Nan's Journey

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Nan's Journey Page 10

by Elaine Littau


  He monitored them as they each grew fat on blood. He returned them to the jar and fetched two more. After they gorged themselves, he put them back into the jar and packed the last of the clean rags into Elmer’s mouth. He turned to speak to the worried attendees, “I am going to have to try to pull that stub of a tooth. I reckon he will come to when I try to do this so I have a plan. I am going to knock him out.”

  Nan sucked in her breath, “Why would you do that?”

  “Just trust me little lady. It has to be done.”

  “You ain’t gonna hit him are you?”

  “No. Nate, get me a hammer and Martha, bring me a big cast iron cooking pot. I will put the pot on his head and hit it with the hammer and it will put him out.”

  “Doc, are you shore?” Nate stroked the stubble on his chin and looked stern with his brow furrowed in deep lines, “Couldn’t it kill him?”

  “Yes, it could kill him if it ain’t done just right, but I have done the knock out before and the old drunk I did it to lived to tell about it. I couldn’t give the old codger enough whiskey to put him out for the operation, so I had to knock ‘em out.”

  “Is it wise to do that to a young child?” Martha couldn’t stand the thought or the risk.

  “Martha, we don’t have a choice. We got rid of a bunch of poison, but the cause of the poison is that fractured tooth and jaw. I will have to chip out all the pieces of fractured jaw too. It should heal up and give him a lot of relief.”

  When the doctor knocked out Elmer he hurriedly removed the blood soaked rags and found the piece of tooth embedded into the gums. With small pliers, he grabbed it and it slipped. After many tries, he held the offending bit of tooth in the grip of the pliers. He removed many small pieces of bone from the jaw and the blood poured. The doctor was worried about the enormous amount of blood that the child had lost, but there was nothing he could do about that. After much time had passed the old doc declared the operation to be over. He heated a small bit of iron over a coal oil lamp until it turned red and seared the wounds inside the mouth of the patient. That was the only way to get the blood to stop flowing. Hopefully the little boy would live.

  He hollered at Martha, “Martha, you better do your best prayin’ now cause I’ve done all I can. It is up to the good Lord to bring him through now. He is going to hurt something awful when he comes to. Just give him more of that Injun medicine and he can stand it. Could I have some coffee? I’m stayin’ until I see that he wakes up from the knock out.”

  Nan was standing at the door and the doc almost knocked her down on his way to the dinner table to drink the coffee.

  “Kid, you need to get some rest. Martha, get this girl in bed now. Her brother will be out for a while. She don’t need to watch him sleep.”

  Fred took three long strides and was at Nan’s side. He scooped her up and carried her to his old room. He put her down beside the bed and ordered her to remove her travel clothes. As she removed them, he dug into the pack and found her nightdress. Keeping his back to her he handed her the garment. “Put this on and climb under the covers, Nan.”

  She obediently climbed under the covers and lie there. The exhaustion of the day came down upon her and her lips were parched. Fred looked down upon the small figure and noticed the chapped lips. “I’ll bring you a drink of water if you want.”

  “Thank you.”

  As carefully as a mother with a newborn, Fred held the dipper of water to her lips and watched her take in a few gulps. Gently he laid her back onto her pillows and tucked her in. Without forethought he bent and kissed her delicate brow. The cool brow startled him to reality and he started to apologize for the gesture, but the recipient was sleeping soundly.

  Martha was standing in the doorway and took in the tender scene. She couldn’t help but be concerned by the way her son was behaving. True, he treated the girl kindly, but there was more to it than she felt ought to be. “Fred, what is going on? You have changed. Come in here and tell me about it.”

  The last thing Fred felt like doing was telling his parents, not to mention the doctor, that he and Nan were married. It was probably better to tell them today while Nan was sleeping than to have them searching her face while the tale was told.

  “Yes, Ma and Pa, Doc Benson, I do have some news.’

