by Ellen Joy
He stood up and walked to the windows, the furthest spot in the room from her. He looked out at the same view she had for days. She didn’t say anything, just waited.
“Is it because of him?” He kept his gaze out the window.
“No.” She looked up. “And yes.” She took a deep breath. “It’s mostly because I’m not the same person I was when I last saw you. I’ve changed.”
He let out a huff. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. You didn’t used to sleep with random guys before.”
His words stung like a slap in the face. She tried to remind herself how upset he was, but she didn’t deserve to be treated as though she had something to apologize for.
“You should leave,” she said coldly, standing up.
He held up his hands. “I’m sorry. All I want to do is erase the last week and start again.”
She took in a deep breath and listened to the waves.
“Please, Kate, please give me another chance.”
She had hoped and prayed and begged for this moment to come. To have him change his mind, to get her dream life back again, but as she sat there, his hands squeezing hers, she realized that dream had ended.
She didn’t want to place blame, because he was only the catalyst for her change, but his one decision changed everything for her.
“Eric, I can’t.”
And just like that, Kate’s life changed again.
MATT SAT IN HIS APARTMENT and watched the car parked in Katie’s driveway. The very fancy foreign SUV he couldn’t afford. It had only been about twenty minutes since he left her place, but it felt like forever, just sitting around waiting to see what happened next.
He needed to leave. Go somewhere. Anywhere to get away from the fact that Katie was with her ex-fiancé. The guy who she might still love. The guy who wasn’t leaving the house.
What if she went back to him? What would he do then? Worse, what if they stayed in Camden Cove to finish their vacation together?
He swept his keys off the kitchen table when he saw another car pull into the driveway. He couldn’t tell who it was, but he guessed it had to be Vivi, if that’s who Katie had been expecting that morning.
Just as he was going to leave, Alex Martinez knocked on the door.
“Hey, Alex,” Matt said as he opened his door.
“Hey, Matt.” Standing in full uniform, Alex’s demeanor was flat.
“What’s up?” Matt had a feeling he knew. Either it was about the sunken boat, Freddy’s threat of going to the police, or with Matt’s luck, a whole new problem he wasn’t aware of.
“We need to talk.”
His head dropped. “I take it that it needs to happen now.”
Alex nodded, walking inside his apartment.
“I take it Freddy came for a visit.”
“No, but I’m waiting for him to show up.” Alex rested his hands on his belt. “I get it, I want to deck the guy, and he didn’t even sleep with my wife.”
Matt slumped onto his couch, putting his head in between his hands. “I know I need to cool it.”
“You don’t just need to cool it.” Alex let out a deep breath. “You need to stop.”
“Have you talked to him about my boat?” He didn’t need to remind Alex about the situation, but his anger controlled his rationality.
“You’d know more than me.” Alex crossed his arms. “Look, Matt, what I’m trying to tell you is that we all understand the why. But for your own sake, stay away from Freddy.”
“He was talking about Lauren.” Matt gave him a look. Freddy was lucky that Alex hadn’t been there. Alex was as protective of Lauren as Matt and Jack. “You’d do the same thing.”
“You should’ve just let Lauren take care of herself. God knows she could.”
The both let out a laugh.
“Remember when she hit Tommy Appleton in the nose?” Alex shook his head, laughing again.
“She broke it.” Matt smiled, thinking of his little brute of a sister.
“Look, just be careful, because next time, he’s going to get an attorney, and I can’t help you after that.” Alex gave him a serious look.
Matt stood up and shook Alex’s hand. “Thanks, man.”
He looked out one more time toward Vivi’s. The car was still there. Jail might be better than sitting around with his raw heart.
KATE HEARD A WOMAN’S voice from the front hall. “Katie! Eric!”
Kate’s eyes shot open as she heard Vivi’s voice. Before she could say anything, Vivi walked into the living room. “I’m so glad I got to see you guys before you left!”
Eric looked over at Kate, his eyes blood shot, moistened.
“I thought you were getting in tonight.” Kate’s throat hurt saying the words.
Vivi unwrapped her scarf, and placed it on the back of the couch. Her eyes flickered to Kate then to Eric, reading the room.
“Um... I was just leaving.” Eric stumbled over the words. He had liked her aunt when she came out to visit them in the city. They had talked about music and art of the eighties and nineties.
“Oh.” Vivi sounded surprised. She looked at Kate. “Well, don’t let me keep you. I’ll see you later, then?”
“I’m at the Cliff House,” he said and he left.
Vivi said something, as he walked past her, but he kept going, not replying.
Kate’s whole being felt stuck, buried in emotions, as she watched Eric leave. Once she heard the door close, Kate rushed over and embraced Vivi. She had never been happier to see her than she was at that moment.
“Katie,” Vivi squeezed her, “what just happened?”
Kate didn’t say anything, just kept hugging her, holding back her tears until her eyes stung.
“Merry Christmas!” Vivi swayed Kate back and forth. “What have you been up to?” Vivi asked as she pulled away. “I tried opening the garage door, but it wouldn’t open.”
Kate flung her arms into the air. “Everything’s completely a mess!” She fell into the couch, tears sliding down to her chin.
