Vow of Devotion (Vow Series Book 4)

by Emma Renshaw

  I give his hand two firm shakes and him a closed-lipped smile. “Hudson.”

  “Maddox won’t be able to do anything due to conflict of interest, but we’ll take good care of this and get you back to work as quickly as possible. This man,” he indicates the body, “has a list of enemies a mile long.”

  “It doesn’t look like it happened here. This is just the burial site,” Maddox interjects.

  I nod. I thought the same thing. There’s no pool of blood around him. He was just underneath the dirt, barely hidden.

  “Have you called Dad?” Maddox asks.

  I shake my head. That’s a conversation I don’t want to have with him or any of my other brothers.

  Jimmy and Callan have been silently standing by my side since the cops arrived. Jimmy’s almost green. Callan is still fixated on the body that is becoming more and more uncovered.

  The sound of an approaching car makes my head turn. Another crime scene unit and a coroner’s van are pulling up to join the party.

  “How long will I be closed down?”

  Maddox shakes his head. “There’s no way to tell. It could be quick or it could drag on.”

  I rest my hand on Callan’s shoulder. His concentration breaks and he stares at me. Turmoil is swimming in his eyes. This must be a bleak reminder of his past life, the life he just escaped from. He’s only just landed on his feet, and now life is dragging him back down to the pits of hell.

  “Can you gather everyone?” I ask.

  He takes off toward the house, Jimmy following behind him. I blow out a breath. I need to make the phone call I’m dreading before the questioning starts. If Dad hears about this from anyone but me, he’ll never forgive me.

  I step away from Maddox and Forest, looking out over the horizon. The phone rings twice before Dad picks up the line. “How’s the second block coming along? I’d like to be there for one of them. I’m proud of you, son. I really think this community is going to be great.”

  A vise squeezes my chest, making it impossible to breathe. I can hear his smile over the phone, a smile that hardly ever fades. I’m about to crush that smile into smithereens.

  “There’s a problem.”

  Chapter 27

  Ava

  My mind has been on Hudson since our phone call at lunch. We talk every single day at lunchtime. Those few minutes with his voice always make me happy, but today he sounded distant.

  He assured me he’d tell me later, but it’s made the day drag by. Doubt and worry have filled my belly. There hasn’t been another lead on the cocaine, but the theft has stopped and the development is otherwise progressing on time. Things are finally looking up, but given today’s conversation, something must’ve taken a turn.

  My math lesson is interrupted by the assistant principal, Mrs. Newton. She stands in the back of the room, waving to catch my attention. I write three math problems on the board.

  “Work on solving these silently, please,” I say, walking to the back of the classroom. “Mrs. Newton?”

  “Lilly was brought to the principal’s office just a few minute ago. Mrs. Pritchett sent me to come and get you. I’ll watch your class while you go down there.”

  Panic claws its way up my throat. “Is she okay?”

  “Yes, she’s fine. She was sent for her behavior.”

  I reel back, shocked. “Her behavior?”

  Lilly is a model student. She’s never disrupted a class before, even in daycare. This has to be some sort of mistake or misunderstanding. I don’t waste another second wondering though—I haul ass down the hall and straight into Mrs. Pritchett’s office without knocking.

  Lilly is sitting in one of the chairs. Wetness coats the front of her pale blue shirt around the neck. I drop to my knees as her chin quivers. Splotchy red spots are popping up on her cheeks and neck.

  My eyes move to the chair next to Lilly’s. Jaclyn, Lilly’s first friend, is in about the same shape as Lilly tearstains down her red cheeks and all.

  “Are you girls okay?”

  “She started it!” Lilly yells. My gaze moves back to hers as my eyebrows climb up my forehead. I turn toward Mrs. Pritchett. She’s sitting at her desk with steepled hands, watching the three of us in front of her.

  “What happened?” I ask Mrs. Pritchett.

  Lilly starts to yell again. “Jaclyn was being mean—”

  “Lilly,” I cut her off. A new wave of tears spills down her cheeks.

