by Ellen Joy
“I didn’t know you did made-to-order?” a man said, stomping on the wooden floors.
“Only for our special customers,” Frank teased. “What can I get you, Matt?”
She stopped mid-bite. It couldn’t be Matt Williams again, could it? She slowly turned.
Matt gave a little wave as his eyes met hers. His eyes were the same color as the sea glass she had saved in a jar back home. A green so deep you could swim in them.
“Mornin’.”
She nodded, her mouth stuffed with pancake. His smile grew with her surprise. He was even taller than she remembered, over six feet, with broad shoulders. He wore a navy hooded sweatshirt with the words “Lobstah Man” printed on the back. She couldn’t help but notice how his worn jeans fit him perfectly from behind. He was as handsome as he had been as a teenager, except now instead of peach fuzz, he had a full beard. His dirty-blond hair curled out from underneath his worn Red Sox cap. She prayed she didn’t look like she felt.
He took a mug from Frank and filled it up. Then, to her horror, he sauntered over and took a seat at the next table. He leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs, and faced her. “So, you survived the storm?”
She swallowed. “Yes, thanks again for helping me out last night.”
He sipped his coffee, but it did little to hide the smirk behind his cup. “No problem.”
She stared at her plate, wondering if she should eat, or talk. What should she say to the guy who was her first kiss? And first heartbreak?
“How long are you in town?” he asked.
She shrugged. Honestly, she didn’t know. New Year’s Day, if she stuck to her plan, but hopefully only hours, if the airlines would accommodate her request to change flights.
Matt nodded. He leaned back in his chair and said nothing more.
“Will we get to meet that fiancé of yours while you’re in town?” Frank asked, as he placed a plate in front of Matt.
“Um, I’m not sure.” Was she kidding herself, holding out hope that Eric might still come? The thought of him not showing up made tears spring to her eyes.
“Oh,” Frank said, looking puzzled. “Did he get stuck in the—”
“You and Uncle David need any help with the desserts tonight?” Matt interrupted.
Frank shook his head. “David’s already made everything.” Frank pointed toward the back. “What did you make for tonight?”
David’s head popped out from behind the kitchen window. “I have a Buche de Noel and a pumpkin maple trifle. I’m making Grandma Grace’s butterballs right now. Does your mom need something else?”
As their conversation continued, she returned to her breakfast, dunking her toast into the egg yolk. The bread was thick and doughy and perfect. Her stomach was already thanking her.
Matt said, “Hey, I was going to tell my mom to extend an invitation, but since you’re here, why don’t you join us tonight?”
It took a moment to realize Matt was talking to her.
“You should go,” David called from the back. “The whole town will be there. My sister-in-law throws quite the party.”
Kate swallowed and shook her head. “Oh, I don’t think so.”
“Come,” Frank said. “It’s a really nice evening.”
“Bring your fiancé!” David yelled.
The breath she struggled so hard to keep steady slipped away. The tears stung her eyes and she used everything she had to hold them back, but it wasn’t meant to be. One escaped before she could wipe it away.
“The weather really messed up everyone’s plans.” Matt put a clean napkin on her table. He stood up, bringing his empty plate to the counter. “I’ll see you tonight,” he said to Frank, then waved to David. He walked toward the door, but stopped before leaving and turned back to her. “We should catch up, sometime.”
She mustered a smile, but couldn’t look his way. Two breakdowns in less than twenty-four hours was a new record for her.
Three
Kate felt Frank stare at her from behind the counter. It wasn’t a creepy stare, but more of a concerned one. The fact that she was the only customer made it difficult to eat without feeling self-conscious, especially since she teetered on having a breakdown in public again.
As she finished up, Frank walked toward her with a large white book in his hands.
“Vivi told us you’re getting married.” He placed the book on the table, flipping open the cover, revealing a photo album of desserts. “Have you planned your dessert course?”
She widened her eyes, hoping the tears would soak back in, but it was no use. She grabbed the napkin Matt had given her and dabbed her eyes.
“Was the New Englander that lousy?” he joked. “Are you okay?”
She nodded her head, but didn’t respond, looking away.
“It’s just that...” Her bottom lip trembled. “I don’t need to plan a dessert course anymore.”
Her heart plummeted at the truth. His face said he realized why she had come alone. Without knowing what was happening, he pulled out the chair across from her and sat down. At first she stiffened up, but then covered her face with the napkin, her shoulders shaking as she wept.
“I’m so, so sorry,” she sobbed.
“There’s no need to be sorry,” Frank said, consoling her.
She lowered the napkin, looking at him as tears fell off her chin. “He said he couldn’t do it. What does that mean?”
Frank shook his head. “What a horrible thing to go through, especially during the holidays.”
“I didn’t see it coming.” She blew her nose. “He didn’t even explain.”
She wept again, heavy sobs with intermittent gasps of breath.
“He didn’t even give you a reason?” Frank sounded upset for her.
“We were packing to come to Camden Cove when he just stopped and told me he couldn’t do it.” She spoke through hiccups. “I thought he meant flying out here, but then he said he... he couldn’t marry me.”
“You must’ve been devastated,” Frank said.
