Not wanting to wake Steve, who badly needed the sleep, I smiled at Brennon and hoped he understood how happy I was to see him.
Brennon didn’t smile back. “I’m exhausted,” he whispered, though he didn’t need to say it out loud for me to guess as much. What sort of work had kept him at his office past eleven? “I’ll see you in the morning,” he added then shuffled off to his room, closing the door behind him.
“Looks like I get to share the couch,” I whispered to myself. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but there was nothing that would make me move. I just gently rested my head against Steve’s and closed my eyes, quickly falling back into a dreamless sleep.
Chapter Thirteen
Captain was potty trained. That was nice. A dog slobbering all over me at six in the morning because he needed to go out was less nice. “That’s disgusting,” I mumbled and held up my hands to protect myself from further drooling.
Steve snorted, still half-asleep on my shoulder. “There’s my good boy,” he said.
I shoved him away. “Do you have any rope or something so I can take him outside?” I asked.
Yawning wide, it took him several seconds to answer, “You’re asking the wrong person,” as he brushed his hand over his thick mess of hair. “You could try the closet,” he added, limply waving toward the little closet near the front door.
Suddenly a different dog from last night, Captain stayed right on my heels as I hurried to the closet where I’d found cleaning supplies before and dug through a box on the floor. No rope, but I did find a roll of duct tape. Better than nothing. Tearing off a long strip, I quickly folded it in half the long way so all the sticky was hidden and kept working until it was long enough to act as a sort of temporary leash.
“Okay, bud,” I said and looped my little tape rope around Captain’s neck, just tight enough that he couldn’t escape if he wasn’t as trained as I was hoping. He immediately pulled toward the door, desperate to get outside.
We barely reached the sidewalk before Captain found the nearest weed growing in a crack and promptly popped a squat. “Good boy,” I muttered, and only then did my exhaustion catch up to me as my adrenaline dissipated. Sleeping upright on a couch: not a good way to spend the night. My sleepiness settled on me like a fog to match the grey gloom that seemed to hang over the city every morning. Boston had its occasional fog, but it didn’t quite compare to the Golden Gate’s disappearing act every day.
And yet, despite the all-around gloominess of the morning, I was really starting to like this city. Maybe relocating here wouldn’t be so terrible. As soon as I actually woke up, I would head upstairs and hop on my computer to do some real job hunting, since I hadn’t gotten any closer to finding one yesterday.
Finished with his business, Captain planted himself right at my feet and looked up at me with big brown eyes that weirdly reminded me of Steve, though I seriously doubted the man could pull off the puppy-dog look. He was thin from being hungry, but for the most part this little dog seemed happy and healthy, and I stood there wondering if he had a home out there. I almost hoped he didn’t. If I had to go inside and tell Steve he couldn’t keep the dog…
The door to the apartment building slid open to let someone out, and I glanced over instinctively.
“Brennon!” I said, jumping a little in surprise. It was so early.
He paused just outside the door, fully dressed with his phone in his hand and his gaze hard. “Oh,” he said.
Oh? That was it? “You’re leaving already?”
Nodding, he glanced around then stepped a little closer. Was it just me, or was he actively avoiding the dog at my feet? He was acting so differently from the Brennon I thought I knew that it felt like I was looking at a mask instead of the real him. How many of those did he wear, I wondered. “I have to finish the project I was working on last night,” he said. “I’m not sure how long it’ll take.”
My heart sank, but a bit of annoyance flared up in me too. Not at Brennon, but at myself. I knew it was a bad idea to let myself get so attached so quickly. I knew it. We barely knew each other, and I had no reason to expect him to drop everything just to spend his time with me. I should have figured that out yesterday when I tried to convince him to stay home. “Of course,” I said. So much for being smart and responsible.