  “The girls got into a verbal and physical argument in the classroom.”

  “What?” I stand to face Mrs. Pritchett, my hand on the back of Lilly’s chair.

  “They started to yell at each other. Before Ms. Hemphill could calm them down, the girls started to shove each other.”

  I stare down at Lilly, not recognizing a word coming from Mrs. Pritchett’s lips. This is so far removed from Lilly’s normal behavior.

  “I’m about to phone Jaclyn’s mom, but I thought I would give you the opportunity to talk to Lilly and figure out the story. Both girls are to remain in the office for the rest of the day but will be able to return to class tomorrow.”

  I nod woodenly, holding out my hand for Lilly. She grabs it and I drag her into the hall behind me. I release a slow breath, tapping the space between my eyebrows to calm the fury.

  That type of behavior is unacceptable.

  “Lilly, what were you thinking?”

  “She started it.” Her hand props on her hip. I’ve never seen this display of attitude or heard this tone of voice from her before.

  “What happened?” I try to speak softly so we don’t disturb any other classrooms or offices.

  Lilly bursts into tears, her entire body shaking from the sobs. “I don’t know where to keep my stuff,” she yells.

  “What?”

  “Jaclyn made me a friendship bracelet. It’s in my room at our house. I didn’t have it at Hudson’s house and she’s mad at me for not wearing it. I pinky promised I would wear it every day.”

  Every bit of fury slides away, guilt seeping into its place.

  “I don’t know where to keep my toys,” Lilly repeats, wiping her eye with a fist.

  “At home,” I say, lowering to my knees to look her in the eye. “All of your things belong at home.”

  “Is home our house or Hudson’s house?”

  “Ours, sweetie.”

  “I like my room at Hudson’s house better.”

  My heart rips apart. I can’t give her that type of room, but I’ve made it worse by giving her two rooms. “We don’t live there, honey.”

  “Then why do I bring stuff there sometimes?”

  I sigh. “Sometimes we have sleepovers there, but we don’t live there.”

  “Why?”

  Because Mommy and her boyfriend haven’t dropped the l-bomb yet. “We have our own home.”

  Lilly shakes her head, still wiping her eyes. “We left home.”

  I hang my head. I knew she was having trouble with the move. I was even waiting for a breakdown, and yet, I got so wrapped up in Hudson that I forgot. Of course she’s confused by sleeping in two different places. And I’ve been oblivious to her stress. “We have a new home.”

  “I don’t like it,” Lilly grumbles. “I like my room at Hudson’s. I want to leave all my stuff there.”

  “It doesn’t work like that, honey. We need to stay at our home. Do you understand?”

  After a moment, Lilly nods. My shoulders fall. I told her the truth. We do need to stay at our home. Lilly needs consistency. I walk her back into the office, where she’ll spend the rest of the day.

  When she sits in the chair, she turns to Jaclyn. “I’m sorry.”

  “Me, too,” Jaclyn says, wiping a tear from her cheek.

  If only everything were as easily solved as little girls’ friendships.

  When the longest school day ever finally ends, I pick Lilly up from the office and load her up in the car. I want to take my time driving to Hudson’s. Dread sits in my stomach like a lead anch
or. I’m not ready to have this conversation with him. I’m not sure how he’ll react when I tell him we have to pull back, but it needs to happen. It’s too confusing for Lilly. I can’t put her through this.

  The problem is, Lilly wants to be at Hudson’s. She loves her room there and feels at home. It’s our apartment that she doesn’t like. I can’t exactly tell Hudson that we’re moving in though. He hasn’t asked or hinted about us staying there long-term. He never minces his words and assures me he loves having us there, but staying for a night or two is different than moving in.

  When I want red lights, I hit every single green light. His truck is in the driveway, parked off to the side, leaving his garage clear for me. Even though his truck is here, there aren’t any lights on in the house. From the outside, the house feels like it has a shroud over it.

  Lilly and I enter through the back door. It’s silent inside.

