Suddenly, Nate lifts me off the dresser. I squeal, and he laughs. He carries me to his bed and throws me down.
He puts my arms above my head and pins them down, planting kisses everywhere. I’m delirious with lust as his erection pushes against my thigh. It’s really happening now, and I want nothing more than to know what it feels like.
With his teeth, he tugs at my bottom lip, and whispers, “I’ll go easy on you first …”
But the moment his tip is at my entrance, I gasp. It feels huge as he enters me, and I close my eyes and let the feelings wash over me. He’s slow and so gentle with me, fingers entwined with mine. And when he’s all the way in, I open my eyes again and come face to face with the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen. He’s never looked at me that way. As though he’s filled with so much love.
And he leans toward me and places the softest of kisses on my top lip, gazing at me as though he’s asking me for my permission to continue.
“Fuck,” I murmur, and it makes him pulse inside me. I feel everything, and it’s so damn tight but nice too.
“How does it feel?” he whispers back.
I don’t wanna talk about it. I don’t want it to be a big deal. I want him to do me like he’d do anyone else. As though I’m just another girl, and none of this means anything. Because if it did, my heart wouldn’t be able to handle it.
So I lean in to whisper into his ear, “Fuck me.”
And when he does, my jaw drops. He thrusts in and out, the motions powerful and amazing even though it hurts a little too. But the excitement is too much, and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. Like the fusion of two bodies, locking in sync. And when he kisses me passionately, everything falls into place.
This is how it was meant to be.
My first time.
Every thrust is a little quicker than the one before, and I find it hard not to get lost in the sensations. Our bodies collide, and my hips grind into his. Sweat drips down our backs, our sex indescribably fierce. Animalist and raw but, at the same time, intensely tender just as I imagined Nate to be. He kisses me everywhere—on my jaw, my cheeks, my collarbones, and leaves lingering kisses on my lips as we both veer closer to the edge.
My fingers dig into his back, and my eyes roll to the back of my head. Fuck, if this is what it’s like, I should’ve done this a long time ago.
In a moment of pure lust, I manage to push him off me, and I crawl on top.
“Whoa,” he groans, but I silence him with a kiss. My hand lingers on his lips as I lean back up and start riding him, slowly at first but then faster with each stroke.
I want him to look at me, to see the desire in my eyes, to see what he’s done to me … what he’s reduced me to. A hungry fucking mess of a girl who just wants to come all over him.
And right as his hands clasp around my waist and dig in, I come. It’s the most powerful orgasm I’ve ever had, and I own it out loud.
He smiles broadly and lets his hands roam freely across my body, the touch only magnifying the pleasure I’m feeling right now. And I continue to drive him insane, plunging him in and out of me until his face contorts … until I can feel the warmth explode inside me.
Holy shit.
He moans out loud while pumping inside me, his whole body tensing up. I revel in the sight, the power. I never realized it could feel so good and so empowering. Damn.
Nate’s panting as I tumble off him and land on his bed, completely out of breath. He props himself up on his elbow and gently taps on my belly, trailing a line all the way up like a spider all while staring at me as if I’m some kind of weirdo.
“What?” I say. It’s almost like he’s judging me.
He shrugs. “Nothing.” He smashes his lips onto mine, and all my worries fade away.
I lie in his bed and stare at the ceiling, wondering how I’m supposed to feel. I don’t feel any different, but at the same time, the whole world has shifted on its axis. How odd.
I close my eyes and breathe out a sigh.
“Can you stay?” Nate suddenly asks.
My eyes whisk open, and I stare at him for a moment before pulling the blanket on top of my naked body.
“I don’t know,” I mutter. Would my mom mind? She’d probably be mad as hell, but I’m not sure I’d care. All I know is that my heart fluttered the moment he asked. I wanna say yes so badly … So why not?
“Okay,” I answer.
He doesn’t say another word, but the smile that follows is enough to fill my heart with a warmth I’ve never experienced.
