by Nella Tyler
Thankfully, he hadn’t reached out to Lacey. I’d never have heard the end of it if he had. But part of me wondered why he hadn’t called her. She’d been the third wheel on so many of our adventures going back to elementary school. I wasn’t one of those older sisters who didn’t want to have anything to do with their kid sibling. If I was going someplace, Lace was always invited, too.
The result of the stormy mix of emotions and being made to face Carter again in less than forty eight hours? I drank way too much. I started before he even showed up, just needing something to ease the heavy dread I felt dropping into my belly at the reality of his impending arrival. Thinking about him hanging out with Lisa Teller again hadn’t helped matters.
Not that I had any right to tell him who to hang out with, but I hadn’t been a huge fan of hers back in school. She was one of the fastest girls in our class, burning through the limited pool of available men, eventually setting her sights on Carter. They didn’t date for long and it didn’t seem very serious, but I had never liked it. I didn’t tell him so, but I was happy when they broke up.
Now it seemed like things had heated up between the two of them again. Every time Lisa walked past Carter, she made sure to cuddle up to him, pressing her large breasts firmly into his body and leaning her head into him. She hardly looked at me — maybe Carter told her how cruelly I’d excluded him from my life. Maybe they’d had a good long laugh at how awful I was. How stuck up and full of myself. The thought turned my stomach, and the four drinks I poured on top of all that anxiety didn’t help matters. When Carter made his escape upstairs, I followed shortly afterwards, just wanting to get away from the music and everyone else, just needing a moment to myself so I could think.
I excused myself from the middle of a conversation, pretending I needed to refresh my drink. I actually went to the kitchen, threw out my empty beer can, and then made a beeline for the stairs, running to the second floor without drawing much attention. I’d actually been to this house once before back when Lisa and Carter were dating. From what I understood, Lisa’s mom had passed away a few years ago and she now shared the house with her sister.
I ducked into the first room in the hallway and closed the door behind me. I turned on the light and looked around, holding my breath and expecting to find a couple in here all over each other, like parties back in the day. But I was alone. It looked like a bedroom, but not one that was actually lived in. It was too clean for that and stripped of all decorative accents.
I went to sit on the neatly-made bed and dropped my head in my hands. The door opened immediately, and I jumped into a standing position, ready with an excuse about wandering in there thinking it was the bathroom. But it wasn’t Lisa or her sister, who I’d never met. It was Lacey.
Sighing, I sat down on the bed, relieved. Lacey crossed the room to sit next to me, her pretty face screwed into her most concerned expression. This girl could read me like a book, and even without knowing about the mess I’d made of my friendship with Carter, she’d been able to tell I wasn’t feeling it tonight. She kept sending me looks all night, even going so far as to ask me if I wanted to leave right after Carter arrived and all the color felt like it had drained from my face.
“What’s going on, Soph?” she asked, gently.
I tried and failed to force a smile. “I’m just not having as much fun at this party as I thought I would. The music is too loud, and everyone is getting way too drunk.”
Lacey’s face didn’t change, but I could see by the look in her dark eyes that she wasn’t buying this explanation. “I mean, it’s a party. But what’s really going on? You haven’t seemed like yourself since you got home. It’s not just about tonight, though you do seem especially upset all of a sudden. What’s going on?”
I shook my head, trying to shake off the accusations, though I’d felt completely unhinged since flying in from New York City, like my body and emotions were no longer under my control at all.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” My pulse was racing. I was finding it difficult to breathe normally. My throat was so dry, I could barely swallow. I needed a drink of water. So much beer had given me a headache and made it almost impossible to think. I felt like I was balancing on the edge of a panic attack. I needed to breathe, to calm the hell down.
“I think you do,” Lacey replied, still speaking to me the way she might to an animal that had been spooked and might run off at any moment. “And, I think I know why you’re upset.”
My heart lifted into my throat at the sound of that. There was no way she could know about my feelings for Carter. I’d hidden all of that way, stuffing it down so deep it was only just now coming to the surface again at the sight of him. My hiding places were so good, I’d even been able to hide the way I felt about him from myself for months at a time. As soon as they came racing out of the dark, I just forced them into a different place and went on with my life until they jumped out at me again.
“Listen, I really believe that Daddy would be happy for Mom. He’d want her to move on with her life. She waited a long time to start dating.”
“What?”
“This isn’t about replacing Daddy.”
I blinked and let the silence stretch out between us, getting nice and comfortable. It took a minute before I realized that she must have thought I was having trouble dealing with the wedding, not that I was still hung up over the regret that had eaten me alive from casting the man I cared about most out of my life. I found I could calm down a little. She didn’t know about how much I still missed Carter and how seeing him was torture. I could deal with this.
“I know, Lace,” I said. “I don’t think of this wedding as something against Dad. I really don’t.”
Lacey took my hand and squeezed, her eyes widening a little so I could see how worried she was for me. “I was surprised at how fast everything seemed to go between Mom and John.” She smiled at how my face changed at the sound of her calling Mr. Mills by his first name. I didn’t think I’d ever get over that. “But she’s like a little kid around him. It’s really weird to see, but good, too.”
