by Krista Wolf
“I can’t believe you’re gone…” Noelle sniffed. I couldn’t tell if the tears were a hundred-percent real or mostly for the others’ benefit. Either way, I didn’t care. “I can’t believe you won’t be—”
“Save it,” I grinned, digging back into my chocolate mousse. “You shouldn’t be crying because I’m gone, you should be crying because you’re still there. With Lilith.”
She forced a smile, and I raised my fork in salute.
“Lilith’s not so bad if you stay out of her way,” Noelle mumbled. “She always seemed to butt heads with you, though.”
“Lilith is pure, personified evil,” I said, squinting hard to emphasize my point. “And she butted heads with me because she never liked me. Not even from the very beginning.”
“That’s because she’s threatened by you,” said Bella. She added a shrug. “Hey, when you’re the best in the office, they come for you. And I would know.”
Victoria laughed. Deanna rolled her eyes.
“It’s hard being at the top,” Bella added, smiling smugly. “Everyone wants the crown.”
“Everyone wants the glory that comes with the crown,” I corrected her. “But none of the responsibilities.”
Bella tipped her wine glass my way and I clinked it with my frozen drink. “Touché.”
By the time we finished up, everyone seemed satisfied that I was in my right mind. Yes, I’d lost my job. No, it wasn’t that big a deal. I explained I’d be finding something new, and that it would be bigger and better than my last position. I didn’t mention I’d be going independent, though. As much as I loved Noelle, she had a bigger mouth than anyone I knew.
I also told them I was taking a week to myself, and I’d be flying out tomorrow. Everyone seemed excited for me. But they seemed more intrigued than anything, that I was going back to Vegas.
“Going to visit your ‘mystery man’?” Heather teased.
The term made me queasy, but what they were calling him. I guess it was my own fault. I told them yes, for simplicity sake.
Eventually we broke apart with usual kisses and hugs. As everyone filed out of the restaurant, Bella followed along the sidewalk next to me. Which could only mean one thing, because she lived uptown, clear in the other direction.
“Alright,” she said when we were out of earshot of the others. “Spill it.”
“Spill what?” I asked innocently.
“You’re going back to see this guy again,” she said. “Only it’s not a guy, is it?”
I stopped walking. One of the street vendors selling charcoal artwork mistook me for a customer, but I waved him away.
“I didn’t think so,” said Bella.
I looked my friend up and down. There was the standard curiosity, but none of the prying ‘must-know’ bullshit behind it. She was concerned, more than anything. And that touched me.
“How did you know?”
“Because it’s been three months since Vegas and you’ve always referred to him in vague terms,” said Bella. “You’re short with your answers. Intentionally non-descriptive. And you’ve never once showed any of us a photo. Including me.”
I was speechless. Caught between another series of fresh lies — lies my savvy friend would see right through — and the staggering truth.
“Okay,” I said. “It’s not a guy.”
Bella’s eyes narrowed for a moment before going wide again.
“A girl?”
“No, not a girl.”
My friend placed a fist against her ribs and shifted from one hip to the other. “Good, because in that case I might’ve been offended.” She winked at me. “You know if you ever decided to dabble that way…”
“Yeah yeah,” I laughed, poking her. “I know.”
“Who is it really then?” she said more seriously. When I still hesitated her shoulders went limp. “Come on, Lauren,” she sighed. “You know you can tell me, right?”
“I know.”
“And that I wouldn’t tell the others,” she added quickly. “Ever.”
I nodded. “I know that too. It’s just that—”
“And I wouldn’t judge. Not even a little bit.”
I stopped talking. Suddenly all the blood in my body was rushing to my head.
“And hey, considering all the stuff I’ve told you?” Bella went on. “It’s almost offensive that you wouldn’t—”
“It’s not a guy,” I said again flatly. “It’s… guys.”
There were a few seconds of awkward silence, as my friend wrestled with the meaning of what I’d just said. Then, all at once, her expression went from total confusion to utter astonishment.
“Guys… guys…” He eyes flew open. “Oh my God, you’re with two guys?”
I nodded, wincing.
“And they know about each other?”
“Yes.”
Bella read my face again, and she knew immediately. “Oh my God… you’ve been with them together haven’t you?” she went on. “Two guys at once?”
My silence was all the answer she needed. Her face broke into a grin of almost childlike wonder.
“Oh my God Lauren,” she said incredulously. “That’s incredible! I—I can’t believe it! I—”
She stopped, noticing that I’d winced again. My mouth tightened defensively, causing her brows to cross.
“What? What more could I possibly be missing?”
I couldn’t talk. Could barely breathe.
“Two guys, Lauren! Wow. No wonder you stayed an extra week! Two guys! Two—”
She stopped mid-sentence as I slowly swung my arm forward. Her eyes shifted to count the number of fingers I was holding up.
“Three.”
Fifty-Six
LAUREN
It took a good half-minute to bring Bella back from her state of shock. She stood there motionless, not even flinching as a bicycle courier sped by and splashed part of a leftover puddle all over her new boots.
Then I took her back to my apartment… and told her everything.