Nate grabs me and pulls me closer toward him, and I curl up against his warm body. With his hand around my waist and soft breath in my neck, I fall into a deep, wonderful sleep.
I don’t know how long we lie here together in his bed before the door is abruptly opened on us. The bright sun shining through the window makes me blink a couple of times. Did we sleep through the night?
Someone clears his throat. It’s not Nate. “Ahem.”
I roll away from Nate and grasp the blanket, pulling it up to my neck before looking up to see who it is.
Nate’s face turns white. “Dad?”
Well, shit.
Chapter 26
Nate
How to ruin the world’s best after-fuck sleep? Your dad walking in on you will do the trick.
Short of actually having sex, there’s nothing more embarrassing than your dad catching you in bed with a girl, and not only that, but that judgmental look on his face will set the tone for the next few days, and I can’t fucking wait.
Great.
“Nate,” he says with a stern voice. “What is this?”
“It’s, uh … you know …” I roll my eyes. He wants me to feel ashamed.
“Who are you, young lady?” My dad cocks his head.
“Um … Sam Cook. Nice to meet you.” She gives him an awkward smile and waves at him, and I can tell from the glance she throws me that she’s begging me to rescue her from this situation.
“Um … Dad, could you maybe give us some privacy?” I ask, and I add, “Please?”
He frowns but then eyeballs her and immediately steps back and closes the door. “One minute.”
It’s enough for us to giggle at each other and grab our clothes.
“No fondling,” my dad calls out.
And we both snigger quietly.
We throw on our clothes just in time before he opens the door again. He eyes us down as we’re both sitting on the bed acting like nothing ever happened. But something big did happen … something I would say was amazing. And whenever I throw a glance at her, I hope she can feel it too, that buzzing feeling, the thrum of our hearts.
Even though the odds are stacked against us, even though it’s all kinds of wrong to be together right now, none of that matters.
“So … can you explain to me what just happened here?”
“No,” I say. “No, thanks.”
Sam snorts and hides her laughter behind her hand.
My dad silently judges her with a look. “And you, Sam … care to explain what you’re doing in my house?”
“Dad, don’t,” I say. “This isn’t on her. It was my idea.”
“Right.” He narrows his eyes. “Did you forget the deal we made? No girls in the bedroom until you were done with high school.”
Goddammit, I hate that he’s bringing that up with her here. “I didn’t forget. But it just … happened.” I shrug it off and glance at her. Our hands graze against each other, and my pinky briefly touches hers.
“Whatever this was, it’s not happening again,” my dad says, holding up his hand. “And I don’t want to hear complaints.”
I suck it up, holding my breath. I don’t want to make a scene in front of her.
“Time to go home, Sam.” Dad steps aside, allowing her to exit without even looking at me. When she’s gone, all that remains is a warm spot on my bed and all the memories she left behind.
I didn’t want it to end. I had so much more to gi
ve. So much more to tell her. Minutes weren’t enough.
“Nate, you know better than this.” My dad taps his foot on the floor. “Goddammit. I come home and find you naked in bed with a random girl?”
“She’s not a random girl, Dad,” I reply.
“She needs to stay away from you.”
“Why? It’s my choice to be with her.” I get up from the bed. “I don’t need you lecturing me on who I can and can’t date.”
“You will listen to me. As long as you live under my roof, you’ll respect my rules and authority.”
“You can’t stop me from seeing her. If I can’t do it here, then I’ll do it somewhere else. Is that what you want?” I say. I know I’m all up in his face right now, but I can’t help it. He’s trying to ruin this for me, and I won’t let him.
“Dammit, son, why can’t you let this rest?” my father shouts. “She’s just a girl.”
“She’s the only good thing I have in my life right now,” I yell.
He makes a face. “What about your promise? You told me you’d stop. Dammit, Nate, we talked about this. Your lawyer said you needed to lay low.”