I did have to admit that Mom seemed a lot happier now. It wasn’t that she’d been unhappy before, but something had definitely been missing in her life. If Mr. Mills — John, ugh! — could fill that empty place for her, I wanted him to do it, no matter how weird if felt for me. I didn’t even live in Madison. I had no right to tell Mom what to do with her life.
“It’s not like I expected Mom to pull a Queen Victoria and mourn the loss of Dad for forty years or anything. I just didn’t expect to never hear about her dating and then get invited to a wedding all in the same conversation!”
Lacey laughed at that, her eyes ditching some of the worry that had shaded them just a moment ago. “It is pretty damned fast. I was as surprised as you, and I still live here! But Mom’s been a widow for more than half of our lives and John’s been divorced for over five years. Not to mention they’ve known each other since you and Carter were in preschool. I don’t think they need a very long dating relationship before they’re ready to marry. They’ve literally been getting to know each other for decades.”
“I get that,” I said. “I’m just still in shock, I guess.” It was easier to relax now that I knew for certain that Lacey didn’t have the first clue about the howling hurricane of emotions I’d been riding out since Mom mentioned her engagement to John Mills, meaning I’d be tossed into a relationship with Carter — this time as stepsiblings — whether I wanted it or not, linking us in a way that meant we’d need to see each other on holidays or other important family events. It was all too much. But I was relieved that I could continue to deal with it alone and didn’t have to face the crushing embarrassment that discussing it with another person would bring, even someone as close to me as Lacey.
Lacey squeezed my hand again before letting go. “We just need to be Mom’s cheerleaders now. She spent so many years being ours.”
I nodded my agreement. “Tha
t’s something I can definitely do.”
“And, who thought that you and Carter would one day be brother and sister? How weird is that?” She was grinning again, even as my mouth tried to pull back in a grimace.
“It’s so weird I don’t even have words to describe it.”
She giggled again. “You look a little less overwhelmed by all of this.”
“Yeah, I feel better. Thanks, Lace.”
“Who says the older sister always knows best?”
Before I could give a snarky reply to that, she leaned in for a hug, and I clasped her tightly.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I whispered, suddenly close to tears for no apparent reason. I hadn’t even been home a week and it already felt like I’d run the emotional gamut at least ten times, the rollercoaster bringing me up so high only to come screaming back down to ground level, giving me no choice but to hold on for dear life.
“That just means you need to come back to Madison more often.”
I pulled out of the hug, smiling. “You could come to New York, too, you know.”
She scoffed, her dark eyes shining. “I’m a broke college student. You’re a big time curator. Who’s more able to pay for a flight?”
I had to laugh at that. I didn’t make quite as much as she might have imagined, and rent in the city was insane. But she did have a point. All I said in reply was, “Touché.”
Lacey stood up, looking down at me for a few seconds before speaking. “Are you okay?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I feel a lot better. I just need a minute before I come back downstairs.”
“See you in a few minutes, then.” She turned and left the room, closing the door behind her.
I closed my eyes, just wanting the stillness I felt after the conversation with my sister to wash over me before I ventured back out into the chaos on the first floor. Carter was out there. I needed to make peace with my feelings for him. It was a tall task, and not one I could even begin to take care of tonight, but it was the only way I’d ever find happiness in my life.
Carter
The Same Evening
I stayed in the bathroom much longer than was necessary, but no one was knocking on the door trying to get in, so I figured it was okay to loiter. I really didn’t want to be at the party anymore, but leaving felt rude. Lisa kept coming up to me and telling me how excited she was that I’d come over and that she had some things she needed to tell me later. If I just left, that would probably really upset her.
I splashed some cool water on my face, trying to regain my bearings by force. I needed to leave the bathroom. I’d been in here way too long.
I stepped out of the bathroom just as Lisa was coming into view on the stairs. She smiled when she saw me, her entire face lighting up. I had to admit, she looked just as good now as she had in high school…not that it had really been that long ago, but many of the kids I’d known had put on weight or changed in some other seemingly drastic way that I hadn’t expected.
I’d filled out, putting on some muscle during the latter half of college so I wasn’t quite so tall and skinny, but I looked pretty much the same. Lisa had stayed trim, her slim waist leading to flared hips and a curvy ass that I could remember grabbing with both hands in high school. The dark burgundy sweater she was wearing showcased her breasts quite nicely, too. Despite not being interested in starting things up between us again after so many years of no communication, I couldn’t help appreciating her chest every time I saw her. It probably didn’t help that she kept pressing them into my arm every time she found me in different places throughout the night.
The music was still going downstairs, but it wasn’t as loud up here. When she started talking to me, I didn’t have any trouble hearing what she was saying, but she kept closing the distance between us until we were uncomfortably close, as though the music was still a hindrance. Downstairs, she’d kept whispering things to me, getting so close her bright red lips were moving over my ears, her hot breath all over my face.
