by Anna White
“When are you heading home?” She questioned.
“Tomorrow, I have my flight booked.” I placed myself back on the sofa, the coffee table was spewing out a warm feeling and I watched her relax a little. Her dark hair was pulled back in her low bun and gave me the perfect opportunity to examine her facial features in more detail. She was fucking beautiful.
“That soon huh?” She raised her brow towards me as she took another gulp of the beer.
“I could always cancel it?” I suggested and watched as she shook her head.
“No, I’ll enjoy the rest of my holiday thanks.” I noticed that she was stifling a smile and felt a wave of disappointment curse through me.
“So you’re not enjoying it now?” I questioned, my voice was quieter than I’d intended. I watched her eyes widen a little before she reached to touch my face, her fingers traced over my stubble and her head shook from left to right.
“I’m joking Haz.” I smiled and nodded.
“I know.” I winked and watched as she rolled her eyes. I loved watching her do that. It was sexy. I ran my fingers down her arm that was still cupping my face. Her eyes glanced over my lips and glazed over a little.
“When did this grow?” She ran her fingers over my stubble again, not taking her eyes off my beard.
“Pretty quickly actually,” her fingers traced over my lips and I kissed them softly “probably around 4 days since I last trimmed it.” She laughed a little and moved her hands. I had begun to forget how much I enjoyed her touch. It was comforting. “So what did you want to know?” I watched as she shrugged and went silent.
“I wish you’d just stop branding yourself as a monster.” She didn’t look up. “I’m confused. I just want to know why you all want me safe? I know that Rava has something to do with it but I just don’t understand…” her voice wobbled.
“It’s not just him.” I muttered and watched her eyes widen as she looked up under her thick lashes at me.
“What do you mean?” I couldn’t tell her about Bandoni. I couldn’t tell her that she was supposed to be a mark, that I was never supposed to have known about her let alone fall for her. Fuck I’d actually fallen for her. I gulped down my adams apple and shook my head.
“I’m in a lot of trouble with a lot of different people for a lot of different reasons.” I closed my eyes momentarily and felt her climb on my lap. It was then it felt like my whole world had stopped moving. Why was this sweet innocent little thing trying to comfort me? “If I told you all the fucked up shit I’d done you’d leave.” Tears pricked in the corners of my eyes and I shook my head. Her tiny hands gripped my face in hers forcing me to look her in the eye. Hers too looked pain.
“Try me?” She whispered and I shook my head. I wasn’t ready to lose her again. Memories of darker situations flicked through my head like pictures taken with a polaroid camera and I grimaced.
“Not tonight?” Her nose was resting against mine, I ran the length of her back with my fingers as she began to kiss me. There was no urgency but a sense of need. I wanted her but I’d promised Chlo I wouldn’t fix this with sex. Sex fixed everything but not in the long run. “I thought I’d figured out my path. I thought that I’d live my life the way I do until I overdosed or got myself killed. The truth is I’ve never seen myself living past 30 Avaya,” there was a sharp intake of breath from her lungs and I squeezed her slightly. “That was until I laid eyes on you.” My lips traced hers and her eyes closed softly, her long thick dark lashes fluttered and it sent my heart into a frenzy. In my minds eye I pictured Jay bursting through my bedroom door back at Alfie’s singing Ushers U Got It Bad at me and bit my lip in an attempt to stop myself from laughing. “I don’t think I’ve ever really loved anybody.” The words just kept coming. Falling like a waterfall and they needed to stop. Her hands slipped down my neck and were resting against my shoulders. She examined my facial expression and frustration grew in me. I wanted so desperately to be able to read her mind.
“So we just go with the flow?” Her tone was soft. So soft and I offered her a small smile. “Can you just promise me one thing?” I wanted to nod but fear gripped me so I froze. I was scared shitless of what she wanted me to promise. I didn’t want to break it and I was good at doing that. I broke everything. “Promise me you’ll try and get clean?” Tears filled her eyes.