“Well, I’m not hanging out with Layla anymore, so you should be happy,” I exclaim. “At least it’s not her.”
“That doesn’t make it any better, and you know it,” he says, shaking his head. “What about the promise you made to Mom? That you’d do better, remember?”
“Don’t bring her into this.” I point my finger at his chest. “Don’t make me feel guilty for trying my best … for actually loving someone for once.”
“Don’t you point your finger at my chest.” My dad swats my hand away. “Show some respect.”
“I can’t give respect when I’m not shown how it’s done, now can I?” I retort. “I can’t even love the girl I choose.”
He makes a tsk sound. “That girl doesn’t know what she’s got herself into. Doesn’t even know what you’re capable of,” he responds.
“Wow … Thanks for the vote of confidence.” I can’t believe he just said that.
My dad’s revolted face tells me enough, so I try to push past him, but he keeps blocking my way.
“Ah-ah. Keys.” He holds up his hand and waits until I do what he says. “If you’re not gonna listen to me, then no car.”
I roll my eyes and fumble in my pocket, slapping the keys in his hand.
When he lowers his arm, I immediately run off. I don’t care if he steals my keys, I’ll fucking walk if I have to.
“This conversation isn’t over, son. You can run away all you like, but sooner or later, the truth will always come back to bite you.”
I know he’s right, but I don’t wanna hear it right now. Not when he insulted my ability to make the right choice, to stand up for my needs as a grown man … to stand up for the girl I want to be with.
Fuck this. I’m going to see her.
* * *
Sam
When I get home, I’m still giddy and feel like screaming. I don’t know why. It shouldn’t matter that much, but it does. I just had sex with Nate Wilson, and it was amazing, and all I can think about is kissing him and then doing it all over again.
But at the same time, this little lingering voice in the back of my head keeps telling me that what I did was wrong. That he’s a stalker, a killer—someone to fear, not to love.
I sigh. I wish it wasn’t this difficult.
I need someone to talk to about what just happened, but it can’t be my mom. Anyone but my mom. There’s only one other person in this world I could ever tell, so I guess it’s about time I fished my phone from my pocket and texted Mo.
Sam: Hey. Can we like … talk?
Mo: Hey. Of course. I just wanna say … sorry for the other day. I didn’t wanna hurt you on purpose.
Sam: Me too. I’m sorry for fighting. Can we call it a tie?
Mo: Yes, please. OMG! I miss my bestie.
Sam: Same! I have something amazing to tell you.
Mo: What?
Sam: I’m not a virgin anymore.
Suddenly, my phone begins to buzz, and I pick up.
“Shut up! Shut the fuck up! You did not just say that!” Mo yells, making me laugh. “Is it true?”
“Yep,” I say, snorting.
“Who?” she asks, always the nosy type, but I don’t mind.
“Don’t be mad.” I swallow away the lump in my throat before saying, “Nate.”
“Nate?” She sounds like she’s in shock. “You’re kidding, right?”
“No,” I say. “It’s true.”
“Nate fucking Wilson? Nooooooo. I don’t believe it.”
“I’m telling you, it’s the truth.”
“You two banged each other?” She still sounds like she can’t believe it. “Oh my God, Sam. Nate? No.”
“Yes,” I say, snorting. “Totally yes.”
“But you two hate each other? And he bullied you.”
“I know, but it’s different now.” How do I even explain everything that happened between Nate and me? I can’t put it into words over the phone.
“I don’t get it,” Mo says.
I shrug. “I guess that’s just it.”
“What? That I don’t get it or …?”
I laugh again. “No, I mean that I can’t explain it either.”
“But … how?” She sounds so befuddled that it makes me laugh.
“I don’t know. It just happened,” I say. “One minute, I was bandaging him up, and then the next, we were kissing, and it all happened so quickly.”
