by Krista Wolf
“I’m in,” I said, my grin as wide as it’s ever been. A single tear streamed down my cheek. I didn’t even try to stop it.
“Good!” Hunter said, rising from his chair.
“Finally!” Brandon added, picking up his fork again and sticking it into a meatball.
I glanced at Colin, who balled up his napkin and threw it at me playfully.
“Oh by the way… tonight’s your turn to do dishes!”
Twelve
CLAUDIA
It was cool. Fun. Amazing. And the best part? There was never a dull moment.
Living with three hot guys was like a dream come true. At first they were perfect gentlemen, giving me a wide berth, adhering to a strict shower schedule, being careful not to get caught around the house without shirts or shorts on. But as time went on…
As time went on things got a little lax.
It began with Brandon, who’d often frequent the living room in his boxers. The others yelled at him more than once to keep covered, but I could tell they were only doing it halfheartedly. He was at practice an awful lot, and dressed head to toe in heavy football gear. At home, it seemed the last thing he wanted to do was wear clothes.
And who was I to argue?
Colin, with his lithe, swimmer’s body, liked to go shirtless as well. He was always showering, to wash off the chlorine or salt or whatever it was from the pool. More than once I caught a glimpse of his beautiful abs or his tight, chiseled ass — either one of which were straight out of a Calvin Klein underwear ad.
Hunter was more private, and spent a lot more time in his room. His door was always closed, and I never could figure out what he was doing in there. Studying, I figured. Strange though, because he didn’t even play music or anything.
As for me, I was a good girl… for the most part. At times things got casual, and I’d dip downstairs in something like yoga pants or a tight shirt or a skirt that was a little on the shorter side. Nothing I wouldn’t wear normally though. Although normally, I wouldn’t wear these things around three hot guys I was trying not to be interested in.
Living in the old Victorian house was a welcome change from living in my old place, too. For one it was absolutely beautiful. Many of the original fixtures were still there, left intact or only minimally damaged by the hard-partying Delta Delta Taus. Room by room we stripped away wallpaper and livened the place up with a fresh coat of paint. Pulled up old carpeting to reveal beautiful, original flooring. Hunter turned out to be the consummate handyman. He knew how to do just about everything, and whenever he didn’t he always seemed to ‘know a guy.’
Too bad you can’t go after him, the little angel on my shoulder admonished. He’s an amazing catch…
But he’s also off limits.
The decision had been an easy one of course; they were all off limits. I couldn’t date any one of them without causing ripples between the others, and the last thing I wanted to do was screw up their friendship over the arrangement I’d made.
Which was really hard too, because I liked them all.
Besides, it was blatantly obvious from the start the three of them had made some sort of similar agreement. Any time one of them would even mildly flirt with me, the other two would deliver him a stern, withering look.
“So tell me,” I’d asked Colin once, figuring he was the easiest nut to crack “What’s the deal between you guys?”
I caught him in the middle of pouring pancakes on a Saturday morning, focusing on keeping every one a specific size and thickness. It was a ritual he was usually meticulous about, and I was feeling exceptionally playful.
“What deal?”
“The one where you all treat me like overprotective brothers looking out for an innocent sister.”
He’d laughed nervously at that, but in doing so, had screwed up pouring the batter. A trail of thick golden liquid ran up the side of the pan, spoiling his perfect record.
“And what’s wrong with brothers protecting a sister?”
“Nothing,” I shrugged, biting into a piece of bacon. “It’s just… well… sometimes I wonder what it would be like if one of you actually liked me.”
“We all like you,” he said simply.
“No,” I teased, leaning in just a little too close to his ear. “I mean like like me.”
I detected the change… the nearly imperceptible little twitch that ran down the side of his body. Colin might be off limits, sure. But that didn’t mean flirting with him was too.
“You know,” he said, turning to face me. “The whole idea of that would be cataclysmically bad.”
“For who?”
“For all of us!”
I shrugged, pretending to consider it. “Possibly.”
“Not just possibly,” he said. “Definitely.”
He was right of course, but it didn’t stop me from messing with him. I’d found I loved messing with all the boys, but especially Colin.
“What if I liked you?”
He turned into me, his lithe, athletic body barely contained by a fresh white T-shirt. We were the only ones up in the whole house. The only ones around…
“Do you?” he asked, and his ice-blue eyes sparkled.
I crunched down on another bite of bacon. “I don’t know,” I shrugged, pretending to look him up and down. Well, not really pretending. “I could… but then again…” I bumped him with my hip. “That might be cataclysmically bad.”
The smell of burning pancakes brought him back to the task at hand. As he cursed and flipped as fast as he could, I couldn’t help but chuckle on the way out of the kitchen.
In truth I was being an asshole. Making myself feel better at the expense of someone else. The breakup with Garrett had emotionally drained me, and I’d been feeling down about myself ever since. Only now was I coming out of my shell. Finally opening up to the idea that, someday soon, I’d have to eventually dip my toes back in the dating pool.