She took a deep breath. “This was such a stupid mistake, coming out here. I wanted to prove that I was this strong, independent woman, but instead I’ve completely fallen apart. And now I’m falling apart in front of a complete stranger.”
“Well, we’re not strangers anymore.” Frank tilted his head and took a long look. Her emotions were so raw, she was sure he could feel her pain radiating through her. “Never doubt your strength. You just being here, getting on that plane without him is strength.”
He patted her hand, giving a small smile.
Her chin quivered. “I’ve lost my soulmate.”
“He’s not your soulmate,” he said matter-of-factly, and leaned back in his chair. “Not if he’s willing to leave you.”
His words made her bottom lip tremble even more.
“Sorry. What I’m trying to say is that everything happens for a reason.”
She felt sicker at hearing the terrible cliché.
“Sometimes when things fall apart, they’re really falling into place.”
He was not helping, even though her hiccups had slowed down. “I should go.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Frank asked as he stood up. “You should come to the party tonight.”
She shook her head. “I clearly shouldn’t be out in public.”
“Get some rest today,” Frank suggested. “But this evening, you’re coming to the Christmas party.”
Kate’s eyes widened. “Oh, no, I can’t be around people.”
Frank tsked and then said, “I’m not letting you be alone on Christmas Eve.”
MATT LIFTED THE COOLERS filled with the live lobsters into the back of his truck and shut the lift gate once they were secured. He had a few minutes before he needed to go over to his parents’ house, so he headed to Teddy’s Toyshop to grab his last gift. A horse figurine his niece had requested. Nothing like waiting until the last minute.
“Matt!” a voice called from behind.
Matt turne
d to see Officer Martinez jogging toward him in the parking lot.
“Alex, it’s good to see you.” Matt greeted his brother’s friend with a hearty handshake.
“Tell me that’s for tonight?” Alex asked, pointing to the coolers.
“The storm isn’t going to stop Sarah Williams.”
“I do love your mom’s mac ‘n cheese.” Alex had been a regular at the Williams house since Matt was a young boy. He played baseball with his older brother Jack, and was a lifetime Camden Cove resident like the rest of them. “I actually wanted to give you a warning. The Coast Guard called us and told us to listen around. They’ve seen some vandalism with traps recently. People’s lines have been cut over near Perkin’s Island.”
“Do you know who it is?” Matt asked, concerned. Matt hadn’t heard any scuttlebutt about traps being messed with, but Perkin’s Island was part of his territory. He was sure he would know by tonight. Half of the town would know the details by his parents’ party.
“You’ll find out before us,” Alex replied. Matt heard the undertone in his statement. Lobstermen had a long history of resolving matters between each other. “Would you let me know if you see or hear anything?”
Matt nodded. “Will do.”
There hadn’t been something like this for years, not since his grandfather died. For generations, territories were passed down within families. But some Fishermen believed one had to earn their place, and some thought Matt skipped to the head of the line without paying his dues, by inheriting part of his grandfather’s territory.
Matt wondered whose lines were cut as he walked through the village’s narrow streets, listening to the snow crunch under his feet. The morning was quiet, even the waves seemed softer. During the summer, this place was crammed with tourists. Cars lined the streets, traffic jammed the main strip, and every sidewalk or path was packed with folks visiting the quaint fishing town. He was proud to be a permanent resident, and even though most of his bread and butter came from those summer people, he preferred days like today when he had Camden Cove all to himself.
He opened the shop’s door as a couple stepped out. He held the door, humming a Christmas carol, but stopped short when he realized who they were. Justine and Freddy were hand in hand, and appeared just as surprised to see him.
“Hey Matt,” Freddy said, trying to be casual as he wrapped his arm around Justine. “Merry Christmas.”
He ignored him, there was no need to carry on a conversation when one wasn’t needed.
“I heard you’re looking for some extra work this winter,” Freddy said as Matt went to walk inside. “You know we always need help with maintenance and repairs for the hotel.”
Matt gritted his teeth, but took the high road. “Thanks, but I’m good.”
Justine didn’t make eye contact. She stood holding a small bag, a present he assumed, in her hand. It wasn’t until he took another look that he noticed the large diamond on her finger.
His face must’ve showed his surprise, because Freddy felt the need to tell the story. “I wanted to wait until Christmas morning, but I was so excited, I popped the question last night.”
He locked eyes with Justine and said, “Congratulations.”
She squeezed up closer to Freddy and smiled. “Thanks, we’re thrilled.”
He nodded, but added nothing else. What do you say to your ex-wife, who finally landed a man with the money she always dreamed of having?
“Tell your family Merry Christmas,” Freddy said.
Matt squeezed the door handle, wishing he could squeeze Freddy’s head instead. He swallowed his pride, got his niece’s gift, and headed to his parents’.
Nothing made Sarah Williams happier than having her whole family at the house. Even though all her children lived close by, it was harder and harder these days to get them all together in one place at the same time. Christmastime was the exception.
His mom had an open-door policy for the Christmas party, but it was the usual crowd—mostly their family, some local business owners, and friends from the neighborhood and church. His brother would bring the prime rib, his uncles would bring the desserts, and he came with the lobsters.