“Wait, wait, bandaging him? For what?” she asks. “Girl, you can’t drop this bombshell on me and expect me not to want all the fucking details.”
I grin like a dumbass. “Yeah, yeah, nosy lil bitch, I’ll tell you everything …”
She sighs. “But?”
“But I have to go inside. My mom’s probably waiting for me.”
She sighs a little louder. “Yeah, yeah, sure, bail on me now after dropping a bomb.”
“I’ll tell you everything, I promise. Just not now.”
“When are we meeting? I’m not waiting for all that tea,” she says.
“Tomorrow?”
“Tonight?” she says. “There’s a party at Robby’s house, and he invited me to come, so … are you coming too?”
Wow, she forgave him quickly. “Ah, no thanks. I’m kind of done with partying for a while.”
“Aww … you sure?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure,” I answer. “But you go have fun.”
“All right. I’ll wait until tomorrow to see ya, but you’d better bring all the deets.”
“Course,” I say. “Love ya.”
“Love ya too.”
I hang up and get out of the car, slamming the door shut behind me with a big smile on my face. I sneak inside the house, hoping my mom didn’t see me come in. I didn’t tell her where I went or that I’d stay the night. I’m sure she’s pissed, but I’m not looking for a fight right now, so I immediately go up to my room. I lie down on my bed with the worst of giddy smirks on my face I could possibly have. I roll around on my bed and bury my face into my pillow to scream.
When I look up, my mom’s standing in the doorway, staring at me with one eyebrow raised.
“I just got a phone call from a certain Mr. Wilson …”
Oh, shit.
She plants her hand against my door opening, and says, “Anything you wanna tell me?”
Certainly shit.
Chapter 27
Sam
I blush like crazy. “I can explain—”
She raises a finger and then lowers her cell phone and approaches me. She grabs my hands, clasps them together, and says, “All I wanna know is was it safe?”
I rub my lips together, trying to fight through the shame. When she releases my hands, I bury my head in my hands. “I don’t …”
She fishes something from her pocket. “Here.” I look up at the pill she’s holding. She sits down beside me and lower
s her head. “It’s okay. Take it.”
“What is it?” I ask, still completely zoned out from my mom knowing I had sex.
“A morning after pill. It’ll stop you from getting pregnant,” she says.
“Oh …” Well, fuck. I should’ve thought about that. “Shit.”
“I know, honey.” She places a hand on my knee. “It happens to a lot of us. But it’s okay. Take this. I’ll bring you a glass of water.”
She smiles and walks off again.
This whole exchange was really, really weird.
Like, my mom just found out I had sex for the first time ever, that her precious little girl is no longer a virgin … and all she does is give me a pill and smile at me? Is this even my mom?
She comes back with a glass of water and hands it to me. I stare at the pill and then her for a little while longer.
“No condom?” she asks, and I shake my head. “You weren’t on the pill, right?” I shake my head again. “Then take it,” she says, nodding at the pill. “We don’t want you getting pregnant from some jock now, do we?”
Did I ever tell him about her?
Maybe … or maybe not. I can’t remember the last time I had an actual conversation with my mom that wasn’t about Randy, so this feels like a breath of fresh air. And honestly, I miss this mom. The mom who understands, who’s there for me and doesn’t judge.
“Thanks,” I mutter.
“Of course, honey.”
I swallow down the pill and pause for a few seconds to let it sink in.
“Mom …”
She sits down beside me.
“Aren’t you mad?”
She shakes her head. “Maybe, a little bit,” she says, snorting. “But I did the same thing when I was your age, so I get it.”
“Ah, okay.” Well, that makes sense. “I just …”
“You don’t have to tell me everything,” she interjects. “Whatever you want is fine, but … I just wanna know if it was good. If it made you happy.”
I nod and smile, and so does she, and she wraps her arms around me for a sideways hug.
“That’s all I wanna know,” she says, sighing out loud. “My little girl … all grown up.”
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