They resumed walking, and Judit cleared her throat, an embarrassed little sound. “When you stopped talking during the trip, I thought you might be upset with me.”
“Why?”
“Well…” She waved a hand as if to indicate the whole galaxy.
“Judit, none of us asked for this. It’s the houses. And once I started thinking about it, it all seemed a long time coming.”
Judit nodded.
“Do you ever think about…running away?”
Judit barked a laugh. “Sure.”
But Annika knew she was joking. Judit would no more abandon her duty than she’d abandon breathing.
Annika looked back, but no one was in sight. Others from the Damat had been wandering down to the water, but no one seemed inclined to come around the corner. Maybe they knew better than to follow so hard on the heels of their captain. Annika led Judit a little farther down the beach and away from the water’s edge, into the shade of the trees. Judit had a quizzical look, a little smile that said she was anticipating a secret conversation, but talking was the last thing on Annika’s mind.
In the light of the golden rings arcing across the sky above them and the twin suns now hidden by the tree line, Annika kissed Judit gently. Judit deepened the kiss, their lips sliding across each other, but as their mouths opened, Judit pulled away. “Maybe we shouldn’t.”
Irritation flashed through Annika, but she told herself she wouldn’t push. She would lay out the facts, though. “We’re on a deserted beach on the most beautiful planet within several systems. For a little while, we can just be…us. And I need to forget, even if it’s only for a few moments.”
Judit paused as if considering. “You’re right.” She came back in for another kiss, one hand reaching around Annika’s waist and the other cupping her jaw, fingers gliding through her hair. Annika kissed her back as passionately and pulled her closer, grabbing her waist. When Judit made a hungry little sound and slipped her tongue into Annika’s mouth, Annika let her hands wander to the front of Judit’s uniform jacket, unfastening it hurriedly.
Judit spent a few fumbling moments helping before she seemed to remember that Annika was wearing clothes, too. As her arms came free, she reached for Annika again. Annika stilled, letting Judit undress her, enjoying the kisses and caresses and straying hands. When Judit buried her head between Annika’s breasts for several seconds, kissing and licking, Annika chuckled delightedly before lifting Judit’s head, kissing her again, and continuing to shuck both sets of clothes.
When they tumbled to the sand, Annika endeavored to keep them on top of their clothing but quickly gave up, letting them roll wherever they needed. Judit was a ball of energy that had been repressed too long, and Annika’s mind whirled from every hurried caress, every kiss from a mouth that moved like a drowning woman seeking air. She’d never been so thoroughly explored, so enjoyed in all her life by someone who clearly wanted her to enjoy it as much. Judit responded to every moan or cry of yes, applying more pressure or a deeper kiss or a steady pace with fingers or tongue.
Finally, though, when Annika bit her lip through a second orgasm, Judit’s energy seemed to flag. Though Annika felt drained, hunger still gnawed inside her, and she turned her attention to Judit’s tall, muscular form.
Judit received pleasure more hesitantly than she gave it, occasionally twisting her hips away or trying to coax Annika back to her mouth. Annika did as Judit bid, having to kiss slowly and touch languidly. It would have been teasing to anyone else, but to someone shy with her body, it helped put Judit at ease, get her used to the touching until she went to a place where she could receive pleasure openly. Then Annika gave and gave until Judit sagged as if she could receive no more.
They lay together, breathing hard and staring at the sky, their forearms and fingers touching but nothing else, as if there were too many raw nerves between them for further contact.
“I love you,” Judit said softly. “I have for a long time.”
“I knew,” Annika said. “Because I’ve loved you just as long.”
In that moment, the secrets between them didn’t seem to matter, though they would someday, Annika was sure. For now, though, she stilled and enjoyed herself.
They turned to look at one another as day finally gave way to twilight, and Judit’s dark eyes picked up the gold of the rings overhead. “Things never turn out this way in stories.”
“No,” Annika said as she scooted closer so their lips could brush together. “The lovers often run off together.”
Judit frowned. “You were serious before, weren’t you? When you asked if we could run?”
“I don’t understand why the fate of the galaxy has to rest on our shoulders.”
Judit turned to look at the sky before she shrugged. “It has to rest somewhere.”
Annika supposed that was just a difference between them. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll go wherever you lead.”
“My own personal guardian? I could get used to that.”
Annika pushed up on her elbow to give Judit another kiss.
“It’s going to be dark soon,” Judit said.
“So? Let it be dark.”
“You want to sleep…outside?”
So very Meridian. They were always about the technology and gadgets and implants. Nocturna had always embraced the natural, even if they then used it to kill people.
“Come on.” She stood and helped Judit scoop up their clothing but stopped Judit from putting it back on.
The skepticism was plain on Judit’s face even in the fading light. “I’m close to my crew, but we don’t usually wander around naked.”
“We’re not going back yet.” She headed for the nearest cabana. Just a little farther down the beach, and they would have found it before they’d made love, but that would have meant a few more minutes of waiting, and Annika didn’t think she could have done that.
When they climbed into the cabana, Judit sighed in relief, and Annika nearly laughed at her. Judit quickly found the controls, and thin panes of glassteel closed around them, darkening slightly. Now no one could see in, but they could still see out. Soft lights came on, just enough to see by.