God, it felt so good to get it all out! So amazingly cathartic to finally have someone to talk to, and not have to keep up the lie. We went through a whole pot of coffee as I told her the entire sordid tale, starting with the drunken loneliness that led to me pulling down the flyer, and how nervous I was to meet the guys for the first time.
Bella listened intently as I told her about the sex. How I’d become addicted to it; two hot, amazingly-built men — college age guys, no less — lavishing all of their attention on me. I told her about Mason, and our time in the desert. I told her about LA, and Hollywood, and the things I’d done there. I finished by describing our last night together, high upon some far-flung desert ridge. The four of us camping and fucking, beneath the stars.
I showed her pictures too. Photos of all three of them, even a few of the more risque shots the boys had sent me from time to time, to get me juiced up. Nothing too graphic of course, but enough so she got the idea. And I told her about Rob. About his feeble attempt to get back into my pants, and how incredible it felt to see him slinking away with his tail between his legs.
“So they were here?” Bella asked at the end. “Corey and Brody? In your apartment?”
“For the past few days, yeah,” I admitted. “They went back yesterday. And I’m flying out tomorrow, just after lunch.”
“Holy shit,” my friend breathed. “You don’t waste time, do you?”
I kept laughing nervously, hoping she wouldn’t judge. In my heart of hearts I knew she wouldn’t, but I’d been wrong about people before.
Not about Bella, though. With her… I was pretty sure we were sisters in another life.
“So you’re not mad?” I said at last. “I mean… I’ve been lying to all of you.”
“Mad?” Bella yelled, pounding a fist on my kitchen table. “I’m jealous!”
A wave of relief flooded through me. I leaned closer and gave her a huge hug.
“You could’ve told me all this,” she said. “Way b
efore now.”
“I know.”
“Hell, I would’ve helped you lie. Told you to pick one of your three boyfriends and use a single photo at least, to make things more convincing.”
I nodded again. “I haven’t exactly been smart about—”
“The girls think you’re lying by the way,” Bella interjected.
“About what?”
“About the whole thing!” she laughed. “That you made up some super-amazing guy, who lives in Las Vegas. A guy who’s handsome and charming and great in bed, yet someone you don’t have a single photo of.”
“Why would they think I’m lying, though?”
Bella threw back the last of her coffee and wiped her lips with the back of one arm… despite the folded napkin I’d provided her.
“Well for one they think you’re still hung up on Rob,” she said. “You haven’t dated anyone else. Not even casually, just to get your rocks off. They see you as lonely and hurting. Totally despondent. Yet the moment we leave you in Vegas, you just happen to stumble across Mr. Right? Someone none of us ever saw, ever talked to, or ever got wind of while we were there?”
“I stayed an extra week though!” I cried. “If I were making it all up, why the hell would I do that? Would I really risk Lilith’s wrath for—”
I stopped. Bella was nodding already.
“Well shit,” I said, taken aback. “You guys must really think I’m pathetic.”
“Pathetic?” Bella laughed. “Not even close. In fact, you’re my hero!”
“Sure, but only because you know the truth…”
“Relax,” Bella assured me. “The others had good intentions. They were just lookin’ out for you, hoping you weren’t too lonely. And they did feel varying degrees of terrible for having to cut our vacation short. Including me.”
I guessed that much was true. The girls did call, they did text their apologies. And they had rallied behind me just now, when I’d lost my job.
“So tell me again, one more time,” Bella said, her voice going lower. She was grinning evilly. “What’s it really like?”
I smiled right back at her, and launched into details. I kept telling her I was addicted. That no matter what I did or where I went, I couldn’t stop thinking about all the unspeakably hot things the guys had done to me.
Even so, that wasn’t entirely right. I was addicted, but not just to the sex. I was addicted to the feelings, too. To the affection and closeness of our tight-knit little relationship.
I was addicted to hearing about Corey and Brody’s successes, and about how amazing Mason was doing out in LA. What had started as sex had turned into full-blown emotional attachment. We’d built bonds, the four of us. Indestructible ties that bound us together through our everyday lives.
“You’re in trouble,” Bella said abruptly.
Breaking my chain of thought, I stared back at her and blinked. “Why?”
“Because of the far-away look in your eyes, Lauren. I’ve seen that look. I know that look.”
I laughed her off. “What look?”
“You’re in trouble,” Bella said again. “Not with the girls, because they’ll never know. Not with anything else either, because with your job gone, and your ex never coming back again, life is pretty straightforward for you right now.”
I looked back at my friend. Stared right into her devious, all-knowing eyes. They were eyes that were studying me closely. Examining me, but not judging me.
“So why am I—”
“You’re in trouble because you love them.”
Fifty-Seven
LAUREN
Bella’s words rang in the back of my head for the rest of the day. They haunted me in a good way, but one that reminded me that maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t being entirely honest with myself.
Is she right? Do you love them?
The word ‘yes’ popped into my brain almost immediately. Of course I loved them. It was easy to love them.
But could you love them?
That was the better question, really. Whether or not I could fall in love with three men at the same time. Three men in two different states, two incredible cities, clear on the other side of the country from where I lived.