  “Well…”

  “Ma, a few months ago Nan told me that she is sixteen years old. I knew that if word got out that she had been living in the wilderness with a widower, it would ruin her reputation so I decided to marry her.”

  “Son, do you mean to tell me that you love this child?” Nate queried.

  “I care for her very much, but love is…You know there will never be another Claire.”

  “Are you telling us that Nan is sixteen years old? Fred, were you improper with her? Is that the basis of this marriage?” Martha’s voice was wooden and small.

  “Mother, Nan and I were not intimate before our marriage. However, just so that you know, she is with child. She conceived on the week we were wed.”

  “Just where did you go to get married son?” Nate asked.

  “Silverton. Like I said, when I realized her age, I knew that the old hens of our town would be unkind to her and her reputation would be ruined. Besides, Nan and Elmer still need protection from those stepparents. This way, they cannot touch them since Nan is my wife.”

  Doctor Benson rubbed the gray stubble on his chin thoughtfully, “Has Nan been feeling alright since the marriage and the baby on the way?”

  “She has been worried sick about Elmer. She doesn’t sleep most nights because she checks on him constantly. It is good to see her sleeping so soundly now.”

  “Probably relief. Elmer should recover nicely if he makes it through the night. He had a passel of poison in his system and he isn’t out of the woods yet.”

  “He hasn’t spoken much for a few days. The pain was too much for him. It was a relief when James gave us the herbs to help him sleep. Nan was afraid he was dying.”

  “Well, Fred, if you would have waited another day or two, it might have been too late. But about Nan, take good care of her. She is too thin and her color is bad. She needs almost as much rest as Elmer. Do you understand?”

  Martha assured them all. “I’ll see to it that they get fat and sassy in no time.”

  “Good girl.”

  ”Doc, you look like you are about to drop yourself. Why don’t you rest a bit? I will sit with Elmer for a spell.”

  “I want to be here when he is conscious, but I believe I will go to the house for a couple of hours and get some shuteye. I will be back before sun up to relieve you.”

  “How can we ever thank you, Doc?” Fred had tears standing in his eyes.

  “It isn’t really over, boy, but I think it will be alright.”

  Nate took his watch over the tiny boy. Fred came into the room and placed his hand on his Dad’s shoulder, “Dad, I don’t ever want to do anything that would hurt you. You know that don’t you?”

  “Yes, my boy, I trust that you did what you felt God wanted you to do. In fact, I think this might be just the thing you needed to help you get back into life and the ministry.”

  “Let’s not rush it. I don’t know if I could ever stand in front of people again and preach.”

  “We’ll see.” Nate had a twinkle in his eye at the thought of hearing his boy preach again.

  “Fred, I guess you can stay in the room with Nan since you are married now.” Martha stood in the doorway hating to intrude on the hushed conversation, but knowing that her son was exhausted.

  “I do feel the tiredness creeping up on me. I will be up in a while to check on Elmer. Let me know when he wakes up.”

  Fred crept into his old bedroom and saw that Nan had not moved one muscle since he had tucked her in. He had to mess up his side of the bed so that his folks wouldn’t guess that there was more to their story. Fred eased himself carefully onto his side of the bed and lay there intending to get up with a blanket and sleep on the
floor, but fatigue overtook him and he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

  “Fred, dear.” The whisper of his mother’s voice in his ear broke through the dreamless sleep of the exhausted man. “Elmer woke up. He has a little color to his complexion now but he is really hurting. Can you give him the herbs? I didn’t know how much to give to him…I’m sorry to disturb your rest.”

  “Quite alright, Mother.” Fred was on his feet in an instant.

  Elmer looked at Fred and tears were filling his large blue eyes. He parted his lips to speak but the pain from the lancing and cauterizing prevented words. Fred knelt down beside him and wrapped his arms around the small boy and comforted him. “You know, Elmer, if I could give you some of my strength, I would.”

  Elmer nodded gravely.

  “My Lord can help you through this. He said that He is our strength when we are weak. He will do what He says. I believe it. Do you?”

  Again Elmer nodded assent.