Vivi sat down next to her and put her hand on her knee. “What’s going on?”
Kate let it all out, tears falling down her cheeks. “Eric left me, and I got stuck in a ditch, and Matt pulled me out. Then there was no breakfast. And I had to go to a Christmas party with Frank and David. And, I’ve gained like twenty pounds because of eating so many pastries, and then Matt stayed here last night and Eric came this morning, and he wants to get back together, but now he thinks I slept with Matt.”
Vivi sat without moving or even blinking. She finally asked, “What happened to your eyes?”
“See!” Kate got up and started to pace. “I’m a complete mess!”
“Slow down.” Vivi stood, taking off her jacket, then took hold of Kate’s arms, and made her stop pacing. “Let me make some tea, and we can talk about everything.”
Kate leaned into Vivi and hugged her again. “I’d love that.”
She followed Vivi into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Vivi had always been the cool aunt. Her mom’s younger sister’s wild side was legendary in their house. Her mom would frequently roll out a story about her aunt to demonstrate what not to do with her life. “When your aunt was sixteen, she did this” or “she did that”.
Kate had always admired how Vivi didn’t seem to care, either. No matter what her mom said, Vivi would shrug it off. Questions about when she was going to settle down or when she’d have a family of her own were ignored. She never seemed to get upset. And what her mom never understood was that Vivi was happy. Happier than her mom.
As the kettle ticked on the burner, Vivi sat down and let out a sigh. “Why don’t you start from the beginning?”
Kate didn’t want to go back to the beginning, because she didn’t really know where to begin. Did it happen when he left her? Or was it before that? She didn’t really know when it all started.
“Did you know my parents were getting a divorce, the summer I came out alone?” Kate asked her.
“Did she know about his affair?”
Vivi didn’t answer at first, which made Kate wonder if her aunt would hold loyalty to her mother. Kate had never heard the whole story. After the divorce, her mother never spoke of her father again. Never talked about what happened, besides the fact that her father had a new family. Nothing about their marital problems.
Worse, Kate had never noticed any. Before she came home that summer, she’d thought everything was perfect.
Just like with her and Eric.
And now with Matt.
“Yes,” Vivi finally answered, “she knew about the affair. That’s why she sent you to me, alone.”
“Is this why you never married?” she asked her. “Nothing lasts, so why bother?”
Vivi let out a half laugh. “No, unfortunately, that’s not why.”
“Then it’s our family.” Kate studied the coastline, watching as a boat followed the horizon. “We’re all cursed.”
“We’re not cursed.” Vivi walked over to her. “We’re passionate.”
Kate rolled her eyes. “Or crazy.”
“That, too.” Vivi rubbed Kate’s back. “I do believe in love, because I had it once.”
Kate remembered that there had been men in Vivi’s life. Boyfriends who’d come by and introduce themselves to the family, but never stay around long enough to see again the next summer. “Who was it?”
“His name was Phillip.” She smiled the moment she said his name.
“What happened?”
The kettle screamed from the stove. Vivi got up and poured the water, bringing it to the table. Kate dropped two tea bags into mugs.
“Gosh, I haven’t thought about Phillip in a while.” She folded her hands around the mug. “We were engaged to be married.”
“What happened between you two? Why didn’t it work out?”
“Well, he was a fisherman, and got caught in a storm, the boat capsized and he drowned.”
Kate’s mouth dropped open. She had never heard the story. “I am so sorry. That’s horrible.”
Vivi slipped her hands out and patted Kate. “Heartbreak is heartbreak. But being scared is another thing.”
“Scared?”
“You mentioned Matt?” Vivi somehow didn’t seem surprised. “Do you mean Matt Williams?”
“Yes?”
“I decided to come home because Frank and David gave me a call a few days ago when you arrived, and told me about Eric.”
“Did you tell my mom?”
“You didn’t?”
Kate shook her head. “She’ll just say I told you so.”
Vivi shook her head. “She’ll be devastated for you.
“I didn’t want her to hate him...” Kate looked out the window, down at the slip where Maggie Mae was usually moored. It was still empty. “I just don’t know what to do. What if Eric really did just get cold feet? What if he still loves me like he did before? And how are Matt and I ever going to work? Long distance relationships never work. Everything with Eric is planned out. Our house, the wedding, our future.”
“You have to follow your heart, as corny as that sounds, it’s always right.”
Kate rubbed her forehead with both hands. “That’s the thing. I don’t trust mine.”
Nineteen
More than anything, Matt wished Kate had a cellphone. That way he could’ve just texted her what he wanted to say, send her a quick message, and then she could reply. Easy. Instead, he stood in his apartment staring at her aunt’s house like a madman trying to figure out what to do. He could go over there. She and Eric had enough time to talk.
Then, just as Matt convinced himself to leave, Eric came out of the house and got into his car. He sped out of the driveway, practically spinning out and into a snow bank as he reversed. But she didn’t leave with him.
She’d stayed.
But she didn’t leave, either. As five minutes turned to twenty then to forty-five minutes, he grabbed a pen and paper, scribbled a note, stuck it on the door, and left his apartment. He had to get out of there. He was driving himself crazy.
