by Nella Tyler
Sure, I wasn’t going to lose my job. After winning such a deal, I was now far too valuable to the company, despite my father’s best efforts. Yet, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t have to catch a load of shit from him because I was essentially entering my father’s battlefield arena unarmed.
Going in there late today was going to ultimately draw defeat, with brokering the deal being the only voice vying for me to keep my professional head. Granted, it was a loud, influential voice, but it still wouldn’t save me from getting my ass handed to me.
Thus, I hastily decided that I didn’t even want to go into work today. It would be easier to take the day off than to show up late.
So, I called the secretary, and gave her a daily dose of sweet talk and bullshit before informing her that I wouldn’t be coming in today.
Once I hung up, I flopped back onto the bed, finding some solace in the knowledge that my father wouldn’t even bother to call to see where I was, or whether I was still alive. Therefore, I would be awarded the day to cool off without having to talk to the bastard.
With my newfound freedom, I tried to go back to sleep but only tossed and turned until I was too fed up and decided to get up.
I thought about calling Garrett but figured he wouldn’t get up anyway, so I decided to go wake him up.
I needed to vent, and he was the only person I had left that would listen to me. Sure, I would probably be called a pussy, or whatever uninventive insult of the week Garrett could concoct, but at least I would be able to let off some steam.
After taking a shower and getting ready, taking on more of a casual look than normal and grabbing my gym bag, knowing we were going to end up there, I drove to Garrett’s house.
He lived in a good neighborhood but on the other side of town than I did. His prior arrest record and uncanny ability to get into trouble had never helped his social status. Yet, he was happy, and for the most part, I didn’t give a crap where he lived.
I was his friend, not his fucking keeper.
The only issue that I had, that I now shamelessly used to my benefit, was that the dumbass never locked his doors. While he didn’t live in the slums, he also didn’t live in the Ritz, and thus, he wasn’t impervious to the occasional burglar.
However, Garrett welcomed a fight. He figured if anyone broke into his house, he would be able to take care of them himself. I thought it was stupid but again, it wasn’t my call.
Still, I had to chuckle as I walked into his bedroom and caught a glimpse of him sleeping soundly, completely unaware that anyone was there. If I was there to do him harm, his usually daunting figure was lessened by his current oblivion.
“Dude! Wake up!” I yelled, throwing a squishy basketball at him, jarring him awake instantly.
“Who the…” he screamed, his eyes popping open as he sat up instantly in bed. He stopped, halfway through his statement though, seeing it was me. Immediately, his eyes narrowed, and he snarled angrily. “Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? I could’ve killed you!”
“I highly fucking doubt that, first of all, and secondly, you should lock your doors if you don’t want people to waltz right in.”
Squinting at me in disbelief, he shook his head.
“What do you want? And why are you in my house?”
“I want to talk,” I offered, dropping myself in the chair across from his bed.
Garrett still looked confused and angry, but he had lost the urge to punch me in the face, so that was a plus. He shook his head again, as though trying to figure out whether I was sitting in front of him or if he was still asleep.
“Uh…okay. That’s not weird or anything…but, can I take a piss and get some breakfast before I become your fucking head shrink?”
“Sure!” I offered, “I’d love some breakfast.”
He scowled at me as he got up, “Dude, just get the hell out of my room.”
“Sure. Yeah. Good idea,” I replied, getting out of the chair and heading for the kitchen.
A few minutes later, I had helped myself to some cereal, and Garrett came down the hallway, still in his pajamas but looking far more alert and slightly less pissed.
“Okay, so I have come up with two options as to why you are in my house this goddamn early, waking my ass up. Either, your father is dead and you inherited a company you decided you don’t actually want or you are contemplating suicide because you have to be some kind of crazy to do what you did.”
“No, neither,” I replied after pretending to seriously consider the options before immediately returning to my cereal.
“Oh, cool,” he replied as he grabbed the eggs out of the refrigerator and started to put them in a blender. “So, why are you here?”
“I told you, I need to talk.”
“Should I kill you? Is that what you want? Because I really don’t like you right now and if you ask me to kill you, I would take solace in the fact that you came to me to off you.”
“You’re not going to kill me, nor do I want you to, but…fucking women.”
“You woke me up over not getting any pussy?” he demanded, his eyes wide.
“Oh no…I got it, but it’s what happened after that I want to talk to you about,” I replied before drinking the cereal milk straight from the bowl.
“What?” he sighed, realizing that I didn’t care in the least that I had broken into his house, scared the shit out of him, and woke him up.
But, why should he? Isn’t that what friends are for?
“You know how I told you that I didn’t tell my father but I told Mazie about the deal?” I didn’t give him time to answer before I continued, my aggravation rising as I thought about the situation more, “Well, she went and told her father about it, which totally screws up my chances of seeing my father’s face when I tell him. I can’t believe she would do that!” I stated indignantly. “I mean, besides you, she’s the only one who really knows how shitty my father is and how badly I want to take every opportunity to give him a big fat fuck you, and this was my biggest ever! He didn’t want me to get the accolades because it would prove to everyone that I’m not a screw-up. Hell, it might even raise a few eyebrows as to why his crusty old ass is still hanging around when I am perfectly capable of bringing in next-gen innovation.”
