by BJ Harvey
I tilt my head. “Oh, I’m sorry. Was there a proposition in there somewhere? I must have missed it.” I smile saccharine sweet, and he grumbles under his breath.
I’m not saying sex with Ezra is off the table indefinitely, but it sure as hell isn’t the top of my list when at any moment, I might have to run to the bathroom. We also need to discuss what we’re going to do moving forward. I need to take his pulse on where he’s at and then we can come up with a plan.
I move around the island to head for the refrigerator. “And for the record, technically, I turned down your proposal on Sunday.”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “Damn. You totally just went there. I was in shock. I sometimes do stupid things on the fly.”
I look over my shoulder and catch his eyes roaming over my ass and legs before drifting up to meet mine. “Yeah. I guess we all do. I wasn’t completely blameless either.”
“But we’re moving past it now, right?” he asks. There’s a flicker of hope in his gaze, which reassures me that we’re going to be okay.
“Yep. Now your baby is hungry, so your first order of duty is to feed me, then we’ll talk it out. Okay?”
He gives me a mock salute, his body slumping down as the tension he was obviously holding all but disappears. Thank God for that. Now I just need to sort my own nerves out, and we’ll all be fine.
Twenty minutes later, we’ve finished the food, and we’re both leaning back on my sofa.
He leans over and takes my plate and puts it along with his on the table. “So…” he says, breaking the comfortable silence. “I was wondering if I could go first.”
I turn my body toward him, bending a leg up on the couch, and settle in.
He locks his eyes with mine. “Okay,” he breathes. “Neither one of us expected or planned this, and if Sunday taught us anything, it’s that we are both still getting our heads around the fact we’re having a baby together and everything that entails.”
I nod, urging him to continue. My stomach churns but not with nerves. I grab the bottle of water from beside me and take a healthy gulp.
“And it’s obvious from the stupid way I reacted when you told me that you caught me by surprise.” He leans over and rests his hand on my knee. “But I’m in. I want to be there for you and the baby the whole way through. However I can help, whatever I can do, wherever you need me to be, I’m here—doctor visits, scans, birthing classes—everything. I want to experience everything you do… except the birthing part. I can’t really take your place there.” He looks meek for just a moment, and my heart does a somersault.
I stare at him, wondering how this man is not only single, but divorced twice. His ex-wives must’ve been total idiots to let him go.
Tears prick my eyes. Again? C’mon!
Ezra’s expression falters.
“Shit,” he mutters, moving beside me and wrapping an arm around me. I rest my head on his shoulder as I try to get my shit together. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No,” I hiccup. “You said something right.”
He curls me deeper into his side and glides a hand up and down my back. “Uh… okay. Why am I not convinced?”
“It’s just hormones. The damn things are making me soft and mushy. I cry at the drop of a hat it seems.”
His chest vibrates against mine, his warm chuckle surprisingly soothing. “I can deal with that.”
I sit up and look at him. “I’m not even sure I can deal with it. I’m not some weepy woman who cries at everything. I’m a strong, independent—”
He reaches out and smooths my hair behind my ear before gently resting his hand on my head, rendering me speechless.
“Beautiful, caring, thoughtful…” His eyes are soft and gentle, and my chest tightens.
“You’re going to make me cry,”
“You cry all you want,” he says, moving me back down to rest on his shoulder. “I said I’m in, and if that means you cry, yell, and rough me around a little, have at it. I’m not going anywhere.”
Warmth and relief I didn’t expect to feel course through me, swaddling me like a fuzzy blanket. We stay like that for a while, his long, soothing strokes up and down my back almost sending me to sleep.
“You okay there?” he says with a chuckle.
“Mm-hmm.”
“You going to sleep on me?”
“No,” I mumble, burrowing my head deeper and lifting my legs to drape over his lap, settling in against him.
He chuckles. “Sure. I believe you, Counselor.”