When he walked into his parents’ kitchen, Sarah immediately got into it with him. “You look like you haven’t slept in days.” She walked up to him and examined his face. “Are those the same clothes you wore last night?”
He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek as she hugged him.
“Good morning,” he said flatly. “Can I grab a cup of coffee?”
“Of course.” Sarah crossed her arms, inspecting him as he got himself a mug. “I can whip up something to eat, if you want.”
“Coffee is fine.” He didn’t have the stomach for food.
His father sat in the recliner with the dog laying on his feet. “Did you hear anything about the boat?”
With everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, he just wanted a break from it all. “Nothing yet.”
He noticed that his mother kept checking out his swollen hand. What had his sisters told her about the night before?
She must’ve decided not to bring anything up because she pushed a plate of sticky buns toward him when he sat down at the counter. “Have something to eat.”
He shook his head. “No, thanks.”
He rubbed his temples. He couldn’t stop thinking about what might be happening with Katie right now.
Sarah stood there, watching him, then as if she couldn’t hold back any longer, she cut right to the chase. “Did you get into a fight with Freddy Harrington last night?”
He waited for his mom to keep talking. He was sure his sisters filled her in with all the details. He looked down at his swollen knuckles, his fingers still tender. “Sounds like you already know the answer.”
“Did Alex come to your place?” This time she didn’t even let him answer. “Did Freddy press charges? Because if he did, your father and I can –”
“Ma, stop,” he mumbled. He sunk his face behind his mug of coffee. “He just stopped by, that’s all.”
“So, what’s going on with you and Vivi’s niece?” Sarah asked.
Matt set his mug down on the counter and got up. “I think I’m going to head out.”
He pulled his coat off the back of the stool and stuffed his arm in the sleeve.
“John, didn’t you say you needed help with something in the garage?” Sarah stood on her tippy toes to get his attention.
“Hmm?” John mumbled from his recliner.
She waved at him. “Didn’t you say you needed to put that salt into the truck?”
John set the newspaper in his lap, looking confused. Then as if a lightbulb came on, he lifted his finger. “Yes! It’ll only take a second.”
“Sure.” Matt stuffed his other arm in his coat, and followed his father out the backdoor.
“I just need an extra hand loading them into my truck for the restaurant.” His father had a stack of bagged salt for the parking lot and sidewalks around the restaurant and his apartment. “So, the women won’t stop talking about what’s happening between you and the girl in the fancy dress.”
“Katie?” Matt didn’t think his father ever paid attention to the chatter between his mother and sisters.
“Did I ever tell you about how your mom wanted nothing to do with me for the first year we knew each other?” his father asked.
Matt wished he could interrupt his dad and remind him he already knew the story. It was one of the three his father told when giving advice about girls. Matt and his older brother Jack could recite it in carol.
“Then there was prom, and I asked her, even though she wanted to go with Bobby Cyr, and wanted nothing to do with me.” There was no stopping his father once he started telling a story. “She even said no at first, but she changed her mind, probably because Bobby’s grandmother died, but she ended up as my date.”
Matt sighed. It was usually at a transition when the story went off topic, but this time, John stayed
on course.
“She wore this light blue dress, with her hair pulled back. I remember thinking how glad I was that I asked her, even though my chances were slim.” John stopped and clicked his tongue and said, “I’m still glad I asked her.” Then he dragged a bag of salt past Matt and patted him on the back. “Go for the girl.”
And with that last piece of advice, John lifted the bag up and dropped it into the truck. He clearly didn’t need help.
Matt pulled his keys out of his pocket. “You good?” He nodded towards the bags.
His father smiled. “You headed out?”
Matt started toward his truck. “There’s something I’ve got to do.”
He reversed, peeling out, and hooked a right toward Katie’s road. He wanted to get there as fast as he could.
When he pulled into the driveway, only the mystery car sat in the driveway. He ran to the door and rang the bell, hoping he wasn’t too late.
He imagined taking Katie into his arms as she answered the door, but it was Vivi who opened it.
“Matthew Williams, it’s good to see you.” She smiled at him in her door. “How’s your grandmother?”
“She’s great.” Matt looked for signs of Katie. “I’m actually here to see Katie.”
Vivi’s smile faded. “Oh sweetie, you just missed her.”
As if on cue, his phone dinged. He looked and saw a photo sent from his Uncle Frank, with a message. She’s at the docks, in case you’re wondering. The photo was of Katie looking out at the harbor.
He jumped into his truck.
KATE PARKED IN MATT’S empty space by the restaurant. She scanned the village for any sign of him. The cedar buildings were still decorated from the holidays, and suddenly Christmas felt so long ago.
Her chances were slim, but she walked straight to the dock. Even with the fog blanketing the water, Kate could see the slip was empty. She walked down to where a few wooden dinghies were moored. Their pastel colors reflected in the icy waters. Oars loosely sat inside their bellies.
She had an urge to take one, to paddle across the harbor, go out to the water and find him. As she looked at the boats bobbing in the water, she thought about what she was doing. Matt wasn’t here. She wouldn’t be able to say goodbye.