by P. Creeden
“Don’t apologize.” Her voice was barely audible, her whisper so quiet.
He looked at her. Her wide, watery, and sorrowful eyes were fixed out the window as his had been. To look at her broke his heart. How could he have been so stupid, so careless. He’d let the stranger push him into doing something he shouldn’t have done. “But I—”
“Don’t,” she said, shaking her head. “Don’t take the words back. Don’t say you didn’t mean them. Please.”
He blinked at her. What did she mean?
After a long moment of listening to the snow shush outside while his eyes were fixed on her and her eyes were fixed out the window, she finally pulled her gaze away from the white storm outside and met eyes with him. Her big, blue eyes were full of soul and so deep, he thought he could drown in them if he stared too long. Breathlessly he continued to stare and felt himself being pulled in. Finally, he found his breath. “I...”
But she didn’t stay to hear his answer. Instead she walked over toward her father, set her hands on his shoulders and whispered something in his ear before kissing his temple. She nodded toward Mr. Gould and whispered goodnight before slipping up the stairs and out of sight.
Amanda’s father stood. “This room is the warmest in the house, so it truly is the best place for Miss Garnet and little Victoria. The next room over is a bunk area where there are two beds, if you two gentleman can get along well enough to share it, even though you’re strangers?”
“Yes, that would be fine,” Mr. Gould said, standing.
“That would be no problem at all,” Nate agreed. But somehow, he felt that this situation wouldn’t be best for getting a good night’s rest.
Amanda
It was a fitful night of sleep, as Amanda had too much on her mind. At best she got a few shallow hours of surface sleep before the gray light of dawn began the softest glow through her window. She got up from her bed, placing her feet on the cold hardwood flooring. Her father always told her to leave her socks on for sleeping at night, but she had continued to be rebellious in that one area. After quickly getting her night clothing changed, she slipped into her jodhpurs and a clean shirt. Even though the outfit was far from feminine, she knew that Nate had seen her several times like this, but Mr. Gould had not. If Mr. Gould was serious about his intentions, then he should see every side of the coin he was trying to take hold of.
After unbraiding her hair and brushing it out, she plaited it once more and rolled it into a bun at the base of her neck. Then she started down the steps. The first thing to strike her ears were the quiet sobs of someone crying. She rushed down the steps to see if everything was okay with the child. Just in front of the fireplace, sat Miss Garnet. The redheaded woman was closer in age to Nate than she was to Amanda. She stood a bit taller and had a slimmer, more delicate frame. The woman sat in front of the fireplace with her hands over her face and the pallet next to her, empty.
Amanda rushed forward. “What is the matter?”
The woman blinked up at her with red-rimmed eyes, tears streaming down her face. “I awoke a short half-hour ago and cannot find my little Victoria anywhere. I looked outside and saw her footsteps in the light snow on the porch but can’t see if she continued out into the snow, as there’s been more snow since.”
Amanda’s stomach twisted into a knot, and she rushed to the front door. Sure enough, small-shoed foot prints lead from the door to the two feet of snow out in front of the house. At least it had stopped snowing by now, and that was a blessing. The snow just in front of the porch had collapsed, and it seemed someone, probably Miss Garnet, had gone digging in the snow several feet out. It was true that the snowfall would almost be over the child’s head if she attempted to walk out in it. Victoria’s little coat and shoes were missing from the area by the front door as well.
Even though Amanda’s first instinct was to run out into the snow, just as the governess had done, she knew it was the wrong way to handle things. She spun on her heel and faced the woman. “Have you woken her father?”
Slowly the woman shook her head. “He’s going to kill me.”
“Certainly, you’re mistaken,” Amanda said as she stepped toward the woman who continued to wring her hands. Amanda placed a hand on her shoulder. She shivered. The governess’s body was still cold from her trek into the snow. “I’ll do it. Stay by the fire and get warm.”
After making her way over to the bunk area door, Amanda rapped on it three times. Then she called in, “Mr. Gould. I’m sorry to disturb you, but we need your help. There’s been an emergency. Mr. Gould?”
