by Nella Tyler
Therefore, I wondered what it was that they didn’t say that they already suspected, or outright knew.
Regardless, if my parents did suspect anything, they didn’t say and therefore, the rest of the day went wonderfully.
However, when I was getting ready to leave, trying not to come across as too urgent, my father stopped me.
“Hey, Mazie, why don’t you stay for dinner?”
For some reason, I had the distinct feeling this was some kind of test. What if he really didn’t believe me and was using this as an excuse to delve deeper and ask more pointed questions.
I felt my heart start to race and my paranoia skyrocket.
“I’d love to, but I can’t. I have plans with Laura, and I can’t be late.”
“Oh, you mentioned that. I’m sorry,” he replied without saying anything more.
His trust in me made me feel even more guilty. I felt like a teenager, sneaking out of the house to go to a party.
Granted, that was something I had done a few times with Laura, but now that I was older, I felt even guiltier. Part of the guilt, I suppose had to do with the fact that I was an adult and thus, I should be comfortable doing whatever I wanted with whomever I wanted. However, family politics generally only become more daunting with age, I had found.
The other part was, I hated lying to my father, but I knew I didn’t have time, or enough invested experience in the relationship to warrant telling him about it.
Besides, this wasn’t how I wanted to tell him that his partner’s son and I were dating.
I knew it was going to be a delicate situation whenever I decided to tell him and unfortunately, once our relationship was out in the open, there was going to be a good amount of issues that needed to be resolved.
I wasn’t quite ready to have that conversation yet, and I certainly wasn’t going to have it while on my way out the door.
So, instead of pining over my guilt, I hastily said goodbye to my parents and left the house.
When I got in the car, I felt as though I hadn’t taken a breath in far too long. If I was holding my breath, I had no idea. I was far too distracted by everything that was going on around me to worry too much about breathing, apparently.
However, once I got out of the house without any further questioning, I was bombarded with another sense of guilt.
I knew immediately after the fear my father would connect the dots about what was going on with Dexter that I had screwed up. I was certain that regardless of whether anything came of the conversation with my father, I had still said something I shouldn’t have.
Now, I knew I had to tell Dexter that I had told my father about the deal. After all, it would look even worse if it got back to him that my father knew and I was the one who told him without at least having the courtesy to own up to it.
Still, I wondered why he hadn’t told anyone. I found it strange that my father didn’t know anything about the outcome of the deal. Considering his career seemed to be riding on this one pitch, it was odd that the partners of the business weren’t the first calls he made.
After all, I would’ve wanted to secure my job as soon as possible but then again, Dexter and I were extremely different in this aspect.
Although it didn’t answer my question and still left me confused, I also wouldn’t put it past him, where for me the concept of waiting in that situation would be crazy.
However, in a way, it was things like that that had attracted me to him in the first place. While he ultimately fell in line, he insisted on doing it his own way. Although ultimately, I was sure he wanted his father’s approval, he wasn’t about to beg for it, and he was always trying to earn it without acting like he was trying too hard.
Life seemed to have always been fun for Dexter. He enjoyed it, more than most, and even if things happened to him that he didn’t particularly agree with or enjoy, he dealt with it in his own way.
Therefore, the more I thought about the reason why he would possibly decide against telling his father about closing, the deal the more I decided that was an incredibly Dexter move.
Yet, that still didn’t give me the right to break the news, which was why I was so nervous as I got ready for my date.
I wanted to have fun, and I wanted to wow him like I had before. So, I slid into a tight sweater and form-fitting leggings, which showed off my curves and kept me warm without having to put on a jacket.
Afterward, I slipped on boots that had enough heel to make me look a few inches taller, as well as helping my posture.
Once I was dressed in what I felt was appropriate for our adventure in Burnsville, I fixed my hair, picked out earrings, and put on a little makeup, trying to make myself alluring without looking desperate.
I’m not desperate though, I thought to myself but couldn’t help the lingering question; but if you have to ask… reverberating in my mind.
Soon enough, however, a knock at the door tore me from my thoughts, and I tried to focus.
“You can’t lie,” I told myself, staring intently in the mirror. For the moment, I was content to ignore the door. “If you expect to have any kind of real relationship with this man, you are going to have to be honest with him.”
I grinned at my reflection and turned to open the door, confident that I would be able to make the right choice when the time came.
Unfortunately, all my earnestly good intentions went out the window the moment I opened the door and set my eyes upon him.
Dammit! He looks amazing! I thought, knowing with instant certainly that there was no way I could tell him the truth now and ruin such a perfect view.
While he was wearing a nice Polo shirt and slacks, there was a casual attitude about his attire that made him all the more alluring. He was clean-shaven, and the musty scent of his natural aura was divine, but there was a roughness about him that attracted me to his disposition even further. His quirky, smug expression was expected; after all, I didn’t think he could wear another face, but it was knowing and entranced. His eyes sparkled when he caught sight of me and his face lit up, giving me the impression that he felt similarly to the sensations I was presently feeling.