Finally, Brennon let his eyes drop to the pup, and though he frowned, he nodded a little. “Steve needs something like this,” he said softly. “Someone to keep him company after you’re…”
I didn’t like the sound of that. “Maybe,” I said carefully, “I can, uh, bring by some dinner later. If you’re still stuck at the office. If it wouldn’t be too distracting.” In the past, I fought against being clingy, but apparently I hadn’t successfully managed to get rid of that trait completely. I felt like I was begging him to let me be part of his life, and I knew that would not end well. He had been up front with how he felt about love, and I had to remember that.
But he smiled, gave me a swift kiss on the cheek, and muttered, “I’ll try not to be too late,” before he hurried off to catch the bus.
While I had my suspicions of why things were so weird between us, I forced down whatever conclusions my brain was jumping to and told myself Brennon was just stressed and busy. It had nothing to do with Steve because there was no reason for it to have anything to do with Steve. He was becoming a good friend, nothing more, and in a few more days, he wouldn’t need me to hang around. We could all get back to normal life, whatever that might look like for me.
“Let’s go back inside, buddy,” I said, giving Captain a gentle tug for him to follow me back to the elevator.
As soon as I opened the apartment door, Captain pulled hard enough on the rope that it slipped from my fingers, giving him the freedom to hurry back to the couch and jump up onto Steve’s legs as he lay there.
“Did you just make a leash out of duct tape?” Steve said almost immediately.
Rolling my eyes, I headed for the kitchen to start making some breakfast for both the boys. More deli meat for Captain, and sausage and eggs for Steve. “Are you jealous of my ingenuity?” I asked.
He chuckled, his fingers rubbing between the dog’s ears once he removed the rope from his neck. “A little bit terrified of it, maybe.”
“You don’t have to be jealous. Not everyone can be as astonishingly bright as me.”
“Right.”
Instead of arguing—we would go on forever if I tried—I turned my focus to breakfast while Steve chatted softly with the dog. I couldn’t help but think about what would happen to Steve once I found my own place and left. Would he actually keep Captain? If the dog already had a home, someone missing him, would he find himself a different dog? It didn’t have to be a trained guide dog, and Steve had changed a lot over the last few days. I knew I couldn’t take credit for all of it, but surely I’d made some good progress with him. I just hoped he wouldn’t revert back to his mopey self the second I stepped out that door.
“Any word from your father?” Steve asked.
I hadn’t charged my phone since yesterday, but I really had no desire to plug it in and check. “Not today,” I replied and cracked an egg onto the hot skillet. Brennon didn’t even know my father had tried to talk to me after the wedding. I wondered if he would have asked about it if he did.
“It was Amelia,” Steve said.
I froze just as I was about to crack another egg. “What?”
“My fiancée,” he said. I couldn’t bring myself to turn toward him as he spoke, so I had no idea if he was watching me as he continued, “Amelia. She didn’t know her dad wasn’t really her dad, but after my accident, her mom told her… She was a Hastings. Like you. And her mom wondered if maybe Gordon would be willing to help his daughter’s fiancé. Not that I needed him to. But that’s why I sorta…freaked out. Or whatever. You just don’t expect to meet a lot of people who could be related like that, you know?”
I wasn’t completely sure how to handle this information,
and I stood there with a spatula in hand and my thoughts swimming around and making me dizzy. Apparently I still wasn’t completely awake. “I should…” I swallowed. “I should tell Seth about her,” I said. “He’d be able to find out if she’s really…” What if I had a sister? An honest to goodness half-sister who once upon a time was in love with the man just a few yards away from me. If Seth found her, then what? Would we adopt her into our makeshift family and have little get-togethers to commiserate over the grief of having a man like Gordon Hastings for a father?
I could tell her about Steve. Maybe, if she knew he was better, she would want to get back with him. He wouldn’t have to be alone anymore.
“She got married about six months ago,” Steve said quietly.
This time I did turn, but he hadn’t moved from where he lay, even though Captain had practically stretched out across his whole chest.