“Good,” I say, my eyes slowly closing, total exhaustion hitting me like a brick wall. “I’ll never lie to you, Ez, but I don’t know what this means for us.”
“That’s for another time, sweetheart. Just relax and go to sleep. I’ll put you to bed before I leave.”
I reach out, running my hand down his arm, tangling my fingers with his and giving a gentle squeeze. “Stay.”
“Okay,” he says. Then his grip tightens around me, and he’s letting out a soft grunt as he stands with me in his arms.
That’s the last thing I remember until the next morning, and the only sign of Ezra having been there is a note on my kitchen counter.
“Baby Mama, there’s a decaf pod in the Keurig with your name on it. I had an early meeting otherwise I wouldn’t have left. I know we still have stuff to talk about, but thank you for last night and for letting me be involved. I’ll text you later to see how you’re feeling, but message me if there’s anything you need. From your baby daddy.”
Ezra
“Hey,” I say, standing from my seat as Gilly walks into the reception area of her law firm.
It’s a week and a half since she told me she was pregnant, and I’m picking her up early from work so we can go for her first baby ultrasound and ten-week OB/GYN checkup.
I look her up and down, not missing the chance to enjoy the sight of her in a tailored suit, stockings, and heels.
“Sorry I’m late. I got held up,” she says, huffing out a breath and looking a little flustered.
“It’s okay,” I say, going to hug her, feeling the need to soothe and protect her. She stills, and I realize my mistake. Dumbass.
Quickly taking a step back, I glance around to check how badly I screwed up, breathing a sigh of relief when not even the receptionist is looking our way.
I meet her frown. “Sorry. I didn’t think.”
“It’s okay. I shouldn’t have overreacted. It’s just my dad—”
“Let’s get going, in case I slip up again.” I press my hand to the small of her back. “Do you have your coat?”
Her eyes widen. “Shit. Two seconds. Hold this.” She shoves her purse into my hands and rushes back down the corridor, presumably to her office. Moments later, Gilly and her flushed cheeks come back into sight.
She lets out a big breath when she reaches my side again. “Okay, okay. I’m good now.”
I take my time to scan her slowly down to those sexy-ass heels and back to her face again, loving the heated gaze I lock eyes with when I get there. “Yeah, you are, but how about you turn around, and we actually get your coat on so you and my baby don’t freeze the moment we get out of the building.”
Her cheeks turn a gratifying shade of pink. “Behave,” she whispers, a smile playing on her lips as I hand back her purse and take her coat off her hands, twirling my finger in the air so she’ll turn around.
One arm at a time, I help settle the garment on her shoulders, giving her an affectionate squeeze in lieu of the kiss on the neck I really want to give her. Time and a place, Baker.
We walk to the elevator and push the call button. I stand there feeling a little awkward; her reaction still bugging me a little.
“Excited to see the mini Blackhawk?” I ask, not liking how off-kilter I am.
She turns her head, her lips twitching. “Or maybe it’s going to be a girl that’ll have you wrapped around her little finger?”
I shrug because either option would be fine by me.
“Is that what you want?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it.”
She grins and leans in. “Besides, it’s not me who determined that. That’s all you.”
The gentle smile she gifts me could be my undoing. I reach my hand out just as the doors slide open and Gilly jolts before her body language goes tense, and I experience a mask slipping in place. And I don’t like it one bit.
“Hello Dad. I wasn’t expecting you back so soon,” she says as her father steps out of the elevator car. He nods briefly at his daughter before pinning his eyes on me, one arm outstretched.
“Keith Nelson. I don’t believe we’ve met.”
Gilly’s eyes bug out at me, her complexion pale.
I shake his hand firmly and pull away. “Ezra Baker. Gilly was just showing me out.”
Her father’s astute eyes return to his daughter.
“Leaving early again?” Keith says, and it takes everything in me not to put the miserable prick in his place. One look at Gilly, and it’s like she’s an entire other person, not the strong-willed, quick-witted firecracker who propositioned me in a Vegas bar, who isn’t afraid to go toe-to-toe with anybody. Normally, anyway.