When he walked in, Sarah called out to his dad, “John, Matt’s here.”
His dad looked up from his paper, then folded it, sticking it down beside the side cushion of his chair as he got up. “How many do you plan on prepping this year?”
“About a dozen... or two.”
John gave her the look, and shook his head. “Two dozen?”
“It’s not Christmas Eve without lobster mac ‘n cheese.” She sprinkled more salt into the boiling pot of water. “It’s your family’s tradition.”
John wasn’t buying it. She had grabbed hold of the tradition and made it bigger and more elaborate each year. She walked over to her husband, wrapped her arms around his waist, and kissed his cheek.
“I’ll give a hand.” John kissed her back, then put on his boots and headed out the door.
Matt and his dad carried in the coolers and dropped them next to the stove.
“Did you have any trouble getting this many?” she asked, surveying the load.
Matt shook his head. “Nah.”
He sat on a stool along the kitchen’s center island. Sarah didn’t hold back with the holiday spirit. Wreaths hung on every window, with candles sitting on the sills. Hand carved snowmen and reindeer stood among pinecones on the side tables. Bowls of cranberries and jars filled with candy canes lined the kitchen table. She even convinced his dad to cut down a twelve-foot tree, the biggest one to date.
“So, guess who I ran into?” Matt said, grabbing a muffin from the basket on the counter.
“Who?” she asked, turning to the lobster. She dropped them one by one into the boiling water.
“Katie O’Neil.”
“The Katie O’Neil?” She turned around to face Matt. She clearly remembered how head over heels he had been for her. “That’s right. Vivi had mentioned she was coming into town with her fiancé.”
“Well, she’s here, but I don’t think the fiancé came.”
Her eyebrows lifted, and she wiped her hands with a dishtowel. “No fiancé?”
“No fiancé,” he repeated. “I invited her to come tonight.”
“That’s nice of you.”
“Who’s coming?” John asked from his chair.
Matt swiveled to face him. “Vivi’s niece is in town.”
John opened the newspaper and nodded. “Is she bringing her whole family?”
Sarah stood, watching the pot. “Apparently she came alone.”
“Just as long as I don’t have to do any more for tonight.”
“I wonder where her fiancé is.” He could see Sarah’s curiosity grow.
He shrugged. “She was at the bakery eating breakfast, so I’m sure we’ll know the whole story soon, from Uncle Frank.”
She thought about it for a moment as she grabbed a coffee mug and filled it, setting it in front of him.
“Got anything stronger?” he said, as he took a sip.
She gave him a look.
“What? It’s Christmas Eve, after all.” He walked to the fireplace and sat on the hearth. He leaned over and rubbed Maggie Mae, the family’s chocolate lab.
“Everything okay?”
“Of course,” he replied. “Just looking for something to warm me up, nothing else.”
Just then, a car door slammed, and soon his sister Elizabeth walked into the kitchen. Her hands were full of Christmas bags and wrapped presents. Sarah rushed over to help her daughter as she stomped off the snow onto the floor mat. “Gentlemen, a little help?”
Matt and John sprang up.
“I have more in the car,” Elizabeth said, setting the bags on the counter. “Did you hear?”
He knew before she said it, but shook his head.
“Freddy popped the question.”
His stomach fell anyways, and he wished his coffee was stronger. “When did you hear?”
“Yeah, well, why wait?” He ignored the looks his sister and mother were giving him.
“What are you talking about?” his mother said.
“Justine and Freddy got engaged last night,” Elizabeth said.
Sarah’s eyes widened. “They’re engaged?!”
The last thing he wanted to do was sit around and talk about his failed marriage, his cheating wife and her new engagement.
Just as Elizabeth’s mouth opened, before she spoke, he interrupted and said, “Did you hear who’s in town?”
Four
The afternoon light had begun to fade when Kate gave up trying to find a flight out of Maine. She talked to every person from the airline’s customer service, but with the storm and the holidays, the earliest flight was in another two days.
She’d be alone for Christmas.
She sat in the middle of the floor with the contents of her suitcase spread out across the living room. She stared out the windows. Even as her life spun out of control, the view of the cold, gray water pulled her in. Everything seemed petty and insignificant as she watched the endless whitecaps spitting their fury in every direction as the wind blew.
With each chime and vibration her phone made, her heart leaped with hope that Eric was reaching out. She’d accept an apology. She’d even be okay spending the holidays alone, if everything went back to normal afterward.
All the messages were from work, however. Melinda, her office assistant, followed Kate’s request to keep her updated on the progress of the Merrill deal, maybe a little too enthusiastically. Text after text of forwarded memos and emails came throughout the day. She even had the nerve to wish her a Merry Christmas.
She dropped her phone and wrapped her arms around her knees. Her throat ached as she tried to press her body into the floor. Hold it in, she thought to herself, hold it in.
Then the doorbell rang, and she popped up from the floor, hope filling her soul.
Eric.
She sprang from the floor and raced toward the door. Their romantic Christmas by the sea could still come true. Dinner by candlelight while they listened to the ocean.