  Fred placed his big muscular work hardened hand on Elmer’s head and prayed a simple but moving prayer, “Jesus, You promised to never leave us or forsake us. My partner here feels pretty low and needs strength in his little body. Please make the healing come and bring health to Elmer. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

  He put two pinches of the herbs in a small amount of cool water and mixed it together, “Here Pard, drink up. That’s a good boy. Go back to sleep. I’ll be right here standing guard over you.”

  The young one groaned and moaned for a few moments and was soon asleep. Fred sat in the old rocker his ma had placed in the room for those who kept watch. The familiar creak it made as he rocked gave him a strange feeling of comfort. The sound was homey and nostalgic of his childhood days. It brought memories of Dad sitting beside the fireplace and Mama in this very rocker during Scripture reading before bed flooded his mind.

  He spent a good many hours praying in this old rocker when the Lord had spoken to his heart about becoming a preacher. He thought about all those times while he kept a silent watch. Preaching was way down the list of things he wanted to do, although he did miss the connection he felt with God Almighty when he knew that the words he was speaking were the ones God had placed on his lips. Well, at any rate, it would take a real miracle for him to get back to preaching. He wasn’t rushing into anything like that. Most likely parishioners would never change.

  Fred was glad to see that a little color was coming into the deathly pale skin of the boy. Who would of thought that a broken tooth could endanger a life? He really was a little soldier to not whine and cry over it all the time. How much damage had Elmer and Nan suffered at the hands of those stepparents? He thought about Nan. He couldn’t help but notice when he took her away from the trappers that her back was a mass of scars. Her back had virtually no smooth skin.

  Thinking of that day brought back the ugliness of what had happened. Poor little Nan, what would her life have been had her Mother and Father not died, Elmer too, for that matter. She would have probably been the smartest girl in the schoolhouse. Nan was sharp and learned quickly. There likely would have been a farmer’s son who would have been trying to catch her eye. Somehow, it made Fred feel strange to think of Nan with someone else. She would have had several serious suitors. She really was quite pretty with that raven hair and those earnest brown eyes. She may not have been interested in those kinds of things yet had she had a happy life with her real parents. She seemed to be the “tomboy” type, strong and competitive. It was too bad that her childhood was stolen from her as it had. These thoughts turned in his mind for the hours that he kept the late night watch.

  The boy tossed and turned as the dawn approached. The pain was evident on his face. He moaned loudly and began vomiting violently. Fred grabbed a clean cloth and dipped it into the cool water beside the bed and mopped Elmer’s forehead with it. “Hang in there, Pard.”

  The doctor stepped quietly into the room. “Good job, Elmer. We need all that poison that got away from us to get out of your body. Don’t fight it.” Fred stepped away from the bed to allow the doc to get a closer look at Elmer. “Fred, go to bed. I am here now and if we are going to lick this thing, both of us had better take rest when we can.”

  Fred left the room with a silent nod of thanks. He was too tired to do anything but lie on his side of the bed and sleep. Sleep came immediately and the tired anguished mind was finally at peace.

  *****

  The sun was shining brightly when Nan awoke. How long had she slept and where was Elmer? As she turned to climb out of the bed, she saw Fred lying there. Oh yes, he had to be there so that his parents wouldn’t know that this was not a marriage born of love. Looking at the sound sleeper, she denied the term that indicated that love was not an issue in this marriage. Fred had a great love for her and Elmer. He was their shield from harsh gossip. He carefully explained to her about the talk that kills and wounds innocent people. He reassured her that she was innocent. She hadn’t deserved to be hurt by those horrible men. It took a lot of talk and quite a bit of convincing for her to realize that she didn’t deserve the pain and hurt that had come to her short life. The only way he could reach her to convince her of that was the argument that if she deserved her mistreatment, then surely Elmer deserved his. Why, he was a sweet little guy who had never hurt anyone! Fred convinced her that she was just as sweet and kind as Elmer.