“I’ve got a meeting—”
“With me,” I say, without any further explanation.
Keith’s eyes flash with surprise. “Okay. I don’t remember seeing that on your calendar.”
“It was a last-minute thing,” Gilly replies.
“All right. Then don’t let me keep you.” He turns to me. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Baker.”
I nod, but don’t say a word. Then again, neither does he and just as fast as he arrived, he’s gone again, walking over to the reception desk. I press the elevator call button, and thankfully the doors open quickly, and I follow Gilly inside.
“Well, that was something,” I say when we start moving down.
Gilly’s head jerks my way. “What was?”
I turn to face her, keeping my hands in my pockets.
“I understand why you didn’t want me to hug you now. At first I didn’t, but now I see it.”
Her brows bunch together. “What do you mean? I just don’t like spreading my personal business far and wide,” she says defensively.
I look her straight in the eye. “Yeah, I get that. But it’s also got to do with your dad. I’m just so used to being tactile with you, I didn’t even think.”
She leans against the wall of the elevator, and for a moment, I imagine holding her there and kissing the living hell out of her. Or dropping to my knees, hitching up her skirt and…
She grabs my hand and steps closer to rest it on her stomach, instantly garnering my attention. “I haven’t told anyone in the office about the baby. I wanted to wait until we got past the first trimester. My father is…”
“Difficult. Hardcore. Controlling?” I say.
Her mouth drops open, but she recovers quickly. “Was it Jax or Ronnie who told you?”
“Jax, Ronnie, and you.”
She scrunches her nose up. “Me?”
“Yeah, Gilly. You. I watch. I listen. I take notice.”
A slow-growing grin curves her lips as she just stands there, staring at me. “Nothing fazes you, does it?”
My head jerks. “Uh, yeah, it does. You told me we were having a baby, and I instantly declared we should get married.”
Gilly giggles, letting go of my hand and letting out a huge breath, which does a lot for my own state of tension. “You just met my father for the first time, and you didn’t even flinch.”
“He’s just a man, baby mama. Just skin and bone like the rest of us.”
Her eyes warm when I call her that, and I make a vow to earn a look like that whenever possible.
“You were so on edge with your dad. It’s not the ball-busting, take-charge woman I know.”
“You just want me to whip out the handcuffs again.”
I don’t know what it is, but her thinking I’m only about the sex irks me.
When I don’t say anything to that, she redirects. “My father is a complicated man.”
“He’s also a prick.” Her eyes widen. “What? He is. I’ve dealt with guys like him before. They like their egos stroked, and their pockets lined.”
“Yeah. He’s kind of old school. He likes to be in charge of everything and everyone.”
“Bet he likes his ass being kissed too,” I snide.
Gilly’s lips turn up, and my chest eases. “There wasn’t much affection growing up. He wanted us to excel in everything we did.”
“And you’ve achieved that. Equity partner at thirty-four, wasn’t it?”
“You remember that?”
Play it cool, Baker. “I take notice of stuff that wows me.”
Her eyes go glassy, and I wonder if I’ll survive seven months of a cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat pregnant woman.
She smirks. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”
I bend my head down and grin. “Only the pretty pregnant ones carrying my baby.”
She shakes her head but does it with a small smile. I scored with that one. Pushing my luck and hoping she doesn’t pull away again, I hold out my hand for hers when we reach the parking garage of her building. She looks down then up to my face. When I quirk a brow, she bites her lip, but after only a second of indecision, she laces her fingers with mine, and I lead her out of the elevator. Small steps… baby steps even. I just have to hope I don’t fall hard and fast for this fascinating woman before getting from the us we were to the us I want us to be.