  “Hudson?” My voice echoes off the walls and there’s no answer. My hand clasps tighter around Lilly’s as we walk through the kitchen to the living room. I freeze when I see Hudson sitting on his couch in front of a dark TV.

  There’s a tumbler of amber liquid clutched in his hand. There are also two beer bottles on the table in front of him.

  “Hudson,” I say quieter than a moment ago. His body jolts and he turns around. Deep creases mar his usually smooth forehead and his mouth is pinched and turned down at the sides.

  “You’re early.” He sets the tumbler on the table and rises to his feet. He walks quickly around the couch and envelops me in his arms. I keep Lilly’s hand in mine but use my other arm to hold him close. He takes one arm away and brings Lilly into our hug.

  Normally, this would warm my heart, but today it’s only making me more anxious for the impending conversation. Seeing him like this reminds me he didn’t have a good day either.

  Hudson’s lips are next to my ear. “I needed this,” he says on a sigh, pressing me tighter to his hard body. My hand makes a fist in the back of his shirt, unwilling to let go of him for even a second.

  “What’s happening?” I whisper.

  Hudson leans back, looking into my eyes. He glances down at Lilly. “Later.”

  I nod in agreement. Whatever we both need to say, it needs to happen later. Hudson’s lips crash down on mine in a hard kiss. I can feel emotion spilling from him and his desperation to take this further, but we can’t right now.

  He breaks the kiss, panting, his hand moving into my hair. “Ava,” he whispers closing his eyes. “I’ve needed this all day. You and Lilly here with me.”

  “I’ve needed it, too,” I confess.

  Hudson plants another quick kiss on my lips before taking a step back. He plasters a smile on his face and claps his hands together. “Do you want a snack, blueberry?”

  “Yes, please,” she says and takes a step toward Hudson, wrapping her arms around his waist. Her mood improved as soon as Hudson pulled her into a hug, but she needs one home, not an overnight bag being carted back and forth to her mom’s boyfriend’s house. “You look like you need a hug.”

  Hudson scoops her up in his arms and hugs her tight to his chest. “You’re right, I did need a hug.”

  “Are you okay?” she asks softly. “I had a bad day.

  “I am now. I just needed you and your mom here. What happened?”

  “Later,” I say.

  Lilly shrugs before asking her next question. “Do you have Cheez-Its? Cheez-Its make me feel better.”

  Hudson’s smile turns genuine. “What kind of house would this be if it didn’t have Cheez-Its?”

  Lilly shakes her head, her mouth in a pout. “Not a very good one.”

  Hudson and I laugh, locking eyes and sharing in the delight of Lilly. The anxiety that’s been clawing its way up my throat eases some.

  Hudson bends, placing Lilly on her feet, and goes into the kitchen to fix a snack for her. He turns before he reaches the pantry. “Do you want anything?”

  I shake my head. “I’m okay right now.”

  He nods. “We’ll have to go somewhere for dinner.”

  “Can I cook?” I ask. “I’d like to make us something here. I’ll run to the store if you watch Lilly.”

  “I can go to the store for you.”

  “I love that you’re willing, but it would be a lot faster if I went.” And it would give me more time to pull myself together, a cowardly voice in my head points out.

  “Okay,” he agrees. “I’ll stay with Lilly. You’re taking my card though.”

  I give him a noncommittal shrug. I can pay for groceries for dinner, but I also don’t want to argue with him right now. It’s obvious neither of us can take it today.

  “What are you going to make?”

  “It’s a surprise,” I answer, forcing a grin. I’m going to make my favorite comfort foods. All three of us are in dire need of some comfort tonight.

  I leave the grocery store with all the fixings for a good old-fashioned Southern dinner. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and a salad mix, just to add some health factor. I even picked up an apple pie.

  A pie from scratch would be ideal, but there’s no time for that tonight. The one from the bakery will do though.

  I turn onto Hudson’s street and gasp. There are flashing lights in front of his house and an armada of cop cars. My eyes scan the lights for an ambulance, my mind immediately going to Lilly. I press on the gas before slamming on the brakes and coming to a screeching halt in front of his house.

