were dark and gloomy. So they drove down to Lower Manhattan and cruised the bars and clubs that Pernass had recommended. Two hours later, they found Steel in a club called Bill’s Joint, on Franklin Street, and it certainly was a joint… A strip joint… A naked woman was dancing on a small stage, and men were drooling over her, which Kat thought was weird since she looked more like a doll with all her interesting parts missing. People were also drinking spirits, which wasn’t advised in Hell, as it tended to cause terrifying nightmares. Yet the shelves behind the bar were full of colorful bottles, and almost everyone she could see was chatting away with a glass in their hand. She had to admit, few people were noticeably drunk, but it seemed to Kat to be a cruel temptation.
Giselle spotted Steel in the far corner of the room. He was talking conspiratorially to a tall and unpleasant looking demon. It would be a risk to approach Steel if the demon was a cop, so they sat down at one of the tables and waited.
“Unbelievable,” Dore grumbled. “How can it call itself a proper club if it doesn’t sell Guinness?”
Kat glared at him. “We’re not here to drink, Jock.”
“Why not? We’re in a club, and we’re just hanging around.”
“We’re not just hanging around. I work for the Elites, and unless you got something you’d prefer to do, so do you. You might want to prepare yourself to meet Steel. I have no idea how dangerous he is.”
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