by Danika Stone
“So you got a bird?”
“Yeah. But it’s pretty small.” She sighed and put the pitiful creature directly into the fire. “I guess we can forget about eating the skin. Just focus on the meat.” She looked up and gave a quick smile. “You rest, Ash. I’ve got this.”
“Thanks.”
“You need to go to the bathroom?”
“Uh … yeah. Please.” Ash coughed, then moaned. “Can you help me up again?”
Vale headed to his side. “On three, okay? Ready? One … two…” She tugged, and Ash bit back a scream. She helped him move a few feet from the fire. Ash fought the urge to rage. Hate being this weak! But there was no other choice. He did need the help.
“This is far enough,” Vale said as she unbuttoned his jeans, then stepped behind him. “You go. I’m going to wait. Tell me if you start to feel lightheaded, all right?”
Ash closed his eyes, relaxing. “Yeah. You got it.”
A few minutes later, they were back at the fire. The unmistakable smell of cooking poultry reached his nostrils, and Ash sighed. “God, that smells so good.” He had no idea how Vale had caught the bird, but he didn’t care.
“Should be done in a bit,” she said. “You doing okay?”
Ash tried to answer, but his eyes were drooping again. Even the short walk had depleted his energy. “F-fine.” Shivers rippled through him.
“You warm enough? You want me to build up the fire a little?”
“Yeah, if you don’t mind.”
“No problem.” She pulled several pieces of kindling from the pile and added them to the fire at his side. “Just let me know how I can help.”
“God. You’ve done everything so far. I’m dead weight, Vale.”
“You’re not.”
“Am too,” he grumbled.
“Ash, stop. We’re friends. This is what friends do for each other.”
Ash tried to answer her, but there was a painful lump in his throat. Friends. Vale had saved his life last night, but on any day of the week, Ash couldn’t even stand up for her against Mike and the other jerks in the class. Tears prickled along his lower lids. I’m a bad friend.
Suddenly, the words he’d thought, but could never figure out how to say, were tumbling out.
“I … I’m sorry for not saying anything against them,” he said. “For thinking it, but never—” His voice broke.
Vale lifted her head. “What’re you talking about, Ash?”
“B-before, at school. When the guys were harassing you in c-class. Making fun of y-you. I—I—” A hot tear rolled down his cheek. “I should’ve t-told them to screw off. I never did.”
“Ash. You’re hurt. This doesn’t matter right n—”
“I need to say it, all right?” His voice cracked. “I’m a bad friend; I—”
“You’re not.”
Ash was crying now, his voice hitched and broken. “B-but I should have stopped them. I—I thought about it, but … but…”
Vale took a stick and pushed the smoking grouse to the side of the fire, not holding Ash’s eyes. She took a shaking breath. It was the same kind of sound his mother made when she was about to cry and trying not to show it. “It’s okay, Ash,” she said thickly. “I understand.”
He let out a choking laugh, then grimaced as his ribs grated. “Yeah? Well, you’re a better person than me,” he said, “’cause I don’t. It’s m-messed up. F-friends don’t do that.”
Vale caught his eyes across the fire. She was crying, and that made him feel worse. “I get it.”
“Get what?! I’m a jerk.”
“No.” She shook her head. “It’s hard to make yourself a target. I … I understand that.”
“You shouldn’t.”
She sighed. “It’s fine, Ash.”
“It’s not.” He reached out for her hand even though the effort made him feel sick. Vale looked at his open palm for a second, then slipped her hand into his. “I’m sorry, Vale, so fricking sorry!” he said fiercely. “I—I should have done something to h-help you. I…” He let go of her hand and wiped tears from his eyes. “I wish I had.”
Vale scooted up next to him and wrapped her arms gently around his shoulders. “It’s okay,” she said in a choking voice. “I’m fine. So are you. We’re friends, Ash. Let it go.”
He leaned against her and closed his eyes, waves of remorse riding through him. “And what if I can’t?”