The door ripped open before she could knock again. Nate stood in the doorway, his eyes wide open, though his lids were slightly puffy with sleep. “What’s wrong, Amanda? What’s happened?”
He still wore his long underwear, and nothing else. Mr. Gould sat up from his bunk, in a similar state of undress. Heat rushed to Amanda’s cheeks as she turned slightly away. “Miss Garnet woke a short half-hour ago to find Victoria missing. We still haven’t found her.”
“What?” Mr. Gould yelled, leaping to his feet. He grabbed his trousers from the bedpost, but that was all Amanda saw before she backed away and averted her eyes further.
“We’ll be right out. Give us a moment,” Nate said before closing the door and heading back into the room.
Within two minutes, both men were fully dressed and in the sitting area, where Amanda had an arm around Miss Garnet, who had yet to stop sobbing. Her shoulders were still cold as she must have been digging in the snow without having put on a coat or gloves. Then Amanda peered down at the woman’s bright red feet and realized that the governess had even gone out into the snow barefoot.
Mr. Gould’s face was red with anger and his eyes flashed as he drew closer to the governess. She cowered within Amanda’s arms. He glared at Miss Garnet as if seeing her and nothing else. “Tell me exactly what is going on? What happened? How did you let Victoria disappear again?”
He raised a hand, readying to slap the woman. But when the hand came down, Amanda didn’t even think, she pulled Miss Garnet back out of the man’s reach and took the blow to her own cheek.
Chapter 9
Amanda
Stars flashed in Amanda’s vision and her ears rang. The cheek that Mr. Gould struck stung and heated right away. Blackness enveloped her, so she could barely see the firelight through the fog. She heard a shout and a scuffle. Then she blinked several times, trying to gain her ability to see what was going on. Slowly things came back into view, and she found Mr. Gould on the floor with his arm behind his back, and Nate sitting on him. Nate’s jaw remained tight as he spoke through his teeth. “I don’t care what’s happened, a gentleman never strikes a lady. Never.”
“What’s going on down here?” her father bellowed from the stairs as he loped down them. When he reached the bottom step, he blinked his widened eyes and his jaw dropped. “Nate! What’s the meaning of this?”
Amanda rubbed the spot on her cheek, trying to get the sting out of it. Miss Garnet wailed beside her.
Nate twisted the man’s arm up farther until Mr. Gould cried out in pain. Then Nate spoke again, his teeth still clenched tight. “If I let you up, you had better not make one violent move toward anyone in this house, you understand me?”
“Violent?” Her father blinked, taking a step closer. “Just what is going on this morning?”
Slowly, Nate released his hold on Mr. Gould and helped the man to his feet. Once standing, Mr. Gould yanked his arm from Nate’s hold and rubbed his shoulder. “That’s quite enough. I’m within my rights to discipline my daughter’s governess. She’s in my employ, and presently, my Victoria is missing.”
“I don’t care what’s happened. A woman is much more delicate than another man. You cannot just strike her on your own whim. And besides, you struck Miss Amanda instead.”
Mr. Gould blinked in shock, suddenly shaking his head and taking a step closer to Amanda. “Please forgive me. I didn’t know. You must know that I woul
d never strike you.”
Miss Garnet wailed louder, and Amanda held her while she backed up a step. “I know no such thing, Mr. Gould. In fact, I’ll have to ask you to step back please, you are making both me and Miss Garnet quite uncomfortable.”
“This is outrageous. What insanity has come with this storm today? Let’s all take a deep breath and calm down.” Amanda’s father—ever the voice of reason in her life. “We’ll have no violence in my house. No one has the right to be violent here. Amanda, take Miss Garnet into the kitchen for some tea while the men discuss some things.”
Amanda nodded and escorted Miss Garnet to the kitchen. She sat the woman down in a chair at the table and then started the kettle on. Then she rested a hand on the woman’s shoulder. “Stay here and get warm. I need to go back in there and tell them what’s going on with Miss Victoria. That can’t wait another minute.”