Dating them officially would be a logistical nightmare. In the past three months I’d seen just two of them, and only for a brief few days. They were incredible days mind you, capped off by even more incredible nights… but they were three days nonetheless.
Even if we lived in the same city, how would it work? I’d be one woman, dating three men simultaneously. Three different men, each with his own individual wants, needs, and desires. Three men who would demand roughly equal time with me, both inside the bedroom and out.
You’ve already done lots of things with them simultaneously, the voice in my head reminded me. Why not this?
I decided I could definitely try. And it would be fun… beyond fun, really. Not one, not two, but three boyfriends! Three times the romance! Three times the dates, dinners, birthday gifts…
I set my phone on the table, plugging it into the charger before dropping exhaustedly onto the couch. It had been a long, eventful day. A day capped off by one-too-many margaritas, and then a few bonus glasses of wine with Bella. All in all, it was a bad mix. My head was still spinning, even an hour after she’d left.
Besides, I thought to myself, would the guys even want to date me?
It was laughable to think so, but only at first. After all, Corey and Brody had stopped seeing other people. They’d remained celibate for more than three months, just to stay loyal to what we had.
Them handing me that flyer-phone was more than just a sweet gesture. It could easily be construed as an act of exclusivity. A promise to stay monogamous that ran mutually in both directions, theirs and mine. And when you boiled it all down… wasn’t that a relationship?
I thought it was. Even Mason had been ‘too busy’ to date, and he lived in Hollywood, practically drowning in beautiful women. Could it be possible he wanted to stay exclusive too? Even though we’d never discussed anything like this before, between any of us?
Slowly I brought my thumb and forefinger to my temples and squeezed. My headache had somewhat subsided, but the dizziness still wasn’t going away.
I guessed it would all make sense once I got to Las Vegas. I’d be staying with the guys this time. Any answers I needed would happen then.
For tonight, I could clear my head knowing everything was done. I was already packed, all ready to go. I could kick my feet up. Maybe catch up on some shows, or—
BZZZZZT… BZZZZZT…
I rolled my eyes at the sound of my phone, vibrating across the kitchen table. The gods of relaxation were certainly not with me. It was probably one of my friends, saying some last-minute goodbyes and imparting the usual unwanted advice. Then again, maybe it was Corey, or Brody, or Mason…
Struggling to my feet, I got up and checked. The number wasn’t recognizable at all. Under normal circumstances I’d let it go to voicemail, but I had a plane ticket for tomorrow and for all I knew it could be the airline upgrading me to first class.
More like giving away your seat, I chuckled to myself.
“Hello?”
“Hi there,” the voice at the other end of the phone said. It was a man; prim, proper, and polite. “Ms. Hansen?”
“Adamo,” I corrected, although I still hadn’t changed my name back.
“My apologies Ms. Adamo, I was given the wrong information,” the man said smoothly. “This is Jack Garfield. I’m the—”
“I know who you are Mr. Garfield,” I interrupted him.
“Ah, yes. Very good. But please, call me Jack.”
Without realizing it, my whole body had gone rigid. Jack Garfield was the owner and CEO of the firm. The man in the office at the very top of the building. The big boss.
“O—Okay,” I stammered.
I’d never seen the man in person, only in photos. And in every one of those he was golfing, or boating, or d
eep sea fishing. There was a near poster-sized image of him that hung in the hallway not far from my office. In that one, he was ice-climbing.
“I was hoping to talk to you about your employment with the company,” the man said.
I squinted a little, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It never did.
“I’m no longer employed with the company,” I pointed out.
“Unfortunately no,” Jack said politely. “But that’s exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. It’s a little late tonight, but can I take you to lunch tomorrow?”
The boss — the big boss — wanted to talk to me. Apparently, as soon as possible.
“No, I’m sorry,” I said. “Tomorrow’s no good.”
“The day after then?”
“I’m flying out tomorrow,” I explained. “If you could tell me what this was abou—”
“This sort of thing needs to be done in person,” he said. His voice was amazingly deep and authoritative. Exactly the voice you’d expect him to have, judging from his pictures.
Your exit interview — the one Lilith never got to give you. That’s what he wants.
My stomach dropped. For the past few years I would’ve been overjoyed to sit down with this man. But now…
“I’m afraid it will have to wait,” was all I could think of to say.
“Until you get back.”
“Yes.”
The sigh at the other end of the phone wasn’t exactly frustration; it was more the sound of someone not used to hearing the word ‘no.’ I could hear Jack Garfield shifting in his big leather seat, maybe even switching the phone from one ear to the other.
“Breakfast then, before your flight,” he said. “There’s a place on the corner of east 31st and 3rd. Do you know it?”
Accessing my mental map took all of two seconds. “Moonstruck. Yes.”
“Good. Let’s say, seven o’clock tomorrow morning?”
Damn. The man was nothing if not persistent.
“You sure you’re up that early?” I teased, without even thinking.
For a moment I thought I’d gone too far. Then I heard the deep chuckle at the other end of the phone.