To that, Vale had no answer, so they sat in silence instead.
* * *
The teams of searchers switched off throughout the day and night, and Janelle found herself mingling with a motley group pooled from the local community. There were firemen and ranchers, local townspeople, and several park employees in the group. They started at Red Rock Canyon, moving deeper with each passing hour. They ate and camped along the trail, supplies brought in by helicopter.
Janelle had never been so tired in her life.
Reaching the clearing south of Avion Ridge, Janelle located a uniformed woman who appeared to be in charge. She glanced at the ID badge: Warden Aya Banks.
“Where are we searching today?” Janelle asked her.
Warden Banks turned. “Heading out toward Sage Pass. There’s a group out there already. We’ll trade off with them so they can get a few hours of sleep.” She hoisted her pack onto her back. “You one of the new volunteers?”
“I am.”
She nodded. “Then grab your things, and let’s get ready. We need to find these kids as soon as we can. Warden McNealy and the others have already headed out. We need to hurry.”
The anxious feeling in Janelle’s chest tightened. “Did something happen…?”
Aya frowned. “Not yet, but there’s more snow coming. We need to find them before then.”
“Why before?”
Warden Banks paused. “Do you know much about the snowpack in the mountains?” The way she phrased it had the same bone-weary patience Janelle often found herself using with her students.
“No,” she admitted. “I don’t. Is there some reason I should?”
“See there?” Aya nodded and pointed to the far western slope of the mountains. “That, there, is Sage Pass. We figure that’s where those two kids got off track.”
Janelle winced. Where MY two students got lost.
“But they left the pass sometime later. Doesn’t look like they got caught in the snowslide,” Warden Banks said, “so we figure they must be headed south now.”
“But that’s good, right? I mean, Waterton is south.”
Aya’s face grew dark. “No. It’s not good at all.”
Janelle stared at her, fear coming fast and tight around her.
“There’s a chain of mountains and a valley between where those kids likely are and the passage to the town.” Aya sighed. “One of the mountains is called Starvation Peak … and below it is Starvation Valley. That’s where they’ll get caught if they keep walking. And that’s why we’ve got to find them.”
Janelle swallowed hard. She wanted to ask why but didn’t dare. There was a scream building in the back of her throat, and if she let it out, it would never stop.
“Back in the eighteen hundreds,” the warden continued, “there was a group of indigenous people who used the mountain routes for travel. A band of them—Kootenai, most likely—were going through the pass when the snows came early.” She paused. “Much like this year.”
“The snow,” Janelle whispered.
Warden Banks nodded. “The tribe was trying to get back out to the plains, but the snow came, and they were caught—the entire group of them—in a narrow pass. Once it started snowing, they couldn’t get out. The sides were too steep and the mountains too tall. They were trapped and … they starved.”
Janelle felt the ground shift beneath her. That’s where Vale and Ash are headed.
“So when I say we have to find those kids,” the warden said, her voice gentling, “I’m not kidding. I’m telling you because there’s another snowfall forecast tom
orrow, and once it starts, it’s not going to stop.”
Janelle nodded. “Then it’s up to us to find them today.”
Warden Banks nodded. “Exactly. Because if we don’t, their bodies won’t be found until spring.”
* * *
The spruce grouse was gamey and tough, but it was food, and for that, Vale was grateful. Now we just need to stay warm. Despite being surrounded by a forest, this task was harder than it seemed. The clouds drew in like a curtain, bringing with them a fine mist of rain that never truly fell, but never actually stopped raining either. It was like standing outside an icy shower. The damp leached through Vale’s clothes, settled against her skin, and forced the cold deep in her bones. She took nervous forays out into the forest, always alert for animals.
