by Nella Tyler
“You are?” He smiled wryly and nodded.
“The only reason I’ve been avoiding you and not paying as much attention to you is because I promised your father that I wouldn’t get involved with you.”
I stared at him. “But you got involved with me already,” I pointed out. “It-it wasn’t until after we’d had sex that you started to back off.”
“You’ve been avoiding me, too,” he countered.
“Because you were turning me down and pushing me away,” I told him. “I thought… I figured… I might as well get on with my life.”
Cade chuckled. “And making a dinner you knew I’d hate was totally moving on, right?”
My cheeks burned with a blush. “That was petty, but you…”
“I like you, Autumn,” he said, interrupting me. “I like you a lot. I would love to spend time with you, but I can’t. I promised your father that I wouldn’t get involved, and then when he noticed us getting too close, he had a chat with me.”
I groaned, leaning against him. “Really?” I felt rather than saw Cade nodding. “Of course he would.”
“I really do want to get to know you better, see where this can go,” he told me. “But I can’t afford to lose this job. I have to make sure your dad knows I’m not getting distracted, and I have to honor my promise to him.”
I closed my eyes and breathed in the smell of the farm, mingled with the scent of Cade’s sweat, his cologne, his deodorant. It was so weirdly comforting, I didn’t want to pull back.
“So the only reason that you’re avoiding me is because you don’t want to get fired?”
Cade laughed quietly. “I’d say that’s a pretty good reason, wouldn’t you?” His hands felt strong on my shoulders, and he began rubbing my back just a little bit. “After all, if I’m dating you and I have no job, I doubt that would help my standing with your parents.”
I laughed in spite of myself. “That would be funny, except for the fact that it would also suck,” I said. I pulled back from his chest unwillingly, looking up at his face. “So you really like me?”
He looked into my eyes for a long moment and then leaned in, closing the last distance between us. He brushed his lips against mine, and for a second, I didn’t even know what to do; I was stunned at the fact that he was kissing me at all.
Cade’s hands fell from my shoulders and slid down to my waist, and I shifted my body up against his as he deepened the kiss. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, breathing in the smell of him, sliding the tip of my tongue along his lips until he opened his mouth.
I had no idea how much time passed between us as we began kissing more and more hungrily. My body heated up, tingling all over, and I could even feel myself starting to get wet as I got more and more turned on by the moment.
I wanted to pull Cade around the house, I wanted to throw him onto my bed… Hell, I wanted to climb into either his car or mine and just make love with him right then and there. If I had to, I might have even taken the risk of having sex with him right there in the grass in front of the house.
I pulled back, and Cade began kissing me again before I could even say anything. The feeling of his lips against mine, the taste of my cooking on his tongue, and the heat of his body against mine were almost too much to resist, and I let the kiss go on for what felt like an hour, as my hands wandered over him, and his hands trailed all over my body. I shivered against him, almost too turned on to care that my parents could walk out at any moment.
Clarity came to me, and I broke away from Cade’s lips. “I-I have to go inside,” I told him. I didn’t want to; but I knew that if I didn’t pull back and go back to my own place, if I didn’t let him leave, I was going to end up doing something that I might regret.
“Just go home,” I told him, trembling from the intensity of my arousal as I stepped away from him and back towards my parents’ house.
Dad was in the living room, watching TV with Addie, and Tuck was nowhere to be seen. I felt hot all over, little cold tingles threading through my nerves. “I think it’s time for my little girl to have her bath,” I said, as naturally as I possibly could.
“Getting to be about that time, eh?”
I smiled at Dad and gathered up my daughter from her playpen. I kissed the top of Addie’s head and snuggled her close.
“I think I’m going to make it a quiet night,” I told my father. “Get a nice bath with my little girl, put on a good movie, fall asleep on the couch snuggling her.”
“Sounds idyllic,” Dad said. I nodded and carried Addie outside.