I can’t screw this up. Not yet, I told myself as I returned his grin and walked out of my house, announcing that I was ready for our date.
Pleased by not having to wait, Dexter took my arm and together we started back to where he had parked his car.
For the moment, I forgot about what I wanted to tell him, and thankfully, my conscious allowed it. After all, this was the start of a pleasant evening. Why sabotage the date before it even started?
Dexter
“I can’t believe you’ve never been to Bernville,” I told Mazie as we drove, trying to keep the conversation fresh.
“Well, I’m sure there are a few places you’ve never been in this town. Just because you live close to somewhere doesn’t mean you have to go there. After all, I know people in Florida who’ve never been to Disney World.”
“Sure, but that’s kind of a personal thing. For instance, someone like my father wouldn’t be caught dead in Disney, but even he has gone to Bernville,” I teased.
“Did he enjoy it?” she retorted easily.
“I don’t think so,” I answered smoothly, “I don’t think my father has the capacity to genuinely enjoy anything.”
She giggled, and her eyes lit up. She looked gorgeous anyway, but now, she looked truly magnificent. The way her smile lit up her face was wondrous.
Mazie was a one of a kind, and there was something inside of me that couldn’t believe she was sitting right there next to me. It almost felt as though it was a dream.
“You know,” she admitted after a long pause, “I wouldn’t think that was true of anyone else but believe it or not, knowing your father, I could definitely see that.”
“He thinks having fun and living life is a weakness. Ever since my mother died, his disdain for humanity has only deepened…” I shook my head, realizing then that I hadn’t meant to say any
thing about it to her, but I also didn’t regret it.
“I’m sorry,” she offered, turning her eyes away slightly, as though trying to give me a sliver of privacy.
“Nah, don’t be. It’s only my father. I’ve gotten used to him being a dick,” I replied. “Besides, I know your father’s the one I need to impress anyway, and he likes me.”
“Yes, he does,” Mazie responded earnestly, though I couldn’t help but detect a slight hesitation in her voice at the mention of her father.
I let it go, though, thinking that whatever it meant was between her father and Mazie. I wasn’t about to push her into divulging anything; this was supposed to be a fun night!
However, I couldn’t think of anything to say, and I could tell there was an awkwardness brewing, so I grasped her hand and pulled it close to me.
She beamed and wove her fingers between mine.
“So, are you excited?” I asked.
“Of course,” she exclaimed, “After all, it seems funny that I’ve never been here, but you have.” She narrowed her eyes in a teasing manner and asked, “There isn’t a bunch of people in suits singing carols, or Scrooge going around advocating for working on Christmas, is there?”
I laughed.
“Again, you think so much of me, I’m flattered.”
“Well…”
“What? You’re the only one who could ever do anything fun?”
“Out of the two of us, who is more likely?”
“Me,” I answered in a teasing fashion, hoping to hear her giggle again.
She did, in addition to rolling her eyes.
“Yeah, sure. Your family is related to Santa Claus himself.”
“Damn straight. Why do you think I did such a good job?”
“You mean,” she paused dramatically as she peered at me and bat her eyelashes, “as you were working through the mandatory, court-appointed community service?”
My shoulders rose and fell with a certain indifference as I pulled into the parking lot at Bernville. “Doesn’t matter why I was there. All that matters is that I was a badass Santa.”
“Right…” she answered, rolling her eyes again.
I parked the car as Mazie attempted to get a peek at the heavily decorated street, filled with shops and Christmas cheer.
“Oh, no you don’t!” I jeered, loud enough to draw her peering eyes away from the sparkling lights.
“What?” she asked, feigning innocence.
“Stop looking! If you only see it partially, it will ruin the surprise!” I insisted, and she shut her eyes tightly in response. “That’s better.”
“How long do I have to stay like this?” she asked as I got out of the car.
“Until I say otherwise,” I answered, slamming the door and running over to open the passenger’s side for her.
When I opened the door, she was chuckling again. Her eyes were still closed, but she was instinctively searching for the root of every noise.
“Can I open my eyes now?”
“No,” I answered easily. “Keep ‘em closed.”
I reached over and unhooked her seatbelt, and she squirmed and giggled. I picked her up, out of the car, causing her to wrap her arms securely around my neck and hug me close as I twirled her around.
“Oh my God! Dexter, please! Stop it!” she exclaimed, clinging to me in a playfully fearful manner.
I twirled her around more, and she roared with laughter.
When I finally set her down, she still leaned heavily against me.
“Oh, I’m dizzy!” Mazie exclaimed, grasping, almost with desperation, onto the lapels of my coat and burying her head deeply into my chest.
“Take your time,” I offered, leading her up the block, “I’ve got you.”
“You’d better,” she retorted in a teasing manner, “If I fall and pull this sweater, I’m going to be upset,” she insisted.
“I completely understand!” I insisted with feigned seriousness.
“How much farther?” she asked as we rounded the corner.
“Only a few more steps,” I answered, hugging her close to me.
“Can I look yet?” Mazie asked, literally a few steps later, in something of a childish voice.