It’s more than loneliness though, the honest part of me knew. It’s something else too.
My roommates were beautiful, sexy, amazing guys. And single. Let’s not forget single. In the short time I’d been here they’d treated me like a princess, and I’d done my best to be there for them as well.
For example there was Brandon, failing two classes right from the start of the semester. His entire scholarship, not to mention his whole future with the team, was in jeopardy. Colin had taken to tutoring him, and when I found out I jumped right in to help. Already he’d done better on his latest round of exams. Still, he needed more work and less partying. More studying. More structure.
Colin seemed fine on the outside, but it was obvious his obsessive compulsive order was being fed by some inner turmoil. I suspected it had something to do with his ex girlfriend, who he talked about just a little too frequently. I hadn’t gotten him to open up yet, though. He always played it off like everything was fine.
And Hunter? He was the most private of all. He was fine whenever we were in a group setting, but when he and I were alone in the house it seemed like he would intentionally avoid me. Any contact we had was playful and fun, but he kept it short and sweet… as if he were afraid to let things go on longer.
Even so, there was a strange magnetism between us. A natural chemistry that seemed to deepen the more we ignored it. And there was something about him as well. Some deep-seeded secret he kept close to his perfectly-sculpted chest. The more he hid it, the more I wanted to know. And the more he denied me, the closer I wanted to be to him.
The whole thing was incredible, it really was. For the first time in forever I actually had family. People who looked out for me, cared about me, locked the door with me inside the house at night. We played together, laughed together, ate together, even got involved in each other’s lives. I’d see Colin or Hunter on campus, and they’d walk with me sometimes. Or I’d stop by the football field to watch Brandon drill. To admire the herculean effort he was putting in as an athlete, even as Colin and I did our best to hone him as an
academic student.
We became comfortable. Lax. Even flirtatious. But if just one of us succumbed to our more baser, honest desires?
I knew it held the sad promise of going bad.
Thirteen
COLIN
CRASH!
I knew without looking the phone had made a hole in the wall. The hole could be fixed, though. Everything else… couldn’t.
Why do you do this to yourself?
I didn’t know. It made no sense, really. The only thing I knew was that, as my anger subsided, I hoped my phone wasn’t broken beyond repair.
Why do you still even care?
In truth I shouldn’t. Holly was gone — long gone, in fact — and no matter how much I clung to the glories of our past relationship she was not coming back.
Not that I even wanted her back. Not after Derrick. Not after she’d give him—
“Colin?”
Claudia stood in the doorway, not sure whether to come in or remain in the hall. She looked absolutely beautiful, even in her paint-streaked sweatpants.
“Hi.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah sure,” I said bitterly. “I was just… uh… adjusting my phone.”
I tried to crack a smile, and she helped with one of her own. Bending to retrieve my phone, she entered the room and bounced down on the bed next to me.
“The screen’s cracked,” she said hesitantly. “But I think it still works.”
Tiny shards of glass flaked away as she ran her finger over the screen. All of a sudden she jerked her hand back in pain.
“Oww!”
Before either of us could react she jammed her finger into her mouth and began sucking it. I felt terrible as I took her by the wrist.
“Here, let me see…”
There was a tiny cut along the pad of her finger. Nothing too bad. Glancing up I reached out and swiped a tiny droplet of blood from her lower lip with my thumb. She had really great lips.
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry,” I sighed. “That was my fault. I’m an asshole.”
“No you’re not.” She smiled again, holding her finger tight against her thumb. “Seems like the person you were talking to is the real asshole.”
I didn’t say a word. There really wasn’t anything to say.
“That was Holly, wasn’t it?”
I shook my head. “No,” I sighed. “It’s worse. Much worse.”
I felt dumb. Like a total loser. I should’ve lied, or made something up, or said it was really none of her business.
I told her anyway.
“That was me going on Holly’s Instagram account, and looking at photos of her and Derrick.”
She should’ve recoiled. Or laughed. Or punched me in the arm and told me I was an idiot. Instead Claudia only slipped an arm over my shoulder and pulled our heads together.
“I’m sorry honey.”
“Thanks,” I said, and I meant it. “My fault though. I punish myself, every time I look. But I can’t stop looking. I can’t stop—”
“Why don’t you just unfollow her?”
Because it would be too final, I wanted to say. Because it would be like losing the last piece I still have of her.
“I don’t know. Probably because I’m a glutton for punishment.”
“I know you two dated a long time,” said Claudia. “Was she like… your first girlfriend or something?”
I nodded. Holly and I were high school sweethearts. Shit, junior-high sweethearts. All the way up until last year.
“And how many lucky rebounds have you plowed through since the breakup?” she asked, trying to cheer me up.
Claudia’s hair fell over her face sexily, without trying to be sexy. She brushed it back so that her eyes met mine. I wanted to lie to her. I couldn’t.
“Zero.”
Her face registered genuine shock.
“This girl broke up with you last year, didn’t she?”
“Thirteen months ago,” I said. “Thirteen months and fourteen days.”