Garrett instantly made a face.
“Dex, first of all, do not talk about your dad’s crusty old ass…ever, but especially not over breakfast. And two, what if her dad didn’t tell your dad?”
“Yeah, right!” I immediately shut him down. I was on a roll now, and there was no stopping me. “The two of them tell one another everything when it pertains to the business. I think Brent is the only person my father tells anything to on a consistent basis. Trust me, if it’s about the business and you tell one, you’ve told them both, so that isn’t even an issue. Besides, I think you’re missing the fucking point. I don’t give a shit that my father knows. It’s good news for me either way. I’m pissed because I didn’t get to see his face when I told him the news. I waited for a reason. I wanted that son of a bitch to know that I am not his little errand boy. I wanted to make him wait for something. I hoped the thought that I failed and he lost a major deal kept his sorry ass up at night and I hoped not knowing the outcome hurt like hell…’cause I knew he wasn’t going to follow up with me. He expected me to run back to him, like I did when I was a kid, telling him what a good job I did the first chance I got, only for him to shoot me down and make me feel worthless. This way, though, he would be caught off guard. If I avoided him, he would inevitably think I failed, so he would have a million potshots lined up for me and probably my pink slip displayed on the desk. He would be pining to make an example out of me, that the new blood failed and that he was supreme, but then I would come in and get to rip that bitch up in his face, because I won.”
By now, Garrett had stopped preparing his breakfast and was simply staring at me in disbelief. The more I spoke, the more concerned he seemed, and when I took a breath, he took the time to speak.
“Dude, are you sure you’re feeling okay? I was only kidding about the suicide thing, but now, I think you’re a little manic.”
“I’m not manic; I’m pissed!” I screamed, my anger raging. Slamming my fist down on the table, I huffed loudly. “I just wanted the chance to show him that he’s not the most important thing to me anymore and Mazie took that from me.”
“I get that,” he replied after a pause, “Maybe after breakfast, we should go to the gym. You seem a little tense.”
“Sure, whatever,” I hissed, flailing my arm up in a dismissive manner, “I’ve got my bag in the car. We can go as soon as you’re ready.”
I did think it was a little odd that Garrett didn’t have any retorts or jeers throughout this whole conversation, and when everything finally grew silent, I wondered whether I had gone too far. However, I was still angry, and therefore, I couldn’t think clearly.
Thus, we spent the remainder of breakfast in silence.
That didn’t bother me, though. I’d had my temper tantrum, and at the gym, I would be able to physically relieve the tension I felt. This would be good.
Knowing this allowed my anger to settle into a slow simmer.
We still weren’t talking all that much when we arrived at the gym, which still didn’t bother me. I was mentally preparing to run and weight-lift the anger out of myself anyway.
However, about a half hour into our rotation, Garett finally started a conversation.
Immediately, I didn’t think I wanted to hear what he had to say.
“I have to say something, Dex, but I want you to listen before you react,” he offered.
I had a few smart retorts, but I kept them to myself.
“Alright…” I replied, showing that I wasn’t pleased with the start of the conversation.
Garrett either didn’t notice or didn’t care to acknowledge my reaction.
“So, I’ve been thinking about everything you said, and even though I understand you’re mad that you didn’t get to tell your father about the deal, I don’t think she meant to betray you. I think it was probably an accident. You and I know full-well that Mazie is close with her father and that they talk about the business, even though she isn’t a part of it herself. More than likely, she thought you had already told your father and her father, since you had told her. It was probably an accident,” he shrugged, “And not for nothing, it was probably because she’s proud of you.”
“Can I talk now?” I spat gruffly.
“Sure.”
“It doesn’t matter to me why she did it! The fact is, she told her father, which is the same as telling my father, and whether she was being spiteful, proud, or plain stupid, it wasn’t her place. And why the hell are you defending her? Aren’t you the one who told me I was going soft on the girl? Aren’t you the one who swore I was making a mistake?”
“I was wrong, Dexter.”
“Oh, don’t give me that shit. Give me a real answer.”
“I am. I thought about it, and I was wrong,” he snarled, this time loud and serious enough to warrant my full attention. “I still think that you are going soft on her, but I thought about it, and I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing.”
I glared at him with disbelief but was too angry to think of anything to say.
“Look, after I thought about what I said, I felt bad. I mean, we’ve known Mazie all our lives and like it or not, you two should’ve gotten together a long time ago. Now that you’re together, I haven’t seen you this happy since your mother passed. Your old man isn’t the only one who closed himself off after you mom died.”
“What the hell are you talking about? How is this about my mother?”
“It’s not. The point I’m making is that you haven’t had a real relationship with anyone since before your mother passed…not until Mazie. I see that now, and I want you to be happy.”