“I haven’t touched anything for the last week,” she didn’t reply. I wasn’t convinced that she believed a word I was saying and if I was her I wouldn’t have either. “I needed to know I wasn’t just lusting after you.” Her sea green eyes caught mine and my breathing halted.
“And are you?” She moved backwards slightly on my lap and I bit my lip.
“I mean of course,” I cleared my throat and shook my head trying to put my response together. It seemed no matter how hard I tried the words just didn’t want to come out in the way I wanted them to. “I mean, I still want you,” This was hopeless. “It’s not just that. I wouldn’t have flown over here to just get my fill of you.” Her eyebrow was raised and she was blushing.
“You sure about that?” There was an air of sarcasm to her tone of voice which made me smile.
“I’m sure.” She chuckled as she rose from off my lap and clutched my hand in hers. She pulled softly and I pulled back. She was standing between my legs, her little white dress clung to her perfectly shaped body and I ran my hands over her hips as I pulled her closer to me. I looked up at her face from where I was sat. “You’ve said no and I made a promise not to touch you until I could sort my head out.”
“Who did you promise that to.” Myself. My subconscious growled and I shook my head before I placed my head against her stomach. “Come to bed Harry.” She ran her fingers through my hair and then down the length of my arms. My promise to myself was getting harder to keep the more she pushed me.
“Please don’t tempt me.” I whispered and felt her pull gently on my arms.
“Please?” She was almost begging and I stood. “My feet are throbbing and I’m sleepy. I just want you next to me.” She admitted. “I sleep easier next to you.” The colour crimson rose in her face and I dipped down to lay my lips against her cheek.
“I do too.” She smiled sweetly. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen and watched as she padded across the balcony towards the sliding door. She glanced back over her shoulder. Her hair still in that neat bun. My eyes traced the shape of her body and I shook my head. No Haz!
The bed was in the living quarters. There was no sofa inside the small apartment. She was peeling her dress off her body. I took off my shirt and flung it towards my suitcase and stood in awe of her. I made my way slowly to the other side of the bed and unbuttoned my shorts, my eyes never left her. I watched as she covered her boobs with her arm and flushed red again.
“Why are you so shy?” She shrugged and slipped into bed. “I’ve seen them before.” I stated and almost wanted to kick myself.
“I just am.” She wasn’t shy when she had your dick in her mouth. I gritted my teeth at the memory and plonked myself down next to her. I knew she’d reach to touch my chest and I braced myself for impact but she didn’t. She seemed to be putting distance between us and I didn’t know whether to thank her for it or ask her why she was doing it. “I just think about all the women you’ve been with like Chlo,” I instantly stopped her flow.
“Avaya. They’ve all had work done. Chloe has had her tits done, her lips filled and more rat poison injected into her than you could shake a stick at…”
“But she’s beautiful.” I wanted to roll my eyes but it was clear that she was blinded by what she thought was beautiful.
“She is but she’s not happy with the way she looks now even after having everything done.” It was the truth. She still complained that she had wrinkles and that her lips weren’t the right shape. I paused hoping she’d say something but she doesn’t. “You know,” I turned on my side to face her and smiled “when I first saw you I swore you’d had your tits done, and I cou
ld have swore you’d had fillers.” I ran my fingers over her lips and smirked as she faced me.
“I’ve had nothing done.” She stated bluntly.
“Oh I know.” My eyes wandered over her face “Jay said you were beautiful.” I almost snorted. The thought of him having eyes for her made my blood boil. “He liked you.” I watched her eyes widen at my confession.
“No he liked Nancy?” Her voice wobbled.
