by Marie Force
Ugh, people suck sometimes, don’t they?
You asked about what happened when I got the call from Be the Match, and I never answered your question. They asked me to come to some information sessions about what was involved with donating. I’ll admit I was scared it would hurt, and they made me feel more confident about it. My parents freaked out when I told them what I was going to do, but my Nona was really great and convinced them to trust my judgment as a nurse. They came to one of the info sessions with me, and they felt better about it after they knew more. It was all fine. No big deal in light of what it meant for you and Everly.
Well, I’d better get back to work. Have a great game! I’m going to say something I’ve never said for any team other than the Marlins: Go O’s!
Love,
Maria
I force myself to concentrate on work during a busy afternoon. After work, I’m meeting Carmen for a final fitting for my bridesmaid dress. Dee and I are her maids of honor and their friend Betty, who played a big role the day they met, is the only other attendant. In our family, it’s hard to limit anything to just “a few” people, so she decided to have only the two of us and one special friend so she wouldn’t end up with twelve bridesmaids.
When I leave work, I’m rather proud of myself to realize I went three whole hours without checking my phone. Before I start my car, I check it and find a new message from Austin. Just seeing his name on my list of messages makes my whole system go batshit crazy.
Ugh. This is bad and getting worse by the minute, and I couldn’t care in the least that I could be setting myself up for a huge disappointment by becoming so invested in a man I’ve never actually met. What if he smells or has bad breath or is rude to waitresses or—
“Stop, Maria. Just stop.” Before I read the message from him, I close my eyes, take a deep breath and release it slowly. “Calm the hell down and stop being a crazy nutcase.”
When I’ve managed to get things somewhat under control, for the moment, anyway, I read his new message.
Hi there,
I only have a couple of minutes before I have to be on the bus to the ballpark, but I just wanted to write back to say SCOTT IS A FOOL! You’re better off without him. You know that, right? It took me a while to realize that about Kasey, but who needs someone in your life who’d do what he did to you or what she did to me? And yes, people do suck a lot of the time, but sometimes they don’t. For example, I’d never do to someone what Scott did to you or what Kasey did to me. (I’d also NEVER leave my kid at home ALONE! In case you were wondering…) After having been through that crap, we both know what it’s like to be treated that way, and it’s not something I want in my life.
As for injuries, I’ve had some stiffness in the elbow of my throwing arm. I’ve been working with the team trainers to manage it, but my arm is ready for some rest.
Thank you for telling me about how it went after Be the Match reached out to you. I have so many other questions, but I can’t ask now. Any chance you might want to FaceTime after the game? Oh, and thanks for rooting for the O’s for the first time ever. I’m honored. So FaceTime… Yes? No? Please say yes…
Love,
Austin
I write back with one word: YES!
And then I have to get my shit together so I can drive to meet Carmen at the bridal shop in Coral Gables. Traffic is its usual bitchy self, and I’m ten minutes late for our appointment. I rush into the shop to find Carmen standing on the little stage in the back of the store, wearing her wedding gown as the seamstress examines her from every angle.
It’s the first time I’ve seen it on her since the day she chose it, and I’m surprised by the huge lump that suddenly lodges in my throat.
She catches me looking at her in the mirror, her pretty face lighting up with a smile. “There you are. What do you think?”
It takes me a second to fight back the wave of emotion that comes from seeing her as a happy bride once again. “It’s absolutely perfect.”
“I’m so glad you think so. I love it even more than I did the first time I tried it on.”
The dress is a creamy off-white silk that manages to be sexy and classy at the same time, just like Carmen. Her back is almost entirely bare, and the front forms a snug V over her full breasts. It’s beaded and sleeveless and clingy. She decided to go without a train, she said, because this is her second wedding, and trains are for first-time brides.
I know how she’s grappled with guilt about remarrying after losing her first husband so tragically, but she seems to be excited and looking forward rather than backward.
“What did you decide about a veil?”
“No veil,” she says. “I’m doing a tiara that Tony’s mother gave me.”
“I like that.” Carmen is like a daughter to her first husband’s parents, who’ve been fully supportive of her in the years since they lost Tony. I loved Jason from the start, but when I heard he went to see Tony’s parents before he proposed to Carmen, he earned the eternal love of our entire family. He’s a class act.
“Josie wanted to do something, and when she offered her mother’s tiara, I was happy to accept. She’s been so amazing about everything.”
“I’m so glad about that. Imagine if she hadn’t been?”
Carmen cringes. “I can’t even think about that.” She rests her hands on her abdomen. “I get so nervous when I think about Jason seeing me in this dress.”
“He’s going to lose his shit.”