“I keep trying to get you alone,” she said, giggling and tossing her shiny brown hair over her shoulder. It had a red tint to it that matched her sweater.
I laughed nervously, glancing behind her at the stairs. No one was coming up to the second floor. It was just the two of us. I looked back at her again to find she’d gotten even closer. I didn’t back up, as I’d be flat against the closed bathroom door if I did. Lisa smelled like flowers. It was yet another thing about her that was overwhelming my senses.
“We had some good times in high school, didn’t we?” she asked, pouting a little. She’d worn a lot of makeup when we were dating, and not much had changed. Her face looked powdery soft, her lips supple and kissable.
“Yeah, we did,” I agreed. We’d only dated a few weeks, and things had never gotten very serious. I thought she was gorgeous — I still did — and I was stunned that she even wanted to be around me, but that hadn’t turned into a real relationship. It was more me worshiping her and her dumping me after she got bored and moved onto the next guy. I didn’t really take offense. Not many of the guys in school could hold her interest for long.
“It’s a shame that we never went even further when we were kids.” She took me by the arm, squeezing the solid muscles under my long sleeved t-shirt. Her eyes were glassy. I could see she’d had even more to drink than I had, and I was definitely buzzed. “You’re looking so good now, Carter. You were always cute, but now, you look like a man.”
“Thanks,” I said. “You look good, too, Lisa.” I swallowed hard, staring down at her as she stared up at me. “But we weren’t really serious back in high school. We were more friends who acted like they were dating, right? It wasn’t like we were in love or anything.”
Lisa had let go of my arm and moved to my chest, tracing the muscles with her fingers, the polish on them bright red to match her lipstick. Her eyes were wider now, and dreamy, like she could fall forward into my arms at any moment.
“You don’t regret not sleeping together?” She lifted her dark eyebrows, smiling wider when I didn’t answer either way. “I know we weren’t serious in high school, but we’re adults now. We could have some fun, Carter, you and me.” She inched closer, pressing her body into mine, the heat coming off of her in waves. “Remember that time out by the lake? That was more than just two kids pretending to date.”
I actually hadn’t remembered that until this moment. I nodded. “Yeah, I remember.”
“That was the closest we got. Do you remember getting my shirt off? And how gentle you were exploring my breasts and squeezing my nipples? You were hard as a rock, Carter.” She moaned a little, shifting her body against me, her hips pressing into my thighs. “I really want to have a good time tonight. I haven’t been with anyone in a long time. And, you’re so goddamned gorgeous.”
Her body moving against mine was making my dick hard all on its own, but sleeping with Lisa was the last thing the rest of my body wanted to do, my mind most of all. It had been months since I’d been with anyone. Blowing off steam sounded like a great idea. And here was Lisa, smoking hot and horny as hell, rubbing her tits and crotch all over me, ready to go. I was buzzed and aroused. Why couldn’t I just go with it? I wondered. It wasn’t like she expected me to marry her afterwards. As long as I put on a condom, I was good to go.
But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Even thinking about that night by the lake, how amazing her tits looked in the moonlight and how busily her hands moved over my jeans and between my legs didn’t do it for me.
She’d wanted to sleep with me that night, but I stammered that I’d forgotten a condom, even though I had one in my wallet. She said we could go ahead without one, but I refused. It just hadn’t felt right to me. I was desperate to lose my virginity, but not like that, it turned out. Lisa hadn’t seemed bothered by that, just slid off of my lap and put her shirt back on. I drove her home and whatever small thing we’d had fizzled and died shortly after that night.
Lisa’s hand dropped to
the front of my jeans, stroking the hardness that was growing at the proximity of her hot little body. I moaned, not able to help it at the feeling of her fingers caressing the hard shape of my cock. But I backed up, moving her hand away.
“Lisa,” I started, but she shushed me, bringing her body close again, her hips moving over the front of me.
“It’s okay, Carter. I’m not asking you to go steady with me. I just need you to fuck me tonight. That’s all. I can’t keep going on like there’s no attraction between us, no fire.” She titled her head back, the heat in her eyes getting me even harder, though the rest of my body wasn’t really into it. “Don’t you feel it?”
I did feel it, but I was actively attempting to extinguish the feeling, even as I acknowledged that this might be one great way of relieving the tension I’d felt since hearing about Dad’s surprise wedding to the mother of the girl I was still burning a fucking candle for. Part of me wanted to let go, to see where this would take me, but a larger part of me said no, that this was a bad idea. Though, at this exact moment, I couldn’t find a reason why it was.
“Yeah, you feel it,” she said, giggling seductively as she reached up to sweep some hair back from my forehead. “You’re rock hard, just like that night at the lake. Except I have my own protection tonight, Mr. Safety First. I’ll never make that mistake again.” She pressed her boobs more firmly into me and ground her hips into my cock, drawing another moan from me.
“My bedroom is right over there,” she whispered. “Let’s find out what we missed out on back in high school.”
“This isn’t a good idea,” I said, a little breathless from the sensation of her body moving over mine. “I’m not in town long.”