She’d been lucky with the first spruce grouse, but her attack had spooked the others and there were no more to be seen. There were berries out there, however. It just took time to find them. After half an hour of searching, she located a few stubby bushes with sparse clumps of chokecherries that amounted to a couple of cups. A few minutes after that, she found an even smaller patch of huckleberries, though the remaining berries that clung to the branches were small and tart. Each time she came back to the camp with more firewood and a few more berries, but it was slim pickings compared to what she’d found in the glade with the bear. Still, it was something.
She had just returned with another handful to add to the bag when Ash began to cough. He groaned and reached out for his ribs with his good hand.
“Oh God! That hurts.”
“Want to lie down?” Vale asked.
“Not yet. I have trouble breathing when I lie down too long.”
A sliver of fear ran the length of Vale’s spine. “Right.”
Ash was clearly in pain, and Vale worried about the fever. Something was wrong, and it was more than just his ribs. Vale rustled through her first aid kit and pulled out the acetaminophen tablets. She squinted at the label on the plastic package, then popped out two.
“Here,” she said. “Take these.” She dropped them into his hand and brought him a bottle of water to wash them down.
“Thanks. You have more of them?”
Vale glanced down at the four unbroken blister-sealed packs. “A few … but not enough.”
She headed out twice more that afternoon: once to gather a handful of berries, another time to locate firewood. When Ash was caught up in a fit of coughing near nightfall, she gave him the next two acetaminophen tablets and insisted that he sit inside the shelter out of the rain.
Vale built a roaring bonfire. Eventually, she used up the pile of branches and had to move on to the larger, fallen trees that surrounded them. (She checked each one for wood ants before she dragged it to camp.) At one point, Vale found an entire dead tree that was small enough to drag with her. Inspired, she pushed the entire log into the fire at one end, and as it burned, she moved it inward into the flames. It reminded Vale of the way you could sharpen a pencil down to nothing. It was a solution that gave her time to stop gathering wood. She crouched down and scooted into the relative warmth of the shelter.
“Ash? You feeling any better?”
He was lying on the bed of pine boughs, but he opened his eyes as she came nearer. His face was flushed again, the fever making his dark eyes bright. “Yeah,” he croaked. “Doing just great. Can’t you tell?”
“Mind if I join you in here? I’ve got a good fire going, but it’s getting cold.”
“Sure.” He coughed, but it was cut off almost immediately by a groan of pain. “But I’m not much company right now.”
“You need anything? Some water?”
“No thanks.”
“Some more pine boughs to lie on? I could grab a few to soften—”
“I’m fine.”
“Need to go to the bathroom? I can help you walk, if—”
“Vale, just stop!” he said in a sharp voice. “I’m messed up and I feel awful, but otherwise … fine. Just hang out for a bit. Talk to me.”
“About what?”
“I dunno. Like … anything. Just distract me, all right?”
“I…” Vale frowned. That he wanted distraction worried her. “Ash, are you really okay?”
He laid his head back and closed his eyes. “Totally fine, just…” He coughed, then cringed. “Just talk, Vale. Distract me.”
She took a slow breath. “Okay. So, what’re we going to talk about?”
“How about what you plan to do after high school?”
Vale groaned. “Ugh … I don’t even want to think about that yet.”
Ash opened one eye. “You kidding?”
“No, I’m not kidding. I just don’t want to decide. I … I know I need to figure out my college plans, but right now I just want to get through high school.”
Ash frowned. “But I thought for sure you’d have everything planned by now. You always told me you wanted to be a biologist. Study animals and stuff.”
Vale shrugged.
“No, seriously, Vale. You always talked about that when we were kids.”
“Yeah, well … it still interests me, but I don’t know if I’m ready to take that leap or not.”
“Why not?”
She glared at him. “’Cause I just don’t know, okay?”
“Uh … yeah. I get that. But not knowing sounds weirdly … like me.”
Vale laughed. “What do you mean?”
“I dunno. It just doesn’t make sense. You’re Vale Shumway. You’re supposed to know that stuff.”
Vale snorted with laughter.
