by Jana David
Ian
I couldn't wait to get home. Christmas had been great, but even my patience was stretched thin after having spent two weeks in close quarters with my family. That was the curse of Christmas, though, wasn't it? Seeing your relatives again was great for a day or two. After that, it went downhill fast.
But I wasn't just anxious to get away from my noisy brothers. I couldn't wait to get back to see Allie and ask her all about her Christmas.
When we'd spoken Christmas Day, she'd told me everything was fine, and that she was having a great time, but I could tell something was off. Christmas never went smoothly in her family, and I wondered what could have happened.
When I got home, only Sam was there to greet me. He told me Darcy was out on a dinner date with his new family. So Darce was definitely going to be in a crappy mood this evening.
I decided to surprise Al. She knew I was coming home today, I just hadn't told her when exactly. Maybe we could go out for dinner or better yet, maybe we could pick up a bite to eat on the way back to my place and then have a quite evening in. I liked that option. So I only put my suitcase in my room and headed out again. Unpacking could wait until tomorrow.
I stood in front of her door, ready to knock, when the door was opened from the other side and Allie stepped out, halting mid-step when she saw me.
The look on her face resembled more shock than pleasant surprise.
“You're back”, she said. I had expected her to jump into my arms, but she merely took a tentative step forward, and then stopped, staring at me wide-eyed.
“I'm back” I echoed.
And then she finally put her arm around my neck and pulled me down to give me a kiss.
“How was France?”
There it was again, this feeling as if something was off.
“It was great. I'll show you all the videos later, yeah? Now, how was your Christmas?”
“It was fine.” She avoided my eyes, opting instead to stare into the empty space behind me.
I decided not to ask further questions. I'd get her to tell me eventually. When she was ready.
“You hungry?”
Finally I got a real smile out of her. “Always”, she said.
So we went out for dinner, and we talked.
Well, I talked. Allie mainly stayed quiet. “My Christmas wasn't anything special. I'd rather hear about yours”, she told me when I asked her a question for what felt like the millionth time.
I let it go and instead told her everything from the skiing to how amazing thermal baths are.
Halfway through my story, Al interrupted me, seemingly out if the blue.
“Hey, did you get a chance to talk to Darcy yet?”
I paused mid-sentence. “No.” Allie didn't even seem to notice that she'd just rudely interrupted me. She seemed a million miles away with her thoughts. “Why would you ask?” I wanted to know.
“I was just wondering, that's all.”
“No...I haven't talked to him. He's having dinner at his dad's place.”
“His dad's place?” Allie drew her brows together. “So, did they make up, then?”
“Make up?” I had no idea what she was talking about.
Al seemed to realise this, too. “Oh, you know, he said something to me the other day about having gotten into a fight with his father over Christmas.”
“You talked to him?”
“Yeah, on the phone. The day after Christmas.”
“He called you?” I couldn't hide the tinge of jealousy in my voice. Neither of them tried to contact me over the holidays. When I spoke to Al, she barely managed a four-minute phone call. Darcy didn't bother to answer the phone once. But the two of them were apparently having deep conversations with each other.
I didn't want to, but of course I felt jealous, and if I'm honest a little betrayed. I was being left out, a position nobody wants to be in.
“Just to wish me a Happy Christmas. Nothing more than that. We only talked for a minute or so.”
It sounded like Al was trying to justify the phone call. Like it was something forbidden she was feeling guilty for now.
When I looked closely, I could see the red dots covering her skin along her neck. Al got them whenever she was stressed out or nervous. She was trying very hard to hide it from me, though. She kept pulling the collar of her shirt up and shot short glanced in my direction to see whether I had noticed.
Her acting so nervous was making me nervous, too. What the hell was going on with her?
“Have you thought about where you want to live next year?” I asked. We were lying in bed and it was getting late, the hour before going to sleep where one started to think about all kinds of crazy nonsense and asked questions that were better left alone. “You're not staying in the halls again, right?”
Allie let out a frustrated sigh. “God, no. I want to live somewhere where I don't have to listen to every word my neighbour says next door. Having a decent kitchen to cook some actual food would also be nice. And my own bathroom...” She dreamily closed her eyes.
I wondered if now was a good time to breach the subject. I'd been talking to Darcy about this a few weeks ago, and he'd readily agreed. Sam was fine with it, too. There was only one person who needed to be convinced. I knew Allie was a very independent person, and my pushing this on her could lead to her casting it aside before giving it even the tiniest thought.
“Look, I've been talking to the boys about it, and we all agree that we like you—or in my case, have very strong feelings for you that go way beyond a simple 'like'.” I smiled a sheepish grin. “You spend most of your time here anyway, and the house surely is big enough...”
“What are you trying to say, Ian?” Her voice was quiet; guarded.
I took a deep breath. “What I'm trying to say is, if you're looking to move out of university housing, why not consider moving in with us?”
It was quiet in the room for a moment. I think we both held our breaths.
“Are you sure you talked to Darcy about this?” Allie asked, a slight edge to her voice.
“Yeah, just a few weeks ago. He's fine with it. In fact, he even seemed eager to have you around. He loves you.”
Allie ignored my comment. “But you haven't talked to him about it recently, have you?”
“Define recently.”
“This week?”
“No. I told you, I haven't spoken to him since before I left...” I trailed off. “Listen, is there something going on between the two of you? I'm not stupid, I can see there is something you're not telling me.”
I watched as Allie literally stopped breathing. “No. Why would you say that.”
“You're acting weird, that's why”, I pointed out to her. “Did you two get into a fight again? I know how the two of you are. And whenever I'm not there to play judge, things get out of control.”
“There is nothing going on. We didn't get into a fight. I swear”, she emphasized when I raised an eyebrow. “I'm just not sure what I want to do next year, where I want to live and all that. The first semester isn't even over yet. You are thinking way too far ahead.” I could hear the annoyance in her voice, so I let it go.
For now.
With Allie it was always a gamble how far she could be pushed. Over the past year I had learned pretty well when to leave her alone.
“Alright, let's just go to sleep then.” I pulled her body against mine, snuggling closer. She tensed, at first, but eventually relaxed into my touch. I didn't know what to make of that.