She nodded, and Amanda left, striding back into the sitting area. She found her father and Nathan bowing their heads in prayer, while Mr. Gould had his head bowed slightly, but eyes open. When he spotted her, he lifted his head up, his eyes apologetic toward her.
Now Amanda really tried her best not to judge people too much based on their personality when they first meet. She understood that first impressions could be wrong, but when she’d first met Mr. Gould right after church, she’d taken note of how the man had not been in attendance. Though she didn’t want to be like Mrs. Eugenia and judge so harshly, she’d still taken it as a small warning about what kind of man Mr. Gould was. Another thing that she didn’t like was how the man had taken the liberty of coming too close to her when he spoke with her. Though she’d met other people who didn’t have a gauge of suitable space between a man and an unmarried woman, it had rung another alarm bell in her mind. Even the slap was a mistake, as it was meant for another person, but again, Nate was right when he’d said that a gentleman never strikes a lady. And now he didn’t even bow his head in prayer with her father?
Could the man be any more different than Nate?
“Amen,” her father finished and raised his head.
Mr. Gould took the opportunity to draw near to Amanda once more. But Nate grasped him by the arm. Nate’s blue eyes still flashed with anger at the man, and his intentions were obvious. He wasn’t going to let the man come near her again if he could help it. And for that, Amanda shot him a look of gratitude. Her chest felt warm just because she understood his need to protect her.
Finally, she took a deep breath and started. “We’ve wasted enough time. It’s now been closer to forty-five minutes since the governess found Victoria missing when she awoke. We don’t even know how long the child was gone while the governess was still asleep. There is a trail of small feet that go off the front porch, but the trail turns cold there because the governess attempted to go out into the snow after her and obliterated the trail.”
Nate
“Stupid woman. I should have fired her the first time Victoria disappeared.” Mr Gould’s hands fisted at his sides.
“Enough of that. Fire her if you must. Later, but right now we need to find your daughter.” Nate gripped the man’s elbow harder in warning. If this was going to turn to violence again, Nate wasn’t going to be as kind this time. When the man had struck Amanda, Nate had seen red. He about lost his mind, and his body went into motion before his mind could even catch up. It had surprised him how weak Mr. Gould had been to his wrestling, as the man was a couple inches taller than Nate. It was easy to suppose that the strength Nate had gained from working the ranch all these years had been a strength the other man hadn’t had.
Mr. Gould winced at the sudden squeeze and the frowned and relaxed his hands.
John shook his head. “You’re saying that Victoria has a habit of going off on her own?”
A pained expression flitted across the man’s face. “I should have remarried sooner, for Victoria’s sake. She’s obsessed with having a mother, and often goes off saying she’s going to look for one.”
John frowned and turned toward Amanda. “And the governess is sure that little Victoria went outside?”
Amanda shrugged and shook her head. “She was asleep, so she doesn’t know for certain, but the child’s coat is missing and her shoes. And I saw the tracks myself on the front porch.”
That was all Mr. Gould needed to hear before he yanked his elbow from Nate’s grasp and headed for the door. He was running out into the snow without his boots, in just his socks. “Victoria!”
John and Amanda followed him to the door. Amanda grabbed a hold of her father’s arm. “Someone needs to stop him. He’s going to make it impossible to find a trail if there’s anything left.”
John began to step out, but Nate rested a hand on his shoulder as he pulled on his boots. “I’ll do it.”
The man was beside himself with hysteria. He threw snow in all directions as he dug a path off the porch with his bare hands. The light outside still had that silvery glow that came with a snowstorm, but at least no new flakes were falling from the sky. There had been about two feet of snow here, but Nate couldn’t help but wonder if the other side of the town might have gotten even more. He shook himself from his distraction and grabbed the man by his arm again. This time, Mr. Gould had been ready, and he swung a fist hard toward Nate’s face. Nate’s reflexes were probably better than an average man’s considering he worked with cattle and horses on his ranch and they often swung their heads or even thrown kicks his direction. So, Nate was able to keep his face from bearing the blow intended for it, but not able to dodge it entirely. Mr. Gould landed a glancing blow against Nate’s shoulder. In retaliation, Nate swung a kick to the back of the man’s knees and landed him flat on his back in the snow. Nate still held the man’s arm up.
