by Nella Tyler
“It’s because you’re a woman,” Lisa chimed in, lifting her blonde eyebrows, always ready for an impromptu chat on how women were constantly getting the shaft. Not that I disagreed with her.
She had on a racy red dress cut low in both the back and the front and shiny black stilettos, her strawberry blonde hair worn loose and straight down her back. “I get that shit at work all the time. I’m the only woman in the IT department. Most guys are floored that I even know how to turn on a computer, let alone fix one.” She smiled her humorless, pissed off grin, made even more dramatic by her blood red lipstick.
The waitress came by to take our drink orders. We each asked for our favorites: a glass of pinot for Lisa, a long island iced tea for Amy, and a whiskey sour for me.
“Remember that guy Andrew I went out with a few times?” Lisa asked, her blue eyes sparkling in the bar’s low light.
“How can we forget?” Amy asked in a dry, sour tone. “He followed you around everywhere, which meant he followed us around everywhere. I swear I saw that guy in my damned nightmares.”
I laughed as Lisa made a face. Out of the three of us, she had the most tragic dating stories. But she also dated the most, so it made sense.
“Yeah, well, we’re through. I came out of my bathroom one night after we’d slept together and found him trying on one of my bras.”
I covered my mouth to hide my smile, my eyes wide. “What?”
“Did he at least look good in it?” Amy asked, deadpan.
Lisa ignored her and continued with her story. “He said we’d been together long enough that he felt comfortable being himself around me.”
“Oh my God, Lisa, you get all the good ones,” I said, shaking my head. They’d only been dating for three weeks. How comfortable could you really be with someone after such a short period? These were the types of things that just never happened to me.
“Yeah, well, we aren’t seeing each other anymore. If wearing women’s underwear makes him happy, more power to him, but that’s just not my thing.” She waved her hand. “Too bad, though. He was great in bed.”
Amy and I laughed as the waitress came back with our drinks, setting them down in front of us. We raised our glasses.
“To another shitty week over with,” I said.
“To finding a good man who doesn’t want to wear my goddamned underwear,” Lisa said with a grin.
“To finding a man, period,” Amy said. We’d both had a bit of a dry spell lately and were almost willing to take what we could get, provided he had all his teeth and a job.
Giggling, the three of us clinked glasses.
I took a long sip of my drink. “This is just what I needed.” As soon as the waitress went by, we ordered another round.
“I showed this couple around all day while they tore apart every single listing I had for them. They just didn’t understand that the market isn’t the same in their rural town in Oregon as it is in the middle of the city here in Seattle.” I sucked down the rest of my drink, feeling better already, the alcohol working to relax my sore, tense muscles. “Then they accused me of being rude.”
“You’re the nicest person I know,” Lisa said. “I could show them rude, if you wanted.”
I laughed at the thought of unleashing Lisa on the Davidsons and shook my head. “No, thanks. I’d like to keep my job!”
She shrugged a bare shoulder. “Suit yourself.”
“Once this budget is done at work, I should be able to breathe easier,” Amy said, using the little black straw to swirl the drink in her glass. She looked as exhausted as I felt. “I can’t wait for the holidays. I’m about ready to collapse.”
She was lucky enough to work at a place that closed for two weeks around Christmas and New Year’s. Business only got busier around the holidays for realtors. I had three purchase closings in between the 25th and the first. I was the busiest when other people were off work as that was when they had time to look at houses.
“I got passed up for a promotion,” Lisa said glumly, her shoulders dropping. “Again. Some asshat who hasn’t even been at the company half as long as I have got it. A man, of course.”
“I’m sorry, Lisa,” I said. Today had been an off week as far as clients went, but my boss at the agency was great. I was normally very happy at my job. “You could always look for something else. You know your shit. Any company would be lucky to have you.”
“My firm’s looking for an IT person,” Amy said. “I’m not sure how much they’re paying, but I can find out.”
“Thanks, Aim,” Lisa said. All at once, her face changed. I knew that look in her eyes, the way her entire body drew itself up and her face softened. She was seeing something she liked. “Oh my sweet Lord. Look at what just walked in the door.”
We all turned. Lisa made an appreciative noise. Amy whispered, “Oh, damn.” I drew in a breath and held it. A strapping redheaded man had just walked into the Fox, ducking to keep from hitting his head on the doorframe. That made him at least six five. And, strapping wasn’t quite the word to describe him, but it was a damned good start. I’d never seen shoulders so broad in my life, and he had the chest to match, the muscles straining the boundaries of his black t-shirt. He had a long face with sharp, handsome features, his strong jaw covered in a dark auburn beard a shade or two darker than the shock of hair on his head.
As he strode across the bar, I got a good look at him from the waist down. His long legs were clad in dark wash jeans that he wore low on his hips. They hugged his ass nicely, and since he was in no hurry to get to the bar, I was able to fully appreciate the view.
I kept my eyes on him, hoping he’d turn and spare a glance my way. I hadn’t dated anyone in a few months, and I’d be more than happy to break my dry spell with this guy. But he kept his gaze on the bar, taking a seat on an empty stool and signaling the bartender, which gave us a great opportunity to quietly swoon over the muscles flexing in his toned arm.