Cade had already left. I could still feel my heart beating fast in my chest, and the heat in my veins. I walked around to the guest house, murmuring nonsense to my daughter, and thought about the incident with Cade. I couldn’t deny the fact that it was harder than I would have ever thought to just get over him and move on with my life.
I started up a bath for my daughter and tried to put the kiss out of my mind, but I couldn’t. “How’s my little girl tonight?” Addie cooed at me. “Did you like your dinner?” I almost laughed to myself; I’d been so irritated at how Cade had reacted to the sabotage meal I’d made for him, but it was funny in retrospect.
I started bathing my daughter, trying to think objectively about Cade. But it was impossible. I couldn’t be objective about him.
You tried moving on from him, and that obviously didn’t work. The kiss had been everything—everything—that our first kiss, that our first tryst together, had been. I wanted him, but there was nothing either of us could really do. He’d promised my father that he wouldn’t get involved with me. You need to move on, even if you can’t. I dried Addie off and opened up Netflix on my TV, to start looking for a suitable movie for Addie and me to watch.
I had no idea what to do with myself. I wanted Cade, but I didn’t want to make him lose his job with my Dad. I didn’t know if I could make myself take the risk of getting involved with him, not with Addie to think about.
I put on Charlotte’s Web and tried to put the idea of having anything more to do with Cade out of my mind. I knew it was impossible, but I would have to try, at least until the end of the season, when Cade was no longer my father’s employee.
I snuggled close to Addie on the couch. I kissed the top of her head, and tried to watch the TV. I was in an impossible situation and wasn’t even entirely sure how I felt about the subject of that impossible situation. We just have to wait. If I wait, then maybe I’ll figure out how I feel, and figure out how to make something happen.
Chapter Twenty Six
Cade
I pulled into the parking lot outside of the county fairgrounds, feeling jumpy and a little paranoid, but excited all at the same time. What you’re doing is crazy. But what else can you do?
After Autumn and I had kissed, I hadn’t been able to get her off my mind at all, no matter how much I tried. I’d managed to find her alone one afternoon, and we’d agreed to see each other—secretly. I hated that I was lying to Bob Nelson, but the damage had already been done.
I locked up my car and started looking around. Autumn had agreed to meet me at the entrance of the fairgrounds, with Addie in tow. She had told her parents that she was going to take her daughter—freshly a year old—to the fair, but not that she was going with me.
It wasn’t a work day, so I wasn’t breaking any rules or doing anything during time that belonged to my boss. I tried to tell myself that I was fine, that what I was doing wasn’t all that wrong. I still couldn’t help feeling a little guilty about the promise I’d made, that I had already broken.
I shook off the feeling of guilt and looked around. I spotted her at the entrance, holding Addie, looking around for me, and I smiled to myself. She looked absolutely beautiful: her hair pulled back, in a pair of jeans that fit her like a glove, and a shirt that clung to her curves. I hurried to get to her, looking around a bit to make sure I didn’t see anyone who might rat on me to Bob.
“Hey,” Autumn said, smiling at me as soon as I c
ame up. “Feel like your heart is going a hundred miles a minute?”
“Definitely,” I said. I looked at Addie. “Hey, little bit of nothing. How are you?” She gurgled blissfully.
“Good!” I glanced at Autumn.
“She’s up to four words,” she told me proudly. “She can say ‘Ma,’ ‘Dad,’ ‘Good,’ and ‘Tuck.’”
“Clever little girl,” I said, reaching out to give Addie’s hair a quick ruffle. “Just like her mama.”
“So, you want to check out the fair?” I nodded and leaned in to give Autumn a quick kiss on the cheek. I took her free hand, and we walked towards the gate, where the box office sat.
“Two adults, one baby,” I told the teenaged girl behind the glass.
“Babies are free,” the girl told me. “Can I see her hand?” Autumn extended Addie’s hand through the little gap in the window, and the girl pressed a butterfly stamp on the one-year-old’s hand. “Twenty-five for the two adults,” the girl added.