“Yes, you may look,” I told her, to which I received an excited gasp.
I felt her head turn against my chest, getting a whiff of her sweet scent as her eyes focused on the gorgeous sight before us.
Garland and accompanying lights wound around every old-fashioned light post that lined either side of the street, while holiday music and the sound of Christmas bells bellowed out of every shop.
People, who were all bundled up, were scurrying about. Some were loaded down with packages, while others were more interested in window shopping. There were families, couples, and friends, all enjoying the crisp December air.
“This is amazing!” Mazie exclaimed, her eyes wide as she took in all the sights before us.
“I told you. I have no idea how you’ve never been here. This has your name written all over it,” I responded, but she wasn’t listening. Although she hadn’t moved, Mazie was studying her surroundings intently.
As we grew closer, a marvelous scent wafted out of the bakery that was one of the first shops on the street.
Hand in hand, we joined the crowd of bustling people and walked through nearly every store.
Neither one of us bought anything besides hot chocolate, but there was so much to explore, by the time we were nearing the end of our round up and down the street, we were exhausted.
“Did you enjoy that?” I asked her as Mazie playfully swung our hands back and forth.
“Couldn’t you tell?” she retorted before taking a sip of her hot chocolate. I watched as her mouth curved easily around the lip of the cup and instantly wanted to taste the chocolate off her tongue.
However, I was interrupted from my amorous thoughts by what she said to me next.
“Can you believe Christmas is a week from Sunday?”
“No. I can’t. These past few years have gone by way too fast,” I answered, unable to hide the sense of dread in my voice.
“I know what you mean. I feel like as soon as it’s over, we’re getting ready to eat turkey and go shopping again,” she chuckled but stopped short when she looked at me. “Dex?” she called, straining to look me in the eyes, “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I replied, trying to focus on sounding genuine.
“Come on! What is it?” she demanded, obviously not trying to spare my feelings.
“Nothing,” I told her, but the way she stopped and stared at me made me rethink my answer, “It’s nothing bad,” I grinned to show that I meant it.
“Then, what is it?” she asked with an understanding grin spreading across her face.
“It’s just…I don’t know. This place reminds me of my mother. She used to take me here, and my father would go along for the ride, simply because she made him,” I said as I recalled the memory. “It was one of the few times I felt like a real family.”
We had started walking again by this point, and for whatever reason, I felt myself opening up to her.
“So, I guess you never had such a good relationship with your dad?” she inquired softly, in an understanding tone.
“I guess you could say that,” I laughed but finished out with a sigh, “Unfortunately, it has only gotten worse since my mother’s passing,” I felt my shoulders rise and fall with a sense of indifference that I could only hope to feel. “I mean, he was never the most loving father, but it seems like the moment my mother died, every sliver of warmth died with her.” I huffed.
We had stopped again, and by this time, Mazie was in front of me, listening intently. Both hands wrapped around her hot chocolate cup intently, while her eyes stared up at me with earnest intent.
“I mean, I guess it makes sense. After being together as long as they were, she was the only reason for my father to get out of bed in the morning. It certainly wasn’t me and my stunning achievements.�
��
“Everybody needs somebody, right?” Mazie replied simply, and I agreed.
“I just wish we were a little closer, my father and I, I mean, so that I could help him,” I told her, even though I wasn’t completely sure why I was doing so.
“I’m sorry…” she replied, her eyes downcast and her expression sorrowful.
“Don’t be. I have a great life,” I answered honestly, “I have never had a good relationship with my father, so at the end of the day, it isn’t like I’m losing anything, right?”
She agreed, but I wasn’t convinced she didn’t still feel uncomfortable, so I changed the subject.
“So, this is beautiful, right?”
“Oh, it’s wonderful,” she answered, and as she did, a small snowflake, which hastily turned into many, started to flutter down around us, causing her to laugh and put her hand toward the sky, as if trying to catch the wintery bliss.
“What is it?”
“I was going to say, the only thing that was missing was snow,” Mazie replied, her eyes glistening as a reflection of the light in the nearest lamp post.
I grinned, unable to believe how beautiful she looked.
Sliding my hand around her waist, I pulled her into me and pressed my lips against hers. The hint of chocolate melded well with the taste of her, causing me to immediately deepen the kiss.
She giggled behind my lips, held me tighter, and responded in an equally passionate manner.
This continued, wild and sensual, until finally, the eyes of the passerby became too obvious to ignore and we started to feel out of place.
So, reluctantly, we pulled ourselves apart and returned to the car.
Looking at her as she stepped into the passenger seat, still giggling from the ogling eyes of the people who remained in Burnsville, I wanted her.
I felt an intense need to take her in my arms and finish what we’d started, but unfortunately, I knew that now was not the right time, nor place.
So, I managed to control myself, but I couldn’t help to notice a slight sense of disappointment expelling from Mazie, as if she had the same idea and longed for me to make the first move.
Still, on the chance that I had completely misread the signal, I continued with my original plan and didn’t act on my urge.