Annika wrapped her arms around Judit’s sandy shoulders. “It’s a shame we don’t have a shower.”
Judit grinned. “Ah, but you only have to wish…” With another touch of a control, waterproof covers slid over the long deck chairs, and a gentle rain fell from the ceiling.
With a laugh, Annika turned her face upward and let the sand wash away. Technology did have its uses, after all. After they showered and ate some of the provisions stored in the cabana’s cooling unit, they pushed the comfortable deck chairs together and slept under the stars.
Annika woke with the dawn, and thoughts of her mother bloomed in her brain until Judit’s touch grazed her shoulder, and their evening together took center stage in her mind again. They made love, sleepily, slowly, and Annika wondered if their whole life could be this way. Surely no one on the Damat would argue if they stayed on Xeni, if they all spent their days and nights eating and sleeping and having sex in the sand.
At least until someone found them.
As if on cue, Annika felt the vibration in Judit’s jaw as someone pinged her comm.
“Perfect timing,” Judit muttered. She paused for several seconds. “Bea has some news.”
Annika sighed as she began to dress in her sandy clothes. They’d shaken them out, but the cabana wasn’t equipped for washing clothing. At least the sand was a wonderful reminder of what had passed between them.
Annika’s steps dragged as they went back to the Damat, and her thoughts turned again to her mother and the kidnapping. If Nocturna was behind the kidnapping—and she still thought that likely—that meant they were working with her mother again. Unlikely. Though if Ama could use someone, she wouldn’t pass up that chance over a silly thing like bad blood. She’d pretended to put the past with Meridian behind her, after all. She’d play nice until she had her cha
nce to strike. Annika’s mother had to know that, had to expect it.
Everyone on the Damat looked a little disheveled and sweaty, as if they’d only started to enjoy themselves when Beatrice recalled them. “Xeni isn’t as good a hiding place as we thought, Jude,” Beatrice said as both Annika and Judit reached the bridge. Judit hadn’t wanted to stop long enough to change, and Annika knew that even with the shower, they had to look a mess. They probably smelled like sand and sex, too. But everyone on the bridge seemed too tactful to notice.
“We need to lay some other false trails,” Roberts said. Not a strand of his dark hair was out of place. Like Beatrice, he probably hadn’t left the Damat, but by the intense way he stared at his station, Annika bet he never took many breaks. “Some of these signals I’m getting are pretty close to us.”
“Let me call home,” Annika said.
When they turned to stare, she didn’t know what to say, didn’t even know why she’d said anything. Ama wouldn’t admit anything that mattered over a long-range transmission, but Annika needed to hear from her, needed to say a few things, even if she made matters worse.
Roberts rubbed his chin. “It’ll take a while to set up a direct transmission, and we’ll need to be close to a gate to do it. There are a few stars I could bounce the signal off of, some relays I could put it through. We could look as if we’re in several places at once, but you might have to keep it short, and there would be a delay.”
Annika nodded. “I’ll talk in code. She’ll be expecting that.”
“Yep,” he said. “And we can keep on the move and keep bouncing the signal around, but there’s no way to hide forever.” He turned to Judit. “It might buy us some time.”
Judit looked at Annika with an expression made of worry and sympathy. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
Annika nodded, but though they’d recently been so close, she felt worlds coming between them again. Sex couldn’t silence the secrets for long. And talking with her grandmother might let her ultimate secret out, but she didn’t think so, not where the whole galaxy could hear.
But she still needed to hear Ama’s voice.
“In my office,” Judit said. They walked together, and when Annika took Judit’s hand, she didn’t pull away, even when her crew might see. Annika was tempted to kiss her, but thought that might be flying too far in the face of decorum.
Once they were behind closed doors, Judit gave her a quick kiss. “I’ll be outside if you need me.”
Annika caught her arm. “I want you here.” Everything inside her cried out that she was making a mistake. Her secret was too great, but maybe she wanted it out in the open, before they got any closer, but what was closer than love? “You…might pick up on something I miss.”
“I doubt that,” Judit said with a fond smile, a look that said she was touched. “I won’t be able to understand your code, but I’ll stay.”
The Damat lifted from Xeni, and Annika regretted she wasn’t looking at a screen and watching the planet go, but maybe this was better. If she didn’t have to watch it retreat into the distance, she could remember it as a canopy of stars overhead and soft sand beneath her naked body.
It didn’t take long to get to the closest transmission gate, and then they were on the clock. There was only so long they could stay close to it before someone discovered them. Judit stood against the wall where the holo of Ama wouldn’t see her.
“Roberts says everything is ready.”
Annika took a deep breath, provided the right codes to get their transmission into the hands of her grandmother, and it was only a few minutes before the console winked to life. A holo of Ama’s face appeared above it. “Who has you?” Ama asked.
No hello, no asking if she was all right, but had she really expected that? “What makes you think anyone does?” she said in the same coded language Ama was using.
There was a bit of a delay, the words fed from gate to gate, winging through the stars. “Well, you haven’t found your way back.” And Ama wouldn’t care if Annika told the galaxy who had kidnapped her.