Thirty minutes later, we’re sitting in the waiting area at the OB/GYN. I‘m looking around the well-appointed walls, taking a mental note to tell Jamie about the use of prefabricated plaster cornices in his flips. Whereas Gilly sits beside me, back straight, ankles crossed, and her right foot tapping a staccato beat on the floor.
I rest my hand on her leg to stop it moving.
“Nervous?” I ask quietly.
“Yeah. I mean, I went to a few of these with Ronnie, so I know what to expect, but it’s different.”
“It is,” I say, sliding my palm over her knee. “Because it’s our baby we’re about to see.”
She smiles. “Are you excited?” I don’t miss the small amount of uncertainty in her gaze.
“I am.”
Her eyes narrow. “Are you just saying that?”
“Nope. I’m not. I said I’m all in. I want to be. I don’t want to miss a single thing; doctor’s visits, scans, all of it.”
“Do you know what’s about to happen?” she asks, quirking a brow.
“Not exactly. I guess they’ll check you over then do the ultrasound thing on your stomach.” When she doesn’t say anything, I get worried. “Right?”
“You’ll see.”
Before I can ask what she’s not telling me, her name is called by the nurse, and we’re walking through the doors and being led into a consulting room. Gilly is handed a gown, and the nurse gives us a smile.
“Since it’s your first visit here with us, if you’d like to take your pants and underwear off and put this gown on, I’ll be back shortly to take some blood and check your vitals. Okay?”
“Thank you,” Gilly replies.
I speak up before the nurse leaves the room. “Ah, can I ask what the blood tests are for?”
“Absolutely. They’re just to check that the mother is healthy and has no underlying health issues that might make it a high-risk pregnancy. Every appointment we check, not just the baby’s progress but also the mother since she’s the one carrying the child.”
“Thank you. I’m new to all of this,” I say, waving my hand in the air.
“It’s totally normal. My husband was the same when I had our first son. It’s hard seeing your loved one go through the birth, but my husband said it’s just as hard seeing them poked and prodded during the pregnancy. The fact you’re worried just means you love your wife.”
“We’re not marr—” Gilly says at the same time as I
say, “thank you.”
The nurse looks between the two of us, lips twitching. “Okay. I’ll leave you to get changed. Just flick the switch by the door when you’re ready. Then I’ll come back, and we can get started.”
When the door clicks shut, Gilly pins me with a glare. “You could’ve corrected her.”
I lean back in my seat, crossing my arms over my chest. “Why? It’s not that horrible of an assumption, is it?”
“But it’s not like that!”
My brows narrow. “Are we not having a baby together?”
She rolls her eyes. “Of course we are.”
“And did we not agree that we’re doing this together?”
“We did, but—”
“Yes. We did. And sometimes, it’s natural for people to assume we are together as in together. What you don’t have to do is get defensive like it’s the most horrible thing in the world to think about.”
“I—” She cuts herself off. Her shoulders slump, and she sighs.
“Okay. I won’t get so uptight if and when people think we’re a couple.”
I frown but decide to drop it. I don’t want to argue with her about this when the fact is, right now, we’re not a couple. That’s not to say I’m not going to work toward that though.
My mind blanks when Gilly slips off her suit jacket.
“Let me help you,” I say, jumping to my feet.
She narrows her eyes. “I think I can manage.”
I stand close behind her, running my fingers up her arms and easing her white silk blouse over her head, leaving her in a light pink lace bra.
“Give me a moment,” I say roughly, my eyes roaming over the smooth, flawless skin of her front. I close the distance between us, pressing my chest to hers and lower my head to brush a soft kiss on her lips. Her tremble is all the gratification I need.
“I’ve been wanting to do that since I first saw you at your office.”
She turns her head to look back at me. “Really?”
I lean in and dip my chin, bringing my face close to hers. “Really.”
My hands glide down to frame her waist, and we stand there, stuck in the moment. Her eyes are hooded as they drift down to my mouth. She licks her lips, and I know there’s no missing my body’s reaction to her since it’s pressing into the curve of her ass.