by Gina Azzi
Torsten snorts. “Yeah, man.”
I smack the back of my hand against his shoulder as I stride toward the bathrooms. Posting up outside the women’s room, I’m relieved that the bathrooms are part of the private room and not for general use. It means no one bothers me and the wait is relatively short.
Three minutes barely pass before Indy waltzes out the door, giggling with her cousins like schoolgirls. All their laughter dies as they spot me, their eyes simultaneously widening.
I chuckle. “You look like a bunch of schoolgirls.”
Vanny grins. “I’m taking that as a compliment, Scotch. I’m almost thirty-four.” She grabs Claire’s arm and begins to steer her away.
“Can we talk?” I ask Indy.
She shoots her cousins a desperate look but they glance between us and scurry away, their laughter ringing out before they clear the hallway.
Indy shuffles from one foot to the other, looking at me for clues.
I hold out a hand and she tentatively takes it. I pull her around the corner of the hallway where there’s a small alcove. Her eyes dart around the mostly private space before finding mine.
“Is everything okay?” she asks.
The corners of my mouth tug up. God, she’s so endearing. So innocent and cute and too damn good for a guy like me. “Indy, I didn’t mean to put you on blast by being handsy at the bar.”
She frowns. “Handsy?”
I nod. “Can’t keep my hands off you. But with so many people around and your family”—I shrug, stuffing my hands into my pockets to keep them from reaching for her—“I shouldn’t have put you in that position. Especially without talking to you first.”
She looks wary, her lips pressing into a thin line. “And this is you talking to me about it?”
I bite the corner of my mouth, unable to reach her thoughts, or get a feel for this situation at all. Twenty minutes ago, this girl’s ass was pressed against my dick and now, she’s looking at me like she wants to slap me. “This is me making sure I didn’t blow up your spot when you don’t want everyone to know we’re hooking up. I don’t give a fuck what anyone out there thinks. To be honest, I don’t even give a shit if I’m pissing Austin off. But it’s not fair to have all this attention thrown on you without knowing if you want it or not.”
Her frown deepens and confusion ripples over her expression. “I don’t understand what you’re saying. Are you into me or not?” she asks point-blank.
My mouth drops open. She can’t tell if I’m into her? Jesus Christ, I am fucking this up. Maybe this is why Courtney and I didn’t work out, maybe I really am an idiot when it comes to emotional intelligence.
Indy shifts her weight, her cheeks turning pink as she averts her gaze.
Not overthinking it, I pull my hands from my pockets. We’re in a private space with no peeking eyes to worry about. I stride toward her and she looks up, surprised. She backs up until her back presses into the wall and I’m in front of her, my hands wrapping around her waist. I look down into her bright green eyes, wondering how I ever thought I could not act on my feelings for her. They’re more than just lust, than just this moment. The realization should scare me after the shit Courtney put me through this year. But I don’t feel frightened. Instead, I feel excited. Invigorated and validated and fucking happy.
“Little Indy, I can’t keep my hands off you. I’m so into you that I want to kiss you senseless and take you home with me and keep you in my bed. I want to take you out for dinner this Saturday and spend all day Sunday doing touristy shit with you again in Boston.”
Her eyes widen and her mouth falls open, a startled breath dropping from her lips.
I smile. “But you have a full day of classes and a trip that you’re planning. We’re friends and I just started the season and you don’t date hockey players. My life is messy and most of it is in the public eye. I want whatever you’re willing to give me and more but not at the expense of your commitments to yourself.”
Her eyes scan my face, dropping to my lips, coming back to my eyes, and falling to my mouth again.
Before I can ask her what she wants, she pushes up on her tippy toes and kisses me. Her mouth is sweet and spicy, raspberries and tequila. Hot and cold, sunshine and snowflakes. Her hands grip the tops of my shoulders as she falls into me, her mouth gentle for one single kiss before her tongue dips into my mouth and my entire body comes to life.