“I’m not dead, either, if that’s what you were planning.”
Ama’s head tilted. “The whole galaxy knows your guardian was brainwashed, probably by a so-called ally of our house that is now part of this coup. Come back now, see the marriage done, and we can start repairing this rift.”
She took another breath. “And my mother?”
Ama didn’t so much as twitch. “Your mother is in exile.”
But even if they were face-to-face and light-years from everyone else, she still might not admit anything. “Ama…” What could she say? Why had she called at all?
“Time is running out, Annika. The lesser houses are attacking major holdings. If marrying into Meridian is no longer an option for peace, I will think of something else. It could be that the lesser houses will destroy Meridian, and then, well, the universe is wide.”
A little sniping about Meridian. Anyone who deciphered their code would expect that. As for finding something else for her to do, it could be leading Nocturna, or if Ama thought she was too rebellious, another heir would be found amongst her cousins. And then her new assignment could be “corpse.”
Judit held up a hand. If she stayed on much longer, the signal might be tracked to their real location rather than serving as a decoy.
“They can be spared,” her grandmother said. “Both of them. If you come back now. Lose any more time, and they will not be so fortunate.”
“Good-bye, Ama.” She gestured toward Judit.
The transmission cut out, and Judit stepped forward. “Anything?”
Annika considered her grandmother’s words. She wasn’t a woman to make empty threats, and Annika saw through the offer to spare Judit and Noal. Ama was saying that if Annika didn’t come home, she’d kill Judit and Noal to get to Annika. She’d kill them anyway if she got her hands on them. Maybe Annika was supposed to believe that if she went home, Ama wouldn’t bother looking for them at all. She might have believed that if Ama were anyone else.
“She threatened you,” Annika said. “To get me to come back.”
“Annika, no!”
“Don’t worry. I thought about it for half a second. But she can’t hurt you if she can’t get to you, and I’m not letting her lead me anymore.” She held her hands out, and Judit took them. “I don’t even know why I called her. I asked about my mom.”
“What did she say?”
Annika shook her head, feeling sadder by the instant. “My mother left on her own, but Ama told everyone she was exiled. I thought she wanted to take me with her, but Ama said she was using me as a distraction.”
Judit kissed her gently. “Maybe she had you kidnapped to save you?”
“From marriage to Noal?” Annika asked with a little smile.
“From house politics.”
“She could have asked me if that was the case.” Her chest ached a little at the thought.
“Not if she couldn’t get to you. This might be the only way she could think of to talk to you.” Judit shook her head. “Though if that was true, why didn’t she wait on that ship for you to wake up?”
“Maybe she feared what I would do to her,” Annika muttered.
Judit’s expression turned skeptical. “You wouldn’t hurt your own mother.”
Meridian thinking again, but Annika found she couldn’t argue. Even with her irritation, she loved Judit in that moment. Hot on the heels of that, though, she felt the weight of secrets again. She wondered if that feeling would ever go away when they had their clothes on.
“What now?” Annika asked. “Where do we go next? Or are we going to become houseless pirates?”
Judit’s eyes widened. “We couldn’t!”
“It’s a joke, Judit. Even if we never go home again, I’m invested in figuring this out now.”
Judit’s arms dropped from around Annika’s waist, and she stepped back, leaning on her desk, her face stricken. “We can’t go home again? You rea
lly think that?”
Annika’s heart went out to her even as she fought the frustration that was always bubbling around Meridians. “Well, maybe you can go back, but not me. I don’t want to be part of anyone’s schemes anymore.” She lifted a hand before Judit could speak. “And please don’t try to tell me your house doesn’t scheme.”
“I’ll leave that argument to Noal.”
Annika stepped close and lowered her voice. “He can’t be as naive as he sounds, can he?”
“He hates secrets, that’s all.”
“When his house was keeping the biggest one. The identity of the real chosen one.”
“That was hard for all of us.”
“You’re not pleased?” Annika asked with a little smile.
“If it means we get to be together…” She stared with love in her eyes.
They kissed again, the secrets of their houses slipping but never forgotten. As their kiss deepened, Annika was never so happy to have her house far away, nearly on the other side of the galaxy, where its plots couldn’t touch them.
For the moment.
Chapter Ten
Judit lost herself in the deep kiss just as her office door chimed.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Annika said.
Judit chuckled. “We should be used to getting interrupted by now.”
“A woman can dream of a brighter future.” As Annika turned away, a look of pain crossed her face. Her mother couldn’t be far from her mind, no matter what she said, no matter what else happened. It would have consumed Judit, though she’d been happy to distract Annika for a little while.
“Come in,” Judit called.
The door slid open, and Elidia stepped inside, a wry smile on her face. She’d changed out of the stationmaster’s uniform and into a more comfortable-looking pair of slacks and a long-sleeved shirt that hung nearly to her knees. Judit wondered who she’d borrowed them from.
Elidia looked from one of them to the other. “Did you forget about me?”
“No, we haven’t…had time,” Judit said, not wanting to admit that lovemaking had taken priority. “I see you’re wandering around on your own.”
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