I took cash out of my wallet and the girl ripped off two wristbands from a sheet, handing them over to me before counting out the money. She gave me a five in change, and I helped Autumn with her wristband.
“When was the last time you came out to the fair?” Autumn shifted Addie in her arms, and I considered offering to take the little girl, but then thought against it.
“I didn’t come last year,” I admitted. “But the year before that I was dating someone and we checked it out.”
“I don’t think I was here last year, either,” she said. “I missed the opening of the fair, and then I was having morning sickness.”
“That will put a damper on your desire for roller coasters,” I said. “In fact, how are you going to do any roller coasters with Addie in tow?” Autumn shrugged.
“Guess I’ll have to come back another time this month with my parents and Tuck,” she said. “Make Mom hold Addie while the rest of us go on the extreme rides.”
I laughed. “Doesn’t your mom like extreme rides?”
Autumn shook her head. “She loves the ferris wheel, but nothing more extreme than the flying swings.”
“Should we take a walk around the fairgrounds, see what there is to see, and decide what we want to do first?”
She considered my question. “Sounds good. Also, I’m getting pretty hungry.”
We walked the whole fairway, checking out the different rides and games, and Autumn shifted Addie onto her back, holding her there with a strap. We bought funnel cakes and corn dogs, and talked about the rides that it would be safe for Addie to come with us on.
“I think we could do the sleigh one,” Autumn said. “They can bolt her down in my lap.”
“The swings are a bit much for her, though,” I said as we passed that ride.
“What about the carousel?”
“That’s doable,” Autumn said, nodding. “What do you think, little girl?” She looked over her shoulder at Addie, who still had powdered sugar on her face from a bite of funnel cake. Addie burbled her agreement, beaming.
We rode the carousel, the sleigh ride, and a flying elephants ride, and Addie managed them all as well as if she was a born daredevil. We found a few more rides and on some of them I held Addie while Autumn rode and we watched, or she insisted I ride, while she and Addie watched. It felt weird to be holding Addie while Autumn was on a ride; it felt like exactly what I should be doing and at the same time, weirdly foreign. I liked it.
After a while, we’d managed to get to the rides that we wanted to check out—at least the ones that didn’t have huge lines that would make us wait. “What do you want to do next?”
“Check out the animals?” We headed over to the farm tent—daring, since there were people who would recognize her—and Addie cooed and gurgled over the animals as we wandered from one to another stall, taking in the pigs, cows, chickens, and more. Someone had brought in some exotic yard fowl, and Autumn joked about getting herself some guinea hens just for fun.
From there we went to the games, since there wasn’t much else for us to do. We took turns, playing skeeball, the “test of strength,” and darts. Autumn was best at skeeball, and I was better at the “test of strength.” We went from one to another, joking and laughing, and I thought to myself again that it felt so good to be with her, just wandering around the fair.
“Ever shoot a gun before?” Autumn pointed to the target practice game, and I shrugged.
“Who hasn’t?”
She grinned. “Want to compete?”
I raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to shoot a gun with Addie strapped to you?”
Autumn rolled her eyes at me, looking up through her eyelashes. “It’s a pellet gun,” she pointed out. “No kickback, no spark.”
“It will look pretty cool, I guess,” I admitted. “And if you can even make the target…”
“I can make the target,” she insisted.
“How many times?”
She shrugged. “How many do you want to bet?”
“Five times,” I told her. “Perfect shot each time. Big prize.”
“I can do it,” she said. “What are we betting?”
I thought about it. “A kiss,” I told her. “Another kiss.”
“Okay,” she agreed. I saw the color rising up in her cheeks, the glint in her eyes. How could any man ever want to put her aside? She’s so beautiful. “I’ll go first.”
“Go for it,” I said. “I’ll watch, and then I’ll clobber whatever score you come up with.”
