by Nella Tyler
Unfortunately, that voice of reason did nothing for the next few dresses I tried on, from either pile.
Yet, when I hadn’t emerged in a while, there was a knock on the door.
“Mazie, it’s just me. I took a walk and found this…I think you might like it,” Laura said without even a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
I told her to throw it over the door, and when she did, I was immediately drawn to it.
It was black and sleek, sensual and feminine, but it had an air of sophistication that I liked.
Instead of going through any more of my dress options, I decided to skip to this one.
I was curious about how it would fit.
I slid it on and up, noticing the cleavage and the slit up the side, but I wasn’t drawn away from it.
In fact, I liked how it hugged my body and showed off the best parts of my femininity.
It was nice; easy to wear and exponentially comfortable.
Yet, it was nothing like what I was used to wearing, and that was blatantly obvious.
Fortunately, the more I looked at myself in the mirror, the more in tune with the dress I became. Instead of shying away from my womanliness, the fit of this dress helped me to embrace it.
“Well?” I heard Laura yell eventually from right outside the door and I took a deep breath, hoping that she thought the same way about the dress as I did.
In my mind, it was perfect, and I didn’t want Laura to cast any doubt.
I opened the door and watched as Laura backed away, her eyes gliding over me easily.
I felt as though I was being judged, but remained still and firm, trying to look confident.
Finally, after a long, agonizing wait, Laura’s eyes grew wide, and she grinned.
“Oh my God! It’s perfect!” she exclaimed, and I felt like jumping for joy.
“I know. I thought so too!”
“See?” she retorted smugly, “I know what I’m talking about.”
I rolled my eyes as I turned to return to the dressing room.
As much as I didn’t want to admit it, Laura was right. She had found the perfect dress, and I couldn’t wait to show Dexter!
However, after we drove home and Laura left, I started to have second thoughts.
So, I pulled up the dress and held it against my body, drawing in a deep breath as I brought it to the mirror and studied my reflection.
Although the quick show of the dress didn’t nearly do it the justice it deserved, the way I looked with it on stuck in my head.
I didn’t think I had ever found a dress that fit me so well and yet, as I remembered the price tag and the time I had spent, nearly an entire day, to get ready for this date, I couldn’t help but wonder…why?
After everything that had happened and the difficulty of us dating, it was hard to imagine why Dexter would want to try to work it out.
He could have any girl he wanted; I was certain of that. He had money, power, and excitement where I, on the other hand, was basically a leper to his social crowd. No one, including his parents, understood my decision to give up the money and the power to become a teacher.
I knew that every time I came up, among the wives in our family’s social circles especially, I was deemed strange and beyond their scope of comprehension.
Therefore, despite all the family dynamics that would have to be maneuvered in order to even date openly, should it get that far, he would be dating social pariah.
I was certain the only reason I received any respect in their company was due to my father’s influence, and that was shallow at best. With Dexter’s social standing and the expectation that he would one day take over his father’s portion of the company, I couldn’t understand why he would be interested in dating me.
Looking at the mirror again and noticing how out of place I looked, even simply holding the dress up to me, I genuinely regretted agreeing to a second date.
After all, I thought, what would a guy like Dexter want with a girl like me?
Dexter
I had spent most the day getting ready for the date; if not physically, I had done my best to prepare myself mentally.
Yet, for the past hour, I had been working on my outfit and grooming. I had no idea what was wrong with me but it all boiled down to the nervousness that I felt, bellowing in the pit of my stomach.
As I straightened my tie and fixed my hair, my mind wandered back to the last time I had felt this overwhelming sense of nervousness.
It was the first time I had given a presentation for my father’s company. After all, there wasn’t much else that usually bothered me. I had the confidence to do whatever I pleased and the funds to buy whatever I needed. Therefore, if the bank account was still healthy and well-fed, so was I.
That day, though, I worried about everything, fretted over putting every hair in its place and straightening every portion of my suit until I looked more like a billboard than a man.
Little did I know I would have a natural talent for these presentations and it would soon become fun to me instead of nerve-wracking.
Eventually, it was a game, which was why I was so confident about getting Mr. Wilson to sign the deal. Aside from solely putting my blood, sweat, and tears into this damned thing, I had done it enough to know when I was winning and I was most assuredly winning with Mr. Wilson.
With Mazie, however, I wasn’t so sure.
While she might have agreed to have another date, that didn’t mean that she was actually into me. She could be having fun and or she could be unsure.
Staring at myself in the mirror, debating whether to bring flowers, I realized how I was acting and how dumb I was being.
What the hell is wrong with me? I wondered, trying to shake the feeling of nervousness from my mind. She’s just a girl. Get it together.
However, even as I tried to convince myself that Mazie was, in fact, just a girl, I knew it was a lie.
Even though I wouldn’t admit it, deep down, I knew, from the moment I set eyes on her again on her father’s balcony during the party, that she still meant so much more to me than simply that of a girl.