“No, really,” Ash said. “You’re in all the honors classes. You’re on student council. You volunteer for all the cocurricular—”
“I’m the least popular person in the entire school.”
“Hey! That’s not true.”
She laughed. “Yeah, well. You have to say that ’cause we’re best friends.”
Ash frowned.
Vale shrugged. “I guess right now I’m just trying to … get through each day. The thought of purposefully extending that kind of torture just freaks me out a bit.”
“What do you mean?”
“Yes, I love reading about things, but college is more than just studying.” She sighed. “I’m worried that college is just going to be a brand-new bunch of Mikes and Brodies.”
“You don’t know that.”
“And you don’t know it won’t be.” She laughed, but it had a bitter edge. “It’s hard, Ash. I won’t lie. Thinking about four more years of that after high school just…” She sighed. “It exhausts me.”
Ash propped his head up on his good hand. “So change it.”
“Like that’s so easy.”
“It is, Vale! You just have to find the right people to hang out with. Have fun. Get out once in a while.”
“The right people?” Vale stared at him. “I hang out with you, Ash. When I’m online, I have Bella. How are those not the right people?”
“I don’t mean it like that.”
“Then what?”
“I mean—you and me—we were always friends, but I never really felt like I truly ‘fit in’ until I got into the right gaming communities.”
“But you always play video games, Ash.” She rolled her eyes. “God, even I played video games back in the day, but that doesn’t mean—”
“It has to be the right people. The right groups,” he said. “You stopped playing in middle school.”
“Because I was getting trolled.”
“And I hated that. I did. But I don’t play with those guys.” He frowned. “Not anymore. And it wasn’t until I found the right kind of people online that I really felt like I had a place. Like I…” He frowned as he searched for the words. “Like I had my own people. And that brought its own confidence. It’s not just online either. It’s just finding people with common interests.”
A wistful smile crossed Vale’s lips. “Is that why you keep trying to get me to play Dungeons & Dragons w
ith you?”
He ducked his chin. “Maybe.”
“That’s really nice, Ash.”
“It is! I mean, if you like D&D, then maybe you’ll give gaming a try again.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Listen, Vale. I live here in Alberta, but the people I play with are from around the world. They share the same interests. They have the same passions, the same games they like to play…”
As Ash spoke, Vale felt herself pulled into his excitement. He spoke of his gaming friends with the same joy she felt when surrounded by her friends—like Bella—who she’d met online years earlier. But there were too many hours in the day when she wasn’t surrounded by open-minded people. Vale watched Ash as he spoke, his voice rising and falling with enthusiasm. Maybe that’s the difference, she thought. He’s found where he fits. Where he can be himself. I’m still looking.
“… and in the end, it really isn’t about the game at all,” Ash said. “It’s about having fun with friends. My mom’s always on me about what a waste of time it is, but I dunno. I’ve met some of the coolest people in the world online.” His smile wobbled. “I miss having you there, playing with me.”
Vale smiled sadly. “I miss that too.”
“There are good people online too, Vale. Friends who’ll back you up no matter what.”
“Yeah, but I know some pretty cool people in real life too. Friends who’d literally risk their lives to climb a mountain and get a message out to save us.”
Ash smirked. “That friend of yours sounds pretty badass.”
“Oh, he’s the badass-est of all.”
“Then you should keep hanging out with him. Maybe even game with him once in a while.”
“Game, huh? Is this the same friend who’s looking for another member of his Dungeons & Dragons party? ’Cause I’m pretty sure I’ve already talked to him about this.”
“Yeah, that’s him,” Ash said. “And I’ve gotta tell you, if he’s that badass about mountain climbing, I bet his gaming skills are pretty solid too.”
“Unless orcs are involved,” she teased.
Vale giggled, and Ash laughed, but it turned into a cough, and from there to wheezing gasps. Suddenly the lighthearted joking was gone, fear in its place. Ash groaned and fell back against the nest of pine branches.