“Brennon tried to keep it from me,” he continued, “but I heard him on the phone with my mom. He was worried I would…”
I swallowed again. “How do you want your eggs?” I asked.
Turning his head, he searched the void of his sight for a glimpse of me with his dark eyes. The little wrinkle between his eyebrows came out in full force, and he gently nudged Captain to make him move. He winced as the dog’s paw dug into his stomach—wince was an understatement—and moved slowly as he sat up. Too slowly. And he was paler than usual.
My heart pounded faster. “Steve, what’s wrong?”
He shook his head but closed his eyes, choosing to sit there at the edge of the couch instead of standing, like I was sure he planned to do. “I’m fine,” he muttered.
“What’s wrong?” I repeated.
Using the couch’s armrest to push himself up, he gingerly shuffled his feet across the floor as he made his way toward me, grabbing the back of to his feet one of the kitchen chairs as soon as he was close enough. “You’re too paranoid,” he said as he lowered himself into the chair. “I’m just a little sore from yesterday. Promise.”
Maybe that made sense. “You’re sure?” I asked.
He smiled, and that was enough to convince me. The man didn’t smile easily. “Do you really think I would lie about something like this?”
“I don’t even know you,” I replied. Stop talking. “Are you the sort of person who lies?” Seriously, Lissa, wake up and realize you need to stop.
Steve’s eyes somehow managed to lock onto mine, and my heart tremored in my chest. “I would never lie to you, Lissa.”
“I believe you,” I said.
“Sunny side up,” he replied, and his grin cleared the rest of the fog from my head.
* * *
“This is the most adorable dog I have ever seen.” Indie had nearly dropped a pot of coffee in excitement when she saw us outside her shop, so I definitely believed her. Especially because she’d been sprawled on the sidewalk with her fingers in Captain’s fur for the last several minutes. “Where did you get him?”
I wasn’t sure why I suggested we stop for coffee. Steve and I had spent the morning making sure everything was good with Captain. He had no microchip, and no one had posted anything about a missing Golden. The vet said he was surprisingly free from parasites and up to date on his shots, and aside from a bit of malnutrition, he was right as rain. We stopped at a pet store and picked up all the essentials—Steve insisted on choosing the collar, even though he could hardly tell one from the next, and picked a light blue—and we were on our way back to the apartment when I recognized the street and asked if Steve was interested in some coffee.
He hadn’t even hesitated in saying yes.
“We found him,” I said, giving Indie a smile.
“He found us,” Steve corrected from where he sat with Matthew at one of the outside tables.
I had no idea why it mattered so much, but I was glad Matthew seemed content to talk with my new friend while Steve drank his coffee. Steve needed friends in this city as much as I did, and I doubted there could be anyone better than the Davenport family. From the little I knew about Matthew, his lighthearted nature and inherent kindness was exactly what Steve needed.
“Are you keeping him then?” Indie asked me.
That was a harder question to answer than I realized. “Steve is keeping him,” I said, “though I’m claiming partial custody. You know, every other weekend and whatnot.”
Indie laughed, and Captain responded to her happiness with a matching wag of his tail and a kiss on her chin. “Oh, aren’t you just the sweetest little thing? So.” Her voice dropped into a whisper, her eyes alight with mischief. Uh oh. “Tell me about this Steve guy.”
This Steve guy had better than average hearing and had to have heard her question. Grabbing her hand—I knew better than to think she would let me change the subject—I pulled her inside the coffee shop and far from the open door. “Don’t look at me like that,” I said, shaking my head. “He’s just a friend.”
“So why are we in here?” she asked.
“Because I don’t want him to hear us.”
“Why not? A man probably wants to know exactly what a beautiful girl thinks about him.”
“I’m dating his roommate,” I said. At least, I was pretty sure I still was. I hadn’t heard from Brennon yet, though my phone was clinging to the little bit of charge I’d given it before we left the house and was probably too low on battery to get any calls or texts. I sipped on my coffee as I silently told myself not to jump to conclusions where Brennon was concerned. He worked hard, and he was probably too busy to grab his phone. He would call at lunchtime, like he had every day.