  She watched Fred breath steadily in deep sleep. Fred was kind. She had no doubt about that. He loved her little brother and that was good enough for her. Although, there was something else that was intangible. She had the feeling that he did understand her, maybe better than she understood herself. He was lying on his side facing toward her. One arm was pillowing his head and the other was on top of the covers. His arms were bronze and muscular.

  She remembered walking up on him in the summer when he and Elmer were chopping wood. He had taken his shirt off. He was so embarrassed for her to see him bare-chested. He grabbed the cast-off garment quickly and shoved his arms into it in one motion, buttoning the front unevenly. She smiled at the remembrance.

  He had seemed more like a boy than man at the time. He had big strong hands. They were rough, but so tender whenever he tended to Elmer. That memory brought quick tears to her eyes. She and Elmer were lucky to have Fred. She determined that he would not be sorry that he had taken them on.

  Nan noticed the black hair tossed onto his forehead, his straight nose, and gentle firm mouth. He still had a weary look around his eyes. Those bright blue eyes that twinkled merrily when he teased them could become daggers of fiery ice when anger came. She would like to be able to examine his eyes without his knowledge, just as she was looking at him now, because she did not want him to catch her. What would she do if the handsome face that she was peering at came to life as those big eyes opened? She would be mortified. What would she say?

  She dragged her gaze off the sleeping man to the cozy room where they lay. Martha was warm and cozy like this room. Oh what was she thinking? Elmer. How was he doing? She must check on him at once. She quietly climbed out of the bed and wrapped a large shawl from the chair around her shoulders and made her way to the small room at the front of the house. Elmer was awake and looking a sight better. He was taking a little water. She could only imagine the pain in his mouth from the cauterizing of the wounds.

  “Elmer honey, how are you feeling?”

  “No headache,” replied the raspy voice.

  “No headache? Oh that is wonderful!”

  “Nan, he can’t speak much or it will cause the bleeding to start up again,” said the doctor.

  “I understand. I am so relieved that his headache has stopped.”

  “He has been resting quite well. I think that the healing will come fast as soon as he gets a little strength back. He had so much poison that it could have killed him if it had busted out by itself. He is quite blessed to have made it to surgery in time.”

  “What can I do for him?” she asked.

 
“You can get some rest. I know about the marriage and about the baby. You have to take good care of yourself, else you won’t do anyone any good.”

  “When? How…” Nan put her hand to her throat.

  “Fred told his ma, pa and me about it when you went to bed. He said that he wanted to keep people from gossiping about a sixteen-year-old girl living in the wilderness with him. I think there is more to it, but it looks like he did the right thing. Are you sure that you are sixteen, girl?”

  “Yes, sir.” Nan was so glad that Fred had told the news without her being present. She had never been a good liar.

  “So the baby will he here around the last of May, right?”

  “We got married the first part of October, wouldn’t it be July?”

  “Just checking,” Grinned the doctor.

  Nan blushed all the way to her toes and left the room.

  Quietly Nan climbed into the feather bed. Fred had not moved since she left. Just as her head touched the soft pillow, the sleeper awoke. “Is everything alright, Nan? How is Elmer?”

  “He was awake and said his head quit hurting!” Nan was batting back the tears that came to her eyes.

  Fred quickly put his arms around her and gave her a bear hug. “Isn’t that good news?” He was speaking with tears in his voice. He patted her on the back and stroked her hair as if she were a small child. He kissed her forehead and as his lips brushed past her hair, he became aware of the spontaneous embrace. She had laid her head on his shoulder and was quietly crying. “Nan, I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to become so…familiar.” The words stumbled through his lips.

  “No Fred, I just can’t believe that it is finally over for Elmer and he will be getting well. You have been good to us. I love how you care for us.” She was sobbing great body- wracking sobs while she spoke.

  “Let me get up and give you some time for yourself, Nan.”

  “No, please. Could you just hold me next to your heart? My Pa used to comfort me like that. I can’t stop crying. I feel so stupid for crying because he will get well.”

 

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