“No he liked you.” I reiterated my earlier statement. “You should have seen his face when I admitted what had happened between us, he looked like a bear with a sore head.” She didn’t say anything further she just stared in my eyes. She was so youthful. I ran my hand over her cheek and watched her close her eyes. “Take your hair down.” I muttered against her lips and she instantly did as she was told. As much as I loved the way she’d disobey me and pushed me from time to time she was a good girl and did as I asked. Her hair cascaded over the pillow behind her head and the familiar smell hit me. My hand ran over the skin on her stomach and hip under the white bedsheet and for a second I was sure I heard her stifle a moan. Being this close to her again was dangerous. My pulse rate spiked as she ushered her body closer to mine, her leg hooked itself over my hip, my hand grew its own mind and traced over her arse, pulling her even closer. Her eyes were still shut. Fuck sake Av your making this extremely hard for me. Her thumb traced my neck softly and I took a deep breath. I wanted to tell her I loved her, I wanted to tell her I’d keep my promise on staying clean, I wanted nothing more than to explain how fucked up the situation between Rava and Bandoni was and what my hands were capable of doing but I couldn’t. My heart thudded but her lips had parted slightly, her eyes were softly closed and the sound of her even breathing almost soothed me. She’d fallen asleep. Her body was slack, a dead weight against me but everything I needed. My fingers traced her hair as I pushed it away from her face.
***** I crouched down next to her, excessive amounts of blood were leaving her body and she was screaming out in pain. Jay wasn’t here to save me to save us this time. This was revenge. His revenge. ***** I awoke from my nightmare sweating, drops of salty water dropped from my forehead and my breathing unsteady. Nightmares were regular when I was sober, part of the reason I never wanted to be however, it had been a while since I’d had that one. The one of Holly losing the baby. Nightmares of my past always came back when I was clean. I glanced across at Av, she was still sleeping. The room in the air was cooler this morning. Her hair was fanned out across the white pillow beneath her head, her lips were parted slightly and her chest rose and fell softly. I smiled to myself and ran my fingers over her collar bone before I kissed her cheek. She barely moved. I smirked and watched her sleep for a while. Call me creepy but I enjoyed watching her sleep. She was peaceful and it rubbed off on me. I couldn't remember the last time I’d slept soundly. I watched as she flung herself towards me, she squeezed her eyes together and flexed underneath the covers before she groaned. Her eye lashes fluttered as she struggled to keep her eyes open. A small chuckle escaped my lips and she smirked.
“How long have you been awake?” Her voice was husky almost as if it was still asleep, her arms fell around my neck and I tucked her hair behind her ear.
“Not long enough.” I found myself running my lips against the edges of her jaw. I loved sleepy sexy Avaya. I could get used to waking up like this. The sheets had dropped lower, freeing her chest and ribs and I bit down on my lip trying my very hardest not to let my morning glory get the best of me. Her nipples were stood to attention, my guess it was because of the cool chill in the room and I cleared my throat slightly. Her eyes opened slowly, they were dark with desire and I shook my head. I knew that look. She tugged lightly on my arms, I was now over her, she looked even smaller beneath me. My erection grew against my boxers and I examined her. She was giving me that same look she gave me every time she wanted something more. Your promise, your promise, your promise. I chanted over and over in my head. I hadn’t even kissed her and she’d already got me like this. Her eyes never left mine. Every time I looked back at her she was still watching me. Her fingertips traced my shoulders and down the back of my arms, I needed her desperately to stop before I lost control. The other part of me was screaming to let go. I toyed with the idea of just moving and offering to make breakfast but I wasn’t hungry for food. You could eat her. I growled in response to my inner thoughts and felt her place her soft lips against mine. Her breath was surprisingly sweet considering she’d not brushed her teeth and I closed my eyes as I let her have her fill. I dropped down from my hands to my forearms as I lay over her, I pressed myself between her legs and watched as she grappled with an internal moan. I clenched my jaw together tightly and kissed her slowly.
“You said no sex.” I reminded her. Her eyes opened and she glanced at my eyes. I felt her against my boxers, she was already wet and waiting. “You’re making this promise very difficult to keep Avay.” Her eyes closed as I said her name. I ran my lips down her neck, traced the soft skin of her collar bone and over her chest before I reached her nipple. I kissed it softly. I heard her take in a breath and I rolled her other one between my fingers.
“Please.” Her voice sounded breathy and I sucked slightly harder on it once it was in my mouth. I heard her whimper and closed my eyes. I released her nipple from my mouth, I kissed down her stomach, her back arched as I hit the line of her thong and I nipped her hip with my teeth. Her eyes darkened again and I clenched my jaw. You’re gonna cave. Please don’t look at me like that. I gulped harder and watched as she leant up on her forearms.