Indie cocked her head. “Does he know you’re dating his roommate?” she asked, nodding toward Steve.
I choked. “What? Steve?”
I really didn’t like the look of her grin as she watched me try to breathe again. “Sure,” she replied. “I know he can’t see, but that hasn’t stopped that man from looking over at you every thirty seconds since you got here.”
“He’s probably just making sure I haven’t left him to fend for himself,” I said, turning just in time to meet Steve’s gaze through the window, so to speak. Why would he keep looking at me?
Still grinning, Indie waited a moment then asked, “So who’s this roommate? When did you meet him?”
“At the wedding,” I said. Steve was still looking pale, though he hadn’t seemed too bothered by whatever soreness he had when we were walking around the pet store. I hoped he was okay, but it was hard to tell. He barely moved as he sat there.
“That’s not very long,” Indie said. “Is it serious?”
Good question. “I dunno,” I muttered. Steve would tell me if he was in pain, wouldn’t he? I didn’t want to think that he actually was capable of lying to cover up a problem, and I really did believe him when he said he wouldn’t lie to me. I desperately wanted to believe him. “Brennon doesn’t believe in love,” I said slowly, “so it’s hard to know if there’s a future there.”
“Doesn’t believe in love? What kind of bull—crap—is that?” A bit red, Indie glanced at the customers around us, probably hoping no one had heard her. “Wow, I’ve been spending too much time around Matthew and Catherine, sorry.”
I just smiled. I really did like Indie, and I hoped Matthew wouldn’t screw things up with her. She belonged in this family. “He says he thinks it’s just fantasy,” I replied. “Romantic nonsense made up by people hoping there’s a magical solution to life’s problems. Love is just contentment. Compatibility. Safety.”
“Well yeah,” Indie said, rolling her eyes. “Everyone knows that, but they don’t have any problem calling it love. What does Brennon have against the word?”
Steve looked over at me again, searching me out among the shapes and colors of the coffee shop. Why would he be looking for me when he had Captain by his side? “I have no idea,” I muttered.
Indie took my hand, and I stared at it for a second before looking up into her face. With her black hair, green eyes, and a
splash of freckles on her nose, she had a bright sort of kindness about her, a fire that made her absolutely stunning in her own unique way. Matthew probably fell for her the second he saw her.
“Did you know I was married?” Indie asked quietly. I shook my head. “For a few years, and I thought I knew what love was. How could I not, when my husband looked at me the way he did and made me want to be something better? After I lost him, I understood love even more. It was caring more about someone else than about yourself, and being willing to give up everything for just one more minute with them. And then I met Matthew.”
Her smile said a lot more than words could when she looked out at him through the open door. As if he knew she was watching him, he looked over and mirrored her expression before returning his attention to whatever Steve was saying to him. Anyone who saw them would have to admit the two of them were nothing if not made for each other. “When I met Matthew,” Indie continued, “I realized love is different. Every day. It’s sharing your fears and letting someone take some of your burden for a bit. It’s letting yourself be real. A man who says he doesn’t believe in love is a man who’s afraid to let his guard down enough to feel vulnerable.”
I knew it was a warning, an admonition to stop me from getting hurt, but I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to hear it. I knew love was real and that it was different for everyone. I could see that just in Matthew’s family alone. But she was telling this to someone who didn’t need to hear it. “You don’t have to worry about me,” I said quietly as the morning’s fog returned, settling heavy in my chest. “I doubt anyone will be falling in love with me any time soon. Not the real me, anyway.”
Her smile warm, Indie pulled me in for a hug. “I know I really don’t have a right to say this,” she said, “since we met less than a week ago, but I think you’re wrong. Love likes to sneak up on you when you least expect it. Like when it walks through your door and turns your life on its head.”
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