by Danica Flynn
“Come on, I tell you about all the girls I date,” he whined.
I just put my head in my hands and laughed. “Not that I want to know about them.”
“Did you finally fuck your neighbor who has the hots for you?”
“What?”
“The hockey player...Kennedy right? Noah Kennedy?” he asked like he was unsure of the name. I saw him typing away at his computer, probably pulling The Bulldogs roster list up on his computer. He was nodding, so I knew he confirmed he got Noah’s name right.
I held up my hands. “Wait, wait, wait, you think Noah Kennedy has the hots for me?” I asked. Yeah, we had slept together, but I thought maybe that was just all it was. Had Noah been pining for me this whole time?
Matt looked at me like I was the biggest idiot on the planet. “Yeah, you brought him to the Christmas party. He was like undressing you with his eyes the entire time.”
Maybe it was just a physical thing then. I bit my lip and looked up to the ceiling hoping he wouldn’t notice.
Matt’s eyes widened. “Holy shit, you totally fucked.” He started laughing. “Oh my god, good for you.”
“NO COMMENT!”
“We’re going to happy hour tonight and you’re gonna tell me everything!”
“NO COMMENT!”
I tried to focus on work, but it was hard, because all I was thinking about was Noah and his big hands roaming all over my body last night. And how much I wanted to do it again.
8
NOAH
I honestly had no intention of going over to Dinah’s to have my way with her, but I was so glad it had happened. Also glad she didn’t get mad that I stayed over and held her while we slept. I was a little bummed I didn’t get to tell her how I felt. That this wasn’t just sex for me, and I had been harboring a crush for her for years. She seemed so cavalier about the whole thing, and that kind of upset me because I wanted her to know that this was something real to me. I did feel slightly guilty that I made her late to work this morning.
I laid in her bed after she left, and drank in her scent. I smelled her all over me, and I didn’t want to wash it off, but I should probably shower. We had practice later and then a game tomorrow, so it wasn’t like I really had time to think about it. I just really didn’t feel like going next door and having to deal with TJ razing me.
Speaking of which, my phone buzzed with messages from him that caused me to finally decide to get up out of her bed and put some clothes on.
TJ: Are you done fucking our neighbor?
TJ: Kens! We have practice today!
I put my phone into the pocket of my jeans, locked up Dinah’s place and walked into my shared condo with my teammate. TJ and Hallsy were in the living room playing on our gaming console. Hallsy looked at me curiously. “Weren’t you wearing that yesterday?” he asked. His lips were curled up into a sly smile and his dark eyes twinkled in mirth, so I knew he was just teasing me.
“No comment,” I deadpanned.
TJ smirked. “Ask him where he’s been all night.”
Hallsy smiled. “Oh shit, did you finally do it with your neighbor? NICE, bro.”
I gave them both the finger and walked into the shower attached to my room. I was glad when TJ and I signed this mortgage together that both of the bedrooms had their own bathrooms. I wasn’t sure exactly how to approach things with Dinah. I didn’t want it to just be sex, but I think I could handle that if that’s what she wanted from me. I wanted something more, something real with her. I had to remember that she might not be feeling the same way. She wasn’t the one who harbored feelings for me for the past couple of years. For her, this was completely new and I had to keep on reminding myself of that.
After I got out of the shower and dressed, I flopped on my bed and looked at my phone. We had practice in a little bit, but I couldn’t help myself from texting Dinah. Even though I knew she was at work and she might not see my messages for a while.
ME: I hope things aren’t weird between us now.
ME: I hope that doesn’t make it weirder now.
ME: I have a game tomorrow, but do you want to do something tonight?
DINAH: I’m being forced into happy hour with coworkers.
DINAH: Please send help. Also you gave me a HICKEY. Who does that outside of 15 year olds?
I smiled at that and texted back.
ME: I can come rescue you, tell me when and where.
DINAH: FIIINNE. I’m in meetings for the rest of the day.
I put my phone away and TJ walked into my room. “You ready to head out?” he asked.
I nodded and walked with him and Hallsy out to my car. TJ had driven last time, so I agreed to drive us to the practice facility in the suburbs. Even though things were weird between Dinah and I, or at least I thought they were, I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. So much so that even the Captain had to say something while I was lacing up my skates.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen your face look like that,” Girard commented with a laugh.
“What?” I asked.
TJ threw a towel at my head. “He’s been like that all morning.”
Riley cocked his head at me. “So does that mean I can’t ask out your neighbor?”
“NO!” I yelled.
Riley smirked. “About damn time. You deserve happiness man, congrats.”
At twenty-seven, Riley was like an old guy in the dressing room. He was a vet in the league and he tended to always take us younger guys under his wing. I joked that he was a fuckboy, but he really was a good guy at his core. He just tended to be a guy into casual hookups, like TJ. Nothing wrong with that, but I was never that guy. Also, he was like obsessed with watching game tape. Like no other player I have ever seen.