Autumn giggled. I gave the man running the shooting game five tickets for her turn up. She kept Addie strapped to her back and took her pellets from the man. I watched her bring the pellet gun up, sight it, and then take her shots. Two landed in the center—better than I would have thought she’d do—but the other three hit the outer rings.
“Not bad,” the man running the game said. “You can choose from these prizes.” He gestured to a row of small stuffed dogs.
“The green one,” she said. She looked at me. “Addie loves green.”
“My turn.” I took up one of the BB guns and gave the man my tickets for the game. I took a deep breath. I’d gone hunting a few times, but it had been a while since I’d shot anything. I brought the sight up, and looked at the target.
I took another breath; I wanted to win not only to get the big prize, and not only to get a kiss from Autumn, but for the sake of showing off to her.
I shot the first pellet. It hit the bullseye, and I looked over at Autumn. “I got two,” she said teasingly. “You have to do at least two, and you only really win if you get five.”
“I can do it,” I told her. I sighted again and pulled the trigger. It went in right next to the first one, still in the center. “One more and I’ve got more bullseyes than you.”
“Get it first, then brag,” she told me.
I took a quick, deep breath, and took another shot. Hit the bullseye again. “You were saying?”
“Five is the winning number,” she said playfully.
“I’ll get five,” I said, even though I wasn’t completely certain. I put the sight down, closed my eyes to steady them, and brought the gun back up. I shot twice, in rapid succession. Two pellets came out, and both hit the bullseye. It was pure luck, but I was glad. I turned to look at Autumn. “You were saying?”
“You played me!” She shook her head, grinning and looking excited. “You-you did something.”
“Pure skill,” I said, even though it wasn’t true at all. “Right, my man?” I looked at the guy running the game.
“It is a game of skill,” the man agreed. “You can pick one of the top shelf prices, or two of the middle shelf prizes, or three of the bottom shelf.”
“I’ll take that big stuffed bear,” I said, pointing at it. “The purple one.” I looked at Autumn. “You like purple, right?” She grinned even more.
“I do.”
We left the stall with her new bear and wandered around for a little more; she bought some cinnamon-r
oasted nuts, and checked the time. “You could come home with me, you know,” I pointed out.
“I can’t,” Autumn said, shaking her head. “If I stay too late, my parents will know something is up.” I had to agree with her.
“Can I at least get that kiss that you owe me?” She laughed and shifted Addie on her back.
“I suppose I should honor our bet, even if I’m still pretty sure you set me up,” she said. I knew it would have to be a pretty chaste kiss—we were in public, and on top of that Autumn had Addie to consider. It wasn’t like we could make out there in front of the fair.
I put my hands on Autumn’s waist and tugged her closer to me, trying to forget about Addie for the moment. I leaned in and brushed my lips against Autumn’s, starting soft.
I wanted to devour her; I wanted to take her home, strip her naked, and make love to her over and over again. But that wasn’t in the cards. Instead, I kissed her as hungrily and deeply as I could without shuffling Addie.
I pulled back after a few moments, my body heating up, and looked down at her. “Sometime soon, right?” Autumn’s flushed cheeks and bright eyes gave me the answer before her lips did.
“As soon as I can,” she said, stepping back from me and finding her keys in her purse. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, thinking of where my keys were so I could drive myself home.
Chapter Twenty Seven
Autumn
I looked around outside of the guest house, my heart beating faster in my chest. I’d told Mom that I was going to take Addie to the park by myself. I was actually going to meet with Cade, with my daughter in tow.
It was four in the afternoon, and Dad and Tuck were doing some chores around the farm. I picked up Addie’s carrier, which doubled as an insert for her car seat. I had a few things in her baby bag: not just a change of diapers and wipes, but some food I’d managed to put together. Cade was bringing more with him.
You’re being ridiculous. Just go. It was one of Cade’s days off, and I had finished up all of my chores early. Mom had a perfectly good story from me, and Tuck and Dad were too busy to ask questions, much less to notice that I was going anywhere.