“I can’t even deal with that right now,” Amy said, shaking her head, curly hair bobbing, and went back to nursing her long island.
“I could deal with that morning, noon, and night,” Lisa replied, keeping her light eyes on the handsome stranger.
I didn’t say anything, just watched him order two shots and knock them back one right after the other. He sat with hunched shoulders, eyes on the bar, not looking around at anyone. He was here to get plastered, plain and simple.
Not that it mattered much. He was probably taken, just like every other halfway good looking straight man with a job in Seattle. Sighing, I glanced down at my drink, only to find that it was empty.
Blaze
Late December
I finished up my reps on the bench press, pushing hard at the end. Johnny was spotting me, his hands up and ready to catch the bar if need be. I liked to push to muscle failure, especially when I had shit to work through. I sat up, using my hand towel to wipe at the sweat running down my face, the muscles in my arms trembling.
“Damn, Simmers,” Johnny said, coming around the front of the bench and grinning. “I thought you were going to drop the bar on your neck at the end there.”
I let the towel fall into my lap as I looked up at him, not saying a word. The station had a pretty decent exercise room. So decent, actually, that I’d dropped my gym membership as soon as I came on board with the department. Lacey had been on me since we started dating to join one of her gyms, but I hadn’t seen the need. I could do all my weight lifting and cardio here. Exercise had always helped get me through every challenge in my life. If I could sweat it out, I could deal with anything.
“You’ve been pushing hard for weeks,” Johnny said, still smiling, his dark eyes darting around my face. He was pretty easy going, which was why I didn’t mind spending 48 hours at a time with him at the station and putting my life in his hands every time we went out on a call. We’d been working together for several years. He’d saved my ass a few times, and I’d done the same for him. It was just part of the job.
<
br /> “I’ve got a lot of shit on my mind,” I replied with a sigh.
“Anything you want to talk about?” He’d moved over to the dumbbells, picking up a pair so he could alternate bicep curls while I watched.
“Lacey and I broke off our engagement a few weeks ago,” I said. He was the first person I’d told since it’d happened. I’d spent a lot of time not thinking about it. I didn’t want to get back together with Lacey, but also didn’t want anyone to know about the breakup until I’d dealt with some of the shit in my own head. Now I felt ready to attempt to move forward.
His dark eyes lifted to meet mine for a moment, then he went back to looking down at his arms as he pumped the weights. “Sorry to hear that, man. Are you guys still dating, or did you call everything off at the same time?”
I shrugged. “Everything, I guess.”
Hector strode into the gym, not interrupting us to say hello as he walked to the back of the room and climbed onto one of the treadmills. He got it going immediately, starting with a slow walk. He’d be running at top speed just as soon as he was warmed up. The guy could clock some serious miles. He did marathons in his free time and all kinds of other crazy shit like triathlons and obstacle courses that went on for miles.
“She’d been acting weird lately, and I found some other guys clothes at her house.” I shook my head as I wiped more sweat from my neck. “I asked her pointblank if she’d been cheating on me, and she came right out with it like it was no big deal.”
“Damn,” Hector said and left it at that. He kept his dark eyes pinned to the monitor of the treadmill.
“She didn’t even really seem sorry about it or upset about getting caught,” I continued. “We’ve talked once or twice since the night of the breakup, and she’s the exact same as she was before, acting like nothing really happened. She sends texts asking me to meet her places and shit. She wants to keep sleeping together, but I’m sure she’s still going out with those other assholes.”
I was getting pissed again, going over all of this. It was part of the reason I didn’t want to think about it or bring it up. I just kept seeing the smile on Lacey’s face as she sat across from me at the table, acting like this was just what people did and if I had a problem, it was my issue, not hers.
“That’s harsh,” Johnny muttered, more to himself than to me.
“She hasn’t given the ring back, either. Is that normal?”
No one responded. I’d only ever asked Lacey to marry me, Hector was married to the only girl he’d ever proposed to, and Johnny had never been with anyone long enough to consider marriage. This was uncharted territory for all three of us.
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Johnny said, chancing another quick look at me, his smile long gone. “That things ended, I mean, not that she’s keeping the ring. Guys are happiest when they’re free to play the field. That’s biological fact. Just look at the animal kingdom.”
I couldn’t help the smile that cracked open my lips. I shot an amused, questioning look over at Hector, who was staring at the back of Johnny’s head in mild disbelief, his dark black eyebrows drawn sharply together.
“Being tied down to one woman is unnatural,” Johnny continued. “It’s impossible to be happy that way. Monogamy is abnormal. Now you’re free again.”
“I don’t feel fucking free,” I replied. “Or happy.” I grabbed my plastic bottle from the ground and squirted some water into my mouth.
“You aren’t mentally free of the relationship yet,” he countered, pumping his arms faster. He was wiry, but strong, fit and toned without being bulky. Where I’d played football in high school, he’d played basketball—the shortest, whitest guy on the team, but fast and accurate. “You have to work through that bullshit before you can be happy again. But the breakup will end up being a good thing. Trust me. You’ll see.”
