by Jana David
Allie
Neither of us was really watching the movie. There was a tension between us that was so thick, you could have cut it with a knife.
Darcy's hand was resting on the back of the sofa behind me. I could feel it there, occasionally brushing against my hair, and it was driving me crazy.
My breathing became more and more shallow and my heart started beating faster.
What was I doing here?
I pulled my feet up in a bid to become more comfortable and relaxed, but that only made me lean back further, right into his arms.
The thoughts were racing through my brain.
Was I just reading too much into this? After all, we were friends. I shouldn't be scared of physical contact. Yet, here I was, my body on high alert, simply because his hand had brushed my hair.
I had already finished my bowl of ice cream, and now had absolutely nothing to keep my hands occupied. I crossed my arms, uncrossed them, put my hands in my lap, twisted my fingers this way and that way, but it was pointless. I just couldn't relax.
“Something wrong?” Darcy asked, eyeing me with a slight frown.
“No.” I shook my head.
“You seem nervous.”
“Why would I be nervous?” I definitely sounded nervous.
“I don't know, you tell me.” There was a hint of a dare in his tone, as if we were playing some kind of game. A dangerous game.
“Watch the movie”, I said, forcing my tone to be light, in a bit to diffuse some of the tension in the room.
He gave me one last look, before turning back around, eyes on the screen. His hand stayed where it was, though, teasing me, daring me to move my head back just a little bit.
I forced myself to pay attention to the TV. This was ridiculous. I remembered us sleeping in the same bed together countless times, even well into our teens, and yet here I was, awkwardly sitting at the edge of the sofa, just because...why exactly?
So I just decided to get over myself. I leaned back against his chest and propped my feet up on the armrest. Yes, that felt a hundred times better.
And all of a sudden, the tension left my body, and I could relax. It was strange.
I didn't think about Ian, even though he was in the back of my mind. He seemed a million miles away. Here, tonight, Darcy and I existed in our own little world.
After the initial surprise, his body seemed to relax, too. I felt his chest rise and fall as he took in a deep breath. Neither of us said a word. We didn't need to. We both felt it: this was what we both needed.
So close to him his scent was almost overpowering in its intensity. Not in a bad way, just in an overwhelming kind of way. He smelled of spicy cologne and sweet wine. It was intoxicating.
When the movie ended, Darcy leaned forward and got the remote from the coffee table. His arm stayed curled around my shoulder.
“Do you want to watch another one?”
I shrugged. I didn't. Not really, but I also didn't want this—whatever this was—to end yet.
Darcy pressed a button on the remote, and the screen went black. Suddenly, there was this all-consuming silence again.
We stayed where we were, and I thought if one of us moved, the spell would be broken. It was almost like our own little Christmas miracle.
With the TV off, the only light in the room came from the Christmas tree in the corner. The atmosphere wasn't laced with tension any more. It was almost peaceful. I thought I could stay like this forever, counting Darcy's deep, even breaths and inhaling his scent.
At some point, we must have fallen asleep. I woke up to the first rays of sunlight streaming through the windows. The sun was bright, promising a beautiful day.
Darcy was gone. I was alone on the couch, a blanket draped over me and a soft pillow under my head. At what point of the night he had left me, I wasn't sure, but I was disappointed not to wake up in his arms.
I wasn't sure what last night had meant to him, if anything. I wasn't even quite sure what it had meant to me. In the light of day, things often looked different than they had in the shadows of darkness.
Personally, I felt like I had crossed a line last night. A line I couldn't un-cross. I couldn't bring myself to feel guilty about it, though.
I heard dishes clattering in the kitchen, so I dragged myself off the couch and, wrapping the blanket tightly around my body, tiptoed over to the kitchen area.
Darcy had already taken a shower. His hair was wet and he had changed into a simple T-shirt and some track pants. He seemed to be in a much better mood than he'd been in yesterday, quietly humming to himself while he whisked eggs in a bowl. There was also toast and some leftover chicken from last night. My stomach grumbled at the sight.
“Morning”, I said, stepping closer.
He turned around, a slow smile spreading on his face. “Morning.” Yes, he was definitely in a better mood. “Sleep well?”
His comment send my cheeks flushing like crazy. I tried to brush it off. “Heavenly”, I replied.
“Me, too”, he said, turning his attention back to the breakfast.
“I know we had this big dinner last night, but I felt like making this this morning.” He gestured towards all the food. “Hope you're hungry.”
I just rolled my eyes. “That's a rhetorical question, right?” He knew very well that I was always hungry.
As I turned towards the table, I noticed the small parcel, wrapped in bright-red paper, sitting there.
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Merry Christmas, little Princess.”
“But...you already gave me a present”, I protested.
Since we were all going to be away for Christmas, the boys and I had exchanged gifts the week before.
“Who says this is from me? How about, Santa came down the chimney tonight and brought a present for you?”
“Yeah, right. I'm serious, Darcy. Now I feel bad because I didn't get you anything.”
“Don't. You already got me a present. That's enough for me. Besides, this one didn't cost me any money. I had it lying around, and I thought of you, that's all.” He looked away, a little self-conscious.
“But—“ I tried to protest once more, but Darcy cut me off.
“Enough of this. Just open the present, Al.”
I pouted, defeated. “Fine.”
Curious as to what it could be, I picked up the flat parcel. Darcy watched me closely as I unwrapped it.
It was an EP record of one of the artists I'd heard him listen to behind closed doors.
“Thank you. I love his music.” I turned to smile at him.
“So you know it?” Darcy asked.
“Yeah, I know it. Its beautiful.” I meant that statement in more ways than just the obvious one.