“I’m not breaking my promise.” I kissed her stomach just above where the line of her thong sat. My boner raged and I heard her sigh.
“I won’t break you know.” She raised her eyebrow at me and I smirked at her sexy expression.
“You might?” She too smirked and ran her fingers through the top of my hair. I made my way slowly towards her and kissed back up her body before I nibbled on her neck. She giggled softly and I felt her kiss my chin.
“What time do you fly?” She questioned.
“Later tonight.” She nodded and stretched out beneath me before she yawned.
“So I have you for another day?” Her tone was teasing and I smirked as I hauled myself away from her. I was worried if I stayed there any longer I’d give in and we’d end up having blissful sex.
“You have me for the rest of your life.” I didn’t think about my response, it was only when I glanced at her open mouth I realised what I’d just said. I couldn’t correct it and I didn’t really want to.
Vens - December 17th
I’d left her like I promised. I kept the promise to myself and I didn’t fix our problems with sex. No matter how much I wanted to. Jay was pacing the kitchen on the phone, his face was red in colour and his voice was raised. He was rubbing his forehead with his free hand, his blue suit jacket tightened around his biceps.
“I don’t give a flying shit how much it costs,” he boomed “Della, tell him to suck my dick will you?” I pursued my lips together to try and hold in my laugh. “No, I want it and we need it so I’ll make it happen…” his voice trailed off and I watched his brow furrow. “Tell Lena to go home, her daughter is due home tonight.” He almost slammed his iPhone down on the kitchen island and I heard him growl. “Fuck!” This was the first time in a long time I’d seen him this stressed over work. I knew it had probably got something to do with running two businesses at once. It’s not easy to be a director of a law firm and a drug mule extraordinaire.
“Rough day?” I muttered from the doorway and he glanced up, his eyes were heavy.
“I’m just tired Haz. I haven’t been this tired for years.” He shook his head and I placed a firm pat against his back.
“I’m back now, I’ll help.” He smirked, the corners of his mouth lifted into a smile.
“How did it go?” My shoulders shifted up and down. I didn’t really want to tell him.
“She’s alright,
thinner but fine. I’ve said my apologies.” He stood up straight again and I smiled as he tapped my shoulder.
“Good Lena hasn’t spoken to me for weeks, I swear she thought I was the one breaking her daughter.” I scoffed a laugh.
“Oh how terrible.” I rolled my eyes, his fist dug in my stomach and I held it. “Don’t be so rough!” I punched his arm and watched him smile.
“Sorry…” he stood silent for a while “so Bandoni is a slight problem,” I grimaced at his confession. “He’s asking where she is and why we haven’t turned her in. Good news is he’s said nothing to Rava.” My stomach instantly churned.
“So he’s keeping his son out of it too?” That filled me with confidence.
“He knows we usually get jobs done.” Jays tone was patronising.
“We still don’t know why he wants her Jay, what if she’s like I dunno a secret millionaires daughter or I dunno…” I realised my thoughts sounded absolutely ridiculous but I had no idea why he wanted her. When he called us he wanted somebody dead. He never wanted them alive and well. That was his only request.
“Well Rava wants her now too because he’s seen your fucking reaction around her,” I rolled my eyes at him “yeah you carry on rolling your eyes but there’s only so much you can protect her. She’s got the fucking Italian Mafia after her.” I pushed his chest softly and watched him shrug. “Look I’m going for a shower, then the gym and then I’m going to bed, it’s getting late and I have to go into the office for a meeting tomorrow are you coming by the way?” I shook my head.
“No I can’t. I need to sort the other drops out so I’ll have to make a rain check.” He shook his head and I smirked. “I’m on the board now I can do whatever I want.” I winked as he left me stood in the kitchen. I heard Chlo’s light laughter coming from the hallway. She was dressed casually, more so than normal and I watched as she flited from one side of the kitchen to the other.
“So how did you get on? Is she coming back?” She questioned, I smirked and shrugged.