I’d had plenty of women. I’d loved and left a trail of broken hearts in the wake of my lust. There were plenty of women that I had flat out lied to, simply to add them as a notch in my belt, but with Mazie, it was different.
Who the hell was I kidding? With Mazie, it had always been different.
I had always wanted her, lusted after her, and even yearned for her, but everyone takes different paths in their life and the older I became, the more I realized that our paths couldn’t be farther apart.
While we might have been forced into friendship, before either one of us could remember our adult years had caused a divide in our lives, peeling us apart. Thus, I never felt that it was appropriate to pursue her.
However, when I saw her there, after two years, I had to say hello.
I thought that was going to be the end of it though, probably for another two years, since we both had such hectic lives, but fate put us back together and I thought, why not?
Looking in the mirror, trying to ensure that I looked my best for the date, I could think of a lot of reasons why not but I ignored them all.
After standing up to my father yesterday, I felt different.
It was almost as though I finally came to terms with what I had long since realized but never had the balls to act on: my father cannot control my life. I cannot continuously worry about the approval he never gives or the acceptance that I have earned but never once received.
Of course, at work, there were certain things he could do, and I couldn’t say anything about. He was the boss, after all, and I had learned to respect that. Yet, in my personal life, regardless of who it was that I chose to date and hopefully chose to be with exclusively, was none of his damn business.
It might have been slightly different if Mazie were involved in the company, but she wasn’t. She had no interest in it at all and therefore, keeping her off limits wasn’t f
air.
So, I sent the text yesterday with the intention to find out, once and for all if there was truly anything between us, or would the infatuation fizzle out.
After twenty years of having something always bringing us back together, I didn’t think it would, but I thought two decades was high-time to get my shit together.
I looked at my wristwatch, but before I was certain of the time, I knew instinctively that it was time to go.
I always had a knack for knowing the right moment to do something, from pressing a client to leaving for a meeting to get there at exactly the right time.
Right now, with the out of character nervousness that I was experiencing, all I could do was rely on the talents that I knew I possessed to get me through. By now, logical thought and normal practices were lost to me.
Instead of the Aston Martin, which seemed to make Mazie a little uneasy when we were last together, I settled for a more conservative BMW and took my time driving to her house. I had left with plenty of time so that I could think and try to calm myself before arriving.
However, I found myself, once I was on my way, simply wanting to get to her doorstep so that I could see her again.
As I drove, I allowed my mind to travel, wondering what she would wear on the date tonight and what might possibly be underneath…
Yet, when I pulled into the parking space in front of her building, I stopped, turned off the car, and took a deep breath in order to collect myself.
Even though I would love to see her naked and feel her body press against mine as I kissed those perfectly formed lips, I didn’t want to go into this in a strictly sexual manner. If sex was a result of a passionate evening, I certainly wasn’t going to complain, but first, I wanted to get to know the woman Mazie had become.
In addition, I was also preparing myself to be more open and honest with her.
After all, I felt as though I owed that to her, at least. If I was serious about trying to make this relationship either work or run its course, I had to allow her to break down a few of my barriers.
If anyone could, I was sure that Mazie would be the one to do it.
When I arrived at her door, even though I had taken the elevator, my jumbled nerves made me feel as though I had run a mile.
I paused before knocking, drew in another deep breath, and slowly released it, attempting to settle myself.
When I was certain I was as calm as I was going to get, I knocked on the door and waited patiently for what seemed to be an eternity.
In that time, a million different thoughts ran through my head. I wondered if I had the wrong apartment, the wrong time, or the wrong day, even though I was certain I wasn’t mistaken and yet, I couldn’t hear any movement behind the door.
When I was almost running out of willpower, ready to rap on the door again, it finally opened, and of all the visions I had of Mazie in the way over here, none could compare to what I saw in her now.
She was truly angelic, standing there with an innocent grin. However, my eyes immediately fixated on the form-fitting dress, with the slit up the side and perfectly pronounced cleavage that made me think of anything but innocence.
The way that the dress clung to her alluring body, hugging her curves in all the right places, only added to the intensity of my feelings.
I felt my heart start to race as my mind returned to the fantasy-laden thoughts that had infested my mind on the way over to her house.
This time, however, having a legitimate and astounding image to perceive in my mind’s eye, both with and without her clothing, I felt warranted in my thoughts.
Her hair was done up elegantly, matching the essence of her attire. Pulled back, it allowed the entirety of her delicate facial features and throat to be visible.
Instantly, I thought of kissing the warm, soft crux of her neck, which was boldly presented to me, accentuated by the cut of the dress.
Trying to force that image out of my mind, my eyes traveled down, unwittingly, her long, slim legs to take in the slight amount of high-heel that she was wearing.
When I realized I had gone down too far and my jaw was hinged in shock, I quickly closed my mouth and snapped my eyes back up to meet her gaze, hoping to God she didn’t notice.