I growl, pressing her back against the wall as I slant my mouth over hers and meet her kiss for kiss. In seconds, our kiss turns hungry, needy, borderline desperate. My hand cups her cheeks to hold her head steady as I deepen our connection. She whimpers, our panting filling the silence of the small space.
I pull back, gazing down at her.
Her eyes are glowing, her cheeks flushed. She’s so fucking gorgeous. A swell of protectiveness surges through my body, making me swear. I’d want to knock out anyone, any guy on my team, who ever saw her looking the way she is right now. Her eyes are wide, her hair wild from where my fingers ran through it. She’s rocking the sexiest bedroom eyes I’ve ever seen and the only thing I can think about is getting us out of here and somewhere more private. Like my bedroom. Or her apartment.
“Tell me what you want, Indiana?” My voice is husky. Ragged.
She smirks, still clinging to that edge of sass. “Take me home, Noah. Quick, before anyone realizes we’re missing.”
I grin, licking my bottom lip. Lacing our fingers together, I drop my forehead to hers. “Indy, if we bolt, we’re outing ourselves to the team. To your cousins. Are you sure about this?”
She shakes her head. “I haven’t been sure about anything since you came back into my life, Noah.”
That causes a flare of uncertainty to spark in my chest.
Indy smiles. “But I like it. This. Feeling instead of thinking all the damn time.”
I kiss the corner of her mouth and pull back. Grabbing my phone from my back pocket, I shoot off a message to my driver and one to Torsten. Jesse replies that he’s waiting out back for us. Torsten sends me a string of emojis I can’t fucking decipher.
“Come on.” I pull her toward the back exit. “Jesse, my driver, is waiting for us here. Message Claire and Savannah so they know where you are.”
“And Austin?” she asks, her expression playful.
“Not going there tonight, babe. Not when I can enjoy my time with you.”
She laughs and follows me out into the blustering cold. “I’ll make sure my cousins grab our coats.”
I bundle her under my arm as we race to the car. Pulling open the backdoor, we both slide inside. I grin, feeling like we’re pulling off some kind of a secret mission instead of being two adults heading home together.
That’s the thing with Indy, she injects light into everything. With her, even the mundane is thrilling. “That would be good,” I agree, turning toward Jesse. “Hey Jes.”
“Hey man. Good game tonight.”
“Thanks. My house, please.”
“You got it.” He eases the car toward the street and turns up the volume on the Hamilton soundtrack he’s listening to.
I glance over at Indy who’s smiling at me. I grin back, knowing we’re both being goofy and silly.
But it feels right. Being with her feels good.
And there’s no way in hell I’m questioning that. Not when I’ve got Indy beside me, her hand in mine.
17
Indy
As soon as the door to Noah’s brownstone clicks closed, the reality of the situation descends over me. I’m in Noah’s home again. But this time, it’s different.
I know it. He knows it. And the realization makes the moment seem significant. If I take this step with Noah, it’s going to be more than just casual. More than just a fling. I don’t know how to do casual well to begin with but clearly, I really don’t know how to do casual with a man like Noah. A hockey player. A sweet talker. A heartthrob who makes my body burn with one smoldering glance.
Jesus. I
falter, my breath stuttering in my chest as I acknowledge just how much I like Noah.
Already, in the span of a few weeks, my feelings for him are real and complicated. I feel too many things in his presence, want too many things for the future that I know I shouldn’t.
He steps toward me, his fingers gripping my chin and tilting my face until I meet his eyes. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
Panic grips me for a second as I drown in the dark pool of his gaze. He’s already too much. This is too much. And the last time I let myself go there, it ended with my self-confidence shredded and my heart shattered. “You’re making me break all my rules,” I whisper, my eyes pleading with him to understand. The Indy I’ve been since I’ve met Noah again, the Indy I am when I’m in his company, is so different than the woman I’ve been for the past five years. The thing is, I really like her. But can I be her without Noah in my life?
What if things between us go sideways?
What if they don’t?
The thoughts collide in my head, warring for consideration.