“I think you’re probably right,” she says with a giggle. “Will you take some pictures for me? I had to threaten my mom, your mom, Nona and Abuela with restraining orders to keep them from coming tonight. I want the dress to be a surprise to everyone.”
I laugh as I picture Nona and Abuela being told they couldn’t come to the dress fitting. “You made a critical error making the appointment for the one night they’re all off.” Monday is the only day they occasionally turn the restaurant over to their competent staff so they can take a break.
“Believe me, I realized that. I told them they’ll see it soon enough.”
When the seamstress is finished, I take photos from every angle while Carmen vamps for the camera. I love seeing her smiling and happy after the grim years following Tony’s tragic, senseless death. For a time, I wondered if she’d ever bounce back from that shock, but she rallied, putting herself through college and grad school, landing an awesome new job at the hospital and then falling in love with Jason. No one in this world is happier for her than I am.
“Your turn,” she says, sending me off to the changing room to put my dress on.
I love the dress she chose for us to wear. It’s dark navy silk and simple, which appeals to me. No crazy bridesmaid embellishments, just straight lines and a sexy, plunging neckline that does great things for my breasts, if I do say so myself.
“I love that on you,” Carmen says as she has every time I’ve had it on since the day we chose it. Dee is having hers altered in New York.
I step up onto the pedestal, and the seamstress goes to work with her pins.
As we leave the bridal shop twenty minutes later, Carmen hooks her arm through mine. “Let’s get a drink.”
I’d planned to go straight home to find Austin’s game on the MLB Network, but I never say no to time alone with my favorite cousin. We’re both so busy and often surrounded by family members that time to ourselves can be hard to come by.
We find a table at a sidewalk café that’s hosting happy hour and order drinks—vodka and soda for me and a gin and tonic for her. We’ll each have only one because we’re driving, so we sip them slowly to make them last. I show her the pictures I took at the shop, and she sends them to herself so she’ll have them.
“I can’t wait for the big day,” she says with a dreamy smile. “I also can’t believe Jason convinced me to pull off a wedding in three months.”
“The man can’t wait to be married to you.”
“I feel the same way. Tell me the truth
, Mari. Is it okay for me to be so crazy-happy again after losing T? Thinking about him, about how he’ll never be anything but twenty-four… It just makes me feel so sad.”
“It’s okay for you to be happy again. It’s what he’d want for you.”
“I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately, more than usual.”
“Which is only natural when you’re about to marry someone else. There was a time when the idea of a second marriage would’ve been preposterous.”
She nods. “We would’ve made it, Tony and me. We would’ve been together forever.”
“No question. I have no doubt he’s watching over you and fully supports you in everything you do. He’d love Jason.”
“I think so, too. They would’ve been friends.”
“Absolutely.”
She shakes off the grief and makes an effort to rally. I’ve seen it happen so many times, I recognize the signs by now. “So, how’s your baseball player?”
I sputter with laughter. “You’re worse than Nona and Abuela.”
“Why, thank you. I learned everything I know about prying from them.”
“Including how to be subtle.”
“Why bother being subtle when you’re dying to talk about it?”
She’s right about that. “He’s awesome. We’ve been talking nonstop since yesterday.” Has it been only since yesterday? It seems longer after six long months of waiting for the chance to have more of him.
“Really? That’s fabulous. What’ve you been talking about?”
“Life and betrayal and trauma and baseball and life in Miami. That kind of stuff.”
“Whoa, that’s some heavy business. Did you tell him about Scott?”
I nod as I stir my drink. “And he told me about his ex, Kasey, who left their baby at home alone to go out and party while he was on the road with the team.”
Carmen’s expression goes completely blank. “Are you kidding me right now?”
“Nope.”
“How did he find out?”
“Some of the other wives and girlfriends suspected she was leaving the baby alone, and they brought it to his attention—and they took video of her leaving the house without the baby. I’m not really sure of all the details, but the video was enough to convince her to give him full custody.”
“Wow. That’s horrible.”
“I know. I couldn’t believe it. Like I said to him, I assume he’s paid well to play baseball. Why didn’t she get a babysitter?”
“What did he say to that?”
“We haven’t gotten back to that topic yet. We’re going to FaceTime after his game tonight.”
“Wow! I’m so excited about this guy!”
“Don’t go all crazy. We’re just talking.” I venture a tentative glance at her. “But he’s playing here in a couple of weeks.”
“Oh my God! Are you going to see him?”
“I think so.”
“I’m dying! This is so awesome.”
“I don’t want to get ahead of myself.”
“But you like him?”
“Uh, yeah, I like him.” That may be the understatement of my entire life.
Carmen lets out a squeal that has people at other tables looking at us.
“Shut up, will you?”
“I can’t contain my excitement! Ever since you gave Scott the scumbag the boot, I’ve been wanting you to meet someone new. We all have. Imagine if something comes of this with Austin, the sexy baseball player!”
