Home with the Cowboy

by Mary Sue Jackson

  “Maybe wait a while before giving it to him again,” she said, trying to keep her voice light.

  Daniel was standing there with his arms crossed, face like a thundercloud. He didn’t seem inclined to jokes. He uncrossed his arms, reached out, and took the scrapbook without a word.

  She knew she’d hurt him by taking the job without consulting him, but she refused to feel guilty about that. He wasn’t her husband or even her boyfriend; he didn’t get to have a say in her life decisions.

  “Thank you for everything,” she said sincerely. “You’ll post on Instagram so I can see what Bobby’s doing?” She’d managed to extract that promise earlier from Daniel, despite his hatred of all things relating to social media.

  He nodded. Then he shoved the scrapbook under his arm and held out his hand to her. “Good luck. I hope the job and everything goes well.”

  She took his hand and shook it, trying to ignore the electricity that zinged her anytime they touched. Suddenly, she wanted to throw herself into his arms and tell him she didn’t care what had happened, she didn’t want to leave him. He’d somehow gotten into her heart, and the thought of living without him was like a bleeding wound in her chest.

  Tears sprang to her eyes. “I’m sorry for everything, too,” she whispered.

  Daniel’s hard expression softened. “So am I.”

  She wanted to say more, but Uncle James was calling from the car. “Better get a move on, little lady, or you’ll miss your flight!”

  Daniel picked up her luggage, waiting by the front door, and carried it down the steps to put it in the trunk. Willa kissed Bobby and held him close.

  “See you later, alligator,” she said.

  Bobby patted her cheek. “In a while, crocodile.”

  Willa laughed and cried at the same time. Robert had always told Bobby see you later, alligator when he’d gone to work, and Bobby had learned to respond with in a while, crocodile. She was surprised that Bobby had remembered such a thing. It almost felt like Robert and Stacey were there, seeing Willa off and telling her that their son would be well-cared for with his uncle.

  As Uncle James drove off, she tried not to notice that Daniel, with Bobby next to him, stood and watched the car drive away. She wiped at the tears on her cheeks, hoping Uncle James wouldn’t notice them.

  If he did notice, he was smart enough not to say anything.

  When they arrived at the airport, she told him he didn’t need to come inside. She wanted to be alone, anyway.

  “Best of luck to you, then,” he said, for once not calling her “little lady.” He touched her shoulder. “And thank you for loving that baby so much and showing my nephew the ropes. Without you, I don’t know what Danny would’ve done.”

  She smiled sadly. “He’s a smart guy. He would’ve figured it out.”

  As she was about to get out of the car, Uncle James said, “I don’t know what happened between you and my nephew,” he held up a hand to stop whatever she might say and continued, “and I know it ain’t none of my business, but I’ve never seen him get like this over a woman.”

  Willa stared at him in surprise.

  Uncle James rubbed the back of his neck. “All’s I’m sayin’ is, if you have any feelings for Danny, don’t let your own fear—or stubbornness—get in your way.” His lips tightened. “Take it from an old man who might have done something similar when he was your age.”

  Impulsively, Willa threw her arms around Uncle James and kissed his weathered cheek. “Thank you. Goodbye.”

  She got her luggage out of the trunk before Uncle James could get out to help her. Once inside, she dashed the tears from her eyes, but they wouldn’t stop. She cried all the way through security until she reached her gate, not caring that people stared at her.

  Thirty

  Bobby burst into tears about five minutes after Willa and Uncle James drove off. Feeling rather like he’d enjoy crying, too, Daniel picked up Bobby with a sigh. He patted Bobby’s back, telling him over and over again that everything would be all right.

  “Wiiiiiiiwah!” Bobby hiccupped and cried harder. His small face turned bright red as he cried so hard that Daniel was almost afraid the toddler would hyperventilate.

  Daniel kept his voice calm and soothing despite the turmoil building inside him.

  “You’re okay, buddy. You’re okay. I’m here. Don’t cry, buddy.”

  Bobby wouldn’t stop crying, though. Taking the boy inside the house, Daniel paced with him in his arms.