  I jump out of the car and race across the front lawn, which is teeming with people. I can’t breathe. Where is she? I finally spot her blond hair. Her hands are on her face and her body is racked with sobs. Hudson’s brother Maddox is standing next to her with his arm around her.

  I rush to her side, dropping to my knees. “Lilly.” I run my hands over her frame. She collapses into me, her face hiding in my neck. “Lilly. Are you okay?”

  She cries harder and sobs. “Hu-Hu-Hudson.”

  I look up at Maddox. “Where’s Hudson? Is he okay? What’s happening?”

  Maddox swallows and nods toward the area behind me. I turn my head while still holding Lilly. Hudson’s eyes are on me, but his hands are cuffed behind his back. An officer is escorting him into a police car.

  Maddox’s voice sounds like it’s coming from underwater. It’s white noise in my ears as I watch the man I’ve fallen in love with sink into a police car.

  “—murdered man. The gun they found is registered to Hudson.”

  My brow furrows. What is Maddox saying? Gun? Murdered man?

  Hudson shakes his head, mouthing something at me. He has to repeat it twice before I finally understand.

  I’m sorry.

  Chapter 28

  Ava

  “I know, sweetie,” I whisper to Lilly. She’s still crying, but not as hard. She’s too terrified to tell me what happened, but I will get it out of Maddox.

  He’s hovering in the kitchen, waiting for me to settle Lilly so we can talk. He almost left with the rest of the officers but I demanded that he stay and talk to me.

  When the police car with Hudson in the back took off from the house, my mind froze, gawking at the empty driveway and police officers strolling in and out of the house with cardboard boxes of “evidence” they found during their search. When my brain started working again, overwhelming fear set in. Now the sharp edges of panic are cutting up my insides and clawing up my throat. Panic and fear I have to push aside, so I don’t make things worse for Lilly.

  My nose is burning with the threat of tears, but I can’t cry yet. If I cry, Lilly will cry more and become more upset.

  How do I explain that Mommy’s boyfriend was arrested? Arrested for something he didn’t do?

  The only thing she knows about police officers is they take the bad guys away. When she asked me if Hudson was in trouble and if he’d done something bad, I didn’t know what to say.

  For many reasons.

  One, I have no fucking clue wh
at is happening. Hudson had a bad day, but I don’t know why he had a bad day. I can’t believe he would do something like this. He couldn’t have hidden his true self from me all this time.

  Two, I don’t know how to explain that sometimes mistakes happen and good people are arrested. That would terrify her.

  Three, she loves Hudson. She’s worried about him and wants him to come back. We both want him to come back. I just don’t know if that’s what’s best for us.

  Four, I have no fucking clue what the hell is happening.

  When Lilly is finally settled enough, I turn on the TV and find something appropriate for her to watch. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. I’m going to talk to Maddox and then we’re going home. Okay?”

  She sniffles, wipes her nose, and nods her head. She falls back into the couch and zones out, facing the TV. I’m sure the emotional turmoil she’s feeling is making her tired.

  My eyes fall shut and I count to ten, centering myself, before walking into the kitchen to confront Maddox. He’s standing by the kitchen windows with his hands in his pockets. I can feel the tension radiating off of him, making the large room feel tiny and me nauseous for what I’m about to learn. The unknown terrifies me. What I’m about to find out about a man I’m falling in love with terrifies me.

  “Maddox.” He turns and watches my approach. I step close to him so Lilly won’t be able to hear our conversation. “What the hell is going on?”

  “What has he told you?”

  “Obviously nothing. I go to the store to get dinner and I come home to my daughter falling apart on the front lawn and my boyfriend being arrested.”

  “You know nothing about today.”

  I huff. My hands curl into fists at my sides. “He called me during my lunch break and he sounded upset, but he said we would talk later. It was the same when Lilly and I arrived here this afternoon. He was visibly upset, but Lilly was with us.”

  Maddox shakes his head and turns his face to the window. “Fuck. This should be him explaining.”