“I’m not trying to change you, Indy,” he swears, his face pained at the thought.
“It’s not that. It’s that I like who I am when I’m with you.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“What if things go badly between us?”
“Why do you think that?” he asks, more curious than hurt.
I shrug. “You’re a professional hockey player.”
“You’re a professor.”
I smirk. “You travel a lot.”
“You don’t.”
“Noah!”
He grins, brushing some of my hair out of my eyes. “Babe, none of those details matter. I like you. You like me. Things between us are good, fun. But if this is too much, if you’re not feeling me or this or whatever, then say it. If you want to leave right now, I’ll take you home. We’ll be friends and we’ll be cool. The only thing I don’t want you to do is make a decision you’ll regret.” He scrapes his teeth over his bottom lip, shaking his head. In a lower voice, he adds, “I don’t know if I could handle you regretting me, Indy.”
I swallow, mentally weighing the pros and cons. Suddenly, it all seems like too much. My racing thoughts, my knotted stomach, my desperate heart. Should I just tell him my feelings for him are more than casual? That even though I said I could do this, I was wrong? But if I tell him, will I lose everything I share with him? The thought makes me feel nauseous and unsteady.
“Tell me what you’re thinking, Indy.”
I open my mouth. On the tip of my tongue are a thousand confessions. Truths that resonate in every fiber of my being but something holds me back from saying them aloud.
I glance up into Noah’s chocolate eyes and concerned expression. I clear my throat. Just say it, Indy. Own it. He frowns, his hands cupping my cheeks. He peers at me with such intensity that I…chicken out. What if I scare him away?
I shake my head and force a smile. “I want to stay, Noah.”
He studies me for a long beat. “You sure?”
I nod, leaning toward him.
I don’t have to lean far because Noah closes the gap, wrapping me in his arms and dropping his mouth to mine. My eyes flutter closed as I fall into the heady sensations his touch provides. His kiss is hot and passionate. He intoxicates me as his scent wraps around me and his touch drags me under. Ripping his mouth from mine, he trails kisses down my neck and I moan, arching my back to give him more access.
His mouth on my skin sparks something deep inside of me. Wildfire flares through my veins as my thoughts blur and the only thing I can focus on is how damn good my body feels under his touch. Easily, as if I weigh nothing, Noah picks me up and my legs wind around his hips. His mouth never leaves my skin as he carries me up the stairs and to his bedroom. When we enter the room, he places me in the center of his bed and pulls back several paces, staring at me. Hesitation flickers across his expression and my anxiety flares to life.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Absolutely nothing.” He shakes his head, tugging his sweater over his head with one hand, the way he always does. He drops it to the floor and my eyes zero in on his defined abs. “I like how you look in my bed.” Noah grins, losing his jeans. He moves to the edge of the mattress and leans over me, placing a sloppy kiss on my lips.
I lie back until my head hits the mattress and Noah climbs over me, straddling my waist. He brushes my hair out of my eyes and gazes at me as if he’s memorizing my face.
I blush and he grins.
“Little Indy, what are you doing to me?” he murmurs, leaning forward to press a kiss against my left cheek, followed by my right, followed by my forehead, the corners of my mouth, and finally my lips.
By the time his lips brush against mine, I’m practically vibrating with need. No man but him has ever taken their time with me and the buildup makes me feel off-balance. I arch my back, pressing into Noah as his tongue fills my mouth. While he kisses me, his fingers deftly pop the buttons on my sweater until it hangs open, with just my black bra between us.
He makes a sound in the back of his throat as his hand cups my breast, squeezing gently. Then his mouth leaves mine as he zeros in on his hand, his fingers teasing my nipple.
I can’t tear my gaze away as Noah’s fingers brush across my nipple, tweaking once, twice, three times, before gently peeling back the cup of my bra. My nipple tingles against the cool air, tight and peaked and a dusty pink. Noah licks his lips, his gaze shooting to mine. “You’re fucking perfect, Indy,” he says, his voice rough, before dipping his head and slowly dragging his tongue around and over my nipple.
