by West, Everly
Her mother's voice grew lower. "Prostitution -- a whore. All women need a man like a father or husband to protect them, or they could be forced into sex with a stranger."
With a sigh, she listened to the newest worries from her mother. While she may be a wild woman, she would never become a whore.
"Is sex fun? Some girls say it is."
"Jennie," her mother said loudly. "That is between you and your husband. I'm not going to answer that question. You'll find out when you marry."
Why did an invisible wall surround the subject when it came to sex and marriage and the only way you learned about the secret was to say I do. What did you do if you weren't compatible?
"Well, was it good between you and Papa?"
"That, young lady, is none of your business."
With a sigh, Jennie shrugged and noticed the color on her mother's cheeks. Clearly, she'd embarrassed her and that never happened. "Sometimes there are noises coming from your room, and from the sounds, you and Papa are having a lot of fun. You even giggle occasionally."
"Jennie O'Brian, you will stop talking. I'm not going to discuss this with you."
The urge to laugh out loud overwhelmed her, but she restrained herself to a smile and enjoyed seeing her mother so agitated.
"Well, I'm just wondering if I'm missing out on something fun."
"When you are a married woman, you'll find out. Until then, you will not speak of sexual relations again, do you understand me?"
Unable to contain her grin, she glanced at her mother. While she knew better than to push this any further, seeing her mother become all flustered talking about sex was entertaining at least.
Hattie opened her bedroom door. "Your feller is downstairs waiting on you."
"I'll go down first, and in a moment, you follow me," her mother said. "Our conversation tonight is at an end."
It was hard to contain the giggle she so wanted to express, but that would only get her into even more trouble. "Yes, ma'am," she said dutifully.
* * *
Later, they walked out of the house and down the stairs. She gazed at Milton, his emerald eyes warmed at the sight of her. Could she marry this man? Did she want to? At this moment, she still had doubts. All she knew was they were being thrown together.
"We're going into town to dine at the hotel," he told her father. "We'll return no later than eight o'clock."
"Dining room only," her mother said. "Don't forget, my spies are watching."
Of course, her mother had spies observing her every move. Had they seen her go into the gambling hall? Not possible, or she would have awoken this morning in the convent.
"We'll be waiting up when you return," her father said. "Be careful."
Taking her by the elbow, Milton escorted her to the wagon. "Your father told me you were a precocious child and my boys reminded him of how much he chased you as a small girl."
It was true, and she still remembered getting more spankings than either of her sisters.
Lifting her into the wagon, he climbed in beside her, and she smiled at him. "But I never drove off and left my family stranded somewhere."
"Yes, well, I don't think George will do that again. At least, I hope he learned his lesson."
"How is Paul," she asked.
"He's been a little more subdued this week. Kind of shocking, but he's doing all right."
The sun was just beginning its descent into the western sky, orange rays shooting out from the horizon. "We could skip the restaurant and just sit out here and watch the setting sun, the stars, and kiss a little."
His head jerked around, and his brows drew together. "And let the witnesses get back to your mother that you never arrived. Not a good idea."
"Oh, I don't believe she has spies at the hotel."
If she had spies, Jennie would be staring out the window of an abbey at this moment.
"Or we could go to the gambling hall and play for a couple hours. Playing would give me a chance to take more of your money," she said, knowing this was what she would really like to do, but certain he wouldn't dare go there. At least not tonight.
They rode along in silence for a few minutes. "Are you just wanting to find trouble?"
"Yes, I feel restless. I feel the need to do something totally out of line for a woman. Before I marry any man, I have a list of things I intend to experience."
The sun sank lower as he pulled the wagon in front of the hotel. For some reason after talking to her mother, all the uncertainty about her life piled up, and she didn't know what she wanted. Dining in the restaurant seemed boring and dull. Right now, she needed exciting.
"Tell me some things on your list that you want to try."
"Well, I want to shoot a pistol, smoke a cigar, drink some whiskey, dance in a dance hall and kiss a man," she said. "And not that peck on the lips kind of kiss, I want a real honest to goodness melt-my-shoes experience.”
A grin spread across his face. "Have dinner with me, then I'll take you into the bar, and we'll get a sip of whiskey."
At least he considered her wishes and didn't act like she was crazy. Why didn't other women struggle with these feelings or did they and no one spoke of such desires?
"What about smoking?"
"Can we save that for another night? Sometimes smoking can make you ill. Tonight, I'm not ready to deal with a sick woman."
A smile crossed her face. "Let's go to the bar first, before we eat. Then if the whiskey affects me, the food will hopefully absorb the alcohol."
After he jumped down from the wagon, his hands gripped her waist as he set her on the ground. They were face to face, standing in front of the hotel, his bright green eyes filling her with warmth. His hands left her tingling. "Would our marriage be like this? Would you give me new experiences that satisfy the curiosity in me?"
An odd gaze came into his eyes as he pulled away from her. "I'll do my best."