“Well, I’m miserable…”
“No, you’re not!” he spat, “Get your head out of your ass! My point is that she was excited enough and proud enough of your accomplishment to tell her father about it and isn’t that what you want? You’re always striving to get everyone’s approval, but when you finally get someone who genuinely cares, you act like an ungrateful dick.”
I scoffed at the comment, but in my head, I couldn’t help thinking that perhaps he was right. I did see his point, but I was still far too upset about the situation to warrant an affirmation of the validity of his assessment.
Therefore, I simply remained silent.
Mazie
Instead of waking up wrapped in Dexter’s arms, I awoke to Mittens annoyingly pawing at my pajamas.
I groaned and tried to push the cat away, but she was persistent and hopped right back to the same spot, this time meowing louder and adding a little bit of claw to her morning ritual.
“Leave me alone, Mittens,” I grumbled, attempting to grab the cat and cuddle with her, trying to assuage my instantly aching heart, but it was to no avail.
Mittens quickly backed out of my embrace, yelling out as though I were trying to kill her.
Instantly, I released her, and she jumped down off the bed, grumbling at my lack of attentiveness.
I knew now I had a few minutes before Mittens would try to get me to wake up again, but it was too late. She had already woken me up enough to fill my head with dreadful memories of the night before.
I felt my heart pound while a nervous lump in my throat formed. I was angry at myself, frustrated and overwhelmed. I didn’t want it to be over between Dexter and me, especially not after the romantic connection I felt between us before my stupid confession.
You should’ve just kept it to yourself, I thought, tossing and turning as though the motion was going to physically shake the thoughts from my mind.
It was no use, however, and the more I thought about it, the worse I felt.
When I heard Mittens coming back to try her luck again, I knew I needed to get out of bed, but I still didn’t want to. The bliss of sleep was still preferred to the guilt I felt bubbling up inside of me.
However, as I felt the slight shift in the weight while Mittens hopped effortlessly onto my bed, I got up before the cat could try to persuade me any further.
“Alright, alright, I’m up!” I groaned, catching a glimpse of the clock. The time was much later than I normally woke up, which made sense as to why Mittens was being so insistent. “I’m sorry,” I told the cat, who was now purring and nuzzling under my chin after coming to the realization she was finally getting what she wanted.
After getting up and feeding Mittens, I started my morning routine of picking up the house and cleaning up.
About halfway through my routine, there was a knock at the door that startled me.
With a fluttering heart, I hoped that it was Dexter, coming back to work things out.
Hurriedly, I ran to the door. My stomach was churning nervously, and my heart was about to leap out of my chest, but I was willing it to be Dexter so much that when I opened it, I could feel the disappointment cascade through me.
“Hi, Laura,” I droned, failing epically at hiding my discontent.
“Umm…hi, I was coming to make sure you were okay. I missed you at yoga yesterday,” she replied cautiously, following me into the house as I turned to get back to my cleaning. “Were you expecting someone else?”
“No,” I sighed, “Not really.”
“Dexter?” Laura surmised.
The sound of his name reverberated through me as though shooting a fresh stake of guilt through my heart.
“Yeah,” I answered, trying to hide the lump of emotion that was forming in my throat, “I think it’s over between us, Laura.”
As I said the words, I turned around to face her, genuinely looking at her for the first time since she arrived.
“Why do you say that?” Laura inquired as a grin of disbelief spread across her features.
With a long sigh and aggravated expression, I focused on keeping my emotions
together while I explained what had happened the night before.
As I was telling her all of this, Laura’s face grew more disgusted by the moment.
“Wow…he left and you haven’t heard a thing from him since?” she didn’t give me anytime to respond before she added, “I guess he’s more like his father than he’d like to admit. Don’t worry,” she replied, stepping toward me with an understanding tone in her voice, “He’s a dick. He shouldn’t have got so mad that he left. That’s stupid! What a child!”
“Well, I mean, I did betray his trust,” I replied, not feeling comfortable with her bashing him like that. I certainly didn’t think that his being angry was unwarranted.
“No, you didn’t,” Laura retorted without a second thought, “You had no idea he didn’t tell his father. He didn’t tell you not to tell anyone, did he?”
“Well, no…”
“Then, how were you supposed to know he was only going to confide in you? I mean, getting the biggest deal of your life isn’t exactly information that people tend to keep to themselves. It’s not like you told his father anyway. You told your father.”
“Yeah, but you know as well as I do that doesn’t matter.”
“But you’re his daughter. It’s not like you’re some snake employee that tried to screw him over. You told your own father because you were proud of him.”
“Yeah, but…”
“No!” she insisted, “There is no buts and no excuses. You didn’t do anything wrong. He’s a dick. End of story.”
I thought about responding but almost immediately decided against it. Instead, I sighed and shook my head.
I knew that Laura was only trying to help, but regardless of what she said, or tried to do to rationalize my actions, I still felt bad. After all, good or bad, I knew we weren’t supposed to talk to our parents about our relationship, and if I had kept that promise, I wouldn’t be in this mess.
However, I was certain that Laura wouldn’t understand that, so I kept it to myself.