Benny who sat on my other side in the dressing room, clapped me on the back and smirked. Benny was the biggest guy on the team, so I think a lot of people thought he was a stoic giant, but I had a feeling he was a lot more sensitive than everyone gave him credit for. I mean, he had come to me when him and his girlfriend of about a year were on the rocks and asked for advice. He had seemed genuinely conflicted about the whole thing, which was interesting to me since everyone painted him as this big playboy. He so wasn’t.
I nodded but didn’t say anything and before I knew it, I was out on the ice running drills and shooting pucks at our goalie until I felt like I was blue in the face. I felt good about our game tomorrow. My body felt loose and I was finally in a good head space.
Hallsy’s girlfriend worked near the practice facility, so she gave him a ride home. I liked Mia, she was sweet and always seemed like someone who would welcome someone into the fold. The two had been together forever, so it was like they were practically married. I drove TJ home with me, but still hadn’t heard from Dinah. I was pacing in the kitchen when we got home so much that TJ made me take a shot with him.
“What’s your problem?” he asked.
I sighed and ran a hand through my long hair. “Nothing. I’m just waiting to hear from Dinah. I think I’m going to meet her for a drink tonight.”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “This isn’t just a casual fuck for you is it?”
“What?” I asked confused. “Of course not. You know I don’t do casual.”
TJ hung his head with a sigh. “She was married before, she might not be ready to have something serious yet.”
I was kind of afraid of that. I bit my lip.
TJ clapped me on the shoulder. “Just don’t fall in love with her too soon.”
I wasn’t sure how to tell him that was impossible, because I had fallen in love with her a long time ago.
“You want to get something to eat?” he asked.
“Sure.”
We were on our way back from dinner when Dinah finally texted me.
DINAH: Mac’s Tavern. Please give me an excuse to leave.
ME: What’s in it for me?
DINAH: HAR HAR HAR. Don’t be a dick.
ME: OMW.
I changed wh
en we got back to the condo, but was unsure if I looked okay, and I messed with my hair so much that TJ finally threw me out of the condo and told me to go get Dinah. He had plans with this girl he had been casually seeing, so I had a feeling he was just trying to get rid of me. Not sure TJ was the kind of guy that would ever settle down. I was hoping to end up at Dinah’s place tonight anyway where there were no room for interruptions or roommates complaining about noise. I smoothed down my hair in the UBER I caught, and realized how nervous I was. I shouldn’t be nervous, it was just Dinah. She was my best friend and we had already spent time together between the sheets. That made me nervous even more because I wondered if she regretted it now.
When I walked into the bar, I saw her standing there with a beer in hand laughing at something some guy was saying to her. I was pretty sure I had met the guy before, her coworker Matt, but they were just friends. Although, I guess we were just friends at one point too. Her dark hair was still pulled back in that tight bun on top of her head and I wanted to unravel it and run my fingers through her hair. She was wearing a black pencil skirt with one of her work blouses, and she looked so damn good. She glanced down at her phone, and when she looked up and spotted me I swore her eyes lit up. She waved a hand to beckon me over to her.
I swiftly moved across the bar towards her. She smiled up at me and I bent down to her height to hug her. I planted a small kiss on her cheek, and she made a surprised face. Was I not supposed to do that? She smiled at me and I put my arm around her waist.
She pointed at me and said to her coworker. “Matt, you remember my friend Noah, right?”
Matt nodded and had a grin on his face. He put his hand out and I shook it. “Hey man, nice to meet you again.”
“Likewise,” I said.
“You want a beer?” Dinah asked.
“Sure.”
She waved over the bartender and I ordered a beer. She took a sip of her pint that she drank in the can. It was cute how much she gave exactly zero fucks about anything. I had met her insane brothers, so it seemed to be a family trait, but I liked it so much better on her. I didn’t pull my arm from around her waist though, and she leaned into me. It was nice to feel wanted, and it was nice that none of her coworkers were asking me about hockey. None of them really seemed like the hockey type anyway, but I think Matt knew who I was since we had met before.
She finished her beer and gave me this look that I couldn’t decipher. There was a twinkle in her eyes, so I gulped down the rest of my beer and called an UBER.
“Hey, man, it was good to meet you again.” I said to Matt.
He smirked at Dinah and she glared. “Don’t,” she growled.
“Get some!” he laughed as we walked away.
“Did you tell him?” I asked.
She shook her head. “I tried not to. He guessed. Apparently it was obvious to everyone but me that you had the hots for me.”
“Really?” I asked. “You never knew?”
Dinah shook her head and her eyes were wide. “No, you’re so subtle. Until last night I thought maybe that kiss before your road trip was a drunk kiss.”
I slipped my hand into hers and she seemed to freeze at that, but then she leaned into my arm. Our UBER came soon so I didn’t have a response to that before we got in. The ride to our complex was silent, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure if she wanted me to come to her place but when we got to our floor she beckoned me to follow her.
“You coming?” she asked.
I nodded and followed her inside.
I followed her into the kitchen where she got a glass of water. I heard a thump from the wall next door. We shared a look and then I heard a loud moan. Oh, TJ definitely wanted me to get out of the condo tonight.
She laughed. “Well, I guess I know why TJ didn’t come along.”
I laughed with her, and crossed over to her. I just wanted to hold her in my arms and have a repeat of last night, but I wasn’t sure if that was on the table.