Something about the way he said it made her doubt him. Some moments, he was so warm, and she could tell he was attracted to her, and then suddenly a coldness seemed to overcome him and that scared her. Not because she believed he would harm her, but rather it felt like a wall existed between them.
Walking into the hotel, he placed her hand in the crook of his arm and headed straight to the bar. "For goodness sake, I hope your mother never learns I brought you here, or she would be furious."
"Yes, she would," she said. "But I always like to infuriate Mother."
Shaking his head, he laughed. "Maybe there's a reason you get along with my boys so well. You relate to them by irritating your parents."
"Maybe," she said. "In them I see the same kindred spirit who is inquisitive and wants to learn more about life but feels like they're being held back."
A gilded cage whereas long as she behaved like the perfect Victorian woman, she was given moments of freedom.
"Oh, so tying up their nanny and threatening to burn her, that's being inquisitive?"
"No, that shows they have vivid imaginations."
As they walked into the bar area of the hotel, the place looked almost identical to the gambling hall with the ornate mirror hanging behind the counter. Men sat on stools sipping their drink of choice as they watched people enter the room in the reflection of the mirror.
At a small table, Milton pulled out a chair for her and took the seat across from her. Glancing around, only one other woman was in the bar. Dressed in a low-cut bodice that exposed more flesh than even Jennie considered proper.
"Look at that woman," she said, whispering.
Turning, Milton glanced over. "We should go."
"Why? No, you promised me a drink tonight and I'm not leaving until I have one."
A groan escaped his lips.
"She's headed this way," she said.
"Milton," the woman drawled. "Where have you been? It's been weeks."
"Savanah, so good to see you," he said. "Do you know Jennie O'Brian?"
The woman stared at her and from her cold expression,
Jennie thought the woman didn't like her.
"Of course not," the woman said. "Good to meet you. Your usual time on Tuesday?"
Milton's face blushed, and he licked his lips nervously.
"Not this week. I'll let you know," he said, shaking his head.
What were they talking about? Somehow Jennie had the oddest suspicion Milton knew this woman. Like they had an appointment.
"Nice to see you," she said and walked out the door.
"Who was that?" Jennie asked. An air of refined beauty and something else made the woman different.
He motioned for the bartender and ordered their drinks. "Someone I use to have dinner with once a week."
"Oh," she said. "What a beautiful, but daring, gown."
Could the woman be a...no, Milton would never sleep with a woman who...would he?
When the barkeep set their drinks down, she glanced at the liquor. Lifting the glass to her nose, she sniffed the strong smell.
Milton gazed at her, his eyes warm as he lifted his glass to hers and the two of them clanked them together. "To a happy future with the most beautiful woman in Laramie."
He tossed back the whiskey and she did the same. Her eyes widened, and she coughed as the alcohol burned down her throat. Gasping, she slapped her chest.
What did men like about this nasty drink? Now she could say she tried the vile stuff and definitely didn't want anymore. One more item crossed off her list.
"Why didn't you warn me?" she asked, tears in her eyes.
A smile spread over his face. "Because you wanted to experience something new tonight. Sometimes it's better if you don't realize what's coming."
After a few minutes, warmth began to spread through her, and she leaned across the table and smiled. Now she understood why men enjoyed drinking whiskey. Not for the taste, but the effects. "That warm sensation is really pleasant and if I wasn't certain the drink would make me drunk, I'd order another."
"And that is why you don't need another. Let's find you something to eat before your mother has her spies attack me."
A giggle escaped her as she took his hand when he helped her from the chair. Together they walked into the hallway. "My legs are a little rubbery. Don't let me fall."
"No," he said laughing. "Now, aren't you glad you didn't have a second one?"
Oh, yes, she realized he was right. Only one drink affected her limbs this much, two would cause him to carry her out of here.
"No, but it's probably for the best."
She turned to him, her heart fluttering. "Kiss me."
Tonight she felt reckless, and she wanted to experience a kiss that would confirm if Milton and her were even possible. If he couldn't give her a melt-her-shoes kind of kiss, then they were done. Never had she experienced a kiss, but before she married, she was determined to learn if passion existed between them.
"Now?"
"Yes," she said.
The kiss he gave her was soft, nothing like what she expected.
With her hands, she pulled his head down and pressed her lips against his. His arms curled around her, and he gave her the kind of kiss she dreamed of experiencing. A ripple of desire and heat spread through her body when he pushed against her, letting her see how she affected him.
Right there, in the hallway of the hotel lobby, his lips covered hers, and he ravished her mouth, leaving her feeling like a wanton. Reckless and wanting.
Someone walked by and cleared their throat, bringing them back to the present.
Stepping back, she looked dazed and her lips were swollen from his kiss. Her hand reached up and touched her mouth. The warmth of the whiskey flowed through her veins and something else left her warm and giddy.
"Milton," she gasped, staring at him stunned, "are my shoes still on? That kiss melted them right off my feet."
Chapter Four
The evening with Jennie had been fun. The woman knew how to keep a man on his toes, but when Savanah showed up, he'd feared disaster. He wasn't certain Jennie understood the type of woman Savanah was. And since she knew he had dinner with her one night a week, he would never inform her.