“Hi, Dex!” she exclaimed, rushing out of the door and hugging me.
I was still taken back by the sight of her, extremely sexy and unwaveringly beautiful, that she was already practically knocking me back with the force of her embrace before I found the right words with which to respond.
“Hey…Mazie. You look beautiful!” I stammered, knowing that if I was going to have any success, I was going to need to pull myself together, at least a little bit, and thus, I tried to shift my focus.
However, as I was attempting this, I received a whiff of her hair and the perfume she had put on, which transported me into another realm of intimate thoughts.
I felt my jaw lock as I pushed away from her.
“Thanks,” she replied, her eyes making it a point to look me up and down as well, “You look handsome as ever.”
I grinned as a silence erupted between us that was awkward and slightly strange.
Damn. I should've gone with the flowers… I thought, but I hoped that I would be right in thinking she would forgive me for my lack of dating etiquette.
“Ready to go?” she asked after allowing a moment of the silence to settle between us.
“Sure! Do you need anything from inside?”
Dude, you’re trying too hard! Relax! I told myself, knowing that if either of us got all weird about ‘dating’ that it wouldn’t go well.
“No. I’m good,” Mazie replied easily, standing back and motioning to the dress, which forced me to take in the beauty and sensual intoxication her body seemed to possess me with again. “This dress doesn’t have much storage, so I’m packing light tonight.”
Forcing myself out of the thoughts that were not conducive to making this a fun night, at least not this early, I grinned and offered her my arm, “I guess not. Well, let’s go, then.”
Taking my arm, the two of us walked to my car.
During this time, we talked and joked, settling things into a comfortability that I hoped was genuinely mutual.
“So, where are we going to eat?” Mazie asked as I pulled out of the parking lot.
“We are going to go to my favorite restaurant this time,” I answered.
“You have a favorite restaurant?” she teased. “Is it accessible by car?”
I narrowed my eyes as my glance shifted to the passenger seat. I chuckled.
“Of course, it is. In fact, it’s closer to your house than mine,” I retorted with a sense of pride, as though I had won something.
“Oh really?” Although she was still obviously joking, there was a hint of surprise in her voice that sounded genuine.
“What goes through your mind when you think of me?”
Her shoulders rose and fell as she thought about how to put what she obviously, genuinely felt, at least to some degree.
“I don’t know. I always assumed you were one of those people who, unless it was exceptionally good food, viewed eating as filling a void or something. I didn’t think you actually enjoyed it unless it cost more than some people’s annual salary.”
If she was telling the truth, she obviously didn’t sugarcoat it.
“Holy shit! Do you really think I’m that much of a snob?”
“Well…yes,” she jeered, before bursting out into laughter.
“Wow!” I answered, slightly unsure of whether to be offended or take it as the joke she was playing it off as.
“Oh God, I’m sorry. I was kidding…I mean about the annual salary part. I only meant that I assumed you only liked things…”
“If they are over the top and disgustingly all about me, I get it,” I retorted, feeling a strange sense of relief that she would say something like that to me.
Maybe she can help keep me grounded, I thought. Even though Mazie was dead wrong
about this particular subject, there were a few things that perhaps she could keep me from getting a big head about, thus ending up like my father.
“You couldn’t be more wrong, though. If it were really up to me, we’d be getting McDonald's, but since this is a proper date, I think that it’s only fair I take you to a nice restaurant,” I glared at her in a teasing manner as I added, “Not that you deserve it, after that comment.”
She laughed and teasingly hit my arm.
“Oh, come off your high horse, there, Dex. I was only joking…Mostly.”
I shook my head as I turned the corner and pulled into a little Italian restaurant that many people in my father’s circles would never know existed.
“Good! I’ve always wanted to try this place. It always looks so adorable,” she insisted as her eyes illuminated with recognition, “How did you find it?”
“I’m full of surprises,” I teased, “No. Honestly, I was just driving around one night, looking for something different and wanting to get the hell away from my father’s side of town and found this place. I love it! I come here for lunch a lot, and sometimes dinner, but…” I stopped before finishing the thought; most dates I have wouldn’t deserve to come here, because they wouldn’t appreciate it. I continued to try to keep from making this night weird.
“But what?” she inquired in a genuine fashion that told me she wasn’t going to let me off the hook so easily.
“But…” I thought, trying not to sound as though I was having too much trouble amending my original thought and to, above all, keep from lying to her, “Let’s just say that most the people I go to dinner with wouldn’t appreciate it like I know you will.”
“Because I’m a teacher who is lucky to go out to eat once a month?” she inquired, raising her eyebrows. “Is that a dig at me. Did I really insult you before?”
“What? No!” I insisted earnestly, “I don’t give a shit about how you think I enjoy my meals, considering I want to show you. I know you’ll appreciate this place because of who you are, Mazie. Who you’ve always been. You're…different. Unique.”