I shudder and his hand begins to work my other breast as his mouth fastens against the nipple on display, teasing and sucking until I drop my head back, moaning. Noah removes my sweater and bra entirely and lavishes my breasts with enough attention that heat pools in my center and my hips start involuntarily pressing up, searching for him, for the delicious friction I know he can provide.
But he doesn’t hurry. Instead, he takes his time, kissing my skin, swirling his tongue around my belly button, caressing my jean-clad inner thighs with his long fingers. Everything about tonight feels different. There’s a languidness to our connection when it’s always seemed desperate. Tonight, we’re savoring instead of sprinting and with each passing moment, I fall more under Noah’s spell.
Slowly, he unbuttons my jeans and drags down the zipper, his breath catching as he spots the black and hot pink thong I’m wearing. “These are sexy, baby.” He runs his fingers featherlight over the lace and I squirm.
He does it again, grinning at me. “Are you wet for me?”
I nod, licking my lips. Part of me knows his words should embarrass me. No man has ever spoken to me so boldly before. But I’m too turned on, too desperate for his touch, to care. He works my jeans over my hips and I hear them hit the floor. Noah pauses, hooking one of my legs over his shoulder and nipping at the inside of my thigh.
He licks his lips, as if his mouth is watering and I feel my core clench in anticipation. Dropping his head, he presses open-mouthed kisses against my thighs as his fingers slide over the material of my thong and the pad of his thumb swipes down my center.
I shudder and he swears, doing it again. “So wet for me, baby.” His voice is strained as he takes two fingers and circles them over my clit, featherlight at first but working into a rhythm that has my hips bucking off the mattress and my eyes squeezing closed.
“So beautiful,” he murmurs before I feel his hot tongue against my core. Holy shit. He shifts his weight, his tongue replacing his fingers against my clit as two of his fingers enter me.
“Oh God,” I moan, my hands clutching at my breasts as Noah works me into an inferno, with my body trembling for release.
“I got you, Indy.” His voice is caressing before I feel his mouth on me again. Hot, passionate, and sexy, Noah’s sounds mix with mine, coloring the air with the scent of arousal and need.
He builds my body up in increments until everything inside of me tightens and explodes, and I cry out, riding the most powerful wave I’ve ever experienced. “Noah!”
He slows his mouth and fingers but continues to work me over until the last tremble recedes from my body.
Jesus. I can’t move. I can’t open my eyes. I can’t even think.
“Fucking gorgeous,” Noah murmurs, kissing my hip. “And you taste like candy. Sweet.”
I force my eyes open and nearly gasp at the expression on his face. It’s filled with wonder and a little bit of bewilderment. He moves up my body, positioning himself at my entrance. I feel the tip of him press against me and I shudder.
“Condom?” I squeak out, my voice husky, my body still trembling. This time, in need for him. For more.
He pauses, reaching over to grab one from his bedside table. Noah swears, dropping his forehead to mine. “We burned through that box, babe. Shit, I forgot to buy more.”
I groan, closing my eyes. I’ve never not used a condom before, not even with Jace. I’ve been on the pill for years and know that I’m clean but a condom always provided an added layer of protection.
“I’m sorry, Indy,” Noah sighs, starting to pull away.
My hips angle up, searching for him. For the first time since we started this thing, jealousy rises in my throat. I try not to think of all the women who have been in his bed before me to warrant keeping a jumbo box of condoms on hand but I can’t squash the flicker of envy. Obviously, I know he’s been with a hell of a lot of women. But does he light all of them up like that? Has he ever skipped on using a condom before?
“I’m on the pill,” I rasp out. “And I’m clean.”
“So am I,” Noah murmurs, his eyes searching mine. “You sure about this, Indy?” he stalls, reading something in my expression.
I nod.
He hesitates, waiting me out.
“Everything with you is more intense,” I admit. “It’s never been like this for me before.”