I laughed, shaking my head. This was the best I’d felt since that fucked up dinner with Lacey. I could at least count on work and the guys to keep my mind off things.
“That’s a bunch of bullshit, Johnny,” Hector piped up. He’d moved to a slow jog, but could keep up a conversation well after most people were gasping for air. He ran with the easy grace of someone who’d been doing this since he was a kid. While I was busy with football and Johnny with basketball, Hector was running cross country and track. “You don’t even know what you’re talking about. The longest relationship you’ve had in the five years I’ve known you has been about six weeks long.”
Johnny grinned, showing his slightly crooked front teeth. His face would be perfect if not for those, but he claimed they were why he could attract so many women. He said that no one liked perfection, not really — it was nice at first, but off-putting in the long run. His crooked teeth were his in. Being a moderately tall blonde firefighter who worked out in his free time probably didn’t hurt, either. I hadn’t noticed any of the single guys in the department having trouble locking down dates, but Johnny was full of all sorts of ideas on women and how to attract them.
“What’s your point?” he asked.
Hector’s tanned face tightened into a deep scowl, his brown eyes shooting up from the monitor of the treadmill to bathe him in a withering stare. “My point is that maybe Blaze should take advice from someone who’s actually been in a relationship that lasted more than two months.”
“I’m happier than both of you,” Johnny said, still working alternating biceps as he shot us both a wide, sunny grin.
Hector ignored him, turning his dark eyes on me and lifting a single eyebrow. “A good woman lifts a man up instead of pulling him down, and there are plenty of both kinds in the world. Don’t give up on finding a good woman just because you found out your ex-fiancée was the kind of woman that pulls a man down. Better to realize that now before you married her and brought kids into the world.”
I considered that for a moment. Hector was a couple years older than Johnny and me, and those few years seemed to make all the difference at times like these. I could always depend on him for rock solid advice.
He’d been married to the same woman for fifteen years, but they’d been together since their junior year of high school. They had two kids — a daughter and a son — and seeing the four of them together made even the hardest, wildest man want exactly what Hector had.
I’d told Lacey that once and she’d turned her nose up at the idea of having kids. My body’s perfect, she’d said. Why would I want to ruin it by getting knocked up? In retrospect, that should have been a giant red flag, but the sex was good, and we’d been close to having some of it on the night she made that comment. I figured she’d come around when the time came. It hadn’t concerned me more than getting in between her legs, in other words. Even thinking about how great she was in bed now got me rock hard. I had to keep reminding myself that my bed wasn’t the only one she was climbing into.
“Everyone has a soulmate waiting for them,” Hector said. “I was lucky enough to find mine at sixteen.”
Johnny grinned and rolled his eyes. He’d made it pretty clear he planned to stay a playboy for the rest of his life. He got bored after a few weeks with the same person, said it had to do with his mild ADD. Hector said it had more to do with him being a shallow asshole, which busted the three of us up immediately, Johnny laughing harder than anyone else.
“Yeah, I don’t know about that,” I said.
“Don’t give up on finding a good woman,” Hector replied. “She’s out there somewhere, but you have to keep an open mind.”
Johnny leaned to drop the dumbbells at his feet. “I agree with the part about not giving up. There are plenty of hot ladies out there who can’t wait to date a fireman.”
I laid back on the bench and put my hands on either side of the bar. Johnny drifted over to spot me again as I lifted it.
“I’m definitely not giving up,” I said and started my next rep. But I knew I also had to give myself a much needed a break after the fiery whirlwind that was Lacey blew out of my life, leaving
everything torn up and smoking in her wake.
Sami
Late December
I went to the fridge for another soda, still listening to my mom drone on about how petty the other women in her bunco group could be. There was always something outrageous going on in that damned group. It was like a soap opera. I didn’t even know these women, but it felt like I did because I got weekly updates about the goings on in their lives — who was on whose shit list, whose kids were on drugs or getting divorced, and whose spouse was going through some terrible ordeal. It sounded like high school, but these people were all in their sixties and seventies.
“What are the final plans for Christmas?” I asked after letting the drama completely unfold. It was difficult to feign interest in the bunco intrigue every month, but my work as a realtor certainly gave me enough practice. “I can only make it down for the weekend. I have closings the Tuesday after the holiday, but that still leaves four days at home.”
Mom didn’t answer right away. She lived a few hours outside of Seattle, and I wanted to nail down the details before it got to be too late. It wasn’t like I had to book a plane ticket, but I was a planner and the holiday was a week away. I was tired of the plans being up in the air.
“Is someone not coming?” I knew my sister Linda was forever trying to get out of any kind of family get-together. But this was Christmas. There was no getting out of that. Right? I thought. I’d been looking forward to baking cookies and making dinner in the family kitchen. I was even looking forward to the inevitable fights. Dad had died a few years before, so it would just be the four of us, but that was all I wanted.
“Linda can’t make it,” Mom said, sighing. “Something about work.” I’d thought Linda was unemployed, but didn’t bother to say anything. Mom could get surprisingly defensive on the subject of her eldest daughter.