“Car, please… Don’t go there. I just… I can’t.”
She shakes her head. “I hate that Scott did this to you.”
“Did what?”
“Made you so cautious and afraid to risk anything out of fear of getting hurt again. Before him, you weren’t like that.”
“It’s not just that. It’s this whole thing… From the second I got the call about the transplant, to hearing from him for the first time, to the last two days. It’s so…”
“What?”
“Big,” I say softly. “It’s so big. Like, how can I be halfway in love with a guy I’ve never even met?”
“Would meeting him change anything about what you already know about him?”
“No, but—”
“No buts. It’s absolutely possible to connect with someone one email or text at a time. That happens all the time when people meet online. Why can’t it happen for you, too?”
She makes a good point about online dating.
Carmen leans in so I won’t miss a word. “Remember Becky, who I went to college with? She met her husband online and refused to meet him in person until her semester was over. They talked for months before they ever actually met, and by the time they finally hooked up, they both knew they wanted to be together forever. So don’t tell me it can’t happen.”
I cover my belly, which is suddenly full of butterflies flapping their wings. I can’t very well tell her that I’ve never felt a connection like I do with Austin to anyone, even Scott when things were good between us. This is so much more than that ever was. And that’s what makes me so nervous. I’m already way too invested.
Carmen checks the time on her phone. “I’d better get home. Jason was in charge of making dinner, and by now, I’m sure my kitchen is a certifiable disaster area.”
“It’s cute that he tries, though.”
“Everything about him is cute, except for the horrific mess he makes when he cooks. That is not cute.”
She insists on paying for our drinks, and we part company with a hug on the sidewalk.
“I’m here if you need to talk about any of this, and I promise not to get ahead of where you are with him.”
“Thank you.”
“For what it’s worth, though, I think it’s okay to be a little bit excited about this guy.”
“I’ll take that under advisement.”
Laughing, she waves as she walks away. I head toward my car, thinking about what she said about her friend Becky and how she fell in love with her husband before she ever met him in person. Knowing that’s possible doesn’t do much to calm the butterflies in my belly.
Chapter 5
MARIA
When I get home, the first thing I do is flip on the TV and find Austin’s game. I keep half an eye on the game, which the O’s are leading two to nothing in the third, as I make pasta and pour a glass of wine. I bring dinner to the sofa for a better view of the game. I’ve finished my dinner and most of the wine when the camera finds Austin in the dugout, watching the action on the field as the Tigers bring in a relief pitcher.
“All eyes are on Austin Jacobs as this season comes to a close and he enters the free agency market,” the broadcaster says. “He came back strong this year after losing most of last season while his daughter battled leukemia. She’s in remission and doing well now, thank goodness. What do you think, Tom? Is there any chance he stays with the O’s after this season?”
“No chance at all,” Tom says.
They go on to discuss the business of baseball and which teams will be able to come up with the money Austin will command.
“Bottom line,” Tom says, “look for Jacobs to go somewhere that can a) afford him and b) has a chance at contending in the post-season.”
“Would you call him the number one free agent prospect for this coming off-season?”
“Without a doubt. And he should command top dollar. He’s that rare pitcher with more than one deadly weapon in his arsenal. His fastball is fire, and his cutter is almost unhittable.”
“Not to mention, he can actually hit, too, which makes him attractive to National League teams.”
“For sure. I’m looking forward to seeing where he ends up.”
“Wherever it is, look for him to ink a deal that’ll allow him to finish his career with the next team he plays for. He gave an interview a few months back, indicating that whatever happens after this season, he’d like it to be somewhere permanent for his daughter’s sake.”
I hang on every wor
d, hearing some of this for the first time, especially the part about how he wants to finish his career with whatever team he signs with next. It’s a testament to what kind of father he is that he’s thinking of Everly and wanting to put down roots somewhere for her sake. The more I hear about him, even from broadcasters on TV, the more I like him.
He’s hot as fuck in his uniform, and when he smiles while talking to his teammates, I freeze the frame for a closer look. I rewind and rewatch the part about him fifteen times, at least. And he thinks he’s a creeper!
The game ends in an eight-to-four win for the O’s. I wonder how long it’ll take him to get back to the hotel and what time he’ll call.
I rush through a shower, reapply a small amount of makeup while hoping it won’t look like I tried too hard, put on pajamas and the pink robe my mom got me for Christmas. I make my lunch for tomorrow and fold a basket of clothes while becoming more nervous by the second. I’m rethinking the pajamas when my phone sounds with the FaceTime ringtone.
I grab the phone and take the call, holding my breath until he comes up on the screen, smiling as he reclines against a pile of pillows.
“Hi,” he says.