“You want a drink?” she asked.
“I’m good.”
She nodded her head. “Look, I don’t want this to be awkward between us.”
“I don’t want it to be like that either.”
She looked down at the floor. “Um...was it a one-time thing?”
“If that’s what you want,” I explained, even though I was really hoping it was not.
I wanted to tell her how I felt, that I was crazy about her and had been harboring a crush for her for two years. That spending one night with her hadn’t changed that. That it wasn’t just a physical thing, and that I was in love with her. But I kept thinking about what TJ said about maybe she was not ready for a relationship with me. I felt like laying out my feelings could ruin our friendship.
“Noah, what do you want?” she asked looking up at me hopefully.
I looked down at her. I always forgot how small she was. She had such a big personality, her don’t give a fuck attitude made her seem like the tallest person in the room. I put my hands on her hips and lifted her up onto her kitchen island so she was at eye-level with me. She looked shocked at first, but then she laced her hands at the back of my head. I pulled her mouth to mine and kissed her with all the passion I could muster.
9
DINAH
Oh.
Oh, he was good.
I liked this aggressive Noah. I liked the way he didn’t even think and threw me up on the island kissing me fiercely. I didn’t care if this was casual or serious or whatever, I just knew he made me feel good and I hadn’t had that in a very long time. And...it was Noah! Sweet, kind Noah, who I loved hanging out with and was probably the reason that I was alive right now. Noah, my best friend who knew all of my secrets and had held me when I cried after going through an awful miscarriage and finding out I couldn’t have kids. The man with the kind eyes and the big heart who was always there for anyone in a pinch. Even if he didn’t really know them that well.
We heard a moan through the shared walls of our respective kitchens, and we both pulled away so we could cackle with laughter. Noah’s eyes were shiny with amusement. “I think it’s safe to say TJ thought I wasn’t sleeping in my bed tonight again.”
“Oh.”
Noah twirled his hand around my long hair. “Dinah, I’m not trying to pressure you to do what we did last night again. Okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
“We should probably have that talk, eh?”
I frowned. I really didn’t want to have this talk he wanted to have. Because deep down I knew what it would be. Noah was young and hot and he had his pick of all the beautiful women in this city. Why would he ever want someone like me? A pocket-sized sleep-deprived widow with a lot of baggage? No thank you.
He reached down to grab my hand and stroked his thumb across the back of it. “It’s not a bad thing, you know?”
“What isn’t?” I asked, generally confused about what the hell was happening. I just wanted him to keep on kissing me rather than talk about how this could never be real for him.
He sighed and put a shaky hand in his hair nervously. “Look, I really like you, always have, and I...well...it wasn’t just sex for me. So you let me know when you’re ready.”
I stared at him dumbfounded. “What?”
His smile crinkled around his eyes. “Dinah, I like you. A lot.”
“I like you too.”
He sighed again. “No, I mean, I want to leave what this is between us up to you.”
I stared at him some more. Oh...was he saying he had feelings for me but he wanted me to decide if we turned this into something more? I felt his big hands go to my cheeks and he kissed me softly. He pulled away so he could lift me off the kitchen island.
“I should probably go. You have work in the morning.”
It seemed like he wasn’t waiting for me to give him the answer tonight, and I wasn’t sure if I had an answer yet. I knew I liked Noah, I loved hanging out with him and I enjoyed kissing him, but something serious
? Was I ready for that? Would Jason have been okay with me dating again?
“You can stay,” I heard myself saying.
His dark eyebrow shot up in question. “Don’t you have to work on edits?”
I glared at him and put my hands on my hips. “How do you know that?”
He chuckled. “You told me. I respect your writing time. I don’t want to ever come between that.”
My heart nearly flipped over in my chest at that. Who was this guy? Noah was unlike any man I had ever known before. The fact that he was so respectful of my time and my need to work on my craft meant so much to me. There was something inside myself that was digging into me, but I tried to push it down. Last night had not just been a physical thing for me either. Noah might be my best friend, but if we hung out and it continued to involve kissing, I was pretty sure I was going to fall in love with him.
I squinted at the clock on my stove, it was already ten-thirty but I could get some writing in before bed. It wasn’t like I ever went to sleep at a decent hour anyway. I looked up at Noah. “Can you give me like a half-hour?”
He nodded. “Whatever you want.”
I reached up on my tip-toes to kiss his cheek, but since he was an entire foot taller than me he had to bend down so I could reach him. I walked away and shut myself into my office. I opened my laptop and started getting to work.
My editor had emailed me big picture edits earlier today, but I hadn’t even looked at it yet. I opened my email and started making notes for where I needed to fix things. No one had really prepared me for what it was going to be like once I got my first book published. The first book was doing okay, not a bestseller or anything, enough that my publisher bought another book. I had to learn to pivot from edits on this current novel, to drafting a third novel. I wanted to write something completely different. Oh yeah, all of this on top of working a full-time demanding job in marketing that was slowly sucking my soul out. Seriously, I was about ready to just up and quit, but I kind of needed the job to pay my bills. I loved being a writer, but right now it wasn’t exactly a living wage.