She blinked. “There’s been no one else? Holly’s the only girl you ever dated?”
It was pathetic, me counting the days. Even more pathetic that I’d remained single for this long. I didn’t care, though. For some reason it didn’t matter, telling these things to Claudia.
“We were supposed to get married. Supposed to get—”
“You?” Claudia said incredulously. “Colin, forgive me for being blunt but you’re a total panty-dropper! Heartbreakingly gorgeous!”
Here it comes…
“Your body alone is ridiculous! You could have any girl you wanted, any girl on campus, any time of the night or day!”
She wasn’t saying these things to boost my confidence, or cheer me up, or anything like that. I could tell that she meant them.
“You could be rebounding with half the co-eds on campus right now, and Holly’s the only girl you’ve ever slept with?”
Annnnd…. There it is.
“No,” I said, wincing at the inevitable followup.
Claudia seemed relieved. “Oh, so you had a couple of one night stands?”
I shook my head again slowly. “I mean ‘no’ as in I never slept with her.”
If Claudia was shocked before, now she was utterly astonished. Her mouth dropped open so wide it was scraping the floor.
“You… you never…”
“No,” I confirmed with a shrug. “I never.”
“Y—You’re a virgin?”
She said the word like so many others had said it, half-shock, half-whisper. Still it was loud enough. Too loud.
“Easy,” I murmured. My eyes darted to the open doorway. “The others are still here.”
“T—They don’t know?”
“No.”
Claudia’s expression was almost comical. She was at such a complete loss it was like she didn’t know how to react.
“They’re your roommates,” she said. “Your fraternity brothers. Why wouldn’t you tell them?”
I laughed bitterly. “Are you serious? They’re guys.”
“Yes, but—”
“No buts,” I interjected sternly. “And no telling them either. Promise?”
Her face, as beautiful as it was, was still a complete mask of disbelief. Even so, she had the presence of mind to nod her head.
“No, no,” she assured me. “Of course not.”
“Good.”
Claudia got up and kicked the door closed. When she sat back down on the bed she was even closer than before.
“How could this possibly be?” she demanded. “You went out with her for years!”
“Not my idea,” I assured her. “Her family is pretty religious. She kept telling me she wanted to save herself.”
I caught her staring downward, in the vicinity of my crotch. For some reason it made me laugh.
“How’d you get throu—”
“Blowjobs,” I said, answering her question preemptively. “Lots and lots and lots of blowjobs.”
She must’ve realized how she looked because she suddenly closed her mouth. “Well I hope they at least were good blowjobs!”
“The best I ever had,” I smiled, but the joke was lost on her.
“Colin forgive me for saying this,” she murmured, “but what the fuck? How could this girl expect someone like you to wait all that time? To just sit back and accept the fact that—”
“She slept with Derrick,” I said matter-o-factly. “My best friend. Not even three weeks after I left to come here.”
“Slept with?”
“Slept with,” I confirmed. “Screwed. Boned. Fucked…”
The last word dropped from my lips with so much acid disdain it could’ve burned a hole straight through the bed. But Claudia was done being shocked.
“Oh baby I’m so sorry…”
She pulled me close, just as I was about to tell her it was alright. That I didn’t care anymore, and that I was okay. Instead, I stayed silent while she swept me against her full
, heaving breasts.
Oh man…
She smelled good. Like coconuts and sunshine and fresh linens. Like—
“Your ex-girlfriend is crazy,” she said. “Batshit, certifiably crazy.”
One hand sifted its way into my hair, smoothing it back with such gentleness and caring I could easily fall asleep. Her touch sent goosebumps rocketing up and down my body. I wanted it to go on forever.
“Just look at you,” she murmured. One hand slipped beneath the hem of my shirt, pulling it up as if to make her point. With a slow, lingering touch, she ran her fingertips across the peaks and valleys of my rock-hard abdominals. “I mean… holy shit.”
Down in my shorts, everything shifted. I was growing bigger and harder by the second. Only a thin layer of breathable fabric separated my manhood from the outside air. I’d gotten changed for the night, and wasn’t wearing any underwear.
“Who could date you that long and not want to sleep with you?”
I gulped, wondering if how far she’d go. She’d dropped my shirt after making her point, but her hand still lingered. And if her hand traveled down, just a little bit further…
“And you’re a swimmer,” she said. “Imagine the strength. The stamina!” She was in a trance of her own now. “Just look around, at all these medals…”
My medals hung everywhere, on every wall. For the first time in my whole competitive life I didn’t give a shit about them. All I cared about was her hand, hovering at my waistband. Her face, inching its way closer to mine.
Her fingers moved up instead of down, pressing themselves against my chest. Ever so gently she eased me back, just far enough to look into my eyes.
“Colin… I…”
There was compassion there, and caring. But also attraction.
Hunger.
Lust.
“I… I think…”
For a brief. singular moment Claudia was at a total loss for words. Her gaze dropped, and in that split second I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to lean forward and plant my lips against hers and forget anything and everything I’d even known about Holly.