“Now, look here!” the man yelled from his prone position.
“No, sir. You, look here.” Nate had had more than enough of this man. “If your daughter is out here in the snow, you’re not helping things any more than your governess did. You’re marring the trail further, making it impossible for us to follow a trail to your daughter. Now calm yourself down and think rationally, sir. It’s the only way we’re going to be able to find her.”
He huffed, but stilled, and Nate yanked on the arm he still held and helped the man back to his feet.
Mr. Gould dusted the snow from his back side. Nate helped brush some off the man’s shoulder. Mr. Gould frowned. “But Miss Amanda said that she’d gone outside.”
Amanda raised her voice from the porch. “Not exactly! I said that it was a good possibility, but not necessarily. Nate is right. We should check the house thoroughly first before we go rushing headlong into the snow.”
For the first time, true sorrow reached the man’s eyes. “But if she is out here, we can’t waste any time. We need to start searching out here now before she’s... she’s... hurt.”
Nate’s heart constricted in his chest. If it had been him... If this was Emma, he’d need to search outside, as well.
John nodded and grabbed Nate’s and Mr. Gould’s coats from the coat rack. “He’s right. Amanda, you and the governess search the house. Nate, Kurt, and I will try to see what we can do about finding a trail out here.”
Nate took his coat and shoved his arms into the sleeves. At least now they had a plan.
Chapter 10
Amanda
After closing the door behind her, Amanda shivered. It wasn’t just the wind and cold from outside, because the warmth of the house embraced her the moment she stepped back inside. It was the whole situation. She’d never seen a man quite so emotional before. Mr. Gould’s emotions seemed to swing passionately from one feeling to the next, and just being around him was enough that Amanda nearly felt she’d been riding a bucking bronco. She took a deep breath to get a hold of her own feelings and then headed back toward the kitchen.
Miss Garnet had made two cups of tea and had sat back down. She was nursing the cup in her hands, her body still shaking and her eyes wide and full of shoc
k. Amanda sat in the chair across from the woman. “The men are searching for Victoria out in the snow. We need to search the house.”
The governess set down her tea and it sloshed up over her finger. She wrenched her finger to her lips. “But there was a trail outside. I saw it.”
Amanda nodded and rested a hand on the governess’s. “Yes, but it’s also possible that Victoria realized the snow was too heavy and turned back into the house. It’s possible she back tracked.”
Deep wrinkles etched themselves in the woman’s brow. “This is the fourth time this has happened. Victoria is prone to running off. I should have known better. I shouldn’t have slept so soundly. Mr. Gould only knows about the first time, I’d found Victoria the other two times, so I didn’t have to tell him. He’s right to be mad at me. I deserved to be struck.”
“No,” Amanda said, blinking hard and shaking her head. “No one deserves to be struck like that. It’s not your fault.”
“It is. It’s neglect, pure and simple. Her father works all the time and rarely sees Victoria. She’s my responsibility. I neglected my duty by falling asleep.”
This was crazy. “Everyone needs sleep. If anyone is neglecting her, it’s her father. It’s possible that if Victoria saw more of him, she wouldn’t feel the need to run off and try to find a mother.”
The governess shook her head but didn’t speak again. Instead, she put the tea to her lips and pulled another sip.
Then a cat mewed.
No, that couldn’t be right. Amanda didn’t have a cat. She held a finger to her lips, straining her ear to hear the noise again.
Then the mew came once more. From the pantry.
Amanda leapt to her feet and yanked open the pantry door. The root cellar door was open. Amanda always made sure to close it. Something was wrong. She lit a lantern quickly and stepped toward the stairwell. The mewing grew louder and more desperate, and now Amanda was certain. The sound didn’t come from a cat. “Victoria?”