With no nanny and courting Jennie, he stopped seeing Savanah. Though if he and Jennie married, he might continue to seek his release there so his wife would not get pregnant. The thought of Jennie writhing in pain and dying because of him was more than he could endure. Once was enough.
Tonight, the boys went to bed early and his housekeeper told him she would keep an ear out for them. So he decided to sneak down to the gambling hall and experience some fun of his own.
Now here he sat at the table, sipping on a glass of whiskey, waiting on the dealer to deal the next hand, when he heard her voice.
"Good evening, gentlemen. Mind if I join you?"
He glanced at her and shook his head. "What are you doing here?"
Tonight she wore a very respectable, proper gown that complimented her auburn hair and made her sapphire eyes appear bluer than the Wyoming sky. As a proper woman, she had no place here, and yet he couldn't say a word without her running in the opposite direction.
"I've come to gamble," she said, smiling. "Waiter, would you bring me a glass of whiskey?"
His mouth fell open. This was the woman he planned to marry? The woman he would entrust his children with? A cringe filled him. One of the ways he enticed her to court him was by promising her he would allow her to gamble. Why did that idea now seem ludicrous?
Jennie laid her silver dollars down and smiled at the men. "All right, gentleman, let's play seven card stud."
For the next two hours, she played, winning a hand, losing a hand, but mostly taking the money of all the men at the table. Including Milton's. Finally, she glanced at her watch. "Gentleman, as much as I hate to take your cash and run, I must go. It's been such a lovely evening. Let's do this again soon."
Milton placed his money in his pocket. "I’m leaving with the lady."
Whirling around, she turned and gave him a look that warned him she wanted no interference. "No, you're not."
"I'll see you home," he said.
"No, you can't or my mother will know something is wrong."
She started walking toward the door and he followed her. "Fine, I'll follow behind until you reach the ranch."
Lifting her hand, she waved him off. "I'll be all right. Besides, you're taking me to dinner on Friday night."
It was true, they were having dinner again, and he hoped their courtship would progress a little further. But the idea of her riding home alone in the darkness had him following her.
As she stepped onto the porch to her home, he caught a glance of her mother and father standing outside waiting. For a moment, his heart seemed to stop as shock rippled through him. How did they know?
"What in the hell is going on here," her father said, his eyes glaring with anger.
"Young lady, you are in so much trouble," her mother said quietly. "Sister Beatrice will be looking forward to seeing you."
Jennie stopped and stared at them, her mouth open as she searched for some kind of excuse.
"This is all my fault. She was with me," Milton said, stepping beside her.
Turning, her eyes narrowed and she glared at him. A moment of tense silence filled the air and her father shook his head.
"Milton, my house tomorrow afternoon at two. Be prepared to talk marriage."
"What? No, Papa," Jennie cried.
"Let's go," her mother said, taking her by the arm. She gave a quick glance back at him and he knew tonight sealed their fate.
* * *
On the ride back to the ranch, Jennie sat between her father and mother in the buggy. How had they known when she left? After the lights went out, she waited until she believed they were asleep before she slipped from her room.
A restlessness had overcome her, and she couldn't stand being cooped inside the house a moment longer. Like a bird, she needed to escape and take flight. She needed to find fun and laughter and gambling. Something to ease this loneli
ness.
"I didn't do anything wrong," she said. "Milton happened to be there. He was surprised when I showed up."
Her parents didn't say a word, her father drove the team of horses, her mother rocked in the wagon beside her.
"Aren't you going to say anything?"
"Nothing left to say. He will marry my daughter or face the end of my shotgun," her father said.
Oh, no, this was the worst. Yes, he was courting her, but she wasn't ready to take that final step.
"Why? Nothing happened."
"A good woman does not go into a gambling establishment, with or without a man. It just isn't done. Especially a young woman like yourself. Any one of those men could have followed you home in the darkness and..."
What they didn't know was she carried a pistol with her when she made these nighttime trips. And she enjoyed being out in the moonlight, riding her horse, just the two of them alone. Sure, there was an element of danger, but that was part of the excitement.
"What if I don't want to marry him?"
Why did her mother and now her father want to rush her into a commitment that would last a lifetime?
"Guess you should have thought of that before you went traipsing out to meet him at the gambling hall."
Shaking her head, she thought of the twins, and Milton. While she liked his kisses, his kids were all right, but mainly she hadn't finished her list of things to do before she settled down.
"No, I refuse to marry him," she said suddenly. "You can't make me."
Her mother laughed. "Fine. Your father will tell him your decision when he comes to talk. Your bags should be packed because we will be taking you to Saint Catherine's Convent the day after tomorrow. Never imagined you would be the daughter to take the vows, but who knows, it might be for the best."
Oh, no, she would never live her life as a nun. That would be the absolute worst thing. So many things she liked about Milton. But she wanted more time to get to know him, to make certain he was the man who would accommodate her. She needed more time.