  God, he wished Willa had stayed. She could get Bobby to stop crying. She had a way with him—

  He shook his head. He couldn’t dwell on things that weren’t meant to happen. Willa had made her choice, and he’d have to accept it. Even if the sight of her driving away in that car had wrenched his heart in two.

  He’d told himself that he’d say goodbye to her without making it harder on her. It had also been why he’d barely spoken to her the entire week after their disagreement. He’d told himself that he was trying not to hurt her, but he knew that had been a lie.

  You’re a coward, he thought bitterly. You should’ve been on your hands and knees, begging her to stay.

  It didn’t matter now, though, did it? She was gone forever. And he had to focus on Bobby, not on his own broken heart.

  Bobby’s crying had quieted somewhat, but fat tears still rolled down the toddler’s cheeks. Not sure what else to do, Daniel began humming. It soon turned into a lullaby his mom used to sing to him, one he hadn’t thought about in ages.

  “You’re safe / you’re sound / don’t worry / I’m here, baby,” he sang over and over until his voice was hoarse.

  Finally, Bobby tired himself out and collapsed in an exhausted sleep. Daniel put him down for a nap, not caring that it was too early for his afternoon nap. He just hoped these crying fits didn’t continue to happen. He’d forget about Willa eventually—right?

  Daniel heard a car drive up. In the next moment, Sarah came through the front door, looking harried.

  “Is she gone already?” she cried.

  Daniel nodded dully. “I thought you’d already said goodbye?”

  “I told her I’d see her off, but there was an issue with one of the customers, and I got sidetracked—” Sarah sighed deeply. “Well, I guess that’s it, then. She’s gone back to New York, and we’ll never see her again.”

  Daniel wasn’t exactly in the mood to go over all this with Sarah, of all people. He shrugged a shoulder.

  “Willa never wanted to stay,” he said.

  “I don’t really believe that. Maybe in the beginning, but you don’t make friends like she did without reconsidering your original decision.” Sarah’s sharp-eyed gaze looked over Daniel, and she seemed to change the subject. “You look terrible.”

  For the first time in what felt like years, Daniel barked out a laugh. “Thanks. I was just about to get myself a beer. You want one?”

  “At three o’clock in the afternoon?” Sarah smiled wryly. “Sure, why not?”

  The two of them, a strange pair, sat on the porch while Bobby napped. Sarah sat on the porch swing, rocking gently, and Daniel sat himself down on the top step and stared out over the horizon.

  “She was a great gal,” said Sarah. “I’m sorry that she ended up leaving.”

  Daniel snorted. “You make it sound like she died.”

  “You’re actin’ like she did, son. No, no, don’t get your dander up. I don’t mean to make you mad. I’m an old woman, you know. You have to cut me slack.”

  “You ain’t that old.”

  “Don’t get cheeky.” Her smile returned before fading. “I really thought Willa would stay. After that fundraiser she put together for your birthday . . .” Sarah looked as if she wanted to say something else, but she drank her beer instead.

  “If you have something to ask me,” said Daniel, “you might as well say it.”

  “You’re as subtle as your uncle. Fine, here’s my question: did you tell her you loved her, or not?”
>
  Daniel continued to stare into the horizon, hearing the distant bellows of his cows. He inhaled the familiar scent of hay and manure, noting for the first time that it didn’t calm him like it usually did.

  He loved this farm. He loved this town. He’d never thought he’d need anything else, until Willa had shown up on his doorstep.

  “I did tell her I loved her. She decided that that wasn’t enough for her,” he said quietly.

  Sarah inhaled. “And she still left? I’m surprised.”

  Daniel finally looked over at Sarah. “Why? Willa doesn’t feel the same way, and she told me so. There’s nothing mysterious about it.”

  “Now, there’s a bald-faced lie if I ever heard one. Willa doesn’t love you? Horseshit—excuse my language, but that’s the only word I could think of.”

  Daniel’s lips twitched before he sighed. “You’re wrong. She doesn’t love me. Sorry if I’m more likely to believe her than you.”

  “I saw the way she looked at you. And she threw that fundraiser for you! What kind of a woman does that for a man she doesn’t love?” Sarah muttered something under her breath. “Here I was, thinking you were being a fool man, when the fool here is the woman. Shows what I know.”

  Daniel heard Bobby’s voice from inside the house. “I appreciate you coming out here, Sarah, and for thinking that about me. But it wasn’t meant to be with me and Willa. I need to get Bobby. He’s my priority now.”

  “I’ll stay here for a bit, if you don’t mind.”

  Daniel shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

  By the time Daniel had changed Bobby and gotten him his dinner, Uncle James had returned from taking Willa to the airport. Daniel could hear him and Sarah talking in low voices. When Daniel glanced out the window, he was surprised to see his uncle and Sarah sitting on the porch swing together.

  He was even further surprised when Sarah kissed Uncle James on the cheek before hurrying away. Well, at least one couple was getting it right, thought Daniel wryly.

  After dinner, Bobby picked up the scrapbook Willa had given him.

  “Do you want to look at it? How about you sit on my lap, and I’ll turn the pages?” said Daniel.

  Bobby sat on his lap, and Daniel began to look through what Willa had put together. His heart hurt when he saw the photos of his brother and Stacey with Bobby. He realized, the thought filled with sadness, that everyone in his life had left him. His parents, Robert, and now, Willa.

  At least he had Bobby.

  “This is your mommy,” he said to the little boy as he pointed to Stacey, “and this is your daddy. They both loved you so much. When you were born, your dad called me and was so-o-o excited.” He drew out the word the same way he’d heard Willa do it while reading a book to Bobby. “I’d never heard him talk like that.” Daniel smiled at the memory. Robert had almost not been able to tell Daniel anything beyond saying over and over again, “I have a son!”

  He hugged the boy a little closer to his side. “I know your parents didn’t want to leave you so soon, but you’ll see them again. But while you’re growing up, they’re watching you from heaven.”

  Bobby tried to pull a photo off the page, which Daniel stopped just in time before Bobby could begin to undo all of Willa’s hard work.

  The next few pages were photos of Willa and Bobby, including pictures that Willa had taken here in Texas, or asked him to take with her phone. Daniel smiled when he saw the photo of the two sitting on the tractor, Bobby “driving.” That had been a fun day, Daniel reflected.

  “Wiwah,” said Bobby as he pointed to one of the photos. Bobby looked up at Daniel. “Where’s Wiwah?”

  “She had to go home. But we’ll talk to her soon,” lied Daniel.

  He let out a sigh of relief when Bobby decided he was bored with the scrapbook and wanted down to play with his toys.

  Later in the day, after a simple supper of chili and sandwiches, when Daniel put Bobby to bed, Bobby’s lip quivered as he said, “Wiwah?”

  “She’s not here, buddy, but I’m here. You need to go to sleep now.”

  Daniel rubbed the boy’s back, and soon he was asleep. And before he forgot, Daniel placed the scrapbook on the little bookshelf in Bobby’s room, grateful to Willa that she’d thought to preserve such precious memories for Bobby.

  Thirty-One

  Daniel didn’t sleep that night. He stared at the ceiling, thinking about Willa, thinking about when she’d been in this very bed with him. His body ached for her as much as his heart did.

  He thought of what Sarah had said to him earlier. Was she right, that Willa did love him but was too scared to admit it?

  Daniel punched one of his pillows. Don’t be a fool, he thought. She told you to your face that she didn’t want to stay here with you.

  Only idiots refused to take somebody at their literal word.

  Yet he missed talking to her about his day. Normally, he’d tell her all about the tetchy mare he’d just gotten, and how he’d go about getting her tamed. He’d tell her about how the corn was growing, about how some pipe or something had broken, and Daniel had had to fix it.

  Willa would turn over onto her side and listen with real interest. She’d probably suggest something like, give that mare lots of sugar cubes. And then she’d tell Daniel about her day, about what Bobby had said or her frustrations with him when he wouldn’t do what she wanted him to do.

  They used to talk together like they were married. Just the thought of that word sent a pang through Daniel’s heart.

  He knew now, when all hope was lost, that Willa was the one woman he would’ve married in a heartbeat.

  It was a long time before he was able to fall asleep.

  The week passed as slowly as molasses. Daniel found himself running into reminders of Willa everywhere: a hair on his pillow, an almost empty bottle of shampoo in the shower, her leftover curry that she’d made that last weekend.

  He saw her on the porch, her smile wide and her curls bouncing as Bobby ran toward her. He saw her waving at him as he came in from the fields.

  She was like a ghost, haunting his every step. No matter what he did—washing his pillowcase, throwing out her shampoo, feeding Bobby her leftovers—she stuck around. He was half-tempted to bring a priest to his house to exorcise the damn place.

  That Saturday, Daniel headed into town to get some sacks of seed, Bobby in tow as always. At the store, he ran into DeeDee. She waved at him despite his best attempt to avoid her. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to her about Willa.

  “How y’all doin’? I’m so glad I ran into you both. I was wondering if y’all needed anything, now that Willa has gone back to New York,” she said.

  “We’re fine. Willa cooked a bunch of meals that she froze before she left.”

  “Of course she did.” DeeDee sighed. “I’m so sad she went back. I thought for sure she’d stay . . .”

  The only reason Daniel didn’t turn around and walk out was that his mother in heaven would skin him alive for being so rude to another lady. So, he gritted his teeth and hoped that DeeDee wouldn’t talk his ear off.

  “Hey there, Bobby. How you doin’?” said DeeDee, bending down to address the little boy. “You must’ve grown since I last saw you, you’re so big!”

  Bobby smiled shyly, keeping close to Daniel. Bobby had been clingy since Willa had left, although Daniel hadn’t minded. He’d needed the company as much as Bobby needed to feel safe and secure.

  Standing upright again, she added, “Well, I’m glad to see you two doing so well.”

  Daniel tilted his cowboy hat, but as he was about to leave, DeeDee said, “Wait! I meant to tell you something. Or, I wasn’t sure if I should tell you, but I think you should know,” she babbled.

  Daniel turned back, raising a speculative eyebrow. What in the world would DeeDee have to say to him?

  DeeDee chewed her bottom lip, smudging her bright pink lipstick. “It’s just, at our last ladies’ night, I might’ve gotten Willa a li’l tipsy. Only a little
bit, mind you.”

  “I’m not sure I follow.”

  “That’s because I’m right terrible at telling stories. Or so Doug says.” DeeDee snorted. “Well, I got Willa talking after she’d had a few, and I asked her point blank: ‘Are you in love with Daniel Gunn?’”

  Daniel sucked in a breath. His heart hammered so hard that he could barely hear DeeDee’s next words.

  “And that sly thing, she just blushed, said maybe she did, maybe she didn’t, but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t supposed to stay here. When I asked her to give me a yes or no answer, she just said, ‘Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you’re meant to be together.’”

  Daniel couldn’t breathe. Willa loved him. It made him want to shout to the heavens, and it made him want to drag her back to Texas by her ear.

  Then turn her over his knee and spank her.

  “This really happened?” he said.

  DeeDee nodded. “I didn’t think anything of it at the time because I assumed she’d tell you . . .” She patted his arm. “If you want to get her back, show her she belongs here. Not just as Bobby’s nanny, either.”

  Daniel didn’t hear DeeDee’s next words because he was too busy making plans. He left the store without his sacks of seed, he was so worked up. Bobby chattered in the backseat as Daniel drove back to the house, but Daniel was thinking too hard to notice what the toddler was saying.

  “DeeDee’s right,” he said to Bobby that evening as they ate dinner together. “I need to give Willa a reason to stay. Not just that, but something only she can do.”

  Bobby threw a bite of carrot onto the kitchen floor with a bright laugh.

  The entire town needed Willa, Daniel realized. And as he lie awake that night, he didn’t stew about how he’d never see her again. He thought instead of what he could do to give her a reason to return.

  He didn’t sleep a wink, but by the morning, he’d decided that he needed to start an art center with Willa as the director. The town didn’t have anything like that—the arts weren’t all that appreciated